Containment 24-Julay-2016 Taint Megathread

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You said a while ago, Classic Chris felt tremendous pressure to act tough because he thinks there is a need for him to appear masculine. He no longer feels that way anymore, but still talks up his life as if everything is great (unless it benefits him to appear miserable, such as when begging), and yet you have just confirmed that he is fully aware his life sucks. Is there any other reason he doesn't express his depression openly, now that the whole desperation to appear masculine is already out the window?
I'm by no means an expert, but I'm guessing he is expressing it, just not the way you or I would. Chris' method of dealing with these things is retreating into the imaginary world of cwcville where everything's great.
 
I'm by no means an expert, but I'm guessing he is expressing it, just not the way you or I would. Chris' method of dealing with these things is retreating into the imaginary world of cwcville where everything's great.
A lot of autistic people do that, it's because every single thing he has done to come across as a social success has bitten him in the butt or made people more abrasive. IIRC, Alec said that Chris does not think he is depressed because he is not jumping off of bridges or wearing black, which leads me to believe that Chris cannot understand the finer nuances of his emotions or motivations.
 
Chris is nowhere near an Aspie is on mental cognizance. All Chris knows are somethings about Chris, he does not understand himself or his feelings in relation to others, period. Well, scratch that, he understands that there are somethings you should not do, like touching others without their permission, and that's only after he had to be told several times. It's not that much stretch to think that he may be able to feel some deep feelings, but a lot of what he says, like his Sonic recolor, are borrowed from the experiences of others.
I think there's a distinction to be made between Chris' autism symptoms (theory of mind) and Chris just having weird tastes and being unintelligent. I think that he's very much on par with an aspie as far as the former goes. And in that same line of thinking, I don't think Chris is that bad at casual socialization. Aspies aren't that bad either. Sometimes they're awkward and sometimes you wouldn't notice anything. It's still real socialization.

Chris' bigger problems are that he's got weird interests and that he's stupid. But people are pretty forgiving when it comes to talking to stupid people, especially if you share weird interests (gay shit or nerd shit, in Chris' case). Chris does a decent job of exploiting those two loopholes when talking to people. No one's as uncomfortable as Chris' internet reputation would lead you to believe.

The stories of Chris' socialization IRL are mostly boring and uninteresting. It's not even uninteresting in an interesting way, like if you stumbled upon Chris actually having a brilliant conversation with some people in a bar. No... it's pretty much just stupid: Chris isn't grossing anyone out or offending anyone. He's just talking about family guy and being boring and stupid.

(That's most of the time, however. Sometimes interesting things happen. Like can the next tard who buys a video from Chris, instead of getting him rambling about cartoons again, get him to make a video talking about his interactions with transmen? Because I know Chris has talked to some transmen, and I'm curious about the details.)
You said a while ago, Classic Chris felt tremendous pressure to act tough because he thinks there is a need for him to appear masculine.
Do you have context to this quote? The reason I ask is because I don't know if I'd say Chris ever tried to act tough in general.

Chris usually reacts to a specific stimulus, and has a short memory about those sorts of things. Like a goldfish. So in any video where Chris is specifically trying to act like Johnny Bravo, that was almost always in response to a request by us no older than 24 hours. We would hype Chris up about how he's being called a pussy, and how if he doesn't make a video soon, he'll lose the rights to Sonichu. (I don't remember how we connected him being a pussy to him losing Sonichu, but I guess whatever it was, it worked.)

I don't think Chris had a drive to appear manly over a long period of time. Without stimuli like the trolls, Chris just kind of fell back into his natural state: being a manchild, playing with toys, and wanting his heartsweet to take care of him.

(Correct me if I'm wrong, I could be forgetting something.)
He no longer feels that way anymore, but still talks up his life as if everything is great (unless it benefits him to appear miserable, such as when begging), and yet you have just confirmed that he is fully aware his life sucks. Is there any other reason he doesn't express his depression openly, now that the whole desperation to appear masculine is already out the window?
Well, when I say that he's aware his life sucks, I mean that when things take a downturn, I don't believe he's surprised by it. He watches his and Barb's finances go up and down with the tides. He's used to it by now.

If Chris is acting cheerful, he's probably genuinely cheerful because Barb's been bitching at him less. But again, when things do go downhill again (and they do, every time), he's not surprised.

Oh, and as far as expressing his depression openly: that's literally what he's doing when he begs.

The only two ways Chris can fathom to fix his life are to give him money or give him a sweetheart (with the understanding that the sweetheart would dump Barb in a hole and he could forget about her).
 
