🍗 Deathfat Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[Gay Mouth]

Like this but with fat

 

[formerfatcow]

Spoiler: IG story

tessholliday
It’s my birthday week, y’all!️ This big ol’ birthday girl is excited to move her body and dance into all the yummy goodness to come
#fableticsambassador @fabletics

 

[Water-T]

Tess remembered to turn on all 42 filters on for this one

 

[Crepidodera fulvicornis]

I can’t believe that tomorrow I get to share my slumber party with y’all! Slumber parties are where you share your deepest secrets, crushes, dreams & laugh until your stomach hurts — that’s what I wanted to do with all of you, every single week on @slumberpartywithtess! Each week I’m gonna introduce y’all to individuals that are doing their part to make the world a better place, and I’m honored that my first guest is one of my dear fiends, @nadiaaboulhosn!

I have been working on this podcast for almost 2 years. When I first had the idea of a slumber party concept, most companies I met with didn’t really get what I was trying to do… but what else is new? I kept shopping my idea around because I knew it was special. I’m so glad that I didn’t give up and that @kastmedia saw in #SlumberPartyPod what I did!

Maybe we can’t have slumber parties in person right now, but #tunein each week starting tomorrow for a little bit of goodness and I bet we’ll all feel even just a little bit better…

*Red for the likes, yellow for dislikes counts

 

[FuckDuckSeagull]

Hah, even haydurs don't give a shit about her stupid podcast. she must be seething.

Those dance videos, jfc bitch can't pull a move to save her life. Even Julianna is more able ffs!

Edit. I was going to make fun of her for behaving like a fucking teenager over her birthday, but I suppose when you're a deathfat every birthday is kind of a miracle.

 

[idomyfoodbucketlist]

LMAO, the knee pop was so cute. She has to shift her whole weight to her right knee, lurch her foot up, hold a second then slam her foot down as gently as she can. THIS HEFFA

Yes! I noticed that too, it looks like she's struggling to keep her balance and can only do the leg pop for a second before she starts to wobble.

Imagine not being able to lift one foot up without a lot of effort and risk. But go off about how your mobility isn't the least bit inhibited by your body, Tessy Mess.

 

[Crepidodera fulvicornis]

Tess remembered to turn on all 42 filters on for this one

Reminds me of someone

Spoiler: Reality reminder

 

[Cheesegirl78]

Hah, even haydurs don't give a shit about her stupid podcast. she must be seething.

Those dance videos, jfc bitch can't pull a move to save her life. Even Julianna is more able ffs!

Edit. I was going to make fun of her for behaving like a fucking teenager over her birthday, but I suppose when you're a deathfat every birthday is kind of a miracle.

Didn't she say a year or so back that she was not going to celebrate her birthdays any longer? It was too close to July 4th, and she didn't want to participate in celebrating Americas' birthday?

 

[Gay Mouth]

Didn't she say a year or so back that she was not going to celebrate her birthdays any longer? It was too close to July 4th, and she didn't want to participate in celebrating Americas' birthday?

...and then her gunt demon screamed CAKE and she straightened her priorities out

 

[Angry New Ager]

One more birthday? Tick, tock, Tess—time is not on your side.

There's nothing worse for a somatic Narcissist than getting old, especially when they're female and have spent their entire adult life banking on their looks and sexuality. I know Tess isn't going to live long enough to be legit old, but I'm confident she'll make it to an age where the combo of aging and efforts to fend off that aging will have rendered her an absolute nightmare to look at. She's already headed that way with excessive fillers, and the best part is she's so far up her own ass she can't even see it.

She won't have the money to get into much beyond fillers and Botox, and due to her obesity only the shadiest plastic surgeons would take her on as a patient (if she had the money). But she's managing to fuck her face up just fine, given the limited means she has at her disposal.

The future is not going to be kind to her (the present already isn't). So yeah, go ahead and eat all the cakes and celebrate another year gone, Tess; we know better.

 

[NoReturn]

Spoiler: IG story

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You aren't an uwu cutie Korean idol, Tess. Stop posing like that.
Also, did she add those "um"s into her captions manually? If not, can auto-generated captions not be edited? I have many questions.

 

[taintmisbehavin]

Spoiler: IG story

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Is she really “moving” her body? It’s more like what happens to Jello when you shake the bowl.

 

[Umaibae]

I rarely watch her Flabletics videos when they’re posted here, but I watched a few seconds of some and WOW, it’s amazing how winded she gets the more she speaks.

 

[Water-T]

I rarely watch her Flabletics videos when they’re posted here, but I watched a few seconds of some and WOW, it’s amazing how winded she gets the more she speaks.

You'd think that someone who claims to be doing hardcore Pilates several times a week wouldn't get winded so easily.

 

[Gramlol]

I rarely watch her Flabletics videos when they’re posted here, but I watched a few seconds of some and WOW, it’s amazing how winded she gets the more she speaks.

It's up there with her splayed toes that are more '600 lb life' than 'curvy plus size model'. One of the ugly effects of being that size, along with fast ageing, and I bet she'll realise that and attempt to fix it with.. louder music? Closed toe shoes (for once). It's also clear that she's become completely undateable to.. all men, which infuriates her. She's HAWT, you guys!!

I wonder what she's going to do when she gets the typical beetus neck and knuckle darkened patches. Foundation would soon be melted off by sweat.
Eventually she'll have to see a dr to address some intense beetus symptoms, and will have her narc bubble popped in her face, when she's not reassured immediately that she's a gorgeous curvy model who's healthy but big, like Kate Upton, and how dare that skinny bitch criticise me!!
I expect she hasn't seen a doctor since Bowie's birth, for this reason.
Enjoy the downward spiral, Tess!

