🍗 Deathfat Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

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Slappy McGherkin said:
Since when is fucking Panera considered "diet food?" Compared to what, exactly?

Gross bitch is grossly gross.
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I know a lot of stupid bitches who think panera is healthy. I mean I guess if you're comparing to mcdonalds or something yeah it'd be the better option?
 
Slappy McGherkin said:
Since when is fucking Panera considered "diet food?" Compared to what, exactly?
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More like over priced hospital food. I guess to her since it isn't deep fried in 5 pounds of grease it's "healthy". She could at least gets a salad or something if she wants to claim she is eating there because it's healthy. Even then their salads are overloaded with all kinds of stuff that raises the calorie counts.
 
I knew when she said she was stopping takeout, that when she started again she was going to do Panera or that Chik fil la wrap she always gets to justify fast food. I noticed when she opened her freezer it was overflowed with Trader Joe’s still so it just proves that she just like fucking shopping and hoarding shit.
 
inquizadoor said:
-her happiness and her depression are fighting each other (everyone has two wolves inside them....)
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Shes got everything shes said she wanted in wipey. A big strong not man, man to come and save her. To marry her one day. To give her structure and be the not man, man she wants in her life. By all accounts she should be happy and capable of reaching her goals. Shes got a girl who supports her like nobody ever did before, a car, nice place, a chance to work on herself and her career and really turn things around.

Shes miserable because being depressed and anxious and uwu is a personality trait for her. A large chunk of who amberlyn is, is a depressed girl just trying to get help. She would rather stay mentally 14 to 21 years old and helpless than mature as a person and get past things that make her sad.

inquizadoor said:
-this was fucking stupid
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I agree completely
 
I honestly can't wait until the truth about Hamber's new handler is revealed. This isn't an intimate relationship, that much is clear and it's embarrassing that she insists on pretending that it is. I'm an optimistic autist so I initially thought that maybe Jade was a 'kind troll' with good intentions who believed she could get close to Amber and encourage change but this doesn't seem very likely anymore. I know there's a lot of speculation that she's a feeder but I don't really see it. What feeder is giving their feedee decently balanced meals and smoothies?

My new theory is that Jade is a 'fan' who has been employed as official asswiper with the added role of pretend girlfriend for the optics. I don't know what this type of work pays in Kentucky but I made decent money wiping asses once upon a time and clients like Amber (morbidly obese, lazy, retarded) usually have live-in staff or a 24/7 team on rotation and those positions tend to pay more (does the Ham offer competitive wages?) Sounds like the perfect gig for a student - room and board, access to a vehicle, free food, and a little extra spending cash to buy more Jordans. Why the hell not, right?

It's almost a shame that Amber is too stupid to realize that losing weight would actually be the greatest thing for her channel. Lucky for us, she'll never change and we can forever laugh at how delusional and hopeless she is.
 
FupaCitySheriff said:
Sorry for the double post, but just had a quick look at Fatty's comments on YT and it looks like she has replied to one using a sock account. Did a bit of detectiveness and the channel has no content, but joined YT on December 7, 2014.

Edited as I didn't have my glasses on and I misread the channel name.
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Might just be a troll or she went on a spree of comments with the sock:
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This for Amber is incredibly low effort, she is clearly this sock account and not hiding it because she knows some reactors will make content about it. That's just fucking sad. As for Jade I am still convinced she is a feeder, why? Even though female feeders are incredibly rare, they can happen I think because feeding is naturally incredibly sadist I think women operate differently when doing it.

My theory is that female killers tend to make it a crime of passion so slow, sadism works the same for women slow, lulls the person into a false sense of security then springs the trap. Working slowly is not unusual for male feeders either a lot in my research seem to have that M/O of slowly getting them into it and then they realize they are trapped. It's a series of love bombing too. I'll happily concede though because it is a very unusual scenario because female feeders are like shiny pokemon.

I don't think Twinkie is long for this world though she is looking not well though and very old. She is about 12 - 14 now and while that is somewhat young for chi chis, they can live easily into their 20s. Twinkie's morbidly obese for a dog her size which has a massive effect on her. How long has it been since we have seen Wasabi? Like 3 months.
 
Chaotic Pizzaparty said:
As for Jade I am still convinced she is a feeder, why? Even though female feeders are incredibly rare, they can happen I think because feeding is naturally incredibly sadist I think women operate differently when doing it.

