Games Done Quick Summer 2021 Online - A.K.A. Trannies playing video games really fucking badly

[Antarctic Hellbeast]

There are a lot of great runs from GDQ, all past sadly. And chief among them is Cosmo's explanation of the Wrong Warp Glitch in Ocarina of Time from 2013. But this fucking Star Fox 64 score run is by far my favorite. Everything about it is perfect. And what blows my mind is that if you go to speedrun.com right now and look at the page for SF64, you will notice that these dipshits only have categories for speedrunning what is ostensibly an arcade game where you're supposed to get a high score. It is offloaded to a separate website! What the hell? Speedrunning SF64 is cool. I get it. But there's no high score category? Seriously guys? It's a fucking rail shooter, you can only manipulate the game's speed so much. At least have a high score category. It's not like that would be difficult.

Anyway. Play Star Fox 64 if you have some time. It's one of the few truly perfect games ever made. But it is also very misunderstood. If you see someone complaining that the game is too short, remind them that it's an arcade-style game and you are supposed to replay it and optimize your run.

How long until cheaters destroy HS leaderboards like every even remotely online one over the last 20 years.

 

[Radical Cadre]

How long until cheaters destroy HS leaderboards like every even remotely online one over the last 20 years.

alwayshasbeen.tiff

 

[Celebrate Nite]

So apparently this happened yesterday...

 

[Mesosalpinx]

Here's /v/'s run tier list, if you want to know what vods to avoid.

Spoiler: List

SSS: Sonic Adventure 2 | Maimai

S: Gone Golfing | Mischief Makers | Racing Pitch | Mario Kart 64 | Super Mario 64 Blindfolded

A: Max Payne 2 | Ninja Gaiden | Amagon | Penumbra | Bloodstained | Castlevania: DoS | MGS3 | Deadspace | Kororinpa | Earthworm Jim | Ghostrunner | Paris Chase | Tomb Raider | X-Men 2 | Halo 2* | I Wanna Be The Knight in Shining Armor | Streets of Rage 4 | Timeline | Opposing Force | Mega Man X2 | QuackShot | Rayman | Dark Souls 3

B: Mega Man X | Spyro | Kirby Super Star | Metal Wolf Chaos XD | Styx | Nintendogs | Gimmick! | SSB Brawl | Lego Star Wars | Metroid | Kirby | Super Mario Odyssey | Bayonetta | FAITH | Teardown | Blast Corps | Chameleon Twist | Castlevania 64 | Castlevania Bloodlines | Castlevania RoB| Castlevania (race) | Battletoads* | La-Mulana | Dishonored| GTA III* | RE7 | Coca Cola Kid | Twinkle Star Sprites | Republic Commando | Hitman 3* | Link Faces of Evil | Arabian Nights | Wheels! | Time Gate | Ristar (race) | SMB2 | Vanquish | Doom Eternal AG 1 + 2 | RtCW | Wizard of Legend | BOTW | Bishi Bashi | Storks,Apes,Crocodiles | Batman (Genesis) | DKC3 | Pokemon Emerald | Bowser's Fury | Super Metroid Race | Kingdom Hearts 2 Final Mix

C: F-Zero GX | Psychonauts | Zelda: OoA | Pikmin 3 | Startropics II | Tiny Toon Adventures | Batman (NES)* | Lodoss | Kirbys Dream Collection | Paper Mario | DMC5 | Yoshi's Story | Indiana Jones | Golden Sun | Ratchet & Clank | Crash 4 | Fight Crab | Tempest of the Heavens and Earth | Sonic Colors | Sonic 3D Blast | Pokemon B/W (race) | Heads Run | Charlie Murder | Contrast | Mega Man II | Ponpu | Sonic CD | Astro's Playroom | Factorio | Spongebob ToS | Let's Give Up | Super Meat Boy Forever

