Alien: Covenant/Alien Series thoughts.

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A military predator buddy cop aliens movie with Arnold.
Arnold would have only showed up at the end for like 5 seconds. Funnily enough, the same idea was floated when AVP was being made but Arnie was caught up in being governor at the time.
 
Arnold would have only showed up at the end for like 5 seconds. Funnily enough, the same idea was floated when AVP was being made but Arnie was caught up in being governor at the time.
You have to think about the sequel potential man. Ughhh I want my movies stupider and fun not stupider and dark.
 
None of what the other insane shit the dweeb sperged about has been mentioned.
Which other insane shit? Kid Autism remotely piloting the Predator ship and being able to read Predatorese is in that draft of the script.
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It had "get to the choppers" with a line of motorcycles, no helicopter, though:
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The cheeks and forehead look too smooth and blurry, hopefully the effects aren't finished yet
I strongly suspect that's the case. The movie is still six months out and SFX teams are often working up to the last possible minute. They also get put under ridiculous pressure by marketing people to release stuff early. I think Marketing people imagine they work from start to finish through the movie and that if the SFX team are 70% done that means they can get finished shots from the first two thirds of the movie. And even if they think they are finished (which I doubt), based on reactions to the Predator's face they're currently being told they haven't. TL;DR: I'd be surprised if it isn't much improved by the release. Unless they run out of money.

So fans of 80s and 90s actions movie embrace that stuff.
Yeah, I think you pretty much nailed it as far as I'm concerned and I don't really like 80's movies much with a handful of exceptions (usually meaning "directed by John Carpenter"). Even Aliens, I prefer the first and third in the series over it.

When in doubt (and there's Ayylmaos about), check AVPgalaxy: Predator 4 Deleted Scenes:
Holy crap, there's some mental stuff in there. Given how dumb the actual final scene was in The Predator I think even something as bonkers as time travelling Newt (she'd have to have time travelled, right?) would be better. It would at least have a gonzo charm about it. At that point though, it would really be leaning the general crowd into seeing it as a shared universe rather than the official approach of there being three canons: Aliens, Predator and Alien V Predator, with each of the three being distinct in its own right. And I know the latter two categories do blur the lines but that is what the people behind the Alien RPG said was the official / legal position at least.

As to Predators in the army, I dislike that. But I do think how effective predators would be in an actual military conflict. They'd be very hard to stop getting way behind your lines and just assassinating officers, getting targeting locations for artillery and drones or just straight up sabotage and bombs. And with their stamina and speed they could cover forty or fifty miles behind your lines easily without needing any supplies, then just hike back again. Wars would end very quickly because unlike our modern conventional war, the politicians wouldn't be safe. The moment their lives were on the line they'd negotiate pretty quickly. Come to think of it, that might be a nice twist in a Predator movie: That TPTB allow the hunting. Hell, maybe they even join in.
 
I would like to note that just by changing the tribe to the Apache or Crow, you'd solve the majority of these problems. Several clans and tribes among the Apache allowed and in some cases encouraged women to hunt things like small game for example. Hell, there's even a case where a woman among their tribes fucking murking a Comanche chief out of vengeance for killing her husband (via deception and seduction but still), and escaped with her own horse and spurs out of the camp. She later joined her second husband in Geronimo's warband, fighting among them.

And the Crow is one of the tribes that genuinely did have two spirit as a concept to provide roles to those who didn't fit the gender norms. And that'd still fit more for French trappers given they're located among the same reaches you'd see the Metis.
Apache is still a far stretch, but as you said an Apache woman having some level of bushcraft would at least be in the realm of possibility. It would still be absolute blantant gender-politics bullshit but it wouldn't be impossible on the face.

