🍗 Deathfat Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

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"Intermittent fasting 16/8 with 2000 calories/day of ONLY HULTHY food, with walkeeen and danceeen for exercise."

That "plan" didn't last 3 hours before this 600 pound bag of stink and scabs was shoving garbage in her rotting mouth-hole and filming more bullshit for YouTube.

What an utter waste of oxygen.
 
The way she discards her clothes is just so trashy. The vile swine doesn't bother to wash or even fold them. She just throws them on her lint-infested carpet where they will inevitably be shoved into a garbage bag and put on the curb of a Goodwill.

Her idea of intermittent fasting is the same as Gunt's Ramadan strategy - binge eat your entire fridge and sleep for 16 hours.

She looks so sick and jaundicy she resembles the germ from the mucinex commercial more and more everyday.
 
Looks like we are reaching 2019 moon face, FAT, and grease levels again. 600 lbs back on the table? LETS FUCKING GO, FATTIE! YOU CAN DO IT!
 
Amber always tells us a good story about a new diet and exercise. The question is how long will she stick to it. My guess is till the weekend. She will have the same success as Chantal’s 40 days of water fast.

She probably went to the clinic on Monday and was told to lose 50-100 pounds before even considering wls. Now, she is trying to lose the weight, but we all know how this will turn out. She will tell us it was her decision not to get wls as it was her decision not to get married.
 
She didn't get denied because she wasn't in a program. She finally ran out of story line for her WLS arc.

The imaginary therapist was to buy time while trauma dumping on her audience. She even stretched out the last couple "sessions" when she still hadn't come up with a story to get out of it.

Now we get "I have to have time to come up with a new lie process my decision*" before telling her audience what happened.

Retarded, lying, brat.

ETA: * Also has to make sure that decision she makes up absolves her of any fault or responsibility.
 
I wasn't buying the lengthy emails from any health care provider. If the allegedly totes real therapist expressed pride, it might have been in terms of "wow, look at allll your progress! from fatty fat fat fat to fatty fat fat fat lite! so much progress! maybe more than people we are ACTUALLY willing to operate on. Which is not you. Ever. Bye!"

Back to calorie "counting" and "exercise". Never change.
 
Girl, you're not fooling anyone with this eating veggies with mustard BS.. You and the person who you stole got it from just want an excuse to eat fucking mustard.
 
Bibbity Bobbity said:
Back to calorie "counting" and "exercise". Never change.
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And then back to Weight Watchers, then to calorie counting, then to Noom, then to calorie counting, then to Weight Watchers because Jenny Craig filed for bankruptcy... The cycle is so predictable it's not funny.
 
Judging by her track record, I don't believe she made up the whole thing. It doesn't explain away her being in the office and stuff either. What I'm guessing happened is she got set up with the right people and after she cried about needing to see a year's worth of consistent progress in order to be approved for surgery, they broke it down and told her to start off with therapy and they'd see how her weight loss went from there. Like always, she then lied about how it was going and how impressed her nutritionist was with her despite her total lack of progress since starting the program. As a result I'm guessing they either booted her from the program Dr. Now thug life style or they told her that she has to start from square one and now she's back to the cycle.
 
Even more 8008135 said:
Intermittent fasting 16/8 with 2000 calories/day of ONLY HULTHY food,
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So Amber is going to try to eat like 90% of the working world. Coffee for breakfast, a quick lunch while at work, and dinner when they get home? Does she not realize most people dont eat for 16 hours at a time already?
Dinner at 7pm. ..night chores and tv etc with the family, wake up at 6 am (11 hours later) have a cup or two of black coffee...work..lunch at 11 or 12... so 16 hours of fasting... then lunch and dinner within 8 hours of each other.
 
BWAAAHAHAHAHA SHUT UP FATTY

She used to pull the mustard shit with Krystle this little "trick" is nothing new for her and we all know it wont work lmao
 
The Heartthrob said:
Judging by her track record, I don't believe she made up the whole thing. It doesn't explain away her being in the office and stuff either. What I'm guessing happened is she got set up with the right people and after she cried about needing to see a year's worth of consistent progress in order to be approved for surgery, they broke it down and told her to start off with therapy and they'd see how her weight loss went from there.
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We know she went to the initial session, where she played with her phone the whole time. It is likely that she started therapy as you described. She was counting the sessions.