D: Dragon Age| James Bond: Nightfire* | MGS: PO* | Sundered | Ghosts 'N Goblins* | Shadow of the Colossus | Resogun | Vectronom | Horizon Zero Dawn | ME2 | Goose Game | Jazzpunk | Jelly Drift | ALTF4 | Outer Wilds | Destiny 2 | Manifold Garden | Celeste | Sonic Heroes (TAS) | DANCERUSH | Fire Emblem | Demon's Souls Remake | Mario Bros. 3

F: K-Shoot Mania | Cave Story 3D* | Little Nightmares II* | GeoGuessr | Majora's Mask* | I Am Fish | Black Mesa

*trainwreck

 

[moocow]

Here's /v/'s run tier list, if you want to know what vods to avoid.

I loved how much the posting and updating of this list in the various AGDQ threads enraged a handful of anons. It tended to be the same ones who also seethed about all the tranny jokes.

 

[Dumpster dived waifu]

Here's /v/'s run tier list, if you want to know what vods to avoid.
F: Cave Story 3D*
*trainwreck

As someone that absolute loves Cave Story and have seen previous AGDQ runs of the game that were fun/interesting, I'm appalled that someone would put together such a shit show... That said, I will definitely track this down later and hurt myself.

 

[Dumpster dived waifu]

As someone that absolute loves Cave Story and have seen previous AGDQ runs of the game that were fun/interesting, I'm appalled that someone would put together such a shit show... That said, I will definitely track this down later and hurt myself.

Documenting my run through so people can read my suffering:

Spoiler: Fuck this run

• Is playing Cave Story 3D, and jesus christ it looks awful.
• "Some of you may know Cave Story as that game that was made by one guy etc etc, but we don't care about that"
• Bitch, he's accomplished more than you ever will
• So, apparently their "remake" of the game is a buggy mess and that's why it's possible to do this specific challenge run of "Reverse Boss Adventure". Fuck you Nicalis, stop shitting on the man's legacy with your inferior trash
• I cannot highlight enough had awful the game looks
• VoiP is good awful quality, I'm having a incredibly hard time understanding them
• I can't tell if her explanation of the glitch is bad, or it's just incomprehensible because audio quality is shite
• Softlocked, kek. Going to have to redo the cutscene for the Balrog 1 fight
• "I'm collecting the map system so that I do not get lost, for no other reason than I don't want to get lost". I didn't play Cave Story for years, but when I picked it up for a new playthrough recently, I don't think I got lost once. How does a spedrunner for the game get lost?
• VoiP failure during an explanation, 30 seconds of explanation gone
• She's got the Booster Jet, King's Blade and Nemesis, and I don't know how
• Doing a glitch to get unlimited life capsules because she's afraid of dying. Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame
• These online only events are terrible, this runner physically cannot play the game and explain at the same time. She's stumbling over her words and poorly explaining everything. She desperately needs a "couch" to explain for her
• "We're going to do this glitch, how it works or why we do it doesn't matter"
• Once again, I stress that the game looks fucking awful. Do not give Nicalis your money for this shit port
• 20 minutes to reach the "1st" boss undead core, not a fascinating watch
• "The combat of this game is basically just spamming blade", bitch it is when you've given yourself 70 HP and can just do that
• She's explained at least 3 times now how the main glitch works, but I still can't fucking understand her or how the glitch works
• This is hell, please kill me
• This run is so fucking boring, it's going in and out of doors or save quitting every 5 seconds
• 40 minutes in, total disconnect and silence as we sit on the schedule page. Riveting. Run was down for 4 minutes
• "They added a lot of extra health to this version, but to be fair the game is fairly difficult", yeah maybe if you're strategy for fights is to facetank
• Random 3 seconds of Metroid Prime. What?
• Softlock, kek
• "You've heard of 3 cycle Balfrog, but we're going to be doing 2 cycle Balfrog", proceeds to 3 fail and 3 cycle Balfrog
• "The classic graphics version of this game are easily the ugliest version of the graphics", either the graphic change was insignificant, or she forgot. I legit cannot tell
• "I actually prefer this version of the game to the original, I think it's better". Fuck off, this version of the game looks and runs like ass
• Cringe joke about Ballos being Sans

Final notes: this run was boring and slow as fuck, the runner was unintelligible, and this version of the game is absolute trash and shouldn't even fucking exist.

