🍗 Deathfat Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

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You know, this is one of the things where I'd get physically violent with her over. There's absolutely no reason for this 600 lb toddler to keep showing her tongue every chance she gets while eye fucking herself in the viewfinder. This is not even about manners at this point, there's just something wrong there that my lizard brain wants to auto-correct through force.
My very southern family has a saying, it’s called slappin the tastebuds out ya fucking mouth. That’s what she needs. She’d still be a deathfat though.
 
I was sad when her kiwi sub forum was collapsed into this thread but now I get it - the writing that she's boring as hell was all over the walls but I just didn't want to admit it yet (:_(

Fingers crossed that in 2023 we get an eviction, a terminal diagnosis, or better yet... a sudden death! Cuz I can't sit through another year inside her boring apartment watching her finger lego sets.
 
So my girlfriend works at the local Goodwill and she told me they wouldn’t be able to sell those little mini brand things. They’re too tiny and loose. She said they’d take them and just toss them once she left.

So Amber isn’t helping anyone by donating. Just skip the trip and bin them yourself.

It depends on the thrift store. I’ve seen bags of petite trinkets Legos or Shopkins packed in gallon Ziplock bags then sealed shut with packing tape as a “lot.” This is a pretty common yard sale move, too. Regardless, all those mini brands sent to Goodwill would be the tiny plastic equivalent of a Lularoe hun dumping all their stock on the local thrift stores once they jump ship.

Amber is so extremely boring and stagnant, I honestly don't know why I always come back, it feels like I developed Stockholm's syndrome or something. The kiwis breathing life to this thread are way more entertaining than the cow herself. Kudos to everybody.

I only really only frequent this thread nowadays because Kiwis make everything better. I’d love to cap myself but don’t want to oversaturate the thread (plus everyone else does a better job than I would.)
 
She’s mumbles about how diets don’t work and she needs to EAT INTUITIVELY and I roll my eyes. Same shit, different day. Still fat.
Chantal's "intuitive eating" meant she could eat what she wanted, whenever she wanted, and it was A LOT. That's how she got up to 400 pounds. Amber will be back to 572 (and beyond) in no time.
 
It depends on the thrift store. I’ve seen bags of petite trinkets Legos or Shopkins packed in gallon Ziplock bags then sealed shut with packing tape as a “lot.” This is a pretty common yard sale move, too. Regardless, all those mini brands sent to Goodwill would be the tiny plastic equivalent of a Lularoe hun dumping all their stock on the local thrift stores once they jump ship.
Common at bolth my local Goodwill and Salvation Army stores. They're doing it for Christmas ornaments too, but usual M.O. is doing it with small toys/action figures and sell in lots.
 
...Amber's a prime example of the philosophical thought experiment of "Plato's Cave" (it's obviously not based on any true happening, based on the logical inconsistencies of the story, but it's a thought experiement in perception):

Plato's Cave is a story of a group of people who spent their entire lives in a cave. They lived in total darkness, except for a small amount of light that would shine on a cave wall above their heads. On this wall, they could see the silhouettes of absolutely horrifying monsters prowling around the opening of the cave. The inhabitants would spend most of their day watching the shadows of these beasts. One man eventually decided to try and leave the cave to confront the monsters. He painstakingly climbed the rockwall in total darkness, and managed to pull himself out of the opening of the cave, where he was immediately blinded by intense light. Once his eyes acclimated to daylight, he looked around and saw a vast and beautiful world around him. He looked towards the cave and saw people with puppets moving in front of the cave opening. The man realized that the 'monsters' they saw were nothing more than shadows of puppets. The man endured the danger of climbing back into the cave in total darkness to warn his people. Everyone refused to believe him, because what he saw didn't match their learned experience as to the true nature of the world. To them, nothing was beyond the cave other than monsters. No open space to explore, no light, etc. No one left the cave.

Amber is totally content with her life, because she has everything that there is to have in the world. She has constant access to processed food. And a living space that can be filled with objects to resemble the living spaces of influencers. And access to processed food. And social media at the tips of her fingers 24/7. And she has constant access to processed food. She always seems to find enablers who are willing to be her caretaker, and can buy whatever children's toy she wants. Oh, and did I mention the food? Amber sits with that standing desk in front of her so she can flop her tits on the table and cram that massive midsection underneath. Then she stares at herself through the viewfinder of a camers set to film her from the chest up, and convinces herself that nothing exists below her boobs. This is all she's ever wanted, and for the most part it's been all she's ever had. Nothing beyond this is REAL to her, so there's no point in seeking it out. And certainly no reason to MISS it or kill yourself over it. The only part that really bothers her about her life, is that people aren't buying her victim mentality bullshit anymore, and fewer people are kissing her shelf over what an amazing person she is.


