🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

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Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 127 13.2%

  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.6%

  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 529 55.0%

  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 232 24.1%
  • Total voters
    961
Naxra said:
Wait, what?

Which movie does his Molly Ringwald obsession come from then?
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I think it bled over from his Stephen King obsession when he caught some of The Stand miniseries on TV.
 
Rin said:
I think it bled over from his Stephen King obsession when he caught some of The Stand miniseries on TV.
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His knowledge of King almost certainly comes from movie/tv adaptations and skimming On Writing so that he can say he read it. Connor doesn't actually seem to enjoy reading much at all, and doesn't do it regularly. Very odd for a man who wants to build a career with his words, and extremely bizarre if he doesn't want to make it a career but wants it to be a hobby. Hobbies are supposed to be things you love.
 
The Dude said:
Snip
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I wish I had the Semper Fudge rating.

But you bring up a good point; Connor doesn't do much, and is willingly living as little of a life he can get away with.

This means he's got nothing to draw on but his 80's films and anime, which is why he leans on them and it's why any book he'd write would be awfully derivative & awful.

For reference, Chris' work is poor & derivative, but he has life experiences to draw on.

Tl;dr Connor's book will be bad.
 
Hellblazer said:
His knowledge of King almost certainly comes from movie/tv adaptations and skimming On Writing so that he can say he read it. Connor doesn't actually seem to enjoy reading much at all, and doesn't do it regularly. Very odd for a man who wants to build a career with his words, and extremely bizarre if he doesn't want to make it a career but wants it to be a hobby. Hobbies are supposed to be things you love.
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Come to think of it he obsesses over Silence Of the Lambs but never mentions Red Dragon or Hannibal. I wonder why?
 
Connor Bible said:
Seriously, I'd probably snap if I took five classes in one semester, had a minimum wage job AND was writing. Wouldn't exactly get along with friends and family well, either.
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Yeah, having responsibilities is a bitch isn't it but you really should give it a try. I remember carrying a full course load during the week plus a couple night classes on top of it my first year. Add to this a part time job waiting tables three days a week plus making time when I could with my GF and my other friends and living on my own.

All these excuses you give are just that, excuses. Sack up, be a man and stop being such a whiny little child.
 
Sable said:
Tl;dr Connor's book will be bad.
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It would be bad if he'd actually write it, but he never will. After people praising him for simply saying he was going to work on it (and Alpha Boy) he probably doesn't even feel the need to write it. Probably for the same reason he keeps coming back. So people can know he exists without actually having to do any work.

TL;DR Connor's really fucking lazy.
 
Ruin said:
Come to think of it he obsesses over Silence Of the Lambs but never mentions Red Dragon or Hannibal. I wonder why?
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I don't think they were as influential towards his ideas. Neither were critically acclaimed and most likely came out after he saw Silence of the Lambs.

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The red splotches are movies that I'm certain Connor hasn't seen in their entirety, if at all. The reason for this is, in November of 2013 he was still on suicide watch and his parents were limiting his internet and movie watching activities. In the past his mother has refused to let him watch scary movies because of how he gets. If you'll notice the movies he really wants to like all have pop culture references that the average person might know - "new flesh", the maggot birth, "this was a violent movie" and HAL. The others don't even get a blurb.

Yes, he could have watched Cannibal Holocaust, Tetsuo, Eraserhead, and Tenebre on YouTube... and I suppose he could have snuck in a viewing of those Cronenberg movies, but come on. It took him five years to watch Juno, there's no way he sat through 2001 which opens with 30 minutes without dialog.
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Hey guys. It's your favorite self-loathing, sexist, disrespectful asshole from South Carolina. I'm feeling fine today, in a Connor sort of way. At least I'm not thinking about death. It's a long, difficult road to become a confident, considerable, respectful member of society. I'm starting to realize that. I'm seriously considering asking my parents about volunteer work or maybe some minimum wage job. The money isn't that important, when you think about it.
 
Connor Bible said:
Hey guys. It's your favorite self-loathing, sexist, disrespectful asshole from South Carolina. I'm feeling fine today, in a Connor sort of way. At least I'm not thinking about death. It's a long, difficult road to become a confident, considerable, respectful member of society. I'm starting to realize that. I'm seriously considering asking my parents about volunteer work or maybe some minimum wage job. The money isn't that important, when you think about it.
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Bah, who cares, you're gonna give up within a week if you do so anyway. :alog:
 
Alan Pardew said:
>Asking your parents just to do volunteer work
:story:

How old are you again?
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I'm not falling for this trap. It won't work this time, Alan. The reason I'm asking my parents is because they have the experience and know-how to help me out. I'd build a work ethic over time, but I got to start somewhere.
 
Come on Connor you're a grown ass man you don't need mommy and daddy's permission to do volunteer work. Just go to the old folk's home and ask if you can play board games with the elderly
 
It's 11:51 AM on the east coast at the moment. In nine minutes, at noon, I'm going to write for an hour. Just an hour. And I'll post what I've written when that hour is up. Swear to God.
 
Connor Bible said:
I'm not falling for this trap. It won't work this time, Alan. The reason I'm asking my parents is because they have the experience and know-how to help me out. I'd build a work ethic over time, but I got to start somewhere.
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Will you give us up to the minute updates about how you're planning on doing it?
 
Connor Bible said:
It's 11:51 AM on the east coast at the moment. In nine minutes, at noon, I'm going to write for an hour. Just an hour. And I'll post what I've written when that hour is up. Swear to God.
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You're sure you're not gonna ragepost here about Null at noon then? :ween:
 
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