The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

It's a ranch in the middle of nowhere, filled with weirdos.
Capcom should use it for their next resident evil.

Resident Earl: The Ranch

 

[Runch]

It would be funny but irresponsible unless they’re extremely wealthy.

The flagpole is an easy yet short-sighted endeavor.

Step 1: start a farm directly across from them, except engineered competently as a constant visual reminder of their own failure

Step 2: dabble in exotic crops and offer them some of your bounty as a gesture of goodwill

Step 3: all proceeds will go toward charities dedicated to placing vulnerable trans youth into white supremacist dens

 

[AirdropShitposts]

If we're going to do a gayop, some Kiwi with $65K in the bank should buy the place across the street, put up a giant flagpole, and put a rotating cast of based flags on the fucker.

If you want to get extra fancy, get a black light put on the thing at night.

I want that fucker visible from every point of the tranch.

I wonder if you could get a 5x9 flag with Janet Reno's face on it.

You could probably get one of their beloved neighbors to let you put up a flag pole as a stunt for less than $65K.

Something like a giant American flag but with an reflective Kiwi that they'd only see through their tactical night vision scopes.

 

[Yellow Yam Scam]

One of you spergs should draw up a graph of everyone on ranch and what their relationship is to other residents. I think it would be somewhat illuminating since the tranch is a charity but most of the people who seem to benefit seem to do be in sexual relationships of some level with each other. Makes ya wonder a bit about what the requirements to joining the tranch are.

 

[auxcord]

I don't think that's artemisia/sagebrush; it's too big.

Does look like a paca browse line on it though.

Here's a floristic inventory from a NWR with similar habitat in the next valley over.

https://ecos.fws.gov/ServCat/DownloadFile/103529?Reference=64086

I'd guess Atriplex, Ericameria, Artemesia, or Tetradyma would be the options for the small shrubs on their place, but if someone with more local knowledge wants to take a scowl at the list, I'm open to alternative interpretations.

It could be sagebrush. They can get very large, depending on a few factors. But I believe it’s more likely to be some species of Ericameria, due to the color and the fact that they’re an early successional species.

also want to mention that what they are doing to the ecosystem is dangerous and can take years to recover (and thats with no grazing or maybe strict rotational grazing). There is absolutely no forage anywhere, which leads to greater soil erosion, less carbon storage, and of course starving alpaca

Spoiler: powerlevel

grew up in a ranching community and worked on grandparent’s ranch, now a ranch management major so i can pretty confidently tell you that a property their size is suitable for horses and maybe a few grazers but they’ve gotta go full cowboy and start using BLM land or buy a much larger property if they ever want to be profitable

 

[NOT THE BEEEEES!]

Poop.

 

[AMHOLIO]

Trans Davidians

I'm a big Kevin's Gate fan myself. Phil Logue and the Paca's Temple is something I've been trying to workshop.

 

[KooksandFreaks]

I bet Penny's arm-stabilizing sling is under a pile of dog hair choked Amazon boxes in the corner of his room.

Sex work is work and this is a working ranch, you bigot.

They're all bondage-tards so they think medieval torture devices are sexy.

I am also very interested in the insurance status of the Tranch. I know that the property was on the market for a while so it might've had some problems before they got there (granted this was before Covid made the housing market go nuclear, but still). Colorado doesn't actually legally require homeowner's insurance, but many lenders won't give you a mortgage without it. Was Bonnie's mom smart enough to get it before funding her failson's boulevard of broken dreams? Is the Tranch totally uninsured, in keeping with the theme of general, short-sighted incompetence?
Would insurance require them to maintain the property and not turn it into a shit-scented desert? How would you insure Jarrod Mugabe's scrapwood city? Can Kev get a renter's insurance policy for his toy-hoard?
So many questions!

Let's all pool our silver coins and BAT tokens. Kiwis together strong.

At the very least, some Colorado farmers should visit DenFur for a day or two and document the happenings.

 

[Taylor Swift's Ghostwrite]

At the very least, some Colorado farmers should visit DenFur for a day or two and document the happenings.

You would ask our Kiwi brethren to enter the Fur Den? To place themselves among the unwashed fur suits, the unchanged diapers? Nay, I cannot in good conscious advocate anyone does that.

But if any of you are furfags and going to be there be sure to take pics of the Tranch's booth plz.

 

[KooksandFreaks]

You would ask our Kiwi brethren to enter the Fur Den? To place themselves among the unwashed fur suits, the unchanged diapers? Nay, I cannot in good conscious advocate anyone does that.

But if any of you are furfags and going to be there be sure to take pics of the Tranch's booth plz.

Damn, Taylor Swift's Ghostwrite. You have the best advice. Sorry if I said something I shouldn’t.

 

[Trigger Me Timbers]

Just wanted to crosspost this from the Gibes thread (Gibes and his new boyfriend Bryan are in Wisconsin visiting Wedge and his boyfriend to watch surf ninjas in a hotel room.

I hope Penny is changing the locks whiles there out, the ranch's goto move for removing unwanted "trans siblings" is to send them out for something, (in one case it was a troon who needed to goto hospital for suicide watch) and when they come back, Penny said there trespassing and will shoot on sight if they come back).

