💬 Off-Topic A-logging Phil/ADF - He's worse than Hitler and has twice as many testicles

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I hope Phil goes to a coffee shop and pays $6 for a fair trade caramel mocha latte and they just give him a mocha latte that isn't even fair trade.
 
I hope one of the other hobos under the bridge shanks Phil.
 
I hope Phil gets the help he needs, cleans up, removes his tattoos, gets a job and a wife then has kids. Then years later those kids find the farms.
 
I hope Phil's autism is cured, just so he can realize how much he's fucked up his life.
 
I hope to live long enough to be there when some beautiful homeless nutjob winds up eviscerating Phil with a broken bottle over the last piece of moldy cheese.
 
I hope Phil overdoses on hormone pills in a back alley and as his body twitches and he foams at the mouth, his rat brethren will come to his aid and start consuming his body to nourish the rest of the pack.
 
I hope his ass gets so crusty from all the grime and shit and it plugs him up while he keeps eating and he'll have to try but will ultimately fail to purify himself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka.
 
Dynastia said:
I hope Phil gets mauled by a poodle, a big French poodle not a little miniature one and I hope it does serious damage to him and tears up some tendons and ligaments in his calf so he walks with a limp for the rest of his life and I hope it bites his favourite tattoo and ruins it and I hope it bites his wrist and leaves a chip in the bone and nerve damage so he no longer has full movement of his thumb without excruciating pain, and then I hope when he cries about it on facebook we all pretend to think it was a miniature poodle and laugh at him for being a giant pussy and crying about a little yappy dog nipping at his ankles and we post lots of adorable miniature poodle pictures in the thread and they have those funny half-shaved hairstyles, and he reads the thread in hospital and feels even more sad and I hope the hospital doesn't give him enough painkillers.
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Actually it would be funnier if he were mauled by a Toy Poodle. This is the man that got his ass kicked by a skinny white hipster at an Occupy Rally after all.

I hope Phil gets everything he wants; gender reassignment surgery, all his tattoos, a permanent home, a group of people to hang out with, a brand new bicycle...everything, then realize he's still lonely, mentally retarded, stupid, ugly, unfulfilled, and watch him spiral into an existential crisis because he got everything he wants and his life is still miserable and pointless.
 
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I hope Phil finally confesses that he lied about his father raping him for all these years, and then the next day his father contacts him and they have a touching father-son reunion and Phil cries big blubbery tears of joy and regret, and then later that night his father holds him down and literally rapes him right in the asshole and then when he goes to facebook to whine about it nobody believes him.
 
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