We begin, as always, in the stank apartment, where if is isn't the aroma of festering, oozing lymphedema and the poorly wiped giant asscrack of Hamber's, it's all the candles and air fresheners and body soaps and perfumes trying to cover it. Tell me something stupid and lie to me, Fatty. And do it at 2x speed because your speaking is just as retardedly stupid and slow as everything else about you.
Those spider eyelashes are just as hideous now as when they appeared when MamaMeth blew into town to see if you were a goldmine, Big Ham. In fact, those combined with your overdone makeup and your hideous sense of couture make you look like trailer trash following teen fashion magazines that are decades out of vogue. So, on target there for you, anyway. MamaMeth must be thanking her lucky stars she went back to Okie and lives far away.
Oh, look, another hickey, shown prominently to the camera. Trailer trash again. No need to continually remind us just how immature you are, Big Al. Blah blah, today is the second appointment. Doesn't have an appointment with the dietician yet, something I bet she's thankful for, and "the doctor who is doing my bloodwork doesn't have an opening until April. That's far, far, away." Oh, you mean like the same "next month" that your March first appointment was from February? Do you not understand how time works?
She's "super freakin' anxious" and wants to get the appointment over with. Spoken like someone who doesn't really want to get invested in the program. It won't be long until we're not hearing about these appointments. People will ask about them, and she'll claim she's keeping that off YT. Eventually, when the questioning reaches a crescendo, she'll confess that she stopped going, because it "just wasn't working for me". She'll say this as she films a mook-bong where she eats an entire suckling pig.
Oh, FFS. Back to the goddamned ring size. NO ONE CARES you fat cunt. Your fingers are fat, like the rest of you. Some story about Becky selling them and only subscribers were interested in buying them or some other boring bullshit I didn't listen to, so she gave them back to Big Ham, who amusingly, calls them "gaudy". Both of them. I seem to recall you pointing these out to Becky, o Queen of Moderation who wasn't happy with one ring, but had to have two. This is filler bullshit. Time on this: almost two full minutes.
Is now back from the second appointment and is "loving it". Yeah, that won't last. Proceeds to throw every other previous therapist she's had under the bus because they were only "surface" level, which Hamber didn't like because we all know just how deep a person she is. Claims to love the "evidence" (i.e., deep) therapy - all of two appointments in, let's recall -says it's "here's your diagnosee [sic], let's work on that." Great, you tell them your "diagnosee", they tell it back to you, and I guess they'll just continue to tell you what you want to hear - that your childhood was shittier than anyone else's, in the history of the world, and you're so special (here's a cookie!) and you shouldn't feel badly when you constantly fail things, and when you fall off that bike, you should just get right back on and keep trying.
(Side note: this video remains a goldmine and in its entirety, sums up anything anyone needed to know about Big Al.)
Says she's just "shook to the core" - do they have a speech therapist over there, to help cure this fucking glomming on to words and phrases you have going on, WriterLynn? Says she should have done this sooner. Damn, if only anyone had ever suggested it prior to now!
Next appointment is in a few days, also now has a dietician appointment as well.
Pimps her cameo account. That bank account level must be setting off alarms in her pea-sized brain.
Some bullshit about some stupid book she remembers from her (traumatic) childhood. And she "finally found it!" Guess taking two seconds to google it before now was out of the question. Says not to judge her, but fuck that, I'm judging you, you lazy twat.
Wants to show us a meal she's been "obsessed with" (another word you should stop fucking using) lately, waddles over to pick up the groceries. Which are not unpacked, still in the grocery bags, and includes two bags of frozen corn. Good job, Fatty. Encourage that bacterial growth!
Is going to cook something with SPAM in it, with the cat walking all over the counter. Nasty. Less sodium SPAM, at that. She's making rice "from scratch" as she calls it. JFC, jasmine is a floral rice. Why must you fucking douse everything in the same four seasonings you always use? You should be rehabbing your fucking one taste bud while you work on your lard ass, Fatty.
Slices a can of SPAM, then cuts that into cubes. Throws it into a frying pan. Completely obliterates the "less sodium" SPAM by emptying a quarter jar of garlic salt on it. As usual, adds the only seasonings she knows, tops it off with sriacha and soy sauce (more sodium!). Adds corn, suggests it sounds weird and w should trust her. That ain't happening, LiarLynn. She's cutting the scallions, helpfully tells us you can put it in early in the cooking or late. Why, you're a regular Julia Child, ChefLynn.
Puts a blob of heavily overseasoned (and wrongly seasoned) rice on a plate. Scoops some of the SPAM monstrosity on that. Adds even more soy sauce and sriacha, then sesame seeds, then peanuts. Pronounces it delicious. Well, I guess we'll just call up the James Beard Foundation and tell them we know who should receive the award for this year. Says again we should trust her. Nope, not trusting someone who thinks overseasoned SPAM on top of overseasoned rice and then covered in two different textural items is haute cuisine.
Does some stupid stuff with her overly fragranced laundry soaps, and it cuts to the end where VOLynn tells us that like an idiot, or someone who hasn't been uploading videos for a decade, she "forgot" to end this, signs off, stupid outro.
TL;DW/DR: Big Ham is the queen of questionable and overly used scents in every aspect of her life.