DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[UncleFuckAss]

James the Lesser Express Lane might be the worst DSP detractor ever. The combonation of that shitty talking shiba, the Anthony Logatto tier ranting, and the whiny nerd voice is just too much. Even DSP is more based than that nerd.

 

[King of Not Playing Games]

Im almost positive DSP didn’t refer to his new chair as an “office” chair until he came into KF and saw everyone here laughing at his pisspoor buying decisions and Fischer-Price furniture with shitty ergonomics.

 

[marlintan]

i love the post-merge tag because we can immediately tell who will be the faggot in the thread

Highly optimistic freind.

 

[Stroke Face II Turbo]

Make it so that you have to solve a math problem in order to access the subforum. Math is a forbidden arcane art in Goutopia so nobody knows how to do math there.

Loophole: Tipping 1,49 $ to Null.

To Dave observational comedy is like rainy day fund, he takes the meanings of the words in the phrase literally. So "observational" in observational comedy is something he sees on screen and "comedy" is him goat laughing at it.

It's just a symptom of his very underdeveloped social skills. I am convinced that he was and, of course, is still a lonely person. He probably could never learn how "read the room", adapt to people and so on. I can believe Phil that he "copied" Howard Stern and other degenerates to become a hip teenager/30 year old lol. In his case it's just a bit extreme because when you weren't able to experience or rather learn from any meaningful interactions, it will be hard to course-correct.

My general assessment would be that he has a romanticized view of everything. He can't, just can't, understand that most things have layers to them. The art is not to see the surface and the obvious but what lies beneath it/different angles/consequences. He is a binary thinker. He lacks fantasy. He has a wife because men have wives.

 

[San Dimas High School]

Im almost positive DSP didn’t refer to his new chair as an “office” chair until he came into KF and saw everyone here laughing at his pisspoor buying decisions and Fischer-Price furniture with shitty ergonomics.

He was definitely calling it an office chair before the posts. It was bizarre. It's called the "Merax High End Gray Fabric Reclining Gaming Chair" for christ's sake.

It's also curious that he went on at length about getting a cloth chair because his cat shreds leather chairs. People are saying his cat is declawed. Is that true? Maybe he's saying Kat shreds leather chairs and not Jasper.

 

[Iron Hamster]

#DSPdobetter

A hashtag that will never get any traction.

The great irony of all this was his rant a month ago about how he doesn't have a desk because "professional setups" are sellouts and that he only plays games casually so he doesn't need "two monitors."

He has 3 (2 laptops and a TV) DEBUNKED!

 

[Si vis pacem para bellum]

i love the post-merge tag because we can immediately tell who will be the faggot in the thread

Ya'll scraped the skin off your ass no less lol. The big retard badge on them is convenient but there's too many. Just like there's too many Wings weens that float in here seething at DSP with their primary information source being Tevin speculation.

And that's with you being a detractor.

Can you imagine being a legitimate Phil fan? You spend some of your hard-earned cash helping Phil because he keeps telling you that he's in heavy distress and that it is only temporary and everything should go back to normal next week.

You then have some personal issues (that could have been avoided by you having saved the money you spent on Phil). You stay away from the Snortsphere because you have to work overtime to get over your financial issues.

You come back a month later, and the first thing you hear during Phil's prestream is "Just this one more hurdle this week and we should be good from now on, guys, but I really need tips right now!".

It's no wonder that Phil's fans are all retarded. Any normal person who ever supported Phil has been long gone.

I sometimes legitimately wonder if they're that fucking broken of human beings that they put up with this or if some of them have brain damage akin to dementia/alzheimers and cannot remember that he says this daily.

 

[Kornheiser]

How long will he bitch about the heat this week in Renton?

 

[username1811]

He was definitely calling it an office chair before the posts. It was bizarre. It's called the "Merax High End Gray Fabric Reclining Gaming Chair" for christ's sake.

It's also curious that he went on at length about getting a cloth chair because his cat shreds leather chairs. People are saying his cat is declawed. Is that true? Maybe he's saying Kat shreds leather chairs and not Jasper.

On the cat thing, hasn’t it been a few years now that most veterinarians have agreed that declawing cats is an inhumane practice and most won’t even do it anymore?

When you look it up, there’s so many articles out there in 2021 about certain cities/states either banning it or considering banning it. If Jasper was declawed, then Phil definitely shopped around for a vet that would do it. Phil does not deserve an animal.

 

[Si vis pacem para bellum]

On the cat thing, hasn’t it been a few years now that most veterinarians have agreed that declawing cats is an inhumane practice and most won’t even do it anymore?

When you look it up, there’s so many articles out there in 2021 about certain cities/states either banning it or considering banning it. If Jasper was declawed, then Phil definitely shopped around for a vet that would do it. Phil does not deserve an animal.

Yeah I remember there being a consensus that this was the case and he even had some slipup that implied they had to look around to find one specifically.

 

[Shirō Ishii]

Poor Phil is going to be dying in his office for the next 10 days. Normally a Phil with no money means more salt, but this time, I hope he hits his tips goal early just because you know he's going to bitch about having to wear his glasses, vest, and hat. I also won't be surprised if he gives a bullshit reason as to why he's not wearing it despite hitting the goal/coming back from break and just taking it off
For the Americucks:

For everyone else:

 

[Beverly Sutphin]

Glad to be back on the gout vortex with my fellow mentally ill detractors.