 

[Jan Ciągwa]

Is playing Cave Story 3D, and jesus christ it looks awful.

Christ, it's just the original with completely out of place graphics "upgrade". Sorry for doubting you.

 

[Synthwave Obsessed]

>Current Speedrun: Spyro 1 PSX
<Not 100%'ing
What's the point then?

Spyro 1 PSX has a newer category called Vortex%, where the goal is to get from the starting point to the end point as fast as possible. I think any% for Spyro 1 is all right, but Vortex% is at least a little interesting because it's a category still being optimised with new things being found. It's not everyone's cup of tea, but I disagree with 100% being the only relevant category for Spyro 1. I think it would be smart for GDQ to host categories like this, but they won't because they are becoming bland oatmeal.

Congrats, you've triggered my jew autism. Mind you I have no experience knitting, but I do have experience in finding how much something costs.

Spoiler: Tism

~5' of yarn takes between 150-200 grams of yarn. To maximize generosity, we'll calculate the scarf as 6' to include the flourish of the Vaporeon head, and use the upper maximum for grams.

200grams / 5ft = 40grams/ft
40grams/ft * 6ft = 240grams

They specify that they used a variety, but it looks like Fingering and Bulky are the main suspects used. I'd estimate a ratio of 5:1 of Fingering:Bulky used.

500 yards of Fingering yarn is 100 grams, and costs ~$15.00 (I averaged between several sites)
100 yards of Bulky Yarn is 100 grams, and costs ~$12.00 (Averaged)

5:1 = 200:40
$12 * 2 = $24
$9.50 * 1 = $9.5
$33.50 Total in materials

So, that's $266.50 in labor costs. Now, from everything I've found online, a project like a scarf shouldn't take more than 20 hours if you're okay at the hobby, but it's hard to get an estimated.

That said, I can find way more complex and well design scarves on Etsy for $120.

The only justification I can find for the price being that high is a) they think their time is worth a lot of money, b) they suck and spent way to much time on this, c) a bit of both.

Personally, I think it's c.

I'm a bit late on this, but I knit and crochet as a hobby. By no means do I sell what I make and it's something I do when I have free time so I'm self-taught.

The post here mentions knitting, but the scarf pictured is crochet. I would like to point out that knitting and crocheting aren't the same. Crochet normally takes more yarn, but is generally quicker and is a lot more free to your imagination. You can easily do your own thing and this would be the correct way to approach something like a Vaporeon scarf. Knitting is a lot more structured, uses less yarn, but is slower and is a bit difficult (at least for me) to do funny shapes with. Because of the freedom of crochet, it can be difficult to replicate something unless you make notes as to what you did. You can tell that the attempt to even make the fins on both sides of the face look the same wasn't there. It appears as if the person made one and tried to make the other look like it but didn't know what the fuck they did. I do agree with the very fitting description of "looking like" Vaporeon. This is a generic scarf pattern with a lopsided face and bad fins attached. I would be embarrassed to have such an awful thing as a prize. It is quite asymmetrical and doesn't look look like time was spent to actually make the scarf actually look good.

There is no justification for the estimated value. If I sold my crafts, I would try to price them at $60-$75 for something nerdy like this, but even then I would find it hard to justify. As a ticket price, $60-$75 is a lot of money to ask from someone, but I might make the equivalent of a few dollars an hour for the time spent making the item. Obviously crafting is a labor of love and you often don't make minimum wage. Thus, it would be difficult to sell something cool and try to find a price point that isn't to the point of absurd. $300 is absurd and it makes me think someone didn't know how to crochet outside of basic patterns, had to learn, and thinks that their time spent learning how to use a yarn needle is billable time. It's not. You will spend a lot of time perfecting a craft hobby on your own dime.

