DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[DSP's Tax Lawyer]

I know this has been said multiple times here, but please, Phil, could you just put the bare minimum effort in your uploads? This is just extremely lazy at this point.

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He has to drink gin man, he can't be bothered by simple things like uploading things in the correct order

What? You can't count? Don't you know that 10 comes right after 8?

Thats the kind of math that has you go bankrupt after making over 100k a year

 

[SaidNoOneEver]

weird that a majority of them have the same name scheme as a certain cuck and faggot whale i can think of, not to mention how they all type in the same manner as well

Yes and YT easily detects shilldupe fakery. How ironic would it be if his biggest fan causes sanctions against the channel?

 

[DSP's Tax Lawyer]

Yes and YT easily detects shilldupe fakery. How ironic would it be if his biggest fan causes sanctions against the channel?

Maybe DSP can go back to streaming on Blip.Tv

 

[King of Not Playing Games]

I tend to flip flop back and forth on this. I wouldn't say that it's related to Phil's stupidity, as much as Phil's ability to live completely in denial.

At the risk of sounding like an armchair psychologist, I think Phil's hermit lifestyle has definitely skewed his sense of reality. He's by no means full on crazy or hearing voices or whatever, but I think he's lived in his own bubble for so long and dismissed all criticism, that he actually believes some of his lies. Mostly about opinion based things, something factual, like Line or Champions, that he knows he's straight up lying about. But, him being mature and successful and everything, well, when everyone in your life tells you something is true for several years, you're bound to believe it. And Phil has made it where that's his reality. Yeah, he has detractors shouting at him about being a failure, and I do think in some gin fueled moments he actually reflects on what's being shouted at him, but otherwise, he's deluded himself into automatically thinking they're wrong and just jealous trolls.

He shows a lot of signs of this whenever he talks about anything real world. When he talks about expecting to get attacked while shopping or Walmart being an IRL Call of Duty match, he's being serious. Same with his excitement when the most mundane of things happens to him, like someone coming to check his alarm. He legit thinks it's a huge deal that requires 30+ minutes of explanation because how could anyone grasp the complex intricacies of a monumental event. Same deal with him insisting Jasper is actually his family, or his crazy theories about lag match making.

Someone made a post last year, when we were a good five or six months into quarantine talking about how much the isolation has messed with their general perception, and how it's crazy to imagine that, with the exception of his one day off a week, Phil has lived like this for years. And I imagine that person was still socializing way more than Phil does on average. Deep down, I think Phil knows he's a failure, but without anyone to hold him accountable, he has plenty of ways to hide from the truth. To sink even deeper into the armchair, I imagine that's part of why he's addicted to mobile games, because they provide a constant dopamine hit and tell him that he's winning by leveling up his wrestlers and unlocking new characters. He's constantly chasing the win, whether in mobile games, his "savage viral tweets", lean in banning someone or "going beast mode" against scrubs after tanking his profile low enough to be matched up with brand new players.

The best part is, as far as anyone can tell, Phil is just going to *keep* doing this. There's never going to be a point where calms the fuck down, shuts the fuck up, and starts interacting in normal human society on a regular basis.

He genuinely sees the rest of his life, anywhere from another 10 to 30 years, as sitting on his cheap Chinese garbage gaming chair, cheating at video games, lying about his addictions, and never going anywhere. He doesn't want to go to Seattle. He doesn't want to travel. He doesn't want to have friends or other people in his life.

The COVID isolation didn't affect him in the slightest because he's already mentally prepared to live like that for as long as he's on the Earth, and that's fucking depressing.

Oh and one of my very important posts got purged too so friendly reminder that OIC is in a findom relationship with Phil who verbally berates and emotionally belittles him for not spending more, and then OIC gets off to it and pays Phil for the privilege. Only possible explanation.

 

[Panda’s bouncing bosom]

What? You can't count? Don't you know that 10 comes right after 8?

Considering how he handles his financial numbers, I think that sorting follows his way of thinking.

 

[Guess i'm toxic now!]

Maybe DSP can go back to streaming on Blip.tv

He will for sure just move to another streaming service if he gets banned on youtube.

He is never going to get a job and will forever be bouncing around the internet.

After all, he prides himself on being "unkillable" when in reality he is only surviving because he isn't on the radar of popular or important streamers.

This is exactly why he is a cockroach, because those bugs tend to hide away and survive, and no one gives a fuck about them until they pop their crusty head into their lives.

