🍗 Deathfat Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

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She thinks hospitals have DOZENS of emergency rooms for different emergencies and the patients have to find the right one to go to. And the bigger the hospital = the more emergency rooms?? Some poor guy with a bullet in his skull wandering around not being helped because he's in the cough-cough ER.

Astounding.
 
Owlflaps said:
I think I got to two chapters before my brain clocked out for it's lunch break. I wish I can mock Amber's writing. But that would be like a punching a downie. It doesn't feel satisfying.
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Yes it does, my wee feathered frendo. Honest 😈

You know I'd never lead you astray. I'm adorable™ Besides, she's so mind-meltingly boring now - and how does that even work? Every era we think "can't be less boring than*..." but somehow it always is - that at least @C3PBRO has reminded us of the good old days.


*I swear she'd still have an audience of tards tuning in to throw money at her if she just fatted there silently with the occasional belch. "You're so strong/empathic/lardy" with a series of the more pathetic emojis and superchats flung at her every time she breathed wheezed. Uhmazeen. She could be propped up there dead and they'd still YASSSS GOOORL at her festering corpse.
 
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Tiny Clanger said:
Eta: whatdefuck is a "well doctor?" Do doctors treat wells? What ailments could wells possibly suffer from and you absolute bastard, you have sucked me in now HEEEEEEEEEELP
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that's like the cheapest doctor, like how when you order well vodka and you get some hand sanitizer from minnesota
 
All the things I think I learned from trying to read this:
-Every female only wears a pink or white spaghetti strap top, but sometimes a sweatshirt that is always too big.
-Scottie’s 14-year-old sister is a huge slut (I know this, because she’s referred to as slutty at least once every two chapters).
-Rosebud Hospital not only has the most ER’s per capita, but they also don’t have HIPAA laws, because they give out personal info to whoever the fuck comes along.
-The allegedly skinny main character has some weird food tastes, like pairing hamburgers with garlic pasta.
-Scottie falls for the fat girl in class with green eyes and long hair (if this doesn’t prove that Amber is in love with herself, I don’t know what does).
-Making out with your friend while her girlfriend is in the hospital with amnesia is totally cool.
-If you’re a teen and pregnant, the only appropriate way to reveal this to your mom is to go over to a friend’s house for dinner and take off your sweatshirt to reveal your baby bump.
-I now have brain damage. Thanks, Amber.

And the award for Best Comment goes to...
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The fact that we're talking about a super old piece of Amber's "writing" versus her latest live really goes to show just how goddamned boring she's become. The writing is hysterical even if it wasn't by AL's hand, so it's far more interesting by default.
 
I honestly wish she would write more. At least she was doing something "creative" and "using" her "brain."

Did she ever finish that haiku she was thinking about earlier this year?
 
C3PBRO said:
Sorry I just can't, old friend. I just found proof that she wrote this in the last four years and not when she was 17 like she tells everyone she did. Or maybe she did write it when she was 17 and this is some sort of twisted almanac of the Amberverse. Who knows what else I might find. Amber's other adopted brother. The journal with the free pen we saw that one time. Or Becky's ears.
View attachment 2660445
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Holy shit, this is rough.

- Badly constructed sentences
- Misused/Abused punctuation
- Perspective switch
- Poorly formed similes

When you're writing something for an audience it shouldn't be a fucking chore to read.


GargoyleGorl said:
She does this a lot, actually.

It's a fun, if autistic, game to sit down and try to work out the thesaurus trail sometimes. Good --> Well is easy, but she'll start off with a word like... I don't know. "Shiny," say, and end up going Shiny --> Polished --> Cultured --> Sophisticated and end up describing the Christmas orrna-mints as "cosmopolitan" or some shit because she doesn't English super good.
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I'm going to have to try that sometime. Hell, maybe she's onto something. I might want to try out her technique-->delivery-->freightage one day.

Edit: Because I care about my grammar usage damnit.
 
brooky said:
Did she ever finish that haiku she was thinking about earlier this year?
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Our man on the ground reported back. Read this and weep at its sonorous beauty, exquisite imagery and lyrical expresserationativityness:-


Fud fud fud fud fud
Fud fud buns fud fud fud fud
Fud fud fud fud fud


Everything went quiet after that. Either he was stunned into silence by this creative behemoth, or fifty two thousand unbelievably naff journals fell on him.
 
91 Chapters just to get "To be continued." How am I supposed to go on, not knowing what happens to Scottie, slutty Samantha and the lesbian that forgot she was a lesbian?
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At least we know the last time she updated was 2017 so our girl was well into her 20's when she wrote this garbage.
 
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StrawberryDouche said:
Her grammar had semicolon cancer, but they removed it through its period hole.
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Tiny Clanger said:
And then her hyphen was restored. Cos dainty.



(I'm really very sorry. I'll take myself outside and have me shot.)
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Sounds painful. Hope they put her in an induced Comma at the Vaginal Emergency Room. The whole incident sounds like an absolute Apostrophe.

(I'll get me coat..)
 
Amber is live:
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Ouch.

BPD.png
Archive:
 
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McBoogerBall said:
No fucking clue what drove these tards to pay 7 dollars a month to comment shit like this, especially in a fat woman’s livestream. Get a fucking grip.
I feel the same way when watching Amberlynn too, Evelyn
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God, imagine not only paying $7 a month to chat in a 600 pound sped's livestreams, but also saying this shit because you can't think of anything more creative that will get her attention.
 
brooky said:
She thinks hospitals have DOZENS of emergency rooms for different emergencies and the patients have to find the right one to go to. And the bigger the hospital = the more emergency rooms?? Some poor guy with a bullet in his skull wandering around not being helped because he's in the cough-cough ER.

Astounding.
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Obviously only the best hospital in all of the United States, Rosebud Hospital does, duh.
 
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