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Well, shit. That didn't take long. And COME ON, Charlie! "Boolean"... Boo-lee-in... or "Bullying" works, too (I'd settle for Admiral Janeway, too I suppose). Hey, show my Amberlynn and Chris Farley photos next!

Edited to add (because I just finished it): No Charlie, you aren't quite there. Her apartment is NOT her cave. The apartment is the RESULT of her thoughts and is insight into her mind. The cave (everyone's cave) is their mind and their limiting thoughts: learned behaviours, habits, assumptions of the world. She built it entirely in her mind, and her apartment/vlog/relationships are the consequences.
 
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I saw it on my feed but didn't watch, did he credit you?
Yes. He mentioned my name, and made it clear that it came from here without saying The Kiwi Farms, as this is 'The site who shall not be named'. He heavily cropped the original post, which cut out my avatar and name, but he had to because the first half of the post was VERY inappropriate for YouTube. Leaving it would have resulted in him getting the video demonitized, and he likely would have also received a strike or would have been reported by someone. I would have prefered if he just pretended it was his idea the whole time. I'm just here to send and receive honest and uncensored thoughts and ideas - oh, AND OF COURSE to shitpost and check out some funny photo edits. I don't understand the desire for social media fame for having their faces and entire lives COMPLETELY entangled in Gorl World.

I personally find it quite amusing. Everyone is SO QUICK to jump on the bandwagon for The Kiwi Farms to be deleted from the internet, and to declare ALL of the account holders as evil, fatphobic, homophobic, racist, transphobic, sociopathic losers who need to be purged from the earth. Then they all shamelessly lurk the site constantly so they can be told what to think about something.
 
Yes. He mentioned my name, and made it clear that it came from here without saying The Kiwi Farms, as this is 'The site who shall not be named'. He heavily cropped the original post, which cut out my avatar and name, but he had to because the first half of the post was VERY inappropriate for YouTube. Leaving it would have resulted in him getting the video demonitized, and he likely would have also received a strike or would have been reported by someone. I would have prefered if he just pretended it was his idea the whole time. I'm just here to send and receive honest and uncensored thoughts and ideas - oh, AND OF COURSE to shitpost and check out some funny photo edits. I don't understand the desire for social media fame for having their faces and entire lives COMPLETELY entangled in Gorl World.

I personally find it quite amusing. Everyone is SO QUICK to jump on the bandwagon for The Kiwi Farms to be deleted from the internet, and to declare ALL of the account holders as evil, fatphobic, homophobic, racist, transphobic, sociopathic losers who need to be purged from the earth. Then they all shamelessly lurk the site constantly so they can be told what to think about something.
Don't call out Omegon like that!
 
Ah, I really hope Jade is some sort of pleasant comfort for Twink, Wasabi and Rarity. She's a shady fucker but Wasabi seems far calmer being held by her than being in the presence of HippoLynn.
It might be as simple as a size differential, because the pets seemed happier with Becky too…

Like what would be more intimidating to you, as a small house pet, something 10x your size (Jade, Becky) or something 50x your size (Amberlynn)?
 
No givum clicks - watch archive instead.

Dunno when I'll get to reeeecapping - am playing video games and they're more important than AL.

 
...I know I do these late but I want to give Boolean and Diet Coke the chance to go first since they the OGs. Then I time it for work so I get paid for this crap...
Oh, I'm no OG; I'm just a newfag. You've got seniority on me. And even if you didn't, I'm cool with getting tagged out. Although working out a way to get paid for reeecapping Amber without having to get involved with Gorl World is genius!

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Lowlight Reel with Commentary. Today is Vlogmas Day 16, or December 15th in the Amberverse. Amber admits that her weight gain is her fault... then starts giving excuses about mentulz and lipedema... then circles back to it being her fault again. She's also clearly upset about people showing their bias against her in reaction channel videos she totally doesn't watch. Other than the weight gain segment, Amber is still obnoxious and insufferable during the vlog. This isn't content; this is CUNTENT.

Amber has to ask Jade what Vlogmas Day it is, because apparently today is Jade's turn to scull the single brain they share.

READING UPDATE! Amber read 15 pages of the Someone's Story book, and has no idea what it's about.

Amber's never taken a picture with this camera, and she's owned it for like, 4 years! Amber's mind would be BLOWN to discover that her 'videos' are technically tens (or even hundreds) of THOUSANDS of photographs displayed in rapid succession.