-Tin Foil Hat On
That said, I personally believe phil is on a steady decline both mentally and physically (shocker i know) lemme elaborate. As many of you have clearly noticed, physically hes looking ill and pale( not going out will do that) and mentally he's getting more paranoid/defensive than usual, going volatile at the blink of an eye. I think hes starting to feel the walls caving in, that slowly the rope is tightening and hes slowly forced to face reality. We went from "fundraisers will be a rare thing" to basically a monthly thing if not bi-weekly. Hes getting desperate to the point he wore the exceptional sonic hat and now has brought back Dsp Tries It Feasting with the king. It may not be the end of Dsp, but its sure as hell that is the opening act to "The Desperation Arc" where he will start to do shit that he normally or has said he wouldnt do.

-Tin Foil Hat Off

I agree that the rope is finally getting tight around the pigroach's neck. Reality is FINALLY setting in that he can't keep doing what he's been doing for YEARS now. He was SO adamant about not wearing that Sonic hat, but now, he wore it. I have a feeling if some wheelchair pays Dave enough money to put a toilet paper roll on his head, he'd might do it. I love the beginning of the desperation arc!

 

[strandedcastaway]

Yeah, it’s incredibly jarring to switch back to the DSP board when we have literal internet history in the making elsewhere on the site. Really highlights precisely how static and boring Phil is.

Definitely. Sure, Phil says crazy, stupid lies every day, but he never does....anything. Ordering fast food is a big event; leaving the house is incredibly traumatic. Phil's the old Breaking Bad meme: "He can't keep getting away with it!"

I think we watch figuring this will be the lie that will backfire, or he'll finally lose enough income to actually be broke for reals, or he'll just fall over from too much gin. We're all amazed Phil can keep scamming and lying and begging and it just never ends, just the same scams over and over and a dozen dumber people financially supporting it.

 

[Pargon]

Definitely. Sure, Phil says crazy, stupid lies every day, but he never does....anything. Ordering fast food is a big event; leaving the house is incredibly traumatic. Phil's the old Breaking Bad meme: "He can't keep getting away with it!"

I think we watch figuring this will be the lie that will backfire, or he'll finally lose enough income to actually be broke for reals, or he'll just fall over from too much gin. We're all amazed Phil can keep scamming and lying and begging and it just never ends, just the same scams over and over and a dozen dumber people financially supporting it.

I can only speak for myself but really the only reason I still care is to see the breaking point and to collect on all the bets I’ve made on what it will be when it finally comes.

 

[Madmartigan]

He was definitely calling it an office chair before the posts. It was bizarre. It's called the "Merax High End Gray Fabric Reclining Gaming Chair" for christ's sake.

It's also curious that he went on at length about getting a cloth chair because his cat shreds leather chairs. People are saying his cat is declawed. Is that true? Maybe he's saying Kat shreds leather chairs and not Jasper.

Phil just really likes to use the word "office", probably because in his mind that makes things sound super professional and business-like.
Back when he was with Leanna, he would constantly refer to "Leanna's office", and I know he's referred the room as "Kat's office", though perhaps with less frequency.
I guess I can kinda sorta understand him calling it Leanna's office back then, since she'd occasionally stir together a couple of chemicals in there for her soap "business" (another word he likes using to make things seem important), which may have amounted to $50 in yearly sales if she was lucky.
I don't know what Kat uses the room for other than playing Overwatch, so continuing to call it an office is even more of a stretch.

 

[Wasabi Panda]

Same reason as to why he works in an "office", why he has a "jahb", and why what he does is a "business" Gotta continue to LARP as a mature adult

basically like when you get a kid a chef outfit and kitchen playset or in phil's case

Amazon.com: Fisher-Price My Home Office, pretend work station 8-piece play set for preschool kids ages 3 years and up : Toys & Games

Amazon.com: Fisher-Price My Home Office, pretend work station 8-piece play set for preschool kids ages 3 years and up : Toys & Games

www.amazon.com

 

[marlintan]

For the Americucks:

Fuck you freedom hater!

 

[SirChipDouglas]

MvC2 Commentary # 4: Mixup vs DSP $200 MM (2004)

Footage recorded by Preppy.

youtu.be

#FREEMVC2

Free + DSP + MVC2 =

literally the only time in phil's life he's been charitable because he gave all those games and that $200 bucks away.

I know I'm WAY behind (forgive me for trying to catch up on days of comments), but the dude doing commentary over the video saying DSP is "free like Air and CostCo samples" was PEAK CHAD comment in this video LOL!

 

[Agent Proper]

A hashtag that will never get any traction.

#DSPgetaJOB

Will this work?

 

[kwagmyr]

Dear god, he literally is a pathological liar.... his version of the story is that they tried to fire him for using the discount for personal reasons.... that's literally the opposite of what happened! They thought he was using them to make money and Dave convinced them he made no money and wouldn't be doing it again in the future. So he took the truth that he won the appeal to make himself look like less of a shitbag for using (an incredibly miniscule) discount to attempt to make money and either failing to make money or successfully lying about having made any money. Ok, I'm 100 percent convinced he's a sociopath now. There was literally no reason to lie about that.