🍗 Deathfat Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

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she NEVER takes people’s advice because she thinks she knows everything about business. managing a terrible youtube channel with some of the worst content available isn’t the same thing as being an entrepreneur
I hope when Jade and Hammy break up I hope fat jade slaps Amber with a copyright strike lmao
 
Okay call me autistic but that's a shirt I would buy
i think if she leaned into the criticism and ridicule she gets she’d be far more successful and comfortable with herself, on top of just being honest about her weight loss journey being total bullshit.

honestly i’d respect and actually like her if she didn’t try so hard! i think the shirt idea is a great example of how fun her content could be if she is wasn’t so obsessed with her self image.
 
Can't tell if that merch is just trolling, lazy, or both. Good job, Albert.
Oh it's all trolling.
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i think if she leaned into the criticism and ridicule she gets she’d be far more successful and comfortable with herself, on top of just being honest about her weight loss journey being total bullshit.

honestly i’d respect and actually like her if she didn’t try so hard! i think the shirt idea is a great example of how fun her content could be if she is wasn’t so obsessed with her self image.
I don't think I'd LIKE her but she'd irritate me less if she didn't try so hard to be the manic pixie dream girl archetype that's fallen out of fashion years ago. She's that person who hangs in your friend group in high school who's very aware that no one else quite understands how they got integrated so they joke too much/laugh too hard/ pretend to like stuff because everyone else does/ buys everyone stuff.
 
Goddamn, you know...it's springtime here. I got shit - OUTDOOR SHIT, Fatty, maybe you should look into it - to do, and you just had to waddle into the fucking spotlight AGAIN just so people can mock you and where the fuck am I?

Allow me to offer some criticism before I bore the socks off everyone with my interminable replies.

"Merch moment" - would have been a perfect opportunity for "Merch molment". Duh.
"Pillow mountain" - stupid fucking choice of font, pillow size, and colors. You might think you're a refined, dainty princess, but your fucking pillows on pillow mountain were dingy, unwashed petri dishes of sweat, dead skin cells, and yeast. You should have made one color: off-white (since no body is going to offer that special color that mixes the previous items I've mentioned and the nasty, caked on makeup you were forever "forgetting" to take off.
"Dainty gorl" - about the only one that makes any fucking sense, but the people who are going to unironically buy your shit primarily are the fatties in the facebook group and the subreddits. But a yoga mat? If those bitches did yoga "on the daily" (hint hint) they wouldn't be fatties, would they? And nobody is paying 60 goddamned dollars plus shipping on a fucking yoga mat on teespring, JFC. Stick to clothing, drink bottles, mugs, bath items, and kitchen shit (handtowels, for instance, if they do them). Edit to add: and if you're going to try to sell a fucking yoga mat, you should also have a water bottle, as well as a bundle with them bo(l)th.

Things to consider: if teespring is like everywhere else, you can create your own art to slap on stiff with whatever text you want to go with it. Go to shutterstock and buy a membership so you can purchase stock art. Don't choose fonts where the intended text can't be fucking read.

"Hello, it's ready." - front
"Goodbye." - back

Think of any choice where you can say x or y or "bolth". Slap it on a shirt.
"It's a whole situation type deal."
"Suckalent" - also good with either stock art or line drawings.
"I got a dietician, y'all" - again, a nice double bacon cheeseburger stock art or line drawing
"Mook-bong" - any picture of a giant pile of food will do
"I know what works for me" - same
"Orange chicken" - with a literal orange chicken (cartoon images work great for this). The only people who would understand the reference are channel viewers or people who keep chickens. (Buff Orpington chickens are orange or tawny and have very even temperaments, FYI.)
"So good" - either alone or with a pile of food

You clearly suck at this merch thing, so steal shamelessly from other peoples' work.

You should have listened to people when they told you to make merch years ago, when your channel was at its acme, instead of barreling back to earth nosecone first. You could have maximized merch sales, especially when you had side characters to offer suggestions. You are not smart enough or creative enough to make good merch, just like you're incapable of carrying your channel yourself.



Do we even know if MoookBangLynn is still even enrolled or attending that outpatient program?

I doubt there is one, and if there is one, she already quit, because she knows better than everyone and listens to no one.

You spelled DoctorLynn, Medicine Woman wrong.


why are we entertaining the outpatient program as an actual thing that happened? of all of amber’s lies i feel like that one is the most transparent. she isn’t even trying to be sincere about it. if anything, it’s an excuse to binge and pig out on whatever, and she probably thought saying her diet is physician approved would make people less likely to question her (because she’s stupid). i’d venture to say that she’s trolling by obviously lying about it, but that would be giving her far too much credit. to even consider that as a possibility is making her out to be much smarter than what’s within her capabilities.

She hasn't mentioned it at all on her channel of late. If there is one, it's likely she's long gone.



the time to make merch was a few years ago, when her channel was thriving and she was being constantly shaded by eric and rickie. could you imagine if she made a t shirt that said NO ONE CARES on it? or if she sold orange chicken pins? but she’s so uncreative and lacks so much awareness that the only idea she’s struggled to force between the fat that rests in her skull is a pillow that says PILLOW MOUNTAIN. no fun design. no creativity. no humor.

Indeed. It's also why her writing sucks.