Crow would be more sensible (and their "two spirit" thing was more about 'what the fuck do we do with males who can't pass the rites of manhood? We put too much effort and scarce resources in raising them so we can't just kill or exile them.' but lets not get into that horsehit) from a location perspective but while they weren't a peaceable hippy tribe by any means they lack the "name brand" recognition because they were reasonable and came to agreements early.
(Also you then potentially run in to issues of people looking up the Crow and seeing they went full-throttle support for the Confederacy and now you have people noticing things)


As I've said in other posts: I have no issues with a Predator coming down to hunt Comanche (though why they'd bother hunting anyone who isn't a Gurka I don't know). I only have issues with the fact there is a Comanche woman well trained enough to take them on and strong enough, due to to modern politics. And issues with a commanche being protrayed as "heroic" in general because they were extremely fucked up.
Also mild issues with the way the Voyagers were portrayed becuase they needed white people bad, but the Voyagers would generally go out of their way to ingratiate themselves with local tribes via gifts and trade, and there weren't enough of them until, effectively, post-Louisiana Purchase to cause any noticeable effects.
But then we can't have our environmental messaging.
Because this is a serious film about an extra terrestrial trophy hunter.

Predator 1's first hour doesn't hold up well at all. It also begins by showing the Predator ship land on Earth so that retards in the audience are immediately clued in that this is a film with an alien monster in it. The action sequences are so over the top as are the 'badass' quotes. But this was the style of nearly every action movie. Stuff like Terminator, James Bond, and Die Hard are filled with characters throwing out stuff for the audience to quote that are fourth wall breaking. Predator lets you know pretty quickly it's more of a satirical film when one of the leads is carrying an 85lbs mini-gun through the jungles.

Predator 2 is a joke of a movie like Alien 4 where it's clearly aimed at an immature and unsophisticated audience. But the series has always been campy and ridiculous. Less horror and more comedy. So fans of 80s and 90s actions movie embrace that stuff. The cocaine filled gangsters acting like Scarface fighting with Predators. An old lady just oblivious to a giant space alien destroying her apartment. Cringe lines for 12-year-olds like "pussy mouth". The audience is supposed to be laughing at these films and characters. When El Scorpio inhales a mountain of cocaine into his nose then gets mowed down by a Predator it's not meant to be serious. Too many Alien fans want the Predator franchise to be as serious not realizing it has always leaned into comedy.

Predator 1's first half holds up fine. When you know the "twist" it does slogs a bit. The director was trying to get audiences to think they were watching a normal action movie, then change shit up on them (seriously. Predator's director commentary the guy took a lot of pride in his work for a sci-fi action film) . The alien space ship at the beginning was an inexpensive way to address where the predator came from because audiences were confused about what the Predator was supposed to be, but it was a little too spot-on.

Predator 2 wasn't a joke, but it was intended to take the formula of "Violent Urban Cop" movie and turn it on its head. Basically Dirty Harry meets Scarface, then add the Predator.

(Predators started to do the same thing with a "Battle Royale" movie but gave up its premise way too early, and lacked a bunch of nesscessary elements, like contracting zones, explosive penalties, and scattered weapons. Also the genre wasn't well established or as pervasive so it that part didn't land very well.)

Both films are far from perfect, but they are enjoyable films that entertain without trying to push a message (other than that Yautja are pretty rad)
You sound like the sort of person who thinks the "Street Fight" in Demolition Man is bad because it uses a bunch of action film cliches.

Well lets leave it here. Some people find throwing a machete through someone's chest and pinning them to the wall less suspension-of-disbelief breaking than the chieftan's daughter learning to hunt, and I am the other way around.
One 2-second sequence is the equivalent of an entire movie's premise. Sure Jan.

If this isn't quality cinema then you're a slack-jawed faggot. End of story.
Fix'd
 
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Predator 1's first half holds up fine. When you know the "twist" it does slogs a bit.
Have you even seen the film? The twist is revealed in the opening scene and continually revealed in the first half with things like showing the thermal vision. An alien has come to Earth. You know that the soldiers are going to encounter it. The monster is literally in the title of the film. You also know that the first rescue mission failed because the alien monster killed them. And you know that the skinned men hanging from the trees are from the alien as well. You literally know everything before the characters do. Unless you somehow miss seeing the first scene or the trailer for the film you should know the 'twist'. And it's not even a twist when the plot is in the trailer.

