🍗 Deathfat Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

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Tried watching the archive and it paused after about four minutes because my wifi dropped for a second. Didn't bother refreshing. I genuinely cannot even remember what she was talking about, my brain just filtered it as well as a Brita does with water.
 
mythical mother said:
This live is just more proof that she absolutely fucking hates YouTube but she has to keep doing it because she’s too stupid/lazy/starved for attention to do anything else.

The fact that she went live around noon wasn’t an accident. She knows that most of her audience was well into the work/school day and her overseas audience probably isn’t a huge percentage of her views anyway. She gave up the potential for a ton of pick-me super chats so that she could make the stream super short and avoid answering any new questions.

I am just waiting for the day when she finally goes broke and has a breakdown but let’s be real, it’s probably not gonna happen any time soon. Her audience is obsessed whether they admit it or not.
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She's played herself in terms of employment in more ways than that.

Potential employers will definitely Google her name and think twice when they see so many results come up.

Then if they click any video links, they'll see compilation after compilation of her being useless, lazy, dumb and nasty and will immediately go for another candidate.
 
They'll probably (hopefully) also come across the clips of her being a disrespectful, unhygienic creep at that care home she stunk out.

Bitch wouldn't even be wanted in retail.
 
Sorry guys I started reading Scottie for examples of Amberlynn being terrible at describing stuff, and I can't stop.
the best story in all of the united states.jpg
There's ninety one chapters of this, please send help.
 
@C3PBRO Stop. Stop immediately and put the.....thing wot you is reading on down immediately.

Because you are funny. And we need you. And it would be terrible. If you started writing like this. And Amber is fat. And we can't persuade any of the boys. To have sex with her. Which is amazing really. I'm stopping now. Because this is actually painful. Roses are red. Grass is green. Publishers await her oeuvre. With baited breath.


Eta: whatdefuck is a "well doctor?" Do doctors treat wells? What ailments could wells possibly suffer from and you absolute bastard, you have sucked me in now HEEEEEEEEEELP
 
Tiny Clanger said:
@C3PBRO Stop. Stop immediately and put the.....thing wot you is reading on down immediately.

Because you are funny. And we need you. And it would be terrible. If you started writing like this. And Amber is fat. And we can't persuade any of the boys. To have sex with her. Which is amazing really. I'm stopping now. Because this is actually painful. Roses are red. Grass is green. Publishers await her oeuvre. With baited breath.
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Sorry I just can't, old friend. I just found proof that she wrote this in the last four years and not when she was 17 like she tells everyone she did. Or maybe she did write it when she was 17 and this is some sort of twisted almanac of the Amberverse. Who knows what else I might find. Amber's other adopted brother. The journal with the free pen we saw that one time. Or Becky's ears.
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I totally forgot that Amber allegedly has a crush on Miley Cyrus. How funny that her pea brain thinks “Miley and Amber” long before her and Becky.

Im picturing her at the computer now. “Oh! I should mention Becky and me to make it look like we’re actually dating and not that she doesn’t just wipe my ass! *types “Becky and Lynn”* I’m so smart!”
 
Tiny Clanger said:
@C3PBRO

Eta: whatdefuck is a "well doctor?" Do doctors treat wells? What ailments could wells possibly suffer from and you absolute bastard, you have sucked me in now HEEEEEEEEEELP
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You know how the correct response for "How are you doing?" is "Well." instead of "Good."? Maybe this "writer" thought "Well Doctor" could replace "Good Doctor" ? But well is an adverb while good is an adjective and person is retarded but probably wanted to sound smart? I don't know man. I'm trying.
 
C3PBRO said:
Sorry I just can't, old friend. I just found proof that she wrote this in the last four years and not when she was 17 like she tells everyone she did. Or maybe she did write it when she was 17 and this is some sort of twisted almanac of the Amberverse. Who knows what else I might find. Amber's other adopted brother. The journal with the free pen we saw that one time. Or Becky's ears.
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She mentions H1N1 in the previous post you made. The world H1N1 Swine Flu epidemic was 2009/2010. The terminology wouldn't have been widely used by the public before it became a public health crisis.

It was very newsworthy at the time.
 