My theory is that female killers tend to make it a crime of passion so slow, sadism works the same for women slow, lulls the person into a false sense of security then springs the trap. Working slowly is not unusual for male feeders either a lot in my research seem to have that M/O of slowly getting them into it and then they realize they are trapped. It's a series of love bombing too.
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I can't put my finger on it, but something off about Jade just doesn't sit right. There's something about her that wasn't there with either Destiny nor Becky and it's something gross, I think you may be onto something.
It's also strange she's so against being on camera, especially when we all know and have known who she is. She also knew what she was signing up for, she knew of Amber long before she reached out and was well aware of her antics, so I dunno. Something is weird tho, that's for sure.
 
Owlflaps said:
I hate her shriek cackling. Bitch, you're 31, not 12.
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Even at 12 if I heard that cackling I’d slap that kid out. Bad habits are hard to break. It’s not a age thing as much as a insufferable cunt attention whore thing.
 
beansoup said:
I can't put my finger on it, but something off about Jade just doesn't sit right. There's something about her that wasn't there with either Destiny nor Becky and it's something gross, I think you may be onto something.
It's also strange she's so against being on camera, especially when we all know and have known who she is. She also knew what she was signing up for, she knew of Amber long before she reached out and was well aware of her antics, so I dunno. Something is weird tho, that's for sure.
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ive been meaning to say something like this good post. There is something legit creepy about her beyond just trying to hide her idenity. The way she just silently gropes Big Al on camera, the way she moves around her and talks at her form other rooms. It's just unsettling somehow. Really hard to pin down her end game, but it's deffinelty something for her personal gain (wether finanical, sexual, etc), and not any actual care for Al.
 
kebab4you said:
Might just be a troll or she went on a spree of comments with the sock:
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That's a troll. If it were Big Ham, she'd run away (metaphorically) once caught.



RECAP. Not that there's much to recap, but as well all know, I always have things to say.

The latest nontent is even more non than the last.

"huge spring cleaning && my takeout challenge update"


Even before I start watching this bullshit, I know that the cleaning thing is not only not her doing any cleaning, but is also not as huge as she thinks. I also know, like everyone else in the universe, that she failed the takeout challenge, because that's what she does. She does several things consistently: eat, spend frivolously, play the victim, and fail.

The thumbnail: sucks, as usual. Even feeders want you to be looking at them, Fatty, not yourself. How are you going into your ninth year on YouTube that you don't know these very basic things? Alternate question: why are you so fucking lazy about doing your job?

Oh, FFS. Today is a "mental health day"? You're not feeling well? When is a day not a "muh mentals" day for you? When are you feeling well, given that you lay your 500+ approaching 600 pound fat shelf ass around all goddamned day and don't do jack shit above the minimum? You don't exercise, even though you should. You don't work on your sole source of income with any dedication and planning, even though you should. You don't read or pursue anything of anything intellectual value, even though you should. Fuck outta here. There are people in this world who have none of the luxuries you do and are working two or three jobs and who are barely making it in this world, EmpathLynn.

Listen up, you fat twat, as you ramble on about nothing: that vocal fry thing you've picked up just makes you sound even lazier, like you can't even have the fucking courtesy to squeeze more air out of your fucking lungs and through your larynx to even pretend you want to be talking to your audience. If we had not heard how you can speak or screech or cackle, I might think it's that your fatness has so invaded your thoracic cavity that it's now suffocating you while you're sitting up, in addition to when you lie down. But you are not that far gone - YET -so speak like a normal fucking human being instead of playtending this is how you speak. It's fucking annoying.

The "gf" brings her tacos in bed, because nothing screams "caring and supportive" like enabling shitty behavior with shitty food. She says they also had tacos last night, just with ground chicken instead of what she thinks is chicken tenderloins, and I just have to say that maybe, just maybe, you ought to start fucking paying attention to how your food is made. We know you're not going to lose any weight, but it'd be nice to know exactly what you're eating, since that would at least be more interesting than "I don't even know", another goddamned lazy behavior you lean on far too much.

Hasn't showered, but duh, we could guess that. Claims she usually showers right after she gets up. Sure, Hamber.

Takes down almost half the first taco, pretends to drop the camera, squeals, picks it back up again just so we can all see the shit she's spilled on her chest and that's hanging out of her mouth. You might as well tag this video with #feeder. She says "AuthenticLynn!" You are many things, Big Hamber, but "authentic" is not one of them.

Says she had a "burst of energy" so decided to do a couple of up and down sets on the stairs, then make three circuits around the apartment, doing whatever exercises are at each station, and follow that up with a post-workout drink with aminos, electrolytes, and creatine, with a high protein, low carb shake after that.

Lulz. I'm kidding.

Nope, she decides to...clean out the fucking cabinets around the apartment. But first, a word from our sponsor: Slushee!

Are you as obsessed with Slushees as Big Hamber is? Well, friend, you are in luck, because Big Al is here to tell you how to get that Sonic Slushee feeling in the comfort of your own home!

