🍗 Deathfat Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

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Hamber needs some fucking Jesus. Not that she'd know what that means other than "Dinnit he have huge feasts and mukbangs?"

No, Hamber. It's Good Friday, the day the rock was rolled in front of the cave. He'll be back on Sunday while you YouTube eating a bunch of Cadbury eggs, Peeps, and chocolate Easter Bunnies because it's Easter and the only fucking thing you know how to do is stuff your fat fucking face in the name of making a totally disgusting dollar.

Please Jesus, hit her with a blinding light like St.Paul.

Yeah, I know. Theology is lost art these days. Gluttonous pigs 🐖 know nothing and would just as soon eat you.

But Hamber would produce a shit ton of human bacon 🥓.

Perish the thought!
 
(About doing a no takeout challenge, and by extension, denying herself other things)

"If I tell myself ALR, you can't have that, it makes me want it even more."

This is a child's argument. Rather fitting, when you think about it, given that she's a giant, 600 pound toddler. In the adult world, this is shit reasoning to give in and have Uber Eats bring tacos with a side of sandwich and a tray of sushi.

More merch:
"Messily Organized"
"Ask me how to make ice!"

Speaking of merch, Apathetic Faxx put up merch, and what's one of the things they have? Shirts and hoodies with "Hello, It's Ready" on the front and "Goodbye" on the back.

Excellent. All you reactioneers should be plundering my list of merch stuff some pages back. Someone ought to be using them. Nobody can trademark any of that stuff; it's too general, or just common words ("Goodbye"). So, you're fine to use any of it.
 
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beansoup said:
I can't put my finger on it, but something off about Jade just doesn't sit right. There's something about her that wasn't there with either Destiny nor Becky and it's something gross, I think you may be onto something.
It's also strange she's so against being on camera, especially when we all know and have known who she is. She also knew what she was signing up for, she knew of Amber long before she reached out and was well aware of her antics, so I dunno. Something is weird tho, that's for sure.
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to be fair, i can understand why she doesn't want to be on camera. jade has witnessed how others of the amberverse are (brutally) ridiculed for their looks and is probably just avoiding that.
 
Nice going Jade, you fucking nigger. Caving in to the binge monster just like Dusty and Becky; it was a great moment seeing her blubber and force down that plain white rice with those dry ass chicken meatballs but now Hambie is back to her giggle-pig self all happy and satisfied to be getting those dorito tacos and other shit again. Can't wait til this fat cunt ends up broke and Jade monkeys off to another grift because lord knows she's the most boring character of this series, floating around all silent-like some fucking Dementor.
 
What kind of laheen MathmaticianLynn fuckery is this?

If you actually counted your weight lost honestly, and you'd really lost 74.? elbees so far on your "journee," and you're now at 498.whatever...

...that's would be 498.something elbees + 74.ish elbees...which would put your "starting weight" at 574 elbees, E = mc²Lynn.

Did you just count every elbee you've lost, starting when? But none in that same time you've gained?

No one...NO ONE counts their weight loss like this: Lose a few pounds -- count that -- gain 2.9 elbees back, DON'T count those -- and then lose 0.4 or whatnot, count that...up and down and up and...

NO ONE counts weight loss that way. You haven't really "lost" 74.anythings.

If your highest weight to date is from last Wednesday when you were at 507.4...

...and today you're at 498.6...

...in TOTAL you've lost only 8.8 elbees from your highest weight of 507.4, Lyin'Lynn.

THAT is how you count your entire weight loss journee:

Highest Weight (507.4 - or whatever it is)​
-minus-​
Today's Weight (498.6)​
TOTAL = 8.8 fucking elbees.​

And, what's this about you're now "26.2 elbees from losing 100 elbees?"

So lemme get this straight: If, going forward using your "calculations," you now gained 5 pounds every even day, and lost only 1 pound every odd day, when you've "lost" those 26.2 elbees you'd say (using DelusionaLynn math) "I've lost the whole 100 elbees!"...but you'd weigh in at around...600.point (blank period) fat elbees?

Supa Poop-BunBerLynn.jpg
"Whut? I don't understand whut you're sayeen."

I can't...arrgh...just gimme my MATI.png
MATI.png
MATI.png
 
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Ben Lurkin' said:
What kind of laheen MathmaticianLynn fuckery is this?

If you actually counted your weight lost honestly, and you'd really lost 74.? elbees so far on your "journee," and you're now at 498.whatever...

...that's would be 498.something elbees + 74.ish elbees...which would put your "starting weight" at 574 elbees, E = mc²Lynn.

Did you just count every elbee you've lost, starting when? But none in that same time you've gained?

No one...NO ONE counts their weight loss like this: Lose a few pounds -- count that -- gain 2.9 elbees back, DON'T count those -- and then lose 0.4 or whatnot, count that...up and down and up and...

NO ONE counts weight loss that way. You haven't really "lost" 74.anythings.

If your highest weight to date is from last Wednesday when you were at 507.4...

...and today you're at 498.6...

...in TOTAL you've lost only 8.8 elbees from your highest weight of 507.4, Lyin'Lynn.

THAT is how you count your entire weight loss journee:

Highest Weight (507.4 - or whatever it is)​
-minus-​
Today's Weight (498.6)​
TOTAL = 8.8 fucking elbees.​

And, what's this about you're now "26.2 elbees from losing 100 elbees?"

So lemme get this straight: If, going forward using your "calculations," you now gain 2 pounds every even day, and lose 1 pound every odd day, when you've "lost" 100 pounds you (using DelusionaLynn math) could weigh in at around...600.point (blank period) fat elbees?

View attachment 3184739
"Whut? I don't understand whut you're sayeen."