 

[hundredthousand]

Maybe DSP can go back to streaming on Blip.Tv

That begs the question; if Phil was banned from both YT and Twitch, where would he go? Would he ever quit streaming? Would he just scurry to any shit-tier platform he can find so he can continue shaking pennies from his last 10 viewers?

I feel like the guy is so shell shocked at the thought of leaving his house, talking to people, and getting a real job that he would rather lose his house and everything else, and move back in with his parents to stream from his old childhood bedroom.

In any case, he is fucked in the future. When he was making all this bank he could've been investing it and saving it so he would be setup for life. With the money he made a smarter person could've already retired. But he has nothing saved and unless he thinks he's still gonna be making 6 figure when he's a 50 year old decrepit goblin streamer, he is going to find himself an aging man with no work history, no pension, no savings... and one hell of a wrestling mobile game account.

 

[Fapcop]

He is, but if he's not paying attention to the way his body matches that of someone far older than 39, I doubt he's going to cough once and think it's anything he should worry about.

Then again, that's assuming that Phil's silence on his obvious physical condition means that he willfully doesn't know something is wrong. Which I'm not completely convinced of, because he's not really going out of his way to deny the deterioration, like when he excuses himself from going to the gym by stating that he's almost skinny (even though he isn't, the fat is just drooping now), or claims his hair is thick and full now on top (even though it isn't). He just doesn't talk about it at all, like he does with his teeth.

Though, like everybody says, if he knows something is up (that's the only thing that would get him off his dead ass), why not milk it? One possibility is that, like I've long thought, Phil doesn't like grifting people with the truth. He prefers to be making up his troubles. He's not supposed to actually suffer, just be looked at as doing so. It's not worth it to him to bathe in cash while being legit sick or hurt, that means a tithe is being paid, a sacrifice, and we know how he is about making sacrifices for anything, ESPECIALLY money. Look at his game selection these days. Another fucking boring-ass walking simulator. Still expects to get a vest streak going with that garbage even though his paying audience obviously hates it.

Whatever it is, it's pretty serious if Phil actually tended to it, because this is a guy who only bathes twice a week and eats on paper plates all year round.

Phil would fucking love getting the coof as a fund raising excuse. And it would be glorious to see him try and fake it.

Phil appearing in front of the camera with a thermometer in his mouth and a thick sweater, obviously making him sweat.

“So it looks like I have the Covid, alright? *SNORT* I was diagnosed yesterday and the doctor was like ‘Phil! I know you have a legacy and a streaming career to look after but this is serious!’ *COUGH* But I can’t just let all you guys, all mah fans down, right? *SNORTT* So this is the way we will do it! I’m going to have fundraisers three days a week, right? To make kahntent for you guys and bring on money for the days when I’m getting bedrest, right? *SNORT* *COUGH* Because this is serious, right? I should be in the hospital, but I don’t want to let you guys down. And it’s mah only way of making any incahm so I hope you’ll be positive and supportive, right? *SNORT* OK?”


Alas, Phil is stupid, but he isn’t so stupid that he’d start making fake fundraisers, when his viewers are dumb enough to show up and donate to his already fake, weird ass “pre-emergency” fundraisers or whatever the fuck he called them.

 

[Coke Zero]

That begs the question; if Phil was banned from both YT and Twitch, where would he go? Would he ever quit streaming? Would he just scurry to any shit-tier platform he can find so he can continue shaking pennies from his last 10 viewers?

I feel like the guy is so shell shocked at the thought of leaving his house, talking to people, and getting a real job that he would rather lose his house and everything else, and move back in with his parents to stream from his old childhood bedroom.

In any case, he is fucked in the future. When he was making all this bank he could've been investing it and saving it so he would be setup for life. With the money he made a smarter person could've already retired. But he has nothing saved and unless he thinks he's still gonna be making 6 figure when he's a 50 year old decrepit goblin streamer, he is going to find himself an aging man with no work history, no pension, no savings... and one hell of a wrestling mobile game account.

We joke about him getting a job but he is actually really limited in what he could realistically do besides streaming. His employment gap and internet history will kill any chances of getting a office/professional job and if he goes for a retail job, that place will get lit up by prank calls and shit like that 24/7 once everyone figures out where he's working. His only option is something like a warehouse or factory where is not dealing with the public face to face. But with any kind of manual labor job, you have the fact that he's a complete pussy and can't do physical activity.

For someone who constantly brings up being an adult and being mature, he severely fucked up at being an adult to get himself into a situation where he is so unemployable.

 

[Dona Morte]

Thank you Dark Dave's mirror for this gem.

