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A movie in the same style and maudlin tone as this except everyone has replaced their friends with AI and is a lot happier as a result. Something Pro-AI in the ways most likely to upset humanity-cels.
Maybe a daily digest kind of feature where the most active, featured, and highlighted threads of the day get a broad summary of recent developments somewhere on the front page. A sort of front page of a newspaper feature to get an idea of events before diving into what interests you. Either one standard universal one for every user and visitor which can direct people to happenings on the site they might not see, or maybe have it be able to filter by user interests, so if you’re a BP gorl or A&H sperg you can tailor it to look at things you care about, though obviously that’d be a lot more resource intensive. Maybe as a perk for premium users?
Make it discriminating though, if there’s a topic I’m interested in but it’s 1500 posts sperging out about nothing, speculating baselessly, and infighting I’d want the summary scathingly clear about it.
Social network mapping/tracking of disruptive/sock accounts, cow accounts, bot accounts etc. with percentage values on odds of it being particular tards of concern. Maybe have it check for reposted content like spammed flagged images, etc.
You could do a whole sub forum of roleplaying games where the ai is the dm. Just all kinds of retarded shit that people could have fun with. It would add something to the forum to drive membership, and since the threads would be heavily monitored by the bot, it should be fairly low maintenance.
If you do disruptive things the only screen that loads up is a slot machine. Bossman Jannybot gives you a certain amount of coins that must be played before you can continue browsing (more coins for more disruptive behavior). Depending on what you get you could receive:
Nothing (best prize)
Pink Triangle
Loss of access to all stickers except a new one, A gay nigga flag called "I am a faggot"
Custom title changes to RETARDED NIGGER
User avatar changes to a picture from a community-selected pool of pictures
Threadban from the thread that got them sent here
Site ban
All of these prizes last for 24 hours the first time you get them, but then they unlock the possibility of winning a 1 week duration. Once you win a week, 1 month is unlocked, and once that is won prizes run the risk of being irrevocable.
A 'seven degrees of separation' map of lolcow personalities that shows how closely associated they are, based on how often they're mentioned in other cows' threads. Auto-updates. Allows users to navigate (click on bubble) discover hidden/low-key connections and find more fringe personalities related to their favorite cow. May encourage thread formation among the red strings and thumbtacks crowd. Zoe Quinn fucked the tranny wrestler.
- line thickness for strength of association
- bubble size (up to a limit) for number of posts
- bubble border thickness for current popularity (thin for low activity, dead threads)
May also unveil terra incognita (eg. TikTok cows) if the map shows conspicuous blank spaces where pasture should be.
add a crit failute system for the site akin to the og fallout games, like opening the self sufficiency thread and it popping up a warning saying "You failed to learn anything"
Create a chatbot that is trained off of a random selection of, say, 500,000 Kiwi Farms posts. Release it into the wild as a user account. See how long it takes for anyone to notice.
some form of summarization for large/fast threads to improve searchability, was thinking that every 100 or so posts the ai creates a summary of the major posts/events of those posts , and creates a summary for the next time the agent runs so it can have context of previous events, for example the fishtank thread, it might summarize the events that occurred, and then inform the next agent that we are still in season 5 and these are the remaining contestants, elim is expected on this date, and it ends on x date, so the summary can maintain larger context of the thread.
then have some way to search this or create a interactive timeline to make browsing large threads after the fact better, like jumping to the start of a fishtank season or a major elimination day for example. or be able to jump straight to one of the times bmj got out of jail or arrested or when he went upfag, sometimes i want to go back to a point in time in a thread and don't remember the date of something and it takes awhile to find a post i know exists. could make it like community notes where it asks users if a summary is correct and lets them make a comment as it is generating the summary.
also i think it would be nice to have something to classify posts, it would be nice to have some way of separating informational update type posts from commentary or comedy. stickers are a way but are not great, i would like be able to enable a filter to filter out the filler from the information when quickly getting news from the ukrane thread or uspg, while not affecting the posters and community themselves, could have the agent just classify posts every so often.