 

[Stupid Sexy Flanders]

Just wanted to crosspost this from the Gibes thread (Gibes and his new boyfriend Bryan are in Wisconsin visiting Wedge and his boyfriend to watch surf ninjas in a hotel room.

On one hand, I'd doubt they'd be able to get rid of a long-term resident that easily, on the other hand it's the sort of immature move I'd expect from these cowardly excuses for men. It'd be funny if Kevryn was just thrown out like that and we got a moving home to mama arc from the amhole.

 

[Metal Slime]

Just wanted to crosspost this from the Gibes thread (Gibes and his new boyfriend Bryan are in Wisconsin visiting Wedge and his boyfriend to watch surf ninjas in a hotel room.

Don't know about the other cases, but Kevin is too high profile for them to try and pull this. He has a strong twitter presence, would absolutely escalate and his audience and the Tranch's are basically one and the same, so it would really hurt their grift to do this.

 

[AssignedEva]

Don't know about the other cases, but Kevin is too high profile for them to try and pull this. He has a strong twitter presence, would absolutely escalate and his audience and the Tranch's are basically one and the same, so it would really hurt their grift to do this.

That's a fair point. But between crowding out the bed with Penny and Jen, and no doubt pissing off Bonnie with his posts the other day about how he has his "dream job" (revealed to be "not working but just living with trans siblings" or whatever), I wouldn't be surprised if Kevin finds his living situation downgraded to one of the unpowered trailers/the unfinished basement when he gets back.

 

[Corn Flakes]

Don't know about the other cases, but Kevin is too high profile for them to try and pull this. He has a strong twitter presence, would absolutely escalate and his audience and the Tranch's are basically one and the same, so it would really hurt their grift to do this.

Kevin also has a large amount of possessions which Penny would have to return to him, otherwise things might actually have to get legal. And I have a feeling the Tranch doesn't want litigation or police anywhere near it.

 

[White Devil]

That's a fair point. But between crowding out the bed with Penny and Jen, and no doubt pissing off Bonnie with his posts the other day about how he has his "dream job" (revealed to be "not working but just living with trans siblings" or whatever), I wouldn't be surprised if Kevin finds his living situation downgraded to one of the unpowered trailers/the unfinished basement when he gets back.

Kevin also has a large amount of possessions which Penny would have to return to him, otherwise things might actually have to get legal. And I have a feeling the Tranch doesn't want litigation or police anywhere near it.

Kevin comes back to find all his shit moved to the earth ship.

 

[Chapstick4Lyfe]

Don't know about the other cases, but Kevin is too high profile for them to try and pull this. He has a strong twitter presence, would absolutely escalate and his audience and the Tranch's are basically one and the same, so it would really hurt their grift to do this.

Maybe Kevin's homecoming will be like the end of Old Yeller sans death.
Bonnie comes out with the shotgun.
"No Bonnie.."
"He's got to go, Penny. There's no hope for him now. You know we've got to do it."
"I know, Bonnie. He was my sex slave, I'll do it."
Penny loads up the shotgun, tears in his eyes.
"You go on, get out of here, Kath. Bonnie's real mad you ain't do nothin' round here. Eatin' up all that food, usin' up all that power..."
There's some pleading, but Kevin finally waddles off into the sunset with a backpack full of toys. Off to his next adventure.

 

[Brain Problems]

Maybe Kevin's homecoming will be like the end of Old Yeller sans death.
Bonnie comes out with the shotgun.
"No Bonnie.."
"He's got to go, Penny. There's no hope for him now. You know we've got to do it."
"I know, Bonnie. He was my sex slave, I'll do it."
Penny loads up the shotgun, tears in his eyes.
"You go on, get out of here, Kath. Bonnie's real mad you ain't do nothin' round here. Eatin' up all that food, usin' up all that power..."
There's some pleading, but Kevin finally waddles off into the sunset with a backpack full of toys. Off to his next adventure.

Hairy and the Transdersons.

Wonder if we can get Jon Lithgow to yell at the troons for us.

 

[Rainbow Frog Army]

Don't know about the other cases, but Kevin is too high profile for them to try and pull this. He has a strong twitter presence, would absolutely escalate and his audience and the Tranch's are basically one and the same, so it would really hurt their grift to do this.

Kevin also has a large amount of possessions which Penny would have to return to him, otherwise things might actually have to get legal. And I have a feeling the Tranch doesn't want litigation or police anywhere near it.

I think you're right aside from one minor but important thing: None of these people are capable of thinking.

We'd not even know them, if they were capable of thinking ahead, thinking their decisions through (in any sense), or just making good life choices in general.

Besides, the overall cycle of this thread is the brave transwymyn at Tenacious Unicorn Ranch proving us continually wrong when we say "They cannot possibly be that stupid..."

 

[Humbert Humbert]

Kiwifarmers, I got some updates on our Autistfarmers. The official tranch twitter is dead due to Penny being out of commission, the last tweets were them linking their articles and plugging their GFM and Patreon (yes, for some reason they have BOTH).
Would it kill Kevin to STOP BEING HORNY for 1 minute? Yes.
Apparently there was a radio interview.

Actual work was being done:

Spoiler: Video

Archive
And tacticool shit:

He did upgrade other necessary tools in defending his turf from Earl:

Spoiler: pics