It is worth mentioning that you can usually find yarn that is cheaper as well. Some stores will allow you to buy multiple spools for bulk prices. Because I work on smaller/personal projects, I pay $5 to $10 for a spool. The $10 spools are usually good yarns that are not cheap.

The two other paintings were just as embarrassing. I've seen better from baby's first drawing on DeviantArt. I don't think it needs to be explained why those paintings are depressing.

Here's /v/'s run tier list, if you want to know what vods to avoid.

Spoiler: List

SSS: Sonic Adventure 2 | Maimai

S: Gone Golfing | Mischief Makers | Racing Pitch | Mario Kart 64 | Super Mario 64 Blindfolded

A: Max Payne 2 | Ninja Gaiden | Amagon | Penumbra | Bloodstained | Castlevania: DoS | MGS3 | Deadspace | Kororinpa | Earthworm Jim | Ghostrunner | Paris Chase | Tomb Raider | X-Men 2 | Halo 2* | I Wanna Be The Knight in Shining Armor | Streets of Rage 4 | Timeline | Opposing Force | Mega Man X2 | QuackShot | Rayman | Dark Souls 3

B: Mega Man X | Spyro | Kirby Super Star | Metal Wolf Chaos XD | Styx | Nintendogs | Gimmick! | SSB Brawl | Lego Star Wars | Metroid | Kirby | Super Mario Odyssey | Bayonetta | FAITH | Teardown | Blast Corps | Chameleon Twist | Castlevania 64 | Castlevania Bloodlines | Castlevania RoB| Castlevania (race) | Battletoads* | La-Mulana | Dishonored| GTA III* | RE7 | Coca Cola Kid | Twinkle Star Sprites | Republic Commando | Hitman 3* | Link Faces of Evil | Arabian Nights | Wheels! | Time Gate | Ristar (race) | SMB2 | Vanquish | Doom Eternal AG 1 + 2 | RtCW | Wizard of Legend | BOTW | Bishi Bashi | Storks,Apes,Crocodiles | Batman (Genesis) | DKC3 | Pokemon Emerald | Bowser's Fury | Super Metroid Race | Kingdom Hearts 2 Final Mix

C: F-Zero GX | Psychonauts | Zelda: OoA | Pikmin 3 | Startropics II | Tiny Toon Adventures | Batman (NES)* | Lodoss | Kirbys Dream Collection | Paper Mario | DMC5 | Yoshi's Story | Indiana Jones | Golden Sun | Ratchet & Clank | Crash 4 | Fight Crab | Tempest of the Heavens and Earth | Sonic Colors | Sonic 3D Blast | Pokemon B/W (race) | Heads Run | Charlie Murder | Contrast | Mega Man II | Ponpu | Sonic CD | Astro's Playroom | Factorio | Spongebob ToS | Let's Give Up | Super Meat Boy Forever

D: Dragon Age| James Bond: Nightfire* | MGS: PO* | Sundered | Ghosts 'N Goblins* | Shadow of the Colossus | Resogun | Vectronom | Horizon Zero Dawn | ME2 | Goose Game | Jazzpunk | Jelly Drift | ALTF4 | Outer Wilds | Destiny 2 | Manifold Garden | Celeste | Sonic Heroes (TAS) | DANCERUSH | Fire Emblem | Demon's Souls Remake | Mario Bros. 3

F: K-Shoot Mania | Cave Story 3D* | Little Nightmares II* | GeoGuessr | Majora's Mask* | I Am Fish | Black Mesa

*trainwreck

I'm trying to figure out how you fuck up Black Mesa and turn it into a disaster, along with Majora's Mask. I guess I'll be watching them to find out. Quite frankly, I'm tired of GDQ just having the same games every year. Spyro, Crash, SM64, and LoZ OoT/MM are pretty much at GDQ every year. I can't bring myself to care when the categories shown are not even interesting like Vortex% or have no major changes besides. I'm surprised it was Crash 4 this year instead of Crash N'Sane Trilogy again. Maybe aGDQ, again... Crash 4 has already become a sore topic for the fans of Crash Bandicoot.