 

[IBrokeBob]

She has a bug up her butt about something. She is overdoing the "fat people love moving their bodies" bs. Something set her off to cause her to torture herself desperately trying to prove she is energetic, flexible and on the move. She is trying to prove some point by faking this shit.

Did a potential lover dump her by telling her that screwing her had all the excitement and action as fucking a dead whale? Did fabletics tell her to shape up and act like she was actually working out and not just posing in the giant fat suits they send her? Did she get turned down for some d-list modeling job and is now trying to cosplay as the chubby Jane Fonda or something?

 

[Honey Blossom]

She has a bug up her butt about something. She is overdoing the "fat people love moving their bodies" bs. Something set her off to cause her to torture herself desperately trying to prove she is energetic, flexible and on the move. She is trying to prove some point by faking this shit.

Did a potential lover dump her by telling her that screwing her had all the excitement and action as fucking a dead whale? Did fabletics tell her to shape up and act like she was actually working out and not just posing in the giant fat suits they send her? Did she get turned down for some d-list modeling job and is now trying to cosplay as the chubby Jane Fonda or something?

no it’s just her birthday is coming up and she’s having to deal with the realization that she’s aging and her looks are quickly fading due to her lifestyle and she has no real career to show for anything. So she has to overcompensate and show how “happy” she is.

 

[Gramlol]

no it’s just her birthday is coming up and she’s having to deal with the realization that she’s aging and her looks are quickly fading due to her lifestyle and she has no real career to show for anything. So she has to overcompensate and show how “happy” she is.

Is that why she's going for increasingly evil stepmother drag makeup, a pantomime of a hawt lady? And lingerie and her ass tits always out? These seem to have gotten intense over the past.. year.
She's looking down the barrel of 40 and on the rough side of it, with a life expectancy of 55. Jane Fonda and many women decades older than her are stylish and beautiful. She just trashed her body, like trashing a house. There's no magic cure to fix treating your body like that, it shows in your skin.
She'll probably burn her apartment down for attention on her 40th birthday, to reassure herself she can still get attention and be around hot firefighter guyz. Or get into a car accident. Anything for that sweet, sweet attention.

 

[Angry New Ager]

You'd think that someone who claims to be doing hardcore Pilates several times a week wouldn't get winded so easily.

To be fair, when you're that fat, getting dressed at all is a workout, and stuffing your lumpy 5X ass into a series of 3X spandex casings might be seen as equivalent to doing hardcore Pilates.

She has a bug up her butt about something. She is overdoing the "fat people love moving their bodies" bs. Something set her off to cause her to torture herself desperately trying to prove she is energetic, flexible and on the move. She is trying to prove some point by faking this shit.

Did a potential lover dump her by telling her that screwing her had all the excitement and action as fucking a dead whale? Did fabletics tell her to shape up and act like she was actually working out and not just posing in the giant fat suits they send her? Did she get turned down for some d-list modeling job and is now trying to cosplay as the chubby Jane Fonda or something?

Well, it's not like she has much imagination, or even does anything interesting on her own. California's opened back up, and all her friends are off doing cool, fun stuff without her, or getting their lives and businesses back on track.

In the meantime, nobody's hiring her for shit, her podcast was finally euthanized (and only we noticed), and her reality TV show about tattooing fatties seems to be DOA. Pride month is over, so she needs to take a break from nattering on about how "queer" she is(n't). She's probably lost followers with each new bout of SJW posturing, and has to dial it back. She's come perilously close to cancellation for saying stupid shit, and has been reviled for her bullshit anorexia claim.

So what's an empty-headed, unskilled, unemployable, image-obsessed fatty to do? Especially during a week when she turns another year older with nothing to show for it? Pretend she's still young, active, and not falling apart.

That said, I do wonder if she's spent the last 16 months telling herself that the only reason she wasn't getting booked for moddling gigs was Covid lockdowns, and now that they've been lifted she has to face the reality that there are no moddling gigs waiting for her.

 

[Gramlol]

To be fair, when you're that fat, getting dressed at all is a workout, and stuffing your lumpy 5X ass into a series of 3X spandex casings might be seen as equivalent to doing hardcore Pilates.



Well, it's not like she has much imagination, or even does anything interesting on her own. California's opened back up, and all her friends are off doing cool, fun stuff without her, or getting their lives and businesses back on track.

In the meantime, nobody's hiring her for shit, her podcast was finally euthanized (and only we noticed), and her reality TV show about tattooing fatties seems to be DOA. Pride month is over, so she needs to take a break from nattering on about how "queer" she is(n't). She's probably lost followers with each new bout of SJW posturing, and has to dial it back. She's come perilously close to cancellation for saying stupid shit, and has been reviled for her bullshit anorexia claim.

So what's an empty-headed, unskilled, unemployable, image-obsessed fatty to do? Especially during a week when she turns another year older with nothing to show for it? Pretend she's still young, active, and not falling apart.

That said, I do wonder if she's spent the last 16 months telling herself that the only reason she wasn't getting booked for moddling gigs was Covid lockdowns, and now that they've been lifted she has to face the reality that there are no moddling gigs waiting for her.

Hahahaha I forgot about her anorexia saga. Weird how she hasn't mentioned it again. And it was apparently anorexia nervosa, even. This bitch, I swear to god.