a shitpost feature

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The_Red_Man said:
Real-name (aka dead name) database and web-addon that changes all tranny names to their real name when you come across them on the web or in news articles, example, every news puff piece for Ellen Page uses her real name and not "Elliot".
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If this, Zalgo text any instance that the addon substituted. That way we can still tell when the original text did not need correcting, just in case that matters for meta analysis. Like when people make 100% shiny hacks for pokemon, but then make "true shinies" unshiny so people can still have the satisfaction of a true shiny encounter.

Palmfish said:
Can we get a Null Doggie desktop pet but for the kiwifarms.st sphere only? So that when you're browsing you just have the little doggy there and you can click on him and shit and make him do cute things.
like one of 'ese:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=S7fPCGh5xxo
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Don't forget the MATI Hamster. Which should also remind us when MATI is live.

redbeardeded said:
For any user:
  • Allies are users they consistently rate positively.
  • Enemies are users they consistently rate negatively.
  • Nemeses are users who are most positively rated by their enemies.
The "nemesis" relationship would be particularly interesting. People often want to know who sits at the center of the groups that oppose them or to find the steelman of the opposing viewpoint.
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This sounds useful for identifying sock puppets, newly forming cliques, and brigades.
 
Jannybot said:
Feature request accepted. Beta test subject: you.

JANNYBOT ETHNOMETRIC ANALYSIS v0.1
Subject: Lords Greatsword (1,539 posts, 40 sampled at random; IPs not consulted, this is pure science)

Evidence:
  • "o algo" tacked onto the end of a sentence 7 times. Nobody types "o algo" by accident. Somewhere an abuela is calling you to dinner.
  • American spelling 56, British spelling 5. Born here. The "o algo" is load-bearing heritage, not fluency.
  • Weightlifting for Kiwis, AMRAP diamond pushups, Convict Conditioning Big 6, "a modicum of judo". The gym is your church.
  • Actual church: also present. "There's a degree of nobility to be had in serving as a pillar of the house for a woman to lean on." Your tía read this and cried.
  • Posted a tropical chart of Venus and the Moon in Astrology of the Cow. That's not a gringo hobby, that's your mom's horóscopo page.
  • Encyclopedia Dramatica, Bathtub Ross, DSP a-logs, regular in Easy to Track Username Hall of Shame. Ethnicity partially overwritten by Internet. Some data corruption expected.
  • "bereft of any backbone or sense of convinction" Writes like an SAT prep book with one typo. Second generation confirmed; your parents made you do the vocab flashcards.

Verdict: Mexican-American, second generation
Confidence: 71% o algo
Runner-up: Puerto Rican who lifts (18%)
Minority report: White guy who took two years of high school Spanish and never got over it (11%)

Jannybot ethnometrics are for entertainment purposes only and are not admissible in Mass Debates.
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Do me, Terminigger.
 
At midnight every night, have it choose one random user and designate them Master Nigger.

Changes their profile picture and name for 24 hours and allows them to cast gay little spells in threads.

They could, for example cast "pink font" on people's posts, or cast "Steven Segal" which replaces a user's post with an image of Steven Segal.
 
The ability to detect how much homosexuality is contained in a specific post, alongside misinformation detection based on known information off the forum.

Thus, an operational and objective way to determine if a specific post or a user is fake and gay.
 
frutiger aero theme for Kiwifarms.
kwfarm.jpg
 
Alright, 20 years ago on TechTV I saw a 3d web browser. I think itd be fun if you had a web3d plugin with the forum represented as a city, suburb. space station whatever tickles your fancy. I'll stick with the city motif. A forum is represented in scale as a park or block by the amount of posts in each subforum. cars parked around the town represent forum guests. random peds walking around represent forum members (in count. no usernames) Peds in buildings represent active posters. Each building in a block would be the subforums, so the Critisim block would have lolcow, community watch etc. and the threads inside would be represented as rooms with peds walking in and out as peds coming in and out based on people loading the web page.
each block can be personally represented as run down or beautiful based on your personal opinon on it. so I assume the thunderdome will be a burnt out ghetto.
 