 

[Dumpster dived waifu]

I'm a bit late on this, but I knit and crochet as a hobby. By no means do I sell what I make and it's something I do when I have free time so I'm self-taught.

The post here mentions knitting, but the scarf pictured is crochet. I would like to point out that knitting and crocheting aren't the same. Crochet normally takes more yarn, but is generally quicker and is a lot more free to your imagination. You can easily do your own thing and this would be the correct way to approach something like a Vaporeon scarf. Knitting is a lot more structured, uses less yarn, but is slower and is a bit difficult (at least for me) to do funny shapes with. Because of the freedom of crochet, it can be difficult to replicate something unless you make notes as to what you did. You can tell that the attempt to even make the fins on both sides of the face look the same wasn't there. It appears as if the person made one and tried to make the other look like it but didn't know what the fuck they did. I do agree with the very fitting description of "looking like" Vaporeon. This is a generic scarf pattern with a lopsided face and bad fins attached. I would be embarrassed to have such an awful thing as a prize. It is quite asymmetrical and doesn't look look like time was spent to actually make the scarf actually look good.

There is no justification for the estimated value. If I sold my crafts, I would try to price them at $60-$75 for something nerdy like this, but even then I would find it hard to justify. As a ticket price, $60-$75 is a lot of money to ask from someone, but I might make the equivalent of a few dollars an hour for the time spent making the item. Obviously crafting is a labor of love and you often don't make minimum wage. Thus, it would be difficult to sell something cool and try to find a price point that isn't to the point of absurd. $300 is absurd and it makes me think someone didn't know how to crochet outside of basic patterns, had to learn, and thinks that their time spent learning how to use a yarn needle is billable time. It's not. You will spend a lot of time perfecting a craft hobby on your own dime.

It is worth mentioning that you can usually find yarn that is cheaper as well. Some stores will allow you to buy multiple spools for bulk prices. Because I work on smaller/personal projects, I pay $5 to $10 for a spool. The $10 spools are usually good yarns that are not cheap.

Thanks for the information. Admittedly my knowledge of the subject is based entirely off of some quick googling of generic terms.

 

[Moritat von Mackie Messer]

I'm trying to figure out how you fuck up Black Mesa and turn it into a disaster, along with Majora's Mask. I guess I'll be watching them to find out. Quite frankly, I'm tired of GDQ just having the same games every year. Spyro, Crash, SM64, and LoZ OoT/MM are pretty much at GDQ every year. I can't bring myself to care when the categories shown are not even interesting like Vortex% or have no major changes besides. I'm surprised it was Crash 4 this year instead of Crash N'Sane Trilogy again. Maybe aGDQ, again... Crash 4 has already become a sore topic for the fans of Crash Bandicoot.

please keep us posted on the black mesa run, i'm interested in how they fucked it up but im still playing through it so I don't wanna watch it yet.

 

[Wintersun]

His youtube icon is some Dark Souls character doing a track suit Slav squat, and there are a few of his older vids that have what you can safely presume are him speaking over the footage; his accent sounded eastern Euro stilted rather than Oriental stilted.

But honestly, those sorts of videos would be more of filler content, since the presenter have to go back and edit them down to remove all the dead air in it - after all, several of his videos have death montages and would probably be boring as shit to watch raw. It'd be nice filler, but still filler, unless some of the goofy shit in it was later used by a "proper" runner in the event or something.

I remember why I thought he was Korean, and it's this video.