People told her to make it years ago and she didnt listen then.. shes a blubberheaded moron

She knows "what works for" her, shitlord.

she NEVER takes people’s advice because she thinks she knows everything about business. managing a terrible youtube channel with some of the worst content available isn’t the same thing as being an entrepreneur

You too, asshole.

LOL
 
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Why not start with Merch for Twinkie...everyone love s Twinks...a cute Rasberry Pink little Sweater that says "Floofpotato" or something cute on it =)
so many People have itty bitty little Dogs and spend big Bucks on Dog-clothes..
I always wonderd why our Manatee never had the Idea to become a Plus Size Model...that would be the only Thing she could work outside of
Youtube...O.o
 
"Twonk"
"Twinkie Storr"

The number of missed opportunities in the Amberverse is staggering.

Dammit, Edit Edit: thought of more
"I wore the wrong shoes" - on socks
"Uh, books is for for the brain" - notebook/journal/bookmarks an/or on a shirt with a pile of books, maybe with the phrase as titles
"This vlog is so raw you guys, FAWK" - or FUCK, if someone is feeling frisky
"You don't understand nutrition like I do" - a slight change from the original, but necessary so the person who sees it on a shirt understands it
"I'd rather be in Bora Bora" - with outline art of the country (that I bet Hamber can't find on a map, much like she can't find Russia, and probably doesn't know is not a country itself)
"It's just water weight"
"On the hunt for my escape goat"
"You're a LAH!"
"This beanbag's in a hurry"
"dispeckful"
"Here's some art I am sailing" -with any of Monet's sailboat series
 
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"DAILY vlogs are back?? & a weigh in!!" (Apr 9, 2022)


ETA: No actual weigh-in, just claims her weight is now 505.8 elbees.
Also, leaves up a "to be continued..." screen for 30 entire seconds just to get to that 8-minute mark for ads.
Truly a lazy gorl.
 
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Gorlic Bread found out some Copyright Stuff =)



The laziest person on YouTube didn't secure and trademark "dainty" or buy out the creator of the font for sole use or for use on physical products?

I am SHOCKED - SHOCKED, I say, at this turn of events.

I can see this merch thing is heading toward going down in flames just like her burgeoning earreen business did.
 
Just a reminder: This is not a place to shill your own merch, take that to Reddit or Facebook or anywhere else.
"DAILY vlogs are back?? & a weigh in!!" (Apr 9, 2022)

https://youtube.com/watch?v=eucAVX5_SnI
ETA: No actual weigh-in, just claims her weight is now 505.8 elbees.
Also, leaves up a "to be continued..." screen for 30 entire seconds just to get to that 8-minute mark for ads.
Truly a lazy gorl.
Archive:
 
She’s live; drunk and crying:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=yIkGgqxlbIY
Wanting that Guntal coin.
Ugh seriously, she's getting blasted on apple flavored whiskey??

EDIT: I don't drink so I don't have much of an idea of alcohol tolerance, but seriously, how much does this beached whale have to drink to be drunk? Cause if it's a lot for her size, she's totally acting like those middle school girls who sneak margaritas mix to school and get "super drunk"
 
Ah, the histrionic’s favorite catchphrase: IM SO DRUNK YOU GUISE!

Get lost Amber, you’re in your thirties. A little bit of apple whiskey is not going to propel you to Chantal’s level.
 
I literally fell asleep while she was showing the boring bullshit in her fridge, so I had to go back. Shows her fridge, then her freezer (crammed to the gills with prepackaged shit(. Then shows her stupid pantry. Then her cats and Twinkie, all of whom get treats. She managed to put a giant crack in the cat treat canister. She also reaches toward the camera to get the treats and her fucking upper arm takes up a full quarterof the frame. She got some books, including some poetry. Says she's going to be vlogging again - "no structure is the best structure", her vlogs will be "justme". Yeah, that is a problem, because you're a boring cunt. Claims she weighed in at 505.8. We have only her word to go on, so I don't believe it. She says she's going back to counting calories, with a cap at 1600 calories. Whatever.

Now she's live, been cryeeeen, because she's "depressed". I bet you are, given the "gf" sighting and pic leak. She's drinking as well, and she is definitely a red-faced drinker. The flush is also down her chest, too. Not a good look, Hamber. Oh, ffs, she says hickeys are a weird and confusing thing, and she likes having someone sucking on her fucking fat, but unfortunately it causes the hickey. Then have your fucking "gf" suck on skin that isn't visible, you goddamned retarded cunt. Does that stupid horse whinny laugh. Does that stupid clicking thing. She literally has nothing to talk about. Says she's hungry. You don't say. Maybe you should actually fucking listen to what people say and not go from 6K calories to 1600, retard. Oh, we're on to the self-pity bullshit. I'm noping out on this entitled fucking whale. You think you're a quirky little dainty queen, but all you are is a disgusting behemoth with nothing to offer this world.

She's live only to collect asspats and superchats. When people stop giving her money, she'll shut it down. Hopefully, someone will watch this shit and tell us nothing happens.
 
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If she is really putting down nearly a 750 of 80 proof whiskey that's pretty impressive hahaha
Count down to black out begins.

ETA Jade in the background does not sound impressed with her shenanigans :story:
 
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