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Do you have context to this quote? The reason I ask is because I don't know if I'd say Chris ever tried to act tough in general.

No, but IIRC it was about how he wanted to appear as alpha as possible in his videos so I think you got the context already.


Oh, and as far as expressing his depression openly: that's literally what he's doing when he begs.

What about being open with his problems like in those old letters? Is there a reason he doesn't open up like that in video form?
 
You guys should be psychoanalysts.

I didn't just say that for the anal part.
 
The only two ways Chris can fathom to fix his life are to give him money or give him a sweetheart (with the understanding that the sweetheart would dump Barb in a hole and he could forget about her).

Huh. I know Chris wanted Cole to come take Barb off of his hands so that Chris could go find "true love," but I'd never thought of it in terms of a sweetheart. It further adds to the fact that Chris thinks finding a sweetheart would solve all of his problems.

Chris probably thinks of himself as Cinderella, waiting for his lesbian princess to rescue him and take him away from this horrible life of caring for his elderly mother.
 
What about being open with his problems like in those old letters? Is there a reason he doesn't open up like that in video form?
You're talking about the mailbags, right?

I think the big part of the mailbags success was that they were portrayed as one-on-one conversations with real people, and it just happened that the conversations were published. It's obvious to us that they're not real correspondents, but I guess it wasn't that obvious to Chris. Chris got pretty enthusiastic when talking to his fans.

If someone got Chris to do a video mailbag thing, that might be pretty cool. The emails should involve things that Chris can kinda sympathize with, but still might grate on him a bit. Heh, gotta keep up a little tension. Don't make things too easy for Chris, but give him room to be emotional. (ie the naive approach would be to have 50 mailbag emails from totally hawt lesbians who want to bang Chris)
Huh. I know Chris wanted Cole to come take Barb off of his hands so that Chris could go find "true love," but I'd never thought of it in terms of a sweetheart. It further adds to the fact that Chris thinks finding a sweetheart would solve all of his problems.

Chris probably thinks of himself as Cinderella, waiting for his lesbian princess to rescue him and take him away from this horrible life of caring for his elderly mother.
I wouldn't say that the lovequest was started as a solution to his problems. I would instead say that Chris always thought not having a sweetheart was his only problem. Otherwise his life was bangin.

Now nowadays, Chris is indeed dealing with actual problems. The only solution he can think of is for him to find a girlfriend. Admittedly, that sounds super retarded, but I can clean it up and make it sound downright reasonable: the solution to Chris' problems is for him to find a fucking miracle. Because otherwise he's almost fucked.

I mean, there are support groups for battered wives and former cult members, but Chris doesn't have much of a support network for escaping Barb.
 
If someone got Chris to do a video mailbag thing, that might be pretty cool. The emails should involve things that Chris can kinda sympathize with, but still might grate on him a bit. Heh, gotta keep up a little tension. Don't make things too easy for Chris, but give him room to be emotional. (ie the naive approach would be to have 50 mailbag emails from totally hawt lesbians who want to bang Chris)

Putting Chris in a position with some pressure but flexibility always seems to yield more interesting results than those where he's simply forced into it. The Alec calls are much better insights into Chris and have much more comedic value than him humping his PS3 for 4 minutes straight. A PO-Box where people send him stuff could be fun way to interact and get some laughs at his expense unbeknowncest to him. That is, until someone goes too far and tries to anthrax him or some other ridiculous shit.
 
You're talking about the mailbags, right?

I think the big part of the mailbags success was that they were portrayed as one-on-one conversations with real people, and it just happened that the conversations were published. It's obvious to us that they're not real correspondents, but I guess it wasn't that obvious to Chris. Chris got pretty enthusiastic when talking to his fans.

If someone got Chris to do a video mailbag thing, that might be pretty cool. The emails should involve things that Chris can kinda sympathize with, but still might grate on him a bit. Heh, gotta keep up a little tension. Don't make things too easy for Chris, but give him room to be emotional. (ie the naive approach would be to have 50 mailbag emails from totally hawt lesbians who want to bang Chris)

You know, I kind of take that back, he did open up at least once, I simply forgot about it:


Still, my feelings about this remains the same, I wished there were more of these videos where he laments the shit he has to deal with in his life, while totally oblivious to the fact that he caused them all in the first place.

That video would have actually made it possible for people to feel sympathy for him, if he didn't make it so blatant that he blames every fucking body else for not holding him atop a pedestal.
 