How to pronounce "ymfah"

An educational video on some of the confusing pronunciation in the English language.

youtu.be

 

[El Goblina]

I loved how much the posting and updating of this list in the various AGDQ threads enraged a handful of anons. It tended to be the same ones who also seethed about all the tranny jokes.

"Cope, seethe, dilate" is real.

 

[Alter Ego]

Was there even any amusing drama from SGDQ this time, or has the virtual format put a dampener on that?

 

[El Goblina]

Was there even any amusing drama from SGDQ this time, or has the virtual format put a dampener on that?

I'd reckon as much. Most of the drama derives from randos interacting IRL, like women accusing Caleb Hart of inappropriate things just because he's basically ginger gigachad the speedrunner and they're jealous.

 

[cummytummies]

So apparently this happened yesterday...
View attachment 2335688

Man, that unrelated greentext post got me in the feels.

I used to watch AGDQ back in 2013, 2014, 2015... all week, and VODs afterwards. So god damn comfy. I can't remember when it was what the tranny shit started, but it wasn't always there. Sure Cosmo existed and whatnot but the event itself didn't incorporate any tranny propaganda into it (can't speak for the community, never participated in it).

Now you can't watch it for 30 seconds without something on the screen reminding you off the hellscape clown world you're currently in. A donation, some text banner, the fucking pronouns of the runners being prominently displayed on the HUD. I can't relax on some manchild escapism while seeing that shit. It'd be like eating a succulent meal while watching scat porn, ruins the mood. I haven't even tried since 2019 I think, it's not worth it.

I just want to go back, bros.

 

[cummytummies]

or this retard who can competitively speedrun quake but cannot creatively reroute on the fly and has to restart the level. Very bugman and machine like is his knowledge of one specific way to play the game

https://youtube.com/watch?v=y2Xve3VGGMo:408

It's because speedrunners for a long time haven't been people who liked a game so much they played it a lot and learned to play it fast.

Now they're (aspiring) twitch streamers who look up a ready-made guide, memorize that one specific sequence of inputs and do it over and over with no thinking or planning involved. This is how you can have all these people who are "general speedrunners", picking up a new game every few weeks to speedrun.

I'm not saying there's a dignified way to speedrun, Goose was definitely right in his assesment, but at least he was still speaking of a type of speedrunning where an autistic person plays the same game for a decade and thus knows it in and out. These modern speedrunners don't even know items or game mechanics unless they're utilized in "the route" that "everybody" is using. Very bugman-like and somehow even more depressing. It's also why so few of them can commentate their run in an interesting fashion, as they literally know nothing except what is already shown on screen.

 

[Smaug's Smokey Hole]

Now they're (aspiring) twitch streamers who look up a ready-made guide, memorize that one specific sequence of inputs and do it over and over with no thinking or planning involved.

Brianna Wu, I skipped around his famous SMB2 Peach speedrun and he did exactly that when it was not needed. Tactics was to do-this-do-that then crouch until Fire-Birdo shoots his fireball, then throw a bucket. He crouched in place in the right place while Birdo did nothing for 3 seconds or so. Eight in the world! I compared it to another video and the fire should come out immediately so ducking is a good idea, but he waited until Birdo got into his cycle of firing, then threw a bucket at him. He also died once iirc.

Out of sheer spite I installed OBS and played SMB2 for the first time since forever and I at least tried to come up with a tactic leveraging Peach's abilities. I spent 30-45 minutes on this, it might not be useful but at least I'm trying to do it differently.

That game is stiff as fuck, not as I remembered it.

 

[Celebrate Nite]

Didn't think this thread would still be up and running.

In that case, have some more cringe

 

[DarkSoulsPhil]

That Sonic speedrun was godlike. Dude had massive tits but was super friendly, enthusiastic and good at the game. Commentators were wild too. I havent felt an authentic speedrun like that in a LONG time.