DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

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He's already planting the full-disablility seeds. In his mind if he claims back problems enough on Youtube that qualifies - we all know he hasn't been to a doctor and there aren't any who would go along with it.
Imagine Phil claiming disabilities benefits

"Dood I have a severly herniated disc in my back I am crippled. And there are these trolls who ruin my mind every day". "Ok Mr Burnell we will make an evaluation"
Days later "Mr Burnell we found nothing. You are just an asshole"
"These detzractoirs are eveywhere! they ruined my chance of getting benefits! *snortt*
 
Phil would probably have better luck with a psychiatric illness of sorts. (Hello late diagnosed autism!)

Crippling anxiety would be an obvious one for Phil. Not only is it something that’s impossible to test for properly.
(“Do you suffer panic attacks?” “Yes! Every day!”)

Phil also has literally tens of thousands of Google results that could make some quack doctor diagnose him with PTSD or some shit like that.

The whole way the SSDI system is set up, also pretty much means that if you keep at it for long enough, sooner or later you’ll get it.
I could see him scamming disability through Meniere's disease like Jason Blaha does
 
"To be considered for disability benefits due to an anxiety disorder, Social Security requires medical evidence that you have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, and that as a result of this condition you have been unable to work for at least 12 months. Based on your current income and work history, you may apply for Social Security Disability (SSD) and/or Supplemental Security Income (SSI) benefits."

I wonder how the whole SSI/SSDI system views streaming? But based on what I know about these kinds of places, I absolutely wouldn’t be surprised if they’re a decade stuck in the past.

And that Phil (if he applied today) technically met the requirements as having been unable/out of work for the past 12 months.

(If Phil was smart, he’d lay the groundwork for this now, instead of in 1-2-3 years when it’ll probably be necessary.)

The ironic thing of course would be, that while Phil would be able to stream and still make some money, there’s a strict limit on how much he can make. (Unless @Null also takes mercy on DSP and makes him an LLC!)

The purpose of troll tipping would switch from having him read something stupid/insulting, to tip so much that he’d lose his hard won SSDI.
 
With the millions Phil has made over the past decade+, I'm confident he'll never get accepted for SSI/SSDI simply because he'd have to prove where all that money went. And they'll actually check that, unlike Nancy.
 
Imagine Phil claiming disabilities benefits

"Dood I have a severly herniated disc in my back I am crippled. And there are these trolls who ruin my mind every day". "Ok Mr Burnell we will make an evaluation"
Days later "Mr Burnell we found nothing. You are just an asshole"
"These detzractoirs are eveywhere! they ruined my chance of getting benefits! *snortt*

“I kid you not, these fackheads with nothin better to do, started to BOMBARD the dahctah with calls! Phil is faking it, I saw Phil lift a 100lb crate and on and on. Finally the dahctah said: ‘Phil! I know you from YouTube and I know and respect your legacy. You did everything right and have every right to disability, but we just can’t do it, because who knows what these psychopaths would do to the local SSDI office, right?’ *SNORT* So they disapproved my application and I can try to appeal, but I really need you pahsitive support right now!”
 
Not to give you any more work to do but I would be curious to see what the distribution of tips looks like plotted on a histogram. Based on the low mean values and relatively high SDs my intuition says it will be a heavily right skewed distribution with inflection points at certain common tip values (e.g. $25, $37). In which case, common measures of central tendency such as mean and SD lose some of their usefulness as summary statistics. The median along with a boxplot showing each quartile might be a more informative. Maybe I'll whip something up later after I've finished my work.
 
Any story Philroach tells that includes his trademark "I really need those tips right now" anywhere in it is automatically 100% a bullshit grift to me. I simply cannot believe any more that he is capable of going there once the drama is real. This is the same guy who told the hospital story because he didn't care about Leanna's privacy, he was inconvenienced and therefore HAD to let loose, then got tight-lipped about the subsequent break-up because talking about it meant delving into a subject that, unlike his ex-girlfriend's trip the ER, actually hurt his feelings.

Color me doubtful that he'll find the divorce saga to not play hell on his emotions even more. He doesn't even use his obvious dental problems for pitybux.
 
“I kid you not, these fackheads with nothin better to do, started to BOMBARD the dahctah with calls! Phil is faking it, I saw Phil lift a 100lb crate and on and on. Finally the dahctah said: ‘Phil! I know you from YouTube and I know and respect your legacy. You did everything right and have every right to disability, but we just can’t do it, because who knows what these psychopaths would do to the local SSDI office, right?’ *SNORT* So they disapproved my application and I can try to appeal, but I really need you pahsitive support right now!”

The low effort and easy nature of talking and arguing like Phil blows my mind every time. He's that much of a simpleton.
 
Hey, Phil, if you're still reading the farms, please give us your take on Destiny 2's upcoming expansion and its future. We're just DYING to know what the "realest motherfucker on the internet" has to say about it.
 
With the millions Phil has made over the past decade+, I'm confident he'll never get accepted for SSI/SSDI simply because he'd have to prove where all that money went. And they'll actually check that, unlike Nancy.
What do you mean? It all went to bills. Are you saying our courts aren't filled with mature adults who understand how real life works?
 
What do you mean? It all went to bills. Are you saying our courts aren't filled with mature adults who understand how real life works?
There are enough benefit cheats in America that combined with Phil’s luck I am convinced not only would he get away with it until the day he died, he would occasionally receive additional payouts due to distribution errors.
 
Any story Philroach tells that includes his trademark "I really need those tips right now" anywhere in it is automatically 100% a bullshit grift to me. I simply cannot believe any more that he is capable of going there once the drama is real. This is the same guy who told the hospital story because he didn't care about Leanna's privacy, he was inconvenienced and therefore HAD to let loose, then got tight-lipped about the subsequent break-up because talking about it meant delving into a subject that, unlike his ex-girlfriend's trip the ER, actually hurt his feelings.

Color me doubtful that he'll find the divorce saga to not play hell on his emotions even more. He doesn't even use his obvious dental problems for pitybux.
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"So guys..... As you know, yesterday was Jasper's vet appointment... And the bill was 600 DOLLARS!!! So, if you like me and my streams, and hell you even just like my CAT... I'd really really appreciate the help via tipping. Okay? Sound good? Fair enough? Alright? Alright."
 
Heart attack/stroke/aneurysm/embolism/blood in stool and/or urine.

Select your favorite “oh shit” health scenario.
Stroke. That's the whole reason why I exist in this thread. Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!

Does that throne have lumbar support though?
Thrones are for idiots who can't appreciate Chinese quality.

This! All of fucking this!

Phil throws spaghetti at the wall hoping that ANYTHING sticks, to where he can be "successful" in his eyes. When he brought up that fucking Tekken trophy from 1997, while saying "Looking at this makes me feel good." shows that dude is holding onto ANYTHING of noteworthy in his past, as he knows he's a fucking loser. Dude is a real life Al Bundy - and that trophy is part of his 4 touchdowns in one game - which he gloated last night. He's unemployable, he KNOWS he's the laughingstock of the internet, and he hates his life.
Maybe I am late but are there Al Bundy memes of Phil (and Khet)? If not, let's go!
 
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what if phil worked out like low tier god? how would that have effected his career?
he might have learned an ounce of self discipline and then carried that into other areas of his life and been a completely different person than the mashed potato man he is now.
Lucky for us, he has a pre-packaged excuse on why he can't work out. His back is bad, and his arm's backs are bad, and his leg's backs are all too bad to isolate and work them individually.
 
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