DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

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SkippyLongbottom said:
Why doesn't he ask his gamer wife on this shit?
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"Phil I told you don't call me when I'm out! The detractors will hack and track your call to me, okay? And......um, a little busy right now......."

"Yeah I'm at the Jim with Tyrone for a quick full body workout, will be home to shower later don't wait for me to sleep, and for fuck sake I'll tell you one last time stop feeding Jasper your gouty beard!"
 
Shabobus said:
They're both showboaters. But Mr. Satan protected a puppy from a vicious alien, loved his daughter, and trained to better himself.
Phil can't be bothered to clean his cat's litterbox, forbid his daughter from going to the hospital, and has somehow grown worse at games despite doing nothing but gaming for over a decade.
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There’s being a buffoon and then there’s being a malicious buffoon. I’m not being hyperbolic when I say that I cannot think of an instance of Phil going out of his way to be kind to anyone without standing immediately to gain from it. On top of just being stupid and incompetent he is spiteful, petty, dishonest, selfish, manipulative and ungrateful. You want to root for flawed characters because you can see a glimmer in them of their better selves and you cheer them through adversity because through adversity comes growth. Phil may have places to grow but he doesn’t want to, and he flatly refuses adversity. This is what tears down his underdog act. The underdog you want to win. You don’t ever want to see an underdog get trapped under the wheels of a bus and dragged for seventeen miles.
 
Pargon said:
This is what tears down his underdog act. The underdog you want to win. You don’t ever want to see an underdog get trapped under the wheels of a bus and dragged for seventeen miles.
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That and the fact that Phil himself never allows a win for himself or his paypigs.
Remember how that statistic of DSP having the single most "generous" viewers on Twitch became a detractor meme? Or how the Vest Streak was entirely invalidated by chargebacks? DSP knows he needs to maintain the victim narrative for why he's so obscure and unpopular compared to other streamers who "don't work as hard as he does". So he can never allow his streams to be crisis-free.
The few times he does let it slip that his streams are in a good position like how the new Xbox made the trolls SEETHING or he's not actually in danger of getting kicked out of his house so trolls are SEETHING...they usually come to bite him in the ass with lower stream attendance or people getting disillusioned and ponying up less money. So he has to keep the bragging down low, at least until a troll manages to poke a soft spot.
Maybe ONE day I'll get a new PC, you guys...
 
Radical Goodspeed said:
Destiny 2, a game that has been unkillable on at least 2 and a half console generations. It would be on brand for Phil to call Destiny 2 an obscure failure.



The FFXIII series is my personal favorite that Phil shat over, and for the life of me, I don't recall him ever actually playing the series. There's the unboxing, and the final boss where he watched another LPer finish the game.
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Can you believe the bozo actually had an entire channel dedicated to FF XIII?
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JimiHendrix said:
mr.satan at least saved the world once.
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He saved the world twice. One when he threw Android 16 head at Gohan which triggered him to go SS2. Then second when he convinced the humans to help with the Spirit Bomb against Buu. And the Buu one was him saving the Universe. So Satan saved the world once and the Universe once. Phil saved money by letting his cat suffer a couple of days so he doesnt have to pay those thousand dollar emergency vet bill. Phil is useless and more of a villain than Frieza.
 
DukeMorty said:
He saved the world twice. One when he threw Android 16 head at Gohan which triggered him to go SS2. Then second when he convinced the humans to help with the Spirit Bomb against Buu. And the Buu one was him saving the Universe. So Satan saved the world once and the Universe once. Phil saved money by letting his cat suffer a couple of days so he doesnt have to pay those thousand dollar emergency vet bill. Phil is useless and more of a villain than Frieza.
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Mr Shu ( yes the one Chi Chi threw through a window) is a better character than Phil. He has a whip n hes less of an ass than Phil!
 
Pretty Boy Extremism said:
I remember this was back when channels were hit by copystrikes I think so Phil had the bright idea of making separate channels for each game so that if one channel gets copystrikes he at least has other ones to upload to.
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ya, he had one for Final Fantasy, one for RedDead and one for street fighter I believe.

one of them was also hacked and made into a soccer youtube channel by Brazilians.
 
King of Hateful Slurs said:
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Inb4 he kisses the games ass for the entire playthrough because he finally got a positive Twitter interaction
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here's the link to the dev's tweet

he has microsoft's dick so far down his throat, atleast when ppl shill, they do it for money, dave will happily do it for free

it reminds me of when he was playing one of the cut-scene simulators, the one where he said the nigger was gonna steal someone's purse, he mentioned how he has so much influence on making gamepass games successful because his audience will play every gamepass game he does

now he's acting as if he's doing the devs of this game a favour
 
I wanted to highlight a marginally interesting addition to the spreadsheet I made awhile back without really mentioning it, which is tracking of AVERAGE TIPS and STANDARD DEVIATION (STDEV). This is going to be some gay math shit so please feel free to skip over.