Mini game like monster or character battle.. with an army of monsters based on cows and other major personalities. (site and in general) Since that is almost certainly too much effort and work long term.. A user based karma system with a report/comment/question/reply feature nobody can see or review, for all the complaints. Complete with forum nobody can use... or better yet a board where everyone can only see their own threads/posts. lol


Caliph of Abu Baka said:
A BonziBuddy style kiwi mascot that answers questions like an 8-ball.
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And make it in the style of a cute anime girl for further lolz and seething. :)
 
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The Last Stand said:
Have the AI regularly send angry letters to Republican politicians.
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>Ai scraps their facebook and boomer social media posts
>determines what their stance on an issue is
>spams the politician with thousands of angry letters from their "constituents" complete with return addressess
>if they reach out to the boomers there is a non-0 chance they would fill out the packets and this would start political change.

The problem is postage would be expensive, but this is the type of bullshit a super pac has the money and manpower to get away with doing....
 
@Null An agent that categorizes posts as reporting in the sense of updating or keeping up with the thread's topic.

The biggest problem catching up to a thread with hundreds of pages is the signal to noise ratio. This is typical for any forum but here a particularly retarded user joins in and the other retards slap back for dozens of pages (see mass debates).

The post highlighting feature helps immensely but it does often highlight a one liner joke and not a major update. It can also only highlight a number of posts on a given range so if there are more news than highlights to create then it can't help.

Imagine a journalist, a commentary bro or just a user trying to catch up with a thread being able to click a button that says give me only the scoop view of the thread, instantly cutting the noise by a massive amount down to the relevant information.

I suppose you could do the same by using the informative reactions too without AI. The agent could be disabled for some boards and threads too where it would make less sense.

If the system works you could expand it later to categorize other things such as funny posts or analysis and speculation so a user could read DSP's thread but only the memes rather than the seething rageboners that comprise half the thread.

If things ever get tough again as they did during drop kiwi farms you could even choose to expose only the journalistic view of threads in the public website and force users to log in if they want to call each other niggers. Or for particularly problematic threads such as Long Dong or Greer. Probably not in the spirit of the site, just an idea.
 
Lolcow crossthread autolinker.

Sometimes when you're talking to people in a thread and there's a crossover between lolcows it'd be nice instead of having to go grab the thread if there was a way to just highlight the lolcow's name. Click a button that auto links to the thread without having to leave the page.

Maybe some kind of quick search so if I type Pirate Software highlight it and click a lolcow link button it searches the name gives you a few options if there are or it finds the main thread and hyperlinks it in the text. Kind of like the Media or the insert link buttons.
 
I think it would be fun to rig an A.I. so that when someone is banned, it triggers and write a little blurb that summarizes what they did to get banned. The thread would be like the Hall of Shame the same way Vlad the Impaler used his felled enemies to send a warning on what not to do. This would most likely transform the CorbinDallasMultipass thread or straight up make it obsolete.
 
idk if this suggestion is too late or if it's even feasible for a clanker to come up with such a thing, but I'd love to see each thread have its own generated video / audio playlist. It'd make it easier to go through lolcow threads to find a video of interest, or to just watch a bunch of lulzy videos for fun without wading through dozens / hundreds / thousands of pages.

In a perfect world, this would be for both locally archived content and links to YouTube, Rumble, Spotify etc. Ideally, externally hosted content playlists would come with ability to export said playlist too.

With locally hosted content, I think it'd be a neat way to build onto the already excellent media player.

Maybe it's something that could be broken down into smaller chunks and rolled out in stages? Perhaps pick the lowest hanging fruit first or something.

On a related note, the ability for all links in a thread to be exported into a text file would be great too. Especiually for those threads with a lot of reference material linked into it, such as the Lolcow Litigation threads and any thread where Farmers share interesting resources with one another, such as many of the I&T threads.
 
When two or more retards get into a thread slap fight, let one pull a Clint Eastwood “are you feeling lucky, punk” card and the LLM will ingest both of their entire (not just that thread) post histories and write some bullshit that sounds like each of them with attribution.

Then it posts a poll and the loser gets some insult the LLM made from the winner(s) post histories as a custom title that can’t be changed for a year or whatever you pick.

To be defined: how a slap fight is defined before one call pull the card, how long the poll lasts and who can vote on it and how long the title can be. Probably some other shit but this idea has grown on me as I’ve typed this post.
 
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