Imagine the first scene of The Sixth Sense was Bruce Willis's character dying in a car accident. This is how Predator was made. They wanted audiences knowing that the soldiers fight an alien. It was literally in the trailers of the film. They weren't throwing in any plot twists.
The director was trying to get audiences to think they were watching a normal action movie, then change shit up on them (seriously. Predator's director commentary the guy took a lot of pride in his work for a sci-fi action film) .
Why would audiences think that they were watching a normal action film when an alien lands its ship on Earth in the first scene? I can tell that you didn't see the film when it premiered. Because the marketing for the film was literally with lines like "Nothing like this has ever been on Earth". The trailers made it pretty obvious that it was an alien hunter coming to Earth to hunt men for sport.
The alien space ship at the beginning was an inexpensive way to address where the predator came from because audiences were confused about what the Predator was supposed to be, but it was a little too spot-on.
It was literally done because they did it in The Thing and executives wanted the exact same shot done. And also because of the marketing of Alien showing the egg and it luring audiences in. The marketing for Predator was very clear. Come watch Arnold Schwarzenegger battle an alien on Earth.
 
Predator needs some sort of anthology or Genndy style series where its just small stories or self-contained adventures across different time periods or locales. Have a Predator land in a fictitious prehistoric Earth but theres dinosaurs, superhuman cavemen, mammoths and other creatures. Pit a Roman Legion against a Predator, have a Predator be a gladiator in some alien tournament world and leading a rebellion with other species or something. They have a bunch of ideas and just default to boring nonsense or literal autism.
 
Imagine the first scene of The Sixth Sense was Bruce Willis's character dying in a car accident.
I mean, that IS the first scene in the Sixth Sense, just replace car accident with crazy patient.

Why would audiences think that they were watching a normal action film when an alien lands its ship on Earth in the first scene? I can tell that you didn't see the film when it premiered. Because the marketing for the film was literally with lines like "Nothing like this has ever been on Earth". The trailers made it pretty obvious that it was an alien hunter coming to Earth to hunt men for sport
That is what happened with Marketing after the film was written and shot. The space ship sequence wasn't in the original treatment, iirc there was supposed be a Predator 2-esque sequence at the end where there was a ship but it was too expensive. I can't remember how it was supposed to be originally addressed, probably some half-assed dialogue.

Predator needs some sort of anthology or Genndy style series where its just small stories or self-contained adventures across different time periods or locales. Have a Predator land in a fictitious prehistoric Earth but theres dinosaurs, superhuman cavemen, mammoths and other creatures. Pit a Roman Legion against a Predator, have a Predator be a gladiator in some alien tournament world and leading a rebellion with other species or something. They have a bunch of ideas and just default to boring nonsense or literal autism.
We are getting that, and it looks horrible.

And I'm going to disagree with you, slightly. Predators just killing things gets old after a while. you do need to keep the mix fresh and its hard to add stakes with silent hunters or every squence is just "Predator shows up, tries to out-wow last sequence, something dies, the end".
 
And I'm going to disagree with you, slightly. Predators just killing things gets old after a while. you do need to keep the mix fresh and its hard to add stakes with silent hunters or every squence is just "Predator shows up, tries to out-wow last sequence, something dies, the end".
AvP:R sort of did this. They had a Predator investigate things and also give us a glimpse of some type of Predator home world or colony planet. The Wolf Predator was cleaning up the downed spaceship and erasing the remains of the aliens. Pouring that glowing liquid that would melt the bodies and so on. He also seemed more determined to honor kill the Predalien for being an abomination than removing all traces of Yautuja technology.

Technically The Predator also had an entire plotline about Predator hybrid science. And some type of civil war or conflict amongst their species. But they went in the most idiotic direction with it doing the autism angle. Probably one of the worst written plots in any movie maybe in history. I still laugh that they wanted the kid to pilot the Predator ship like the child version of Darth Vader from the Star Wars prequels.
 
Well I guess we're still talking Predator then. Right then.