I wouldn't say that the lovequest was started as a solution to his problems. I would instead say that Chris always thought not having a sweetheart was his only problem. Otherwise his life was bangin.

Now nowadays, Chris is indeed dealing with actual problems. The only solution he can think of is for him to find a girlfriend. Admittedly, that sounds super exceptional, but I can clean it up and make it sound downright reasonable: the solution to Chris' problems is for him to find a fucking miracle. Because otherwise he's almost fucked.

I mean, there are support groups for battered wives and former cult members, but Chris doesn't have much of a support network for escaping Barb.

Oh yeah, I didn't think that was the reasoning back at the beginning with the attraction sign and all that. I would guess it became that way shortly before or after Bob died, when Chris became the "man" of the house.

As far as support groups, there are groups to support people who are caring for elderly/ailing parents. Of course, I would imagine that Chris would flounce in, fart loudly, and say, "hm, yeah, who's gonna take care of my momma this week so I can go tribbing?"
 
You know, I kind of take that back, he did open up at least once, I simply forgot about it:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=HrdY2OWNKn0
Still, my feelings about this remains the same, I wished there were more of these videos where he laments the shit he has to deal with in his life, while totally oblivious to the fact that he caused them all in the first place.

That video would have actually made it possible for people to feel sympathy for him, if he didn't make it so blatant that he blames every fucking body else for not holding him atop a pedestal.
Chris can't do that or his entire world of make believe (his coping mechanism) falls apart, just like he won't admit to himself that he does not have autism, because he knows that true and honest women are less likely to have it, and when they do it's not as bad. There's a certain part of ourselves that always seeks to align our physical self and our accomplishments with that of what we view as God (we do this unconsciously). Chris views women as God because he thinks Barb is the only person he understands and vice versa. I know that some may not agree with me, but Chris' coping mechanism is built around being a woman, it's his last ditch effort to be anything in life and have a normal human experience, it's his last fight against everything he views as weak about himself. All bubbles were created to be burst.

the solution to Chris' problems is for him to find a fucking miracle. Because otherwise he's almost fucked.
He thinks that miracle is becoming a woman, the thing is, he has become intolerant to miracles, once he gets that one, he'll just be off on another one.
 
Putting Chris in a position with some pressure but flexibility always seems to yield more interesting results than those where he's simply forced into it. The Alec calls are much better insights into Chris and have much more comedic value than him humping his PS3 for 4 minutes straight.
Admittedly, the various humiliation videos we've extracted from Chris over the years ended up being pretty dumb. But in our defense, there's historical context to be considered, in that at the time, no one thought Chris would actually do it.

It was intended to be the emotional equivalent of giving Chris a noogie or making him say uncle. When you make someone say "uncle", the humor isn't in the actual vocalization of "uncle", but the general act of publicly embarrassing someone. You're making them admit defeat.

What we didn't realize at the time (and learned by requesting those videos) was that Chris is incapable of embarrassment. Our attitude before the each video was like "oh my god, he's totally going to do it, whatttt" and then immediately afterwards "oh... huh... he actually did it. hmm. yep. Chris stuck his dick in the snow. Ok then."
A PO-Box where people send him stuff could be fun way to interact and get some laughs at his expense unbeknowncest to him. That is, until someone goes too far and tries to anthrax him or some other ridiculous shit.
Well, I mean, you don't even need a PO box. You can just mail Chris directly. Or call him. Or email him. It's just that Chris is deluged by tons of unfunny weens, that even if you do have a good idea, it won't get through.

I've been telling prospective trolls for year: you want to troll Chris? Ok, cool. Can you meet Chris IRL and are you a girl? Because it ain't happening otherwise.*

* Or, it's very unlikely. I can only think of one person that pulled it off since Clyde Cash. Everyone else who interacts with Chris nowadays has an "in" with Chris, or they paid Chris, or some combination of things like that.
You know, I kind of take that back, he did open up at least once, I simply forgot about it:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=HrdY2OWNKn0
Still, my feelings about this remains the same, I wished there were more of these videos where he laments the shit he has to deal with in his life, while totally oblivious to the fact that he caused them all in the first place.

That video would have actually made it possible for people to feel sympathy for him, if he didn't make it so blatant that he blames every fucking body else for not holding him atop a pedestal.
Chris has had other poorly lit, depressing videos like this. I think Chris is purposely setting the stage for Dark Christian to come out.

