7/23 Court Date

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Even if it's not another continuance, nothing of much import will happen. Chris will receive community service and a slap on the wrist at most because ultimately the "assault" was pretty minor and he is legit mentally handicapped. Kiwi Farms will explode in furious discussion, though.
 
You guys are wondering how he got all these continuances. He's been using this.

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soIregistered said:
Chris will get his comeuppance.
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:fapcup:

Since we are doing fanfic...

Chris will enter the court room. The room will be empty of officials or jurors. In the audience however are people from his life! The gal-pals will be there, Megan, Snyder, even Barb, though she is dressed in black and weeping uncontrollably. Chris looks at everyone and they are all in a hushed whisper. He leans to Barb to ask her what is going on, however as the words part his lips, he hears a gavel bang and the demand of "Order! Order!" Another voice states "Court is now in session, cuz. The case of Virginia v. Chandler now be heard". Chris recognizes these voices. As he turns he sees a pointy haired Guido with an orange face in a black robe holding a gavel and a large Samoan man in a police uniform. At this sight Chris throws open the gate between the audience and the court and stands between the plaintiff and defense tables, looking at the judge. A cold, still silence is over the court. "Your Honor-Your Hon-. YOU'RE CLYDE CASH!" The lighting in the room dims, however the light over the judge becomes illuminated. "Christian, I have always been the judge, and my justice has always been swift."

With that, the rabbling of the jury begins. Chris turns to see the jury packed with 12 :pickleman:, all conversing and pointing at him. "Oh no you don't-don't this time, CLYDE!" With that, Chris drops off the wig of scraggly hair, drops his dress to the floor, to reveal that TomGirl had been a :ruse: all along. A :medallion: forms around Chris' neck out of thin air and shoots a bolt of lightning, zapping Clyde to the extreme. The :pickleman: flee the courtroom in terror. Chris takes the crying Barb by the hand and says "It's okay now Barbara Anne". "No, it's not!" replies Barb, weeping uncontrollably. "Why not, Mother?" Chris retorts. "Because... Clyde was your father! You just killed your father!" Upon hearing this news Chris shits his pants and does nothing. As he leaves his Mother in the court and walks out the door, a gang of trolls gather and begin to sing the chris re-mix of "I Want it That Way" by the Backstreet Boys.
 
How many continuances has this been? Usually, at some point, do they not need to have a trial or is there a limit as to how many continuances he can get out of this?

Any lawyers in the audience can elaborate on this?
 
Ronin369 said:
Will the Gamestop Employee, whom Chris assaulted, be required to make an appearance in the courtroom?
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If Chris insists on a real trial, the dude massed will have to show to give Chris his confrontation clause rights. IF they schedule a real trial we'll know ahead of time because the court date will be at a different time probably and they will issue whitness summons and stuff. He could plea out at any time though.
 
after leaving the court, chris goes into a local stage theater.
luckily a comedy is playing.
as mayor he gets the best seat, a balcony close to the stage.
enjoying the play thus far, in a few moments the following happens:
a ruslting, the curtains behind his seats open
a voice yells the next line of the play
SNERGEN SEMPER TYRGEN
chris has been shot
the sonichus plot to overthrow the mayor has worked
if the court can't see justice, then wild sonichu will
wild turns the gun to himself. he will get his reward.
sonichu has assumed control.
his blarm arm banded arm seizes the mall.
 
Is it just Chris and his entourage going to these dates? Does the guy from Gamestop come as well, or does that only happen if there's a trial?
 
They did a prelim last time. I doubt there's a continuance this time. Punishment in the form of much-needed therapy, which Chris will make sure doesn't help him in any meaningful way. This ought to constitute the absolute last get-out-of-jail-free card Chris gets to play for a serious crime. But I think the clearly retarded man dressed like a woman and acting like a little kid will skate by one last time.

Now give my your optimistic ratings.
 
waffle said:
If Chris insists on a real trial, the dude massed will have to show to give Chris his confrontation clause rights. IF they schedule a real trial we'll know ahead of time because the court date will be at a different time probably and they will issue whitness summons and stuff. He could plea out at any time though.
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I don't think they'll need to use any witnesses if the prosecutor has the video. What can a witness really tell the jury the video can't? This isn't about motive, Chris released a noxious gas in public and directed it toward an employee that was doing nothing to harm him. Doesn't matter why he did it, it would just be a question of if he did it, and the film answers that.

I've had a lot of deadbeat fuckup friends, and when they've done stupid shit, their court sagas last a good six months to a year unless they pay a lot for a great lawyer that cuts a plea in the first month or two. The prosecutor and the defender are probably going back and forth on the details of the plea, which would be something like pick a combination from this list: 1. Straight jail time or do a few weekends in jail, 2. Community Service 3. Fines 4. Probation duration 5. Drug Testing 6. Counseling 7. Fill in the ______. Drug testing isn't relevant here, and Chris is probably dead set against doing any time and the prosecutor probably thinks no time is too light for what is basically assault. Probably everybody thinks community service is a bad idea, and he probably won't get any because he's a special individual that wouldn't be able to cope in public.

The funny thing is, where I live, Chris and Barb are exactly the kind of people that would qualify to have people doing court ordered community service come and mow their yard.
 
LordCustos3 said:
I never thought of it that way. When you phrase it like that, it sounds menacing and tyrannical.
"Listen, and understand! That Commonwealth is out here! It can't be bargained with! It can't be reasoned with It! doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or impatience. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are incarcerated! ....or acquitted. 'Coz that happens too, if you can prove your innocence."
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This is sort of what it actually feels like to be the defendant in a criminal proceeding. The state itself is seeking to remove your status as a full citizen and then imprison you. It's not fun.

As dumb as Chris is, I doubt he is so dumb that this doesn't weigh on him mentally.

ETA: My actual point is sort of directed to the "Chris needs to be punished" crowd. I'm just saying he actually is. It is no joke to be the defendant in a criminal case. It's bad news. Just being a defendant is punishment by itself.
 
In a twist, everyone who has crossed paths with Chris in the last decade will show up at the court house similar to the final espisode of Seinfeld.
 
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