1629874493004.png


TL;DR: It seems that overall, in the last several months there has been a decreasing trend of super gigantic single whale tips (especially compared to the 1-2 months following the Twitch de-partnering).

We have traditionally looked at the total $ value of tips to determine how Dave is doing in the grifting department, but there are a couple other interesting metrics we can use to look at more specific trends embedded in the overall data. Namely, average tip ($) and STDEV.

Let's look at the columns and see what they mean:

1. Total ($): Self explanatory, this is the total $ value of tips received for that month.

2. # of tips: This is the total number of tips received regardless of their individual value. This number has particular importance in regards to PayPal fee calculations. Here is an example.
- If Dave was tipped $2.50 a hundred times, his gross amount would be $250, and net amount after fees would be $193.78.
- Compare to if he was tipped $5.00 fifty times, his gross amount would still be $250, but his net amount after fees would be $218.28 (an increase of ~12%).

3. AVG tip ($): Simply the total value divided by total # of tips. A higher average value means that the general percentage of tips received are higher. Note that this value gets a bit skewed by super large tips, which is where Standard Deviation can help out a bit.

4. STD DEV: The Standard deviation is used to measure VARIATION or DISPERSION in any given data set. My background is in biomedical sciences so standard deviation is something that will always be assessed in medical studies, research papers, etc. The STDEV can range anywhere from ZERO to INFINITY (it can never be negative). As we can see with the image I posted, the STDEV started out largest at 36.0, and has trended down every single month after that. So what does this mean exactly?

The 68–95–99.7 rule​

This rule states that 68% of all values in a normal distribution will be within 1 STDEV of the MEAN (or AVG tip in this case), 95% within 2 STDEV, and 97.7% within 3 STDEV.
For example: Let's say that Dave had an AVG TIP of $7.00 and a STDEV of 10.0. That would indicate that 68% of all tips received that month were <$17, 95% of all tips received were <$27, and 97.7% of all tips received were <$37.

In May 2021, he had not only a high AVG tip amount, but also a very much higher than usual STDEV. If we look at the following image it's easy to see why, the majority of his insane megatips were given in May, with some scattered in June and July, and basically nothing >$100 in August.
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WHAT DOES THIS MEAN AND WHO GIVES A FUCK?
When DSP gets a $200, $500, or $1000 donation, what sort of meaning is behind it compared to a $25 or $50 donation? The answer in my opinion, is hype.

I've always been of the opinion (along with many of you I suspect) that DSP needs drama to consistently pull in whales. Remember, whales make up the lion's share of his donations -- HE NEEDS THEM TO KEEP PULLING IN A SIX-FIGURE ANNUAL INCOME. His biggest drama of the last couple years occurred with his de-partnering and move to YouTube. This generated a supernova of hype that reached across the autism vortex and brought in whales and wheelchairs alike to give tribute to the pigroach. This downward trend is signaling to me that he's falling back into an equilibrium, and if the whale tips are decreasing, then that means he needs to lean more into his fifty bit bitches for support (your carltonjuniors, snowkarls, RomeyROs, Rob Matthews, etc.) With the STDEV on an obvious downward trend, it's clear that the megatips that he has taken completely for granted have begun drying up. (note that if for example a $1000 tip was broken up into smaller chunks, that would drive up the AVG tip and drive down the STDEV).

Why is this a problem? DSP has very clearly begun to openly antagonize this demographic through CONSTANT begging, obvious lying, and inability to draw in new support. It is theoretically a lot easier to hook in an alfredaponte than an OnlyIcedCoffee, and he's going to need a shit ton of fifty bit bitches to make up for even a single lost whale. Obviously his remaining 50 bit bitches are either wheelchairs, trolls, or sycophants, but this logic should still mostly apply. I guess we'll just see if the trend continues.

I'm not sure if a single word of this was useful or interesting but thanks for reading anyway lmao.
 
King of Hateful Slurs said:
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Inb4 he kisses the games ass for the entire playthrough because he finally got a positive Twitter interaction
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Lololol! Nothing like a pahsitive Twitter interaction to make Phil ecstatic and optimistic of becoming a big deal again!

Remember when some other dude (Projared?) got set on by the Twitter mob, and Phil’s tweet got big?

Phil immediately sniffed a chance for a “comeback” and made the most ridiculous hour(s?) long “debunking” video to “clear the air about misconceptions and detractor lies” for the thousands of new people he was hoping would be flooding his streams.

😂
 
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