Mom_Is_A_Problem said:
You know how the correct response for "How are you doing?" is "Well." instead of "Good."? Maybe this "writer" thought "Well Doctor" could replace "Good Doctor" ? But well is an adverb while good is an adjective and person is exceptional but probably wanted to sound smart? I don't know man. I'm trying.
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I remember people on here trying to figure out her Twitter handle mustbepearls’s meaning and origin. The best theory involved the phrase “pearls before swine” if I remember correctly.

Amber does look like the sort to attempt to bend on phrases and the whatnot, only you have to have much more writing experience and raw talent to even do that semi well.
 
I love how this is all people she knows, and the first partnering is her and Miley. Bet Miley can't contain her lesbiotic self, she's oiling herself up for Amby as we speak!

She's included people that have only been around a few years, like Nena. Unless, of course, Krystle just happened to get together with the unusually-spelled Nena ten years later entirely by coincidence. Yes, that'll be it.


@C3PBRO at least we are now staring into the abyss together. As long as we don't split up we'll be fine (always works in slasher films, right. Right?)
 
Mom_Is_A_Problem said:
You know how the correct response for "How are you doing?" is "Well." instead of "Good."? Maybe this "writer" thought "Well Doctor" could replace "Good Doctor" ? But well is an adverb while good is an adjective and person is exceptional but probably wanted to sound smart? I don't know man. I'm trying.
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She does this a lot, actually.

It's a fun, if autistic, game to sit down and try to work out the thesaurus trail sometimes. Good --> Well is easy, but she'll start off with a word like... I don't know. "Shiny," say, and end up going Shiny --> Polished --> Cultured --> Sophisticated and end up describing the Christmas orrna-mints as "cosmopolitan" or some shit because she doesn't English super good.
 
C3PBRO said:
Sorry guys I started reading Scottie for examples of Amberlynn being terrible at describing stuff, and I can't stop.
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There's ninety one chapters of this, please send help.
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I may have to join y’all in hell and actually read this thing. Halloween is still a few days away, but close enough.

I really enjoyed her description of the hospital. I know every time I get stabbed, it’s so embarrassing when I accidentally walk into the broken bone ER. I’m sure we’ve all been there.
 
C3PBRO said:
Sorry I just can't, old friend. I just found proof that she wrote this in the last four years and not when she was 17 like she tells everyone she did. Or maybe she did write it when she was 17 and this is some sort of twisted almanac of the Amberverse.
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TwinkieBooBoo said:
She mentions H1N1 in the previous post you made. The world H1N1 Swine Flu epidemic was 2009/2010. The terminology wouldn't have been widely used by the public before it became a public health crisis.

It was very newsworthy at the time.
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I wonder if she keeps updating it, because it's such a work of genius that has to be left to posterity. Somehow, that'd be even funnier...

I know the likelihood of this seeing an editor is on the level with her becoming a true skinny legend, but I can dream. This won't end up at the bottom of a slush-pile, it will be recognised as true genius and make its way up the chain until one day the Cheesebeast gets an email:-

"Dear Amby,

Whilst your like novel is most definitely like a shoe-in for the like Booker, I feel we should like perhaps change just a like tiny smidge. Is that like ok with you booboo? Like, a little change moment on some of the like descriptors, and perhaps a like look at the punctuation situation? Only if it's ok with you, like of course. You go, gorl!!!!! "

Like yours sincerely, etc."


I'm sure she sees it going this way, full of praise and admiration and her as the final orfority. Nowhere in our girl's dreams are curt emails saying "it's crap. Do it again" and it'd be just awful if someone told her that's what happens in RealLand.

Or some bitch wrote it on 't farms and she sees it during her secret forays hidden under the blankets in the closet Jade has put her in at night. She's been told not to look at the thread any more and knows Jade's fury will be dire but she just can't stop herself having a tiny peek. The light won''t show under the door, will it? And our gorl feverishly checks the thread, keeping one vigilant eye on the door and her ears alert to the sounds of her beloved shagging some bloke she's shipped in. Amber knows she's safe as long as the bed is squeaking...
 
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I think I got to two chapters before my brain clocked out for it's lunch break. I wish I can mock Amber's writing. But that would be like a punching a downie. It doesn't feel satisfying.
 
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