 

[Pargon]

So is there actually some emergency today that he’s going to talk about? I saw something referenced a few times but nothing sourced.

 

[TheGoutburglar]

He will for sure just move to another streaming service if he gets banned on youtube.

And continue claiming that streaming is still more stable for him than regular jobs ever were. Which is hilarious by itself, because he quit working regular jobs over a decade ago, that means he's assuming his supposed bad luck is ongoing, but somehow only affects 9-5's that Phil tries to keep. Not the streaming platforms that have kicked him to the curb, despite them factually having done so, whereas his 9-5's can only be speculated on. He has it completely backwards, which only serves to further cement our assessment that the pigroach keeps streaming because it's lazy. If he was logical, the streaming would be unstable and the 9-5's wouldn't because we don't know the truth with those. But then it would behoove him to have quit streaming years ago.

What I like even more is his lack of acknowledgment of what really keeps him from being gainfully employed these days, which is his rep, attitude, employment record, and mental and physical condition. Instead of agreeing that yes, he would probably bring a shit load of trolling down on the heads of his employers, he just asserts that he has bad luck for no reason and that's why he should keep streaming.

That's quite odd, for someone like Phil, who bitches about trolls constantly, to not blame them for getting in the way of securing and maintaining a regular job. Not admitting that he's a hermit with the social skills of a hermit CRAB, or that he has less muscle mass than the little girl he threatened to slap, sure, that makes sense. Flies in the face of reality, but this is Phil. But declining to say that if he got hired at Fred Myer's like Kat, KiwiFarms would ruin it in a day? Why not go there in his ramblings? He does it with sponsorships and the like. Why are we not the scapegoat for him being stuck streaming?

 

[／Ｏｕｒ Ｌａｄｄｉｅ／]

There's so many reasons I hope it's not the forbidden topic. But, it would also mean that Phil and Kat would have to... umm... mate. And we know Phil finds women icky.

This wouldn't happen. Based on old complaints from panda and his perennial insistence, if the horse ever trotted into the bedroom in a lingerie saddle and whinnied, "Dave, do you want to DO it tonight?" He'd immediately exclaim, "Oh my gahd dood, I can't look at that, I can't do that! I have a wife." And then he would look back down at his phone.

 

[Big Brown Schlub]

We joke about him getting a job but he is actually really limited in what he could realistically do besides streaming. His employment gap and internet history will kill any chances of getting a office/professional job and if he goes for a retail job, that place will get lit up by prank calls and shit like that 24/7 once everyone figures out where he's working. His only option is something like a warehouse or factory where is not dealing with the public face to face. But with any kind of manual labor job, you have the fact that he's a complete pussy and can't do physical activity.

For someone who constantly brings up being an adult and being mature, he severely fucked up at being an adult to get himself into a situation where he is so unemployable.

He did actually address that on yesterday's prestream and admitted that he's unemployable. Of course, he did it in the kahntekst of saying that normal jobs are unstable because of the American capitalist job market SYSTEM, MAAAAN, while his schtreemer job is the most stablest job of all time. He said that in the mahdern American CIStem the employer doesn't care about you and you can be laid off for absolutely no reason at all and there's nothing you can do about it! Which is funny because he still claims that Twitch terminated his partnership for absolutely no reason at all. But then again, expecting consistency from Phil's ginrants is like expecting that a jar of your own piss will eventually turn into gold.

 

[Balr0g]

And continue claiming that streaming is still more stable for him than regular jobs ever were. Which is hilarious by itself, because he quit working regular jobs over a decade ago, that means he's assuming his supposed bad luck is ongoing, but somehow only affects 9-5's that Phil tries to keep. Not the streaming platforms that have kicked him to the curb, despite them factually having done so, whereas his 9-5's can only be speculated on. He has it completely backwards, which only serves to further cement our assessment that the pigroach keeps streaming because it's lazy. If he was logical, the streaming would be unstable and the 9-5's wouldn't because we don't know the truth with those. But then it would behoove him to have quit streaming years ago.

The question will be how long Phil can compete with the ever younger getting competition. At one point who wants to watch him? I mean yeah there are his wheelchairts but at one point they get old too and might be looking for someone else. Or do you think they stay at his side forever with him being the center of wheelchairs?

 

[KD6-3.7]

For some reason I’m getting this hilarious mental image of Phil as a grouchy sex worker going: “It’s 80$ for fucking, 50$ for a blowjob and 30$ for a handy. For 10$ extra I’ll wear this hat, 20$ extra and I’ll wear a vest. Oh and if we meet today’s tips goal which is 100$ you can come in mah mouth!””

