🍗 Deathfat Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

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Catching the Yo Mama live where he calls Faggery Michael Zachary Micheals. He really wants to be balls deep in the gorlverse, but still has no idea who the characters are or the lore. I'd like for him to kindly fuck on out of Hamber shit. He should stick with Boozy and Gunt, I don't want him showing up in my Hamber shit. This is my safe space.
 
Amber better employ a new servant ASAP because girlie is FUCKED if she has to look after herself for any length of time.

Amber might be a useless bag of cooking oil 99% of the time but she does seem to have a knack for dragging lonely retards into her gravitational pull. She'll manage to tempt some halfwit to moisten her folds in exchange for a roof over their head and all the McDonald's they can eat.
 
Is this the first time she hasn't had a new girlfriend to instantly start taking care of her? She usually has someone to immediately swap to so she constantly had a caretaker.

The next wipey is going to need a jackhammer to get the job done if she doesn't find someone soon.
 
Nothing to add except thank God for all you catty, petty bitches. Mutual, my ass.

Unless you had to hide out from something for...exactly two years... why would you spend two years in YOUR 20's with this stank bitch.

There may have been a rule about continuous self-improvement. Or seeing your current "gf" go over and over and over an ex of several years ago may have been the impetus.

Man, is she A L O N E.
 
 The only future I can see for tubbo is methmomma coming to help her pack her up and arrange for cargo transport to Bumfuck, Oklahoma. Fat Al has never had to figure out moving (getting boxes, packing, hiring movers, deep cleaning the empty apartment, etc.) on her own and since she's the size of a buffalo, it might just kill her if she has to now. I don't believe Wipey is going to do all that; maybe she'll help with some of it but I'm sure she's not on the lease and she'll be fucking off back to wherever as soon as possible. The only person Al can even slightly count on is methmomma and who knows how much she should be relying on her.

Unless another caregiver comes out of the primordial ooze, Al has no one. She's got decreasing income, decreasing mobility and worst of all, she's flat out stupid. What most people know how to do and handle by the time they're 18, she still can't figure out because she's glommed on to people willing to do it for her and her IQ has never risen above room temperature. Her future is going to be a crappy apartment where she sits on her ass all day ordering delivery for every single meal. If she's lucky there'll be some dummy in her orbit to help her when she inevitably needs to go to the hospital or Wommart.

She needs to spend some serious time rethinking what her worth is right now and do something to improve it. For what it's worth, I'm not sure I ever believed the poly storyline but I do think Jade Francis is probably bi and after nearly two years with a sexless huffalump, she's going back to dick.
 
Mr. Ghoul said:
Jesus fuck what's with the retarded face paint and wig. I swear these fucking youtube commentators start doing the stupidest shit once they get a little taste of success and their egos inflate like balloons.
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“Battle not with monsters, lest ye become a monster, and if you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”
 
Thank god this arc is over. Jade was somehow more boring than Becky.

I'm slightly optimistic about what kind of person Amber can (quickly) get to orbit her next.
 
We can tell that the breakup was a surprise to Amber because in the days leading up to it we didn't get a bunch of pictures and video of her wearing her brightest lipstick, making kissy faces at the camera and smooshing her chest fat at us. Just a warning, that shit's probably gonna start soon.

Imagine being 32, having less than nothing to offer a partner and trying to hook someone in?
In this economy Amber will be lucky if she doesn't get robbed if she tries bringing in some rando she meets online again.
 
Pudgy Bear Claws said:
The only person Al can even slightly count on is methmomma and who knows how much she should be relying on her.
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Considering how much the money has dried up and how much of a net negative Amber brings to the table, I don't see why Kristine would want to take her in. Or anyone else, for that matter.
 
I adore you all but I think you're under estimating uhaul lesbians. Shes going to do the same thing to Jade that she did to Beck. Cry and whine about being broken hearted till she catches some floater to move in with, then hopefully the fireworks will start.
 
I don't see Meth mom coming in either, Amber is broke and getting to the point where it is increasingly hard to find rent that is cheap. My theory still is the savings are almost 0 and Amber is panicking because she needs to move very fast. I am still stumped about where she will go as OK, TN, FL are raising rents slowly but you need to be ideally a 2-person household. She cannot afford anywhere in TX that is in major cities.
 
Polski krowa said:
The most interesting part is going to be seeing who she gets dumped on
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I'm going with the same guess I had when Original Becky hit the bricks which is: her degenerate baby brother who is a faggot and wants to be on YT will be her replacement slave until a new one can be procured.
Bibbity Bobbity said:
There may have been a rule about continuous self-improvement.
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That certainly seemed to be implied. In The Begining, Amber was going to learn how to drive. She would lose weight and they would travel to Bora Bora which is in the Poconos which is in the Caribbean. But instead, Amber did what she always does, which is be fat and stink. This WLS saga was the last straw. It's why she was so frantic after being told she'd have to wait a year and get her shit together in the duration. Everything after that has been a charade to keep Daddy from leaving. She really thought that the prospect of dyeeng from the procedure would keep her slave on the plantation, for surely Jade would rather have a live pig than a dead one.

lol nope
 
StrawberryDouche said:
I'm going with the same guess I had when Original Becky hit the bricks which is: her degenerate baby brother who is a faggot and wants to be on YT will be her replacement slave until a new one can be procured.
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My money is on her mum, at least for a couple of weeks. I wouldn't be shocked if Amber tracks down the nearest troon to her and gets it to move in. Failing that I just think she'll be alone
 
I can imagine Amber going to methmom for a short period before she gets a new gorlfren.

I think methmom will have quite strict boundaries from being in recovery. I could be wrong, but I think her mum has a long term boyfriend so he might also have rules. ALR will constantly seek being coddled by her, thinking living with her mum be like the childhood she never had or like some fun sister shit to make up for lost time, but I’m guessing she won’t take her bs.
 
ADHD said:
Considering how much the money has dried up and how much of a net negative Amber brings to the table, I don't see why Kristine would want to take her in. Or anyone else, for that matter.
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I don't think her mom will take her in but I could see her potentially taking a few days off from work (compensated by Al) to help her useless spawn figure out a move to an apartment in the same general area as her. There's no way Amber is moving to some random state where she doesn't know anyone which is why I can see her settling kind of near her. If she finds another caregiver someplace else she might move there, I suppose it all depends on how fast she's planning to leave Lexington.
 
Maybe if ALR talks shit or lies about Jade, it will embolden Becky to tell her side of the story. It is always going to be in Becky's back pocket, but it is better to strike while the iron is hot.

The Gaycare Era was a hootenberry with the shade, antics, and events taking place. I am sure Becky could talk in depth about hygiene, yelling (heard in the background of Eric's video), Amber's weight damaging the Hyundai, off-camera disrespect, Becky's mother vs Amber, being forced to move to Lexington, and Becky's benzo zombification, and other stuff we do not know.

I imagine since Jade has left Amber, she could also tell stories, but it is more likely Jade will fade into obscurity and occasionally be brought up by Anguishlynn. Jade seems too cowardly and "done" to say anything back, unless this was some schizo plan to gather tea and save up wealth in some kind of inverse "Misery" style situation.

ChubbyTubbyBabeee said:
I wonder if Wifey leaving is due to Dusty and Becky confirming I'm that she's Jade
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Surely Destiny's tea spilling had put some stress on our gorl's heart and made her extra cranky. It was probably a factor in the inevitable split happening faster.

Jade was boring and did more harm to Amber's Frankenstein-esqe personality and channel than any gorlfriend ever has. Good riddance.
 
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