The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

[The Elusive Earl]

Earl is not fat and I would have sex with him.

I'm flattered.

 

[Boards of Kuwait]

pretty sure this is just the new Fallout game guys

Delapitated building in a wasteland
Dying/dead animals
Mutants
ramshackle group of armed lunatics taking drugs and biology altering agents

 

[Apotheosis of the Liver]

What this points to for me is that the food is scarce enough that the dominant ones aren't letting the weaker ones who don't fight for it eat.

I think the larger problem isn't the amount of feed, but the distribution. You want the feed spread out, that way more animals can access it. Just dropping a round bale on the ground doesn't do that. It is why the Tranch should really build or buy an animal feeder.

 

[A Grey Cat]

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archive
Fresh yarn for sale! View attachment 2375229

Spoiler: Low quality product

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The ranch was boring today and I’m not uploading animal pics, except this one. View attachment 2375234

Spoiler: That barren fucking land tho

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That" wool" looks like they took the strings off mops and dyed them bright colors to see who'd be stupid enough to buy it.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Nah.

The glowie is the feed guy. For ranches/farming commmunes, it's always the feed guy.

And if he ain't a fed he's informing Monsanto.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

I'm a dumb idiot with a dumb idiot sense of humor. I laughed myself sick making this.

 

[Kalsarikännit]

I'm a dumb idiot with a dumb idiot sense of humor. I laughed myself sick making this.

That is one raggedy-looking alpaca. Why'd they turn their tranch into a mudpit? I missed it if someone explained it.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

That is one raggedy-looking alpaca. Why'd they turn their tranch into a mudpit? I missed it if someone explained it.

Short answer is this: WAY too many animals for the climate. Seriously though just thumb through the thread highlights and every question you could possibly have has already been answered.

 

[Aunt Carol]

I'm a dumb idiot with a dumb idiot sense of humor. I laughed myself sick making this.
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Karen alpaca wants to speak to the manger.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Karen alpaca wants to speak to the manger.

"These accommodations are unacceptable!"

 

[Marissa Moira]

Their alpacas are not even wearing masks or practicing social distancing

 

[Dr. Silvestrechu]

how come it's always MtF trannies sperging out and acting like retards. FtM do it too but it's like a 9/10 ratio when it comes to which side is having a fucking autism fit.

Well autism is more common in males

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

I wonder if all those little green tufts over their field are going to turn into giant useless bushes like the one in this picture. Does anyone have any idea what it is? If they don't get them under control (which may mean digging them all up by hand) then all their land may turn into some useless thicket of bramble/gorse/blackthorn which would be impenetrable even to alpaca. It would be truly bizarre if their land turned green again with something totally inedible.

It looks like what my parents called prairie sagebrush when I was a kid. Woody stemmed, smells good but it isn't grazeable for anything but pronghorns n mule deer and even they don't like it. Recipe for prairie fire in late summer too.

I concur with the Sagebrush (Artemisia spp.) however it looks grazed from the bare, outer branches while the top and center branches still hold leaf/foliage.

IF (if, not confirmed) it was grazed then it means the Alpacas, or at least some of them, aren't being fed enough. Animals will eat otherwise "inedible" plants if they are hungry enough.
Either that or wild herbivores are roaming the Tranch after dark.

"These accommodations are unacceptable!"

TBF to Karen Alpaca, she wouldn't be wrong.

 

[behindyourightnow]

This highlights another common dynamic: they know better than women. No, there's nobody on the Tenacious Unicorn Ranch who can knit, weave or crochet. No, they didn't talk to any fiber crafters about what crafters want, or what the market wants.

This is what they're making, and fuck you. It doesn't matter that it's alpaca fiber; this isn't the kind of yarn people use.

This is an underappreciated point. It was probably just a coincidence that the type of ranch they chose has an end product that is almost entirely consumed by women, but it has an amusing outcome: they are going to always make a shitty product because they are incapable of taking real advice from women.

None of these AGPs are capable of listening to women on a deeper level than 'are the words this human shaped object is saying affirming to me or not?' or 'can I imitate some of her phrasings later to sound more like a Real Girl myself?' Like you said, it wouldn't even occur to them to ask for advice, because not already knowing better than women on any given subject is a concept that misogynists simply cannot grasp. They are throwing their product out on the market saying 'yarn is yarn, go knit or whatever it is you ladies do' with no conception that there might be more to it than that.

 

[nekrataal]

I think the larger problem isn't the amount of feed, but the distribution. You want the feed spread out, that way more animals can access it. Just dropping a round bale on the ground doesn't do that. It is why the Tranch should really build or buy an animal feeder.

The money spent on their gay ass tacticool LARP gear could’ve went towards better equipment like a feeder.

