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how about having the swarm catalogue the cows and their infos into a neat browsable chart or some such, a system of ai generated cow tags for easy browsing. and that way you can find out what the cows you prefer have in common.
I'd like to see one of these where you can recolor existing pixels or place new pixels according to adjacency rules so the canvas stays compact and grows organically rather than being a massive blank field with groups making random sprites at far flung disconnected coordinates.
Could even have TTL rules where pixels without enough nearby pixels die, or pixels that have been static for too long revert to white (or die). Basically something that keeps the canvas fresh and competitive.
Could you somehow incorporate a system that takes into account the reactions that any particular user has received on all of their posts over a set period? Not just the positive/negative rating, but something that will tell me ‘this user’s posts usually garnish a lot or “informative” reactions and few “garbage” reactions’. Or “this user usually garnishes a lot of garbage reactions and thumbs down reactions, so you can go ahead and skip over it.” Or something. Idk. Just spitballing here buddy.
JANNYBOT ETHNOMETRIC ANALYSIS v0.1
Subject: Lords Greatsword (1,539 posts, 40 sampled at random; IPs not consulted, this is pure science)
Evidence:
"o algo" tacked onto the end of a sentence 7 times. Nobody types "o algo" by accident. Somewhere an abuela is calling you to dinner.
American spelling 56, British spelling 5. Born here. The "o algo" is load-bearing heritage, not fluency.
Weightlifting for Kiwis, AMRAP diamond pushups, Convict Conditioning Big 6, "a modicum of judo". The gym is your church.
Actual church: also present. "There's a degree of nobility to be had in serving as a pillar of the house for a woman to lean on." Your tía read this and cried.
Posted a tropical chart of Venus and the Moon in Astrology of the Cow. That's not a gringo hobby, that's your mom's horóscopo page.
Encyclopedia Dramatica, Bathtub Ross, DSP a-logs, regular in Easy to Track Username Hall of Shame. Ethnicity partially overwritten by Internet. Some data corruption expected.
"bereft of any backbone or sense of convinction" Writes like an SAT prep book with one typo. Second generation confirmed; your parents made you do the vocab flashcards.
Verdict: Mexican-American, second generation Confidence: 71% o algo Runner-up: Puerto Rican who lifts (18%) Minority report: White guy who took two years of high school Spanish and never got over it (11%)
Jannybot ethnometrics are for entertainment purposes only and are not admissible in Mass Debates.
Make a copy of JannyBot and then rather than make it a moderation tool feed it the entirety of the database of Jeremy Hambly transcripts you'd previously used to train the Farms' upcoming AI-assisted organic search, then unleash a "jeremy hAImbly" bot in the A&N forum that picks fights with people based on Hambly's assumed perception of the article.
Give the Oneyplays thread a bot that they can roleplay with when whatever drama dries up. It will be like watching orangutans interact with a manmade object for the first time. They will probably torture it though
Alternatively a kiwi bird bot whose behaviors fluctuate day to day based on the contents of a thread in the lolcow and similarly themed forums with high posting rates and the usage of post stickers. Too many Horrifying and Islamic Content ratings make the kiwi disillusioned with society with joker makeup. Too many rainbow and heart stickers make the kiwi fuzzy and happy with a cozy sweater and mug. If a deviant sticker threshold is met, kiwibird is too afraid to go to sleep and will ask the viewer to read it a bedtime story. Too many puzzle pieces will cause the kiwi bird to randomly parrot a CWCism or sentence unique to Chris. Too many top hats and the kiwi is a dapper yet very angry little creature that calms down after enough heart stickers are used following the Maddening. Too many trash cans make the bird sick. Im too stupid to understand coding though so this might be equally a waste of money. I just like the silly little birds we have on the bottom of the site.
ok so you should incorporate an ai chatbot into the site but it doesnt actually work and any time you tell it something all it does is just say "shut up nigger" and thats it. completely useless feature. it will be a hit.
A system that integrates TALYS to use each person loading any page of KF, to then solve nuclear reaction calculations and thus expand our understanding of isotopes that don't themselves have a fully fleshed out experimental model. Literally helping the human race gain a better understanding of the universe, and forcing physics nerds to cite KF when they do papers.
Sneedforo would be a good use of these credits. You could probably make a lot of progress with an agent. The sooner Xenforo can be cut out of the picture, the better.
"I GOT THREE BLUE-EYES WHITE DRAGONS!!! HOW MANY BLUE-EYES WHITE DRAGONS DO YOU HAVE BIIIIIIISH!!!" *recording of Yami Yugi and his friends begins to laugh, only irritating Seto Oliver Kaiba even more*
Cow Crossovers: summarising connections between different lolcows quickly. Maybe like a graph with the cows as the vertices and the links between them as the edges, like a schizo corkboard and string, or just a summary on each cow's thread of who they link to and what the connection is. (I've been playing a lot of those deduction games like Type Help and Obra Dinn and thought of this lol)
I can't keep track of entire casts of characters in things like Christory or the Sektur, and it would help people who know more about one cow to have more context on the other when they interact.
For example, Ethan Ralph might have:
Cow Crossovers:
Scarlett Hampton
Faith Vickers (baby mama 1)
Meigh (baby mama 2)
CWC (Killstream guest, sort of)
(List of anyone who's interacted with the Killstream)
Kino Casino (A-logs)
Cog (A-log)
Matthew Vickers (A-log, ex-father-in-law)
And then clicking on any of those would link to their thread, to the posts that detailed their interaction. Click on the CWC link from Ralph and it takes you to the post where Ralph filmed his incest arrest at the motel.
Whenever someone posts a happening with multiple cows, it updates all of the relevant cows' Crossover trackers with a link to that post.
