- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
There are some pretty funny martial arts lolcows out there. A good place to find them is at www.bullshido.net, which does exposés on some of them (even though Bullshido members are kind of lolcows themselves, issuing challenge duels and stuff).
The original grandmaster of the lulz was a guy by the name of Count Dante:
A hairdresser by profession, in the 1960s he began putting out these kinds of ads in comic books:
The lulz eventually became srs business during the Dojo Wars:
On July 22, 1965, Dante was charged with attempted arson when he and an accomplice, Douglas Dwyer (The Second Deadliest Man Alive), were arrested while taping dynamite caps to a rival Chicago dojo. Both claimed to be under the influence of alcohol at the time but Dante explained this was the result of a disagreement with the dojo's owner over payment for a tournament that Dante had arranged there.
The various enmities culminated in the Dojo War incident of April 24, 1970 where Dante and some of his students went to a rival dojo of the Green Dragon Society's Black Cobra Hall. According to press coverage, upon entering the school, they claimed to be police officers and attacked the rival dojo's students. The brief battle resulted in the death of one of Dante's friends and fellow sensei, Jim Koncevic.
Former mob lawyer Robert Cooley states in his autobiography When Corruption was King that he represented Count Dante during the trial following the 1970 Dojo War incident. Cooley recalls that Dante was ultimately acquitted but not before both sides were given a stern lecture by the judge citing everyone at fault.
(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Count_Dante#The_Dojo_Wars)
Out of this madness sprung a generation of lolninjas, some of whom claim lineage to Dante's organization. My favorites are Frank Dux and Ashida Kim. The first you may have heard of, as his tales of fighting in underground, no-holds barred, international "kumite" matches were the inspiration behind the Jean Claude Van Damme vehicle and nonetheless awesome movie Bloodsport (also featuring a young, future Academy Award winner Forest Whitaker in a small role). There has been a fair amount of debate over whether or not these kumites really happened, if Dux participated in them, if he really was a secret agent for the government, etc. Some of this came out when Dux sued Van Damme over breach of contract, the trial for which was covered live by Court TV (Dux lost).
That's Dux on the right.
And on the left is "Ashida Kim," power word: Radford Davis. He is perhaps the most infamous of all karate lolcows, both due to his antics and his trollability.
Highlight reel:
Yes, you can buy books on his website where he shows you how to levitate:
Bullshido investigation and call-out: http://bullshido.org/Ashida_Kim
Kim's website with its own forums: http://www.ashidakim.com/.
Trolled: "Facebook is for Bullies!"
Anyways, there's lots of lulz out there for those that seek. This is just a starter.
(Of course, I would almost be remiss without posting this:
)
The original grandmaster of the lulz was a guy by the name of Count Dante:
A hairdresser by profession, in the 1960s he began putting out these kinds of ads in comic books:
Text said:Yes, this is the DEADLIEST and most TERRIFYING fighting art known to man—and WITHOUT EQUAL. Its MAIMING, MUTILATING, DISFIGURING, PARALYZING and CRIPPLING techniques are known by only a few people in the world. An expert at DIM MAK could easily kill many Judo, Karate, Kung Fu, Aikido, and Gung Fu experts at one time with only finger-tip pressure using his murderous POISON HAND WEAPONS. Instructing you step by step thru each move in this manual is none other than COUNT DANTE — THE DEADLIEST MAN WHO EVER LIVED.
The lulz eventually became srs business during the Dojo Wars:
On July 22, 1965, Dante was charged with attempted arson when he and an accomplice, Douglas Dwyer (The Second Deadliest Man Alive), were arrested while taping dynamite caps to a rival Chicago dojo. Both claimed to be under the influence of alcohol at the time but Dante explained this was the result of a disagreement with the dojo's owner over payment for a tournament that Dante had arranged there.
The various enmities culminated in the Dojo War incident of April 24, 1970 where Dante and some of his students went to a rival dojo of the Green Dragon Society's Black Cobra Hall. According to press coverage, upon entering the school, they claimed to be police officers and attacked the rival dojo's students. The brief battle resulted in the death of one of Dante's friends and fellow sensei, Jim Koncevic.
Former mob lawyer Robert Cooley states in his autobiography When Corruption was King that he represented Count Dante during the trial following the 1970 Dojo War incident. Cooley recalls that Dante was ultimately acquitted but not before both sides were given a stern lecture by the judge citing everyone at fault.
(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Count_Dante#The_Dojo_Wars)
Out of this madness sprung a generation of lolninjas, some of whom claim lineage to Dante's organization. My favorites are Frank Dux and Ashida Kim. The first you may have heard of, as his tales of fighting in underground, no-holds barred, international "kumite" matches were the inspiration behind the Jean Claude Van Damme vehicle and nonetheless awesome movie Bloodsport (also featuring a young, future Academy Award winner Forest Whitaker in a small role). There has been a fair amount of debate over whether or not these kumites really happened, if Dux participated in them, if he really was a secret agent for the government, etc. Some of this came out when Dux sued Van Damme over breach of contract, the trial for which was covered live by Court TV (Dux lost).
That's Dux on the right.
And on the left is "Ashida Kim," power word: Radford Davis. He is perhaps the most infamous of all karate lolcows, both due to his antics and his trollability.
Highlight reel:
Yes, you can buy books on his website where he shows you how to levitate:
Bullshido investigation and call-out: http://bullshido.org/Ashida_Kim
Kim's website with its own forums: http://www.ashidakim.com/.
Trolled: "Facebook is for Bullies!"
Anyways, there's lots of lulz out there for those that seek. This is just a starter.
(Of course, I would almost be remiss without posting this:
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