Not enough ass/anal/scat talk. He’s gotta talk about “my A-YUSS”, and “disgusting liquid Hershey squirts” at some point, since we’re dealing with bodily functions here, and the posterior and everything that goes on back there is where his mind always goes.

 

[Kaisaku Duze]

I sure hope Phil is ready for the cyberpunk hellscape future because it’s here.

This chick speaks three fucking languages, hosts things like virtual karaoke and drawstreams with her viewers, fosters interaction by doing things like asking how her viewers’ days are going, and ticks the requisite boxes of cute anime avatar and matching voice.

I’m not saying that vtubers are better than Phil, at least in that they take part in the same parasocial industry as he does; my point is to illustrate what is going to kill his streaming career dead. The kids and young adults watching Vtubers and cartoon avatars are not going to give a shit about an unwashed, unfunny, abrasive forty-year-old nodding off in between bouts of rage quitting matches in CoD.

Its only gonna get worse as time goes on, competition begets innovation and all that, and the vtuber scene is getting more competitive with every passing day. Hope Phil is ready to lose every single weeb from his streams.

 

[TheGoutburglar]

The question will be how long Phil can compete with the ever younger getting competition. At one point who wants to watch him? I mean yeah there are his wheelchairts but at one point they get old too and might be looking for someone else. Or do you think they stay at his side forever with him being the center of wheelchairs?

The bigger problem for the pigroach is that he can always be counted on to drive people away, no matter what. That's only going to get worse from this point out, as we can see from his increasingly hostile attitude towards his paypigs failing to give him the never-ending vest streak he wants. If it was just about money, he wouldn't hold a begathon guilt-tripping them into tipping big to help him pay the mortgage. Or he would, and just thank them for the tips. He didn't leave it at that, and isn't going to in the future. That much is clear. He intends to continue acting like no matter what he raises during begathons, what he really "needs" is to keep hitting the tips goal every stream. He has even said he "needs" it, claiming he'll be good, financially, if that happens. Making up for any "slow streams" with begathons isn't enough, no matter how big the intake. They don't make him feel good six days a week, like a vest streak would.

Phil is already causing himself problems by insisting on the money being daily, and the longer the paypigs decline to relent, the angrier he's going to get, which only leads to less incentive to relent to his demand.

 

[Balr0g]

The bigger problem for the pigroach is that he can always be counted on to drive people away, no matter what. That's only going to get worse from this point out, as we can see from his increasingly hostile attitude towards his paypigs failing to give him the never-ending vest streak he wants. If it was just about money, he wouldn't hold a begathon guilt-tripping them into tipping big to help him pay the mortgage. Or he would, and just thank them for the tips. He didn't leave it at that, and isn't going to in the future. That much is clear. He intends to continue acting like no matter what he raises during begathons, what he really "needs" is to keep hitting the tips goal every stream. He has even said he "needs" it, claiming he'll be good, financially, if that happens. Making up for any "slow streams" with begathons isn't enough, no matter how the intake.

Phil is already causing himself problems by insisting on the money being daily, and the longer the paypigs decline to relent, the angrier he's going to get, which only leads to less incentive to relent to his demand.

Well his job isn't as stable as he thinks anyway. Imagine the Internet crashes in a few years or Youtube goes down in flasmes? What then? His legacy will be as dead as a feminist in Afghanistan and he won't have anyone whom he can reach. Then again he will be safe from internet trolls too but will work as a wage slave for the rest of his life. Or will beg the goverment for money which will never be enough for his current life style

 

[Full Race Replay]

You know with his number supposedly all over the internet, I'm very surprised detractors havent spammed it non-stop. Really. No detractor has sent offensive text messages or called him 24/7 to annoy him, even if he didnt pick up it would certainly interfere with his wwe champions and streams. And if he did pick it up what are you going to say? Dsp get a job?

AND YET...this has never happened. Curious. Almost as if his number isnt that widely available and detractors arent shithead mentally ill nudniks.

The guy (its the guy) deserves the wings treatment but is treated with kid gloves. The gaul of this man to complain about people investigating his lies and scams, laying it all out to see and not resorting to actual harassment.

I would not be surprised if Phil does get a large amount of troll calls. I bet Phil just leaves his phone on silent, doesn’t pick up any call that isn’t a contact, and maybe browses through the voicemail afterwards (or doesn’t, and asks that legit clients contact him through email)