The Heartthrob said:
Like always, she then lied about how it was going and how impressed her nutritionist was with her despite her total lack of progress since starting the program. As a result I'm guessing they either booted her from the program Dr. Now thug life style or they told her that she has to start from square one and now she's back to the cycle.
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I do not believe all this nonsense with the dietitian, being proud of her for failing to lose weight. This is not the type of discussion that would come from a medical professional. I think she was told that she was not ready and would need to continue therapy and to lose xxx amount of weight before even being considered. She was probably told to get her sleep apnea tested which is why she is “processing “ what she needs to do next.
 
That is such a grotesque thumbnail. Out of all her gross thumbnails (that YT picks for her, of course) this has gotta be in the top five for offputtingness.

Makes ya really wanna dive in there and find out why she's anacondaing that poor broccoli, doesn't it?

Yeah, no

Braver souls than mine, dear Kiwis, braver souls than mine
 
lol cow supreme said:
So Amber is going to try to eat like 90% of the working world. Coffee for breakfast, a quick lunch while at work, and dinner when they get home? Does she not realize most people dont eat for 16 hours at a time already?
Dinner at 7pm. ..night chores and tv etc with the family, wake up at 6 am (11 hours later) have a cup or two of black coffee...work..lunch at 11 or 12... so 16 hours of fasting... then lunch and dinner within 8 hours of each other.
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I think a lot of people still eat breakfast, like a bagel on the go or whatever. When I worked in offices, a lot of people ate breakfast muffins or yoghurt and stuff.

I know that's not your point, I just don't think intermittent fasting is actually that common. My life has been a lot better since I stopped believing in the myth of Breakfast as the Most Important Meal, but I think lots of people really do need to eat some kind of breakfast. Different strokes for different folks.

But obviously Amber following anything resembling a normal or common way of eating is pretty laughable.
 
Plot summary with commentary. Hmmm, I think I can answer this without watching the video. "My new lifestyle" - one day doesn't make a new lifestyle. "Eat with me" - ew gross, no. "Tarot reading" - you've already told us that you believe that tarot reading is bullshit.

Also, WTF is up with this? I thought watching videos of people eating is 'triggering', Ambo? I thought people seeing what you eat and commenting on it is 'triggering'? I thought broccoli was just as triggering as ice cream to you? Also, 4 days in a row? [Edit: 3 days in a row; 4 videos in 6 days]. Tell us you're desperate for coin without telling us that you're desperate for coin. Anyway, I'm stalling. This do this!

OMG A GIANT ANACONDA IS EATING AMBER, AND SHE'S THRASHING HER HEAD AROUND TO TRY AND GET OUT!! Sorry - false alarm: she's just wearing that stupid snakeskin tarp made by 'BishHuge'.

"Day 2 of no takeout... and I'm super happy about that :| " HAHAHA, tell that to your FACE. Seriously, she looks like she's in a hostage situation (type deal).

Amber COUNTED 1638 calories, which means she probably had around 3000. And 77oz of water (don't worry, she'll be back to her entire fluid intake being 4 cans of sodie per day by the end of the week).

Amber talks about the missing submarine. Amber doesn't understand the negative comments around it - don't hobby-shame! (despite Amber just saying you'd have to be crazy to have wanted to do this). Amber prattles on - not about the situation, but the COMMENTS SECTION from the news reports on this.

Amber's talking about hot-air balloons, and how she wouldn't go in one but lots of people enjoy it, and I'm zoning out from watching her wobble and jiggle from talking.

Also, the eye contact is unsettling. Go back to eye-fucking yourself in the viewfinder.
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She's torn up inside thinking about what the 5 people went through. They died doing what they love - just like what you're doing to yourself.

This must be her setting the stage for when she inevitably tells us she's failed this new 'eat hulthy' diet.

Amber USES A FASTING APP. You know, instead of just being productive in her day and eating on a schedule like everyone else in the world. She's sitting there WATCHING it tick away - and now so are we.