So I actually only have one issue with the first movie and it's Shane Black tbh. He has one joke; it isn't fucking funny, and he is the worst part of the film IMO because he's so fucking unfunny. I am so happy they gave him the Shia Lebouf treatment ala Fury because goddamnit he was an anticomedy walrus.

Other than that, like I said, it's enjoyable since it takes Commando and slowly turns it on its head. The camp dies when the camp's done, which is a nice touch. It was also fun to see a ripped Arnie actually get his shit pushed in, which would be the first time he couldn't win via grit.

Also the UFO sequence was put in for both films because producers even back then thought you were fucking retards who need to be fed slop and be happy with it. The difference was that directors actually sometimes thought you had a brain and would fight for things to be added. The Thing if I recall had that UFO scene added too, just like Predator. And a more recent funny example actually happens in the Two Towers, where Minas Tirith was erased because the producers thought you'd be so fucking retarded you'd confuse it with Helm's Deep.

Producers are fucking morons as a whole, and think you're just as dumb as they are. However, they're key in preventing a fucking moron of a director from pissing away all the money like in Heaven's Gate, and sometimes they actually give good ideas too.
 
Predator needs some sort of anthology or Genndy style series where its just small stories or self-contained adventures across different time periods or locales. Have a Predator land in a fictitious prehistoric Earth but theres dinosaurs, superhuman cavemen, mammoths and other creatures. Pit a Roman Legion against a Predator, have a Predator be a gladiator in some alien tournament world and leading a rebellion with other species or something. They have a bunch of ideas and just default to boring nonsense or literal autism.

I believe at some point a long time ago a script was written or pitched about a Predator versus a 17th Century tall ship. Master and Commander (I think it was before that) versus a Predator.

The problem is, like with Prey they would need to scale back the Predators skills. It would work in canon to some degree. In Prey, which I actually enjoyed. The Predator was literally a retarded Predator who was bad at being a Predator to make the script work.
 
That is what happened with Marketing after the film was written and shot. The space ship sequence wasn't in the original treatment, iirc there was supposed be a Predator 2-esque sequence at the end where there was a ship but it was too expensive. I can't remember how it was supposed to be originally addressed, probably some half-assed dialogue.
I was suspicious that this was the case with Phase IV's opening narration, but when a buddy gave me the novelization not only did it have the big overbearing HERE IS AN EXPLANATION THAT THE ANTS ARE SMART AND THEY ARE ATTACKING HUMANITY BECAUSE SPACE STUFF, it also had _five_ phases, which seems to have fallen by the wayside somewhere
 
Predator needs some sort of anthology or Genndy style series where its just small stories or self-contained adventures across different time periods or locales. Have a Predator land in a fictitious prehistoric Earth but theres dinosaurs, superhuman cavemen, mammoths and other creatures. Pit a Roman Legion against a Predator, have a Predator be a gladiator in some alien tournament world and leading a rebellion with other species or something. They have a bunch of ideas and just default to boring nonsense or literal autism.
Yeah, that's a thing now.


You are so Two Thousand and Late.

So I actually only have one issue with the first movie and it's Shane Black tbh. He has one joke; it isn't fucking funny, and he is the worst part of the film IMO because he's so fucking unfunny. I am so happy they gave him the Shia Lebouf treatment ala Fury because goddamnit he was an anticomedy walrus.

I would mic spam the "Jeeze, ya' gotta' big pussy" line while playing TF 2.

Otherwise, I agree. There's maybe two flaws in Predator: the ship at the beginning and some dodgy CGI in places. Both of which could be easily fixed today. I said this elsewhere but this is the one time where I would welcome the director pulling a George Lucas and attempting to "fix" the movie.
 
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that might be a nice twist in a Predator movie: That TPTB allow the hunting. Hell, maybe they even join in.
That's more or less the premise to the comic book "Atmospherics". Little grey aliens saw the worlds greatest powers covering up what they were doing(vivisections etc) for decades and thought of it as the elite approving their actions. Decent concept.
 
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