She knows that Ozzy is British and not Portuguese right?
Lulz. What are the odds of that?
Her gorlfriend has drawn Fatty a ring but the sizing looks a bit off... OH MA GAH.
Yeah, WTF is the "gf's" problem? Does she not know that Big LiarHam is a size 9?
Vlogging her life. 'Some parts remain personal for now'. So still employing her narc tactics. Keep watching and I might... NOTHING TO SEE HEAR.
We all knew it could get even more boring and pointless. That inevitability has arrived.
LEAVE YOUR FUCKING STY AND GO OUTSIDE YOU FUCKING HOG
I have more respect for the hogs covering themselves in mud to stay cool.** At least they have a plan.
View attachment 3172226
"Got some skittles freezer pop. i love freezer pops because they're so low calories" (stares down at nutrition facts)
Guessing she didnt do that at dollar store dumbfatfucklynn
EDIT: including nutrition facts
View attachment 3172242
woW AT A LOW LOW 160 CALORIES WITH ALL THE SUGAR- FREEZY CANDY BABYYY
Yummy. Sugar water in various colors. Just eat the candy, Hamber, Or make some Kool-Aid.
** Fun fact for those of you who may not know: pigs cannot sweat. That's why they happily wallow in muddy water, to keep cool (and also to prevent sunburn). The more you know.
Recap of this piece of shit vlog.
Terrible thumbnail, person who is in their ninth year of making content.
Opens with her - what else? - eating. One slice of toast with grape jelly and two unnatural disks of hashbrowns that are made from collee-flower. Why? That makes gnocchi and now hashbrowns made from collee-flower and all I have to say is BUY THE FUCKING POTATO VERSIONS. JFC.
Anyhow, she takes a bite of the toast, and is clearly not happy with it. She then takes a bite of the non-hashbrowns and is equally unhappy, to the point where she says she doesn't think she likes them. Puts some Tapatio on a bite, declares it better. You should have used some of that ranch from your fridge. Says she will finish this later, and goes to a new clip. No you won't Big Ham. You'll order some food. She gives a gross/trigger warning.
The "gf" has a little pen camera, which Hamber takes to put in her ears. She manages to put about three centimeters of the probe in her ear, pulls it right back out before we an really see anything and does her fucking shrieking and CACKLING, which is not cute and not perky, you fucking overacting cunt. Stop it. Says if she were better at editing, she would film her reaction to jabbing the probe in her ears. If only there were a way to become better at something, especially by doing that something habitually. Amazingly, she is not a special dainty princess, and when she puts the probe back in, she sees earwax! In her ear! Remarkable.
Offers to shove it up her nose, but doesn't do it. Pity. I was looking forward to it.
We then go to WTWN, the Twinkie broadcast, already in progress. It's weigh-in time for the Twonk! The "gf" pits her on the scale and she clocks in at 12.4. Still fat. Come on, Big Ham. Stop feeding Twinkie shit she doesn't need, like treats. Have I ever mentioned that I despise that fucking high pitched baby voice Hamber uses when she talks at the animals? I despise it, plus the stupid accents she tries to throw in there. There's a little notebook on a bookcase or table or something near h scale. Hamber claims they weigh in daily - yet another thing the imaginary ED clinic said not to do - record it in that notebook, and write cutesy bullshit notes to one another.
A little herb windowsill pot with parsley, cilantro, and chives is up next so Big Ham can use her balloon hands to point at it. At least she doesn't say PARZ-lee any more. Shows us a squirt bottle they got from Amazon. Amazon?!? You were at the dollar store, why didn't you get it there?
Because she fidgets, did you guise know she fidgets? She's totally a fidgeter, y'all!, yesiree bob, a complete fidgeter! Got some glow in the dark putty to help her when she fidgets. Fucking child. When she drops it, that will be it for the putty.
Shows some kind of scratch art paper that's black, and you use a stick to draw on the paper, which reveals itself to be rainbow-colored (f course). The "gf" draws a diamond ring for Hamber, but clearly didn't catch Big Al's ring size when Big Al was insisting on a certain ring size for her dainty fingers. Big Ham says there's something satisfying about getting all the black off of it. That isn't a nice thing to do to your "gf", you know. Says something stupid about it being therapeutic, like when she's in a binging mood. Sure, Ham, sure. YOU DO NOT HAVE BED.
Outro: too lazy to do a proper outro. Instead, just puts up cards, with a terrible font choice (just like her pillow mountain merch!). She's vlogging without rules, guise, watch out! Vlogging her life (boring!) but of course some personal things are left out. Wants to thank everyone for their support, and she'll be back. To be continued. Swell. She didn't even make it to the eight minute mark, using those cards to stretch time.
TL;DW/R: Big Ham hates the breakfast her no-try, bare minimum "gf" made her. Twinkie is down weight. She got shit to occupy her short attention span. Not recommended.