I can't...arrgh...just gimme my View attachment 3184822View attachment 3184822View attachment 3184822
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She was at 580 last year, she's saying if she gets to 480 she'll have lost 100 pounds.
 
lol cow supreme said:
She was at 580 last year, she's saying if she gets to 480 she'll have lost 100 pounds.
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Thanks @lol cow supreme. That makes a lot more sense.

After her hiatus, this episode, she began her re-cap with that 507.4 number. For some reason I thought she'd started a new weight journey because when she hit 500 pounds she stopped weighing in for a while.

I guess I thought when you come back and start weigh-ins again, you'd choose your most recent high weight (the one she mentioned at 507.4) and was counting that as her new starting weight and...was counting from there.

I appreciate your correcting my data points, @lol cow supreme, I didn't mean to mislead anyone and am happy you came with the trufax. I wasn't paying attention to Amber for quite a while and missed the 600 pound arc.

Yo-yo weight gain that goes up-and-down (at least once a week) is pretty much how she keeps gaining over time.

Due to all these years of yo-yo dieteen, I think I'm suffering from AWED: Amber Whiplash Eateen Disorder.

'Scuse me while I drink some water, and then go outside to touch grass...
 
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Ben Lurkin' said:
What kind of laheen MathmaticianLynn fuckery is this?

If you actually counted your weight lost honestly, and you'd really lost 74.? elbees so far on your "journee," and you're now at 498.whatever...

...that's would be 498.something elbees + 74.ish elbees...which would put your "starting weight" at 574 elbees, E = mc²Lynn.

Did you just count every elbee you've lost, starting when? But none in that same time you've gained?

No one...NO ONE counts their weight loss like this: Lose a few pounds -- count that -- gain 2.9 elbees back, DON'T count those -- and then lose 0.4 or whatnot, count that...up and down and up and...

NO ONE counts weight loss that way. You haven't really "lost" 74.anythings.

If your highest weight to date is from last Wednesday when you were at 507.4...

...and today you're at 498.6...

...in TOTAL you've lost only 8.8 elbees from your highest weight of 507.4, Lyin'Lynn.

THAT is how you count your entire weight loss journee:

Highest Weight (507.4 - or whatever it is)​
-minus-​
Today's Weight (498.6)​
TOTAL = 8.8 fucking elbees.​

And, what's this about you're now "26.2 elbees from losing 100 elbees?"

So lemme get this straight: If, going forward using your "calculations," you now gained 5 pounds every even day, and lost only 1 pound every odd day, when you've "lost" those 26.2 elbees you'd say (using DelusionaLynn math) "I've lost the whole 100 elbees!"...but you'd weigh in at around...600.point (blank period) fat elbees?

View attachment 3184739
"Whut? I don't understand whut you're sayeen."

I can't...arrgh...just gimme myView attachment 3184822View attachment 3184822View attachment 3184822
Click to expand...
She does it with money too. When she stated she had made a million dollars in one of her most pathetic flexes to date without considering that she has counted money she has already spent over the course of a decade.
 
She still insists her highest weight was 572.4, but that is utterly unbelievable to anyone with eyes and the ability to see her videos from 2019. She's also a pathological liar.


Jacque le Cock said:
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What the fuck would she even put on it? She can barely manage to put out content on her main channel and none of it is worth watching.
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Hang on there, hoss. This is Big Ham. More is better, to her. Why have just one channel for your nontent when you can have two channels for nontent.

Edit: this reminded me of something relates to her work ethic/effort. Now I just have to find it.
 
Jacque le Cock said:
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What could she POSSIBLY do on a second channel? She cant even keep one channel up to date with content! I half hope she does create a second channel and can see how FEW subscribers she really would have as YouTube never "trims" out the dead sub count. It would shatter her ego. A second channel is not going to suddenly save your dying brand Hamberlynn

Why wouldn't you just put your content on your already monetized channel? The only thing i can think of that would be so drastically different from her current channel that needs a second channel is if she started actually LOSING weight on the second channel.
 
Jacque le Cock said:
View attachment 3185112
What the fuck would she even put on it? She can barely manage to put out content on her main channel and none of it is worth watching.
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if fat-ass ever makes a second channel, how much do you wanna bet that it's going to be dedicated to mukbangs? hamber loves shoveling food into her face to appease the feeders who continue to fund her boring, apartment-bound lifestyle.
 
Jacque le Cock said:
What the fuck would she even put on it? She can barely manage to put out content on her main channel and none of it is worth watching.
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We all know our gorl. She's only thinking of starting a second channel because a lot of Youtubers have multiple channels. If she does (press x for doubt), it's going to follow the cycle we all know and love - she'll post a handful of videos, then nothing, then post somewhere on social media that it's too much for her because mentuls/she's "so busy"/the haters
 
Agoodpotroast said:
We all know our gorl. She's only thinking of starting a second channel because a lot of Youtubers have multiple channels. If she does (press x for doubt), it's going to follow the cycle we all know and love - she'll post a handful of videos, then nothing, then post somewhere on social media that it's too much for her because mentuls/she's "so busy"/the haters
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Most YTer's second channels are made not to interfere with their main channel. In general, it is more or less a channel IRL when thair main channel is dedicated to travel, fashion, hobbies, etc. Her problem is that she never grew her main channel, so she has nothing to present for a second channel. I agree that she will think about it and then find it too difficult. Everything she thinks of doing is aspirational and is never done, like her weight loss, her book of poems, her novel, her travelling, etc.
 
Give me all the clocks you want, I will adjust them all to daylight savings time twice a year by hand, but hear me out:

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Seeing the underwear drawer, and naked shoulders in the shower molments, I'm certain we going to get an onlyfans soon enough. I wonder if it might include wifey's hand going to town on Amber.
 
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