Says she's found a "zero calorie hack"! OMG, guise, this could be the HUGE part of the title, fuck that cleaning crap. Who wants to do that instead of trying to trick yourself that you are not limiting and eliminating things on that diet you're pretending to do?

"This probably isn't even a hack...." You got that right.

"But trust me." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

No,

Tells us to get a bottle of water, and a "water enhancer", AKA a small squirt tube of artificial flavoring. Claims this is the "best recipe evaaarr." No. No, it is not. THIS is the "best recipe evaaarr."

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OMG, maybe I'm wrong and this IS the best recipe eavaaarr she's giving! Guise, you squirt some of that water enhancer INTO the water! The you put the lid on the bottle and (obviously) shake it! And then you put it in the freezer! Fucking brilliant!

Oh. Well, no. This whole revolutionary recipe is for.......ice. Congratulations, Big Ham. You've just made ice. Soft ice, for that Slushee consistency. Way to go, Big Al, with the bare minimum nontent on your channel.

She opens the freezer to get the bottle out and goddamn, what the hell in that freezer? Stuffed full with prepackaged, premade shit from the Trader Joe's trip. Here's a novel idea: how about you clean out your shitty food box - aka your fridge and freezer -and restock with actual food, as it was intended to be used?

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Nice ratio, by the way. Yes, things are certainly looking up in the Amberverse.

She retrieves the faux slushee, congratulates herself for making ice.

The kitchen is a fucking wreck. There's only two of you. Why the fuck is your sink overflowing with dirty dishes?

Admonishes us to do our spring cleaning. My spring cleaning is exactly like my cleaning the rest of the year because I'm not a fucking dirty fat pig who lets crap build up in my house until I have to reserve an entire day dedicated solely to cleaning up one particular fucking thing, unlike some people I could name.

She shows the vast hoard of cleaning and other products, talks specifically about fake vampire blood and declares SHE would never use that; it must be Becky's. I mean, just imagine someone even thinking that Big Ham would be involved in anything involving fake vampire blood. How could they ever connect you to such a thing?

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Becky has left a number of things there, which is "weird" according to Big Ham, but not weird to any person with the ability to use their brain and apply critical thinking to understand that when you live with someone for four years and the two of you just buy new cleaning products without checking your jammed up cabinets to see if you have whatever you're buying again, that you're going to wind up buying the same or similar shit a second (third, fourth) time.

Claims she cleaned up all that shit she mounded on the kitchen counters. And a question here: other than as part of this shitty vlog, wtf is the purpose of this? Why not just clean it in the room the shit lives in instead of toting all that crap twice? Oh, right: there's nothing else going on in your pathetic fucking life because YOU DON'T DO ANYTHING.

Claims that people have complimented here on the apartment being cleaned and I call bullshit on that. Nobody believes she cleans anything there. Says she is "messily organized" and I am here to tell you, Fatty, that this is not a thing. GrammarLynn then tells us that in addition, she is also "cleanly organized", which she pronounces as KLEN-lee. It's like as a bonus to the fat she packs into her head, she also packs extra stupid.

Admits to failing the no takeout challenge (duh, we knew) and claims to have lasted four whole days. Sure you did. Claims to have only ordered takeout since then twice (almost assuredly a lie) and it was "for a good reason" (no it wasn't). Yadda yadda, denying herself fast food makes her want to BINGE, just like viewers told her! They are wrong and dumb and so are you. You do not have BED. There isn't anything that "triggers" you. You're just a lazy fat glutton who wants to eat whatever you want, whenever you want, and in whatever quantity you want. The things you don't want are accountability. Responsibility. Discipline. Consequences. Those things wouldn't feed your victim complex, would they.

Ends with her fishing for sympathy (with bonus extra shitty vocal fry that she's picked up from who the fuck knows) because her "depression and happiness" are battling or something equally stupid. "Depression is chemical, happiness comes from the heart!" What? Happiness is also a chemical, you idiot. WTF do you think dopamine and others are, exactly? Offhand says that's a topic for her imaginary psychologist, which means she'll once again have her fat shelf ass planted on the couch, "researching" more psych shit to try and convince everyone she's going to therapy.

TL;DW/R: whines about "muh mentals" to both begin and end the video. Eats tacos in bed for the feeders. "Cleans" by pulling shit out from sink cabinets. Yet another notch in the F column, as she quit the no takeout challenge. Pads it out enough at the front and the back to make it slightly over eight minutes to get those midrolls.

Yet another day of nontent in the Amberverse.
 
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i was just about to comment on amber claiming she's never used vampire blood and has NO IDEA why it would be around. the exaggerated disgust in her voice and saying that it MUST be becky's in that classic ALR condescending tone just really puts the cherry on top.
 
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