Five minutes to go, so time to get food! She's not doing breakfast, lunch, dinner, she's just eating what she wants - like every other single 'diet' of hers.

Now we get to watch MORE dead air, this time as Amber stares vacantly into the fridge. This segment takes way too long.
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Amber shows us her using the tare function to zero out her bowl, and fill it with food.

UGH WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS??!?!?! I've got a stomach of absolute STEEL, but this actually made me gag:
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Amber's doing this to be 'accountable'. No, you're doing it for the desperation clicks you get from people who enjoy watching pigs eat slop from a trough. And that's exactly how she looks shovelling this in. Ugh, she's even editing out the pauses inbetween bites to intensify this. Don't worry, I won't post pictures of this segment. [SKIP]

More sorting through her closet. It's not her shovelling an entire head of broccoli into her face hole, but still no. [SKIP]

Amber's not sure if she wants to get a set of tarot cards, but she's not sure if she believes in them. I'm personally of the opinion that the imagery helps you access information you already have in your subconscious. Regardless, it doesn't matter, as Amber's too lazy to bother learning all of the meanings of the 78 individual minor and major arcana cards (with their reversals), and the significance of various combinations that appear in spreads. She probably wouldn't even bother with looking into which DECK is right for her based upon her perceptions of how the universe works... but this is all woowoo talk, so let's move on. Amber says that you can't use tarot on someone who doesn't agree to it. She believes in tarot when it comes from the 'right type of energy' but not when it comes from the wrong type. She sounds like an 11 year old who's just discovered fluffy-bunny Wicca.

OH, this segment was mainly to shit on ANTPHRODITE. Nevermind.

Inspirational Quote Time! She rolls the jar in her hand, and has Jade pick a paper colour to select. I'll cast your good energy spell, Ambo! "Pickle Jar of Morality turn-turn-turn, and tell us the lesson that we should learn" (yes, I just borrowed the 'wheel of morality' bit from Animaniacs - the universe told me that it was appropriate for this). "Stay positive, work hard, and make it happen". Oh MY GOD, SO WEIRD! When Jade told her to pick a white card from the pickle jar, Amber looked and saw a white card. GOOSEBUMPS!!!! (not really). Holy shit, how much more generic can you get? Here's your horoscope from Al Yankovic: "You'll wake up, do a bunch of stuff, and then go back to sleep".

JUMPCUT TO AMBO'S COMPUTER SCREEN! It's some weird tarot deck I've never heard of, where even the men are women in it. Wyspell Feminine deck or something. 500+lbs, failed WLS prep, fatty liver, so inactive she had 2 bouts of pneumonia within 12 months, out of breath from talking, high blood pressure, constant skin infections, sleep apnea... and her dilemma is whether to pick the non-bordered cards or the bordered cards with hints on the card meanings. This is pure insanity. [SKIP]

Amber's comparing her camera to cell phone footage. She's tried EVERYTHING! Changing cameras, changing the lightbulbs in her apartment, etc. (If only she had a RINGLIGHT...)

This is obviously a case of user error - fuck right off [SKIP]

We're finally done.

TL;DR: WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST WATCH?! Amber hits the trifecta of NONTENT, CUNTENT, AND DEGENERACY. This video is pure lunacy. Amber gives her opinion on the submarine disaster. Amber makes a bowl of slop, and shovels it in, editing all of the dead air inbetween bites. Amber picks through a few more tents in her closet. Amber spends a LOT OF TIME pondering about buying a tarot deck, and says she used to read in her past. Amber takes an opportunity to shit on Antphrodite (without mentioning his name). Words of inspiration from the pickle jar. Comparing the footage from her camera vs her phone from yesterday's vlog. LUNACY!!!
:lunacy:
 
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I'm wondering if the mustard and veggies thing was stolen from an eating disordered YouTube "nutritionist".

In her memoir about bulimarexia, Marya Hornbacher wrote about dehydration, induced by both incessant vomiting and a lack of nutrients, makes you crave salt. She used tons of mustard on carrots and rice for salt.
 
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