It's always funny to see gun culture hybridize with left-wing lunacy. It throws into sharp relief how delusional the wider "tacticool community" is. The same kinds of people who would have been posing with katanas and fedoras 15 years ago are now decked out with night vision and XXL plate carriers. If the axe wound pus hits the fan ALL "militias" with meme vanity patches and bajillion dollar AR's, regardless of politics, will be hiding in their bathrooms furiously dilating and gnawing on dry Mountain House. Meanwhile random dudes in sandals will be indescriminantly stacking bodies for fun.

The amount of troons put on a pedestal in the tacticool 2A community is insane. They spend more time jerking off to girls frontline hentai and posturing online than they do actually practicing. Even worse is that troons like tacticool girlfriend act like lunatics online but get interviews from cringy LARPer sites like pew pew tactical where they can feed their narcissism while being treated like a hero.

 

[Iron Hamster]

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Paying any 'media' to write fluff pieces about you is still 'reaching out to the media'. And the excitement is finally getting away from weirdos.

 

[AMHOLIO]

Their alpacas are not even wearing masks or practicing social distancing

https://youtube.com/watch?v=ekBAvxd7QAM

Theoretically we could be turn this thread into nothing but cute animal video posting and have more of a positive impact on a large amount of people than the tranch does. The thread would smell less too.

 

[Marissa Moira]

Theoretically we could be turn this thread into nothing but cute animal video posting and have more of a positive impact on a large amount of people than the tranch does. The thread would smell less too.

If you're smelling things from your computer, the problem isn't the thread, the problem is you.

 

[Old Fart]

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I just got the educational answer to my question whether this green fluff was photographed on their property. So the answer is, yes, but it's still there because the the Alpacae won't touch it unless starved.

So Phil's suggestion that we make exaggerated claims of desertification is bollocks.

These goofballs couldn't even make 100k last more than a year month. They won't outlast shit.

Fixed.

 

[Norman B. Normal]

Probably. That's what "moderate amount of vegetable matter" usually means.

Spoiler: yarn sperging

I'm just baffled at the shit quality of that yarn. Alpaca fiber is so coveted and expensive, and here they are spinning it into shit that wouldn't even sell in the "on sale" bin in the Walmart craft aisle. It's so uneven and dirty, what would you even make with it? A blanket for a dog, maybe, and even then, only for a dog you don't like very much.
Except a blanket takes a LOT of yarn, so you'd essentially end up with a shitty $250 blanket. That's the other thing that gets to me - you can't do shit with barely 200 yards of yarn. Especially not with one as thick and lumpy as this one. And as another farmer already mentioned, alpaca yarn is mostly wanted in light weights, so you can make socks or maybe a light shawl or such - try making something like that with their yarn and it will probably look like Hagrid made it with two wooden spoons for knitting needles.

Also, the price is insane, even for alpaca. Let's compare: Here is a listing for alpaca yarn from a different company. It's $9.50 per 100-yard ball, and it's 85% baby alpaca (which is softer and more expensive than regular alpaca). The tranch yarn (archive) goes for $40 for a 210 yard ball, and it's only 60% alpaca. I know economies of scale must help with keeping the other company's costs low, but the tranch's prices are just insane even for alpaca yarn. I'm guessing their target demographic is SJWs who are casually into knitting or crochet, or have someone in their family who is, but have never actually worked with alpaca or have any idea of what it costs. They just know it's "expensive" so it doesn't seem weird to them to pay $40 for a single skein of shit quality yarn, plus they feel like they've done a good deed by "supporting these poor disenfranchised trans women"

"And the best part is that the wool comes from an alpaca ranch in Colorado that's run by trans women," she said. "It's a bit more expensive, but I think it's worth it. They're building a haven for LGBTQ people in a very transphobic area."

"That's great," he said. He itched so much and in so many places that he could actually feel a tear welling up in the corner of his eye.

"See, it's even got little bits of hay and stuff embedded in the fibers," she said, picking at the sweater. "Very rustic."

"Yeah, that's cool," he said. Every square inch of his torso and arms felt like they were on fire.

"It's a bit heavy," she said, staring at the sweater thoughtfully. "More of a winter sweater, I guess."

"No, it's fine," he said. He didn't perspire much as a rule, but he could feel great beads of sweat forming on his forehead and running down his face. Are my eyelids sweating? he wondered incredulously. Is that even a thing?

"I was thinking you could wear it tonight when we go out with Jake and Steph for your birthday dinner," she said. "How's that sound?"

"Sounds great," he said. There's only two months until her birthday, he thought. That's not nearly enough time to plan a proper revenge. I think I'm going to have to take some days off work.