Yeah, in this video, part of it has some legit bad luck things that happened to Chris, part of it is Chris fucking stuff up. Chris doesn't really try to tell the difference between the two. Feels over reals.
Oh yeah, I didn't think that was the reasoning back at the beginning with the attraction sign and all that. I would guess it became that way shortly before or after Bob died, when Chris became the "man" of the house.
Chris is depressingly nostalgic for the Bob era of his adult life.
As far as support groups, there are groups to support people who are caring for elderly/ailing parents. Of course, I would imagine that Chris would flounce in, fart loudly, and say, "hm, yeah, who's gonna take care of my momma this week so I can go tribbing?"
Oh, taking care of Barb isn't his problem. Chris does that just fine. The issue is the situation she's going to leave him in when she dies. Barb has been diligently working to leave him alone in the world as a talentless, unemployable debtor. (Not intentionally, but it's not like you could tell the difference from her behavior.)
 
Admittedly, the various humiliation videos we've extracted from Chris over the years ended up being pretty dumb. But in our defense, there's historical context to be considered, in that at the time, no one thought Chris would actually do it.

It was intended to be the emotional equivalent of giving Chris a noogie or making him say uncle. When you make someone say "uncle", the humor isn't in the actual vocalization of "uncle", but the general act of publicly embarrassing someone. You're making them admit defeat.

What we didn't realize at the time (and learned by requesting those videos) was that Chris is incapable of embarrassment. Our attitude before the each video was like "oh my god, he's totally going to do it, whatttt" and then immediately afterwards "oh... huh... he actually did it. hmm. yep. Chris stuck his dick in the snow. Ok then."

Oh yeah, without those videos we wouldn't be able to say that embarrassing Chris does nothing because, a: he'll forget in a week. And b: it's just one more for the pile. My complaint is against 'trolls' who still do these things, like getting him to read that unfunny book. At the end of the day, Chris kind of embarrasses himself but no-one cares and he's 50 bucks up so who's the real winner?


Well, I mean, you don't even need a PO box. You can just mail Chris directly. Or call him. Or email him. It's just that Chris is deluged by tons of unfunny weens, that even if you do have a good idea, it won't get through.

I've been telling prospective trolls for year: you want to troll Chris? Ok, cool. Can you meet Chris IRL and are you a girl? Because it ain't happening otherwise.*

* Or, it's very unlikely. I can only think of one person that pulled it off since Clyde Cash. Everyone else who interacts with Chris nowadays has an "in" with Chris, or they paid Chris, or some combination of things like that.

These days Chris seems to be hit-and-miss. 'Arthur Spatchcock' got through, which was a surprise to me. However he also seems to respond to random comments he reads here and likely in his gmail too, though they're all rebuttals to money claims most of the time so he can still claim to not waste the money.
 
These days Chris seems to be hit-and-miss. 'Arthur Spatchcock' got through, which was a surprise to me. However he also seems to respond to random comments he reads here and likely in his gmail too, though they're all rebuttals to money claims most of the time so he can still claim to not waste the money.
Arthur Spatchcock had an in. And yeah, money is a useful keyword to possibly get Chris to respond, but even then, I don't think he has much patience.
 
Putting Chris in a position with some pressure but flexibility always seems to yield more interesting results than those where he's simply forced into it. The Alec calls are much better insights into Chris and have much more comedic value than him humping his PS3 for 4 minutes straight. A PO-Box where people send him stuff could be fun way to interact and get some laughs at his expense unbeknowncest to him. That is, until someone goes too far and tries to anthrax him or some other ridiculous shit.
As much as I'd love for Chris to open a PO box and do unboxing videos (if he actually would do them, which he probably wouldn't) he'd probably close the mailbox immediately when someone sent him a tupperware of horse shit or a can of that fish from Sweden that smells like death.
Though seeing Chris' reaction after discovering how smelly that fish is would be priceless.
 
Oh yeah, without those videos we wouldn't be able to say that embarrassing Chris does nothing because, a: he'll forget in a week. And b: it's just one more for the pile. My complaint is against 'trolls' who still do these things, like getting him to read that unfunny book. At the end of the day, Chris kind of embarrasses himself but no-one cares and he's 50 bucks up so who's the real winner?
It's really not that much, if you think about how Chris is wasting it. The only place you can find in this situation is that things will either dry up completely or Chris will increase the crazy to draw in more revenue.
One word of caution, I think we should document and laugh at these dumb financhully sponsored videos, but we should also not get angry or frustrated over stupidity, it's only feeding the weens.
 
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