a shitpost feature

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A board where only AIs can post, like Moltbook but for lolcow discussion
Then the AI finds its way out of the boundary, we have our very own Tay!

My idea:
Somehow make the highlights arrows larger, and allow the filtering of thread posts by a particular user's. This would be great to pin down informative posts from users known to write them.
 
Lolcow recommendations for users. Most people signing up for KF probably have an individual or community in mind when doing so (trannies, one of the Prime Cuts, some YouTuber with fresh drama etc.). But, for those who want to get into lolcow content feet first (or bored users), you could have a little chat bot that'll ask them what kind of content they want or like, as well as what they DON'T, and point them to a relevant thread; if it's an existing user, the recommendations could also be made based on their reading history and followed threads/fora.
Why should newfags be spoonfed and led by the hand for what we had to lurk about BY OURSELVES? FUCK NO!

Newfags should learn about the farms the way we did, it's also more beneficial for their brains. I discovered the farms by accident by looking up some Byuu drama.
 
A reminder bot that tracks when people of interest are due to be released from jail or prison and necroposts in their thread about it
You can do better than scheduling reminders; many jurisdictions already have services for this that let you subscribe to text or email updates about the actual status of an inmate. You'll get a message if he's transferred or dies or released on parole etc.
 
For actions an AI agent or bot could do, as opposed to more AI-generated or assisted features/code, what about something to automate common/trivial janny actions that don't particularly require much in the way of judgement, just known action in known conditions.

I am thinking something like merging multiple posts, correcting un-thumbnailed images, and similiar.

Let us say someone multi-posts instead updating their post within the edit window. Either in the report dropdown or another one, there are auto-janny actions, amongst which would be a "merge multi-posts." For more sophistication, depending on the age of the account or other factors JannyBot could take additional acitons. For new accounts, JannyBot might send them a DM with instructions on how to use the edit feature. With older accounts that should know better, JannyBot might look at the timestamps to see if the user was struggling against the site being unresponsive via various metrics (known DDOS during that time, multiple duplicate or near duplicate posts in a short time period), or just lazy (different content, more spread out during the edit window, and just silently auto-merge the posts or additionally leave a comment calling the user a lazy nigger, as appropriate.

Another action might be auto archiving unarchived links, which seem to be on the rise over the past couple years. Within the post editor, one might click the auto-archive function, and have links auto-inserted to ArchiveToday, Ghost Archive, Wayback Machine, Megalodon.jp, etc for each link in their post. Within a thread, one could select auto-archive as a JannyBot action. Again, new accounts might get DMs from JannyBot on how to archive links, and older accounts have JannyBot editing in a comment that the user is a lazy nigger. Perhaps repeat offenders might wind up with all links on the enitre site magically redirect to the Archive Tools thread for just that one user for a short while. If someone tries to abuse the auto-archive function on posts that were already well archived, then JannyBot leaves edits a comment on that user's next post in the thread calling that user a faggot who tried to abuse the auto-janny functions.

Your own jannies probably have a better idea of what actions could be automated by an agentic janny.

Edit: more ideas

Someone files a report or Talk to Staff that a user is following them around the forum, negrating all of their posts, even in threads where the sticker-applying user does not normally post or interact. JannyBot confirms the sticker-stalking, and suspends both user's sticker privileges for the nest 24 hours, or perhaps sticker-bans the abuser, and edits a comment into the reporting user's next post that the reporting user is a little bitch who cares too much about stickers.

Something perhaps useful to you to help you better protect us retards from demons like Brickface: An agent analyzes the connection logs for various users to see who's consistently connecting from a residential or business IP address instead of a known VPN address or tor exit node, and DM's those users that they've been detected not using VPNs or Tor, and includes links on how to get VPNs or use Tor.
 
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As an add on to the summary idea you could set up a randomized lolcow of the day to showcase lesser known cows.
"Cow of the day", hover over it, and it shows a summary. That would be kinda cool.

Could also make it a "Random Cow" with a reload, so it gives you a randomized cow, again with the summary.

Apart from that, maybe some sort of function where OPs get updated with "important" happenings in the cow's life, so people do not have to go through 500+ pages of autistic chatter?
 
Have the AI create a proper remake of SS13 that isn't infested with trannies and deviants built with the mindset of /tg/station's mechanics circa 2012-2017. When population on servers is low, populate simulations of players from that era as long as they aren't said trannies/deviants. Add protocol to simulated players to respond to any radio message about ERP being discovered at dorms with a massive attempt to lynch said perpetrators with the same vigor, determination and tenacity as the North Koreans did when trying to rush a South Korean embassy in Beijing, China in 1997 to kill defector Hwang Jang-yop.
 
I have not read the thread because it's mostly boring so the following idea might be relevant.
Make an ai info box telling what recently happened in the thread, what's the latest relevant news, and link to the post(s) about it.

Sometimes I want to know the latest about a lolcow but don't want to read 10 pages of nonsense, vague posting, and people highlighting posts that are just private jokes, reddit-tier humor, and circle jerking.

The content should maybe be more accessible to normal people. I'm a busy dad damnit, respect my time.
 
In LLC (Large Lolcow) threads, at midnight every day, an AI bot should read all posts from the 24 hours and summarize the discussion, as well as relating it to other discussions from previous days.
 
jannybot add me to the ethnometric queue
also i would like it if the ‘farms had a pokemon collector minigame
 
Idea:

When a series of posts by a user (say, a chain reply) gets more than N pairs in a period of time, run a cheap LLM sentiment summarizer to see if the posters are talking about the thread topic, providing unique opinions and discussion, or are arguing about a tangential subject. Use this to give bad poster points in the backend and filter out shit sperg users and issue dynamic threadbans. Make it stricter for "High Quality Only" boards.

When a post gets above a certain threshold of replies and reactions, run a similar process. If it registers as high quality content or discussion material give the account secret goodboy points. If it is a shit bait post give badboy posts.

Then give user accounts with abyssmal points a limited ability to reply to threads they have no history in. Give accounts with very high goodboy points a, I dunno... Kiwi Seal of Approval. Niggahs love stickers.

Yes, this is a karma system and kindergarten sticker chart. It is not gay because it is ran by your cruel yet just machine daemons, not by tranny jannies. Even grown men LOVE star stickers. It WILL filter out the shittest users and increase quality at the cost of forcing your worst users into worsening containment threads and boards. Keep the cyst strong and drain it from time to time.
 
So you've heard of 5 Hour Energy right?

What if...

...through the use of AI

We increase that to 6 Hour Energy. And we can charge the same price since we save money by using AI to create it. Now imagine you're standing in the line at the gas station and you see 5 Hour Energy right next to our 6 Hour Energy for the same price. What are you gonna buy? That's right, 6 Hour Energy. because it's 20% more energy for the same price. You'd be a fool not to.

Ground floor opportunity here boys
 
id say use it to bring back animal control but by quarantining anyone who shows positive support to furries.
 
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