PO BOX PRESENTS!! Morons who watch her on YouTube are spending their hard-earned money to send this grifter cards and gifts. Amber admits that's she's gotten some... um... questionable items, and now I REALLY wish she'd do this live instead of in the controlled setting of a pre-recorded video. I will say that at least she's showing this and her (fake) appreciation for her fans. Everyone's sending her Wasabi ordamints, except for one who sent her eccentric earings.

[Narrator: By sponsoring a deathfat, you will ensure that they not only receive ample nutrition and financial opportunties to furthering their education that they will ignore, but you will also allow them to conserve their own financial resources for use on essentials like LEGO, Mini Brands, and decor items with their purpose clearly labelled on them]

OH SHIT! Wasaboo FINALLY makes an appearance for head scratches and attention, and gets nose-bonked out of the way by the Chonky-Twonk (who probably thought Amber was giving out treats). And then she does it again! Poor Wasabi! No wonder he hides.

Jade's present is a gray 'Teddy Fresh' hat... from H3's wife's product line. This is significant because Jade watches Amber listen to H3's podcast - which sounds hella-weird to me.

Amber likes the chocolate milk protein shake, because it tastes like chocolate milk. Later, Amber eats meatballs, rice, and broccoli Jade made for her. "This broccoli is SO GOOD". Yeah... No. If you found broccoli so good, you'd actually EAT broccoli (at least more than a tiny, carefully measured portion)

JUMP CUT TO SHOPPING AND THEN SHOPPING HAUL! Amber needs to get gingerbread houses, because apparently the 32 ugly sweater cookies weren't enough. Amber then does a haul of the houses and many decorations for the houses. Amber's gingerbread house is prebuilt because of course it is. The gingerbread house building will be in another video (to stretch out the cuntent). Amber complained about the bias her audience showed against her in videos from reaction channels that Amber totally doesn't watch.

At least Amber flat-out admits that "this is a fucking daycare". Is she becomming self-aware? Nah, I'm sure it was mentioned in one of the videos she didn't watch.

"I've gained weight because of me". Thanks, Captain Obvious. She claims she's been binging every night at 2am - which I'm convinced is why she won't fix her sleep schedule. It's so much easier to eat all the snacky-poos in peace when no one's awake to see it and suggest that you stop. Amber said "If I gain weight it's because of me, and if I lose weight it's because of me", which is half true. Every time she's lost weight, it's been because someone else was controlling the food. Whether that was Krystal's parents securing the food, or Becky being too zombified to drive her to multiple restaurants every day. Don't worry though, the gaining is still her fault. Amber doesn't want to talk about Jade being an enabler.

They have a book where they write down love notes for each other and include their weights for the other to see [OMG that's weird - WTF is wrong with these two?!?] 521.4lbs.

Amber colours the cardboard playhouse. Jade helps. Why does Jade seem to be wearing no pants? Amber's acting like this is serious work - though I'm writing about this, so I guess I shouldn't throw stones from inside my glass house. Rarity gets loopy from a mild catnip overdose.

Comment of the day asks for the name of the panda suit sweater thing she got Jade, so Amber showed the listing. It cost $42.99 on Amazon.com.

TL;DR: 521.4lbs. Amber admits the weight gain is her fault to get sympathy points. Amber unboxes gifts from her fans. The Chonky-Twonk turns a rare moment of Wasabi trying to get attention into WWE Smackdown. Jade gets a gray 'Teddy Fresh' hat. Amber eats.
 
Boolean Bitch sayeth:

They have a book where they write down love notes for each other and include their weights for the other to see [OMG that's weird - WTF is wrong with these two?!?] 521.4lbs.

Christ, that's moronic. It's giving me vibes like in 2012, when the most romantic, specialest thing you could do as a young couple was share your passwords. It was great for showing your love! Until a break-up, in which college kids found all their classes dropped and there was nothing IT could do.

Babeh, I love you so much! Here's how gigantically fat I am! Just for you! Until now, when I announce to the world!
 
25 pound weight gain in a month in a half. Sadly, I don’t even think that’s a record for her.

Yeah, she really needs to stop Twinkie from doing that. Immediately petting her and saying “stahp it” in a sing-songy voice is just positive reinforcement. Granted, I’ve never had dogs with cats, but I know that could end up in a fight if it was two dogs.
 
she cried cus she's fat so since she was one. "I let myself own" gorl you have never once held yourself accountable. She is heavier than 521.4 tbh she does not even stand on a proper scale.

This is so dumb, she is going to go down this virtue path claiming she is an addict, I can feel it. Yet she chooses thumbnails etc that exploit that especially but Youtube chooses them right?!

bitch is spinning wheels currently
 
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