💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

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When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 17 1.1%

  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.2%

  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.4%

  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 2.8%

  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 16.6%

  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 252 16.2%

  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 902 58.0%
  • Total voters
    1,556
Jack "Tech Time" Scalfani being the ultimate consoomer as usual -planning on rushing out to buy* a new Macbook Pro with an Intel chip just because Apple is discontinuing it. His main reason was for "My life is editing videos". The fat man doesn't need a new Macbook Pro - all of his videos look compressed as shit anyways; always using the same template for transitions and about 10 minutes each video. Heck, even a shit PC with Windows 7 running a pirated copy of Vegas can get his job done, much less needing "a new MBP with an intel chip".

*with Tammy's money.

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Of all the things that he's grateful for, sausage and cheese? Guess he's not grateful for her making the money in the household or assisting with buying groceries, or hell, helping Jack dress himself since the stroke...but no, it's sausage and cheese.
 
desu91 said:
Jack "Tech Time" Scalfani being the ultimate consoomer as usual -planning on rushing out to buy* a new Macbook Pro with an Intel chip just because Apple is discontinuing it. His main reason was for "My life is editing videos". The fat man doesn't need a new Macbook Pro - all of his videos look compressed as shit anyways; always using the same template for transitions and about 10 minutes each video. Heck, even a shit PC with Windows 7 running a pirated copy of Vegas can get his job done, much less needing "a new MBP with an intel chip".

*with Tammy's money.

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This is clearly his gaming MacBook Pro. Still trying to crack into that gamer cooking market, I personally can't wait for the Papa's Pizzeria lets play.
 
captkrisma said:
Of all the things that he's grateful for, sausage and cheese? Guess he's not grateful for her making the money in the household or assisting with buying groceries, or hell, helping Jack dress himself since the stroke...but no, it's sausage and cheese.
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Tammy should refuse to enable her fat bitch of a husband for a month so he can learn to appreciate someone for less narcissistic reasons (ie what makes himself happy, which is his god: food)
 
any other sane woman would've bailed years ago. but tammy's "christianity" has pretty much brainwashed her into thinking she's supposed to be jack's caretaker. even on her social media, which i would think she'd use as her "getaway" from jack, she's still posting about him and how much she loves him. she works her ass off so that fat jack can eat all the fast food and buy all the useless gadgets he wants AND on top of all that, she has to drive his useless ass around, help him do stuff for the cooking show, help him dress, etc. i just don't understand how she can still "love" jack despite basically being his mother at this point

she could've left his ass and lived a comfortable life with someone who isn't a failed youtube chef but for some reason she's chosen fat jack over everything. poor tammy has to go on a "women's retreat" once or twice a year just to get laid
 
Unenthused said:
Lol from the angle of that photo, I bet Jack is sitting in the patio section of the store using the furniture that's supposed to be on display. I wager he even eats on the tables, too; white trash at its finest
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You really think that furniture is able to hold 650lbs? You're quite an optimist, huh?
RodDangerous said:
Father’s Day dinner was, of course, delivered. I guess Junior couldn’t be arsed to hand-deliver a burrito to the wendigo. Jack bitches about portions and sizes.

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Tbh, I think the pizzas are ok with their topping, but I'm eating like a human not like a Cat 6015B called Jack.
Jack, you're a cheap disgusting piece of shit!
JimmyNeutronWasATerrorist said:
Speaking of Jack's old meat, how big do you think his dick is?
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Aaway said:
any other sane woman would've bailed years ago. but tammy's "christianity" has pretty much brainwashed her into thinking she's supposed to be jack's caretaker. even on her social media, which i would think she'd use as her "getaway" from jack, she's still posting about him and how much she loves him. she works her ass off so that fat jack can eat all the fast food and buy all the useless gadgets he wants AND on top of all that, she has to drive his useless ass around, help him do stuff for the cooking show, help him dress, etc. i just don't understand how she can still "love" jack despite basically being his mother at this point

she could've left his ass and lived a comfortable life with someone who isn't a failed youtube chef but for some reason she's chosen fat jack over everything. poor tammy has to go on a "women's retreat" once or twice a year just to get laid
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Or maybe she just feeds him slowly to death by all that fat crap he shoves down his throat and later (after the check from Jacks life insurance cleared) laughs all the way to the bank.
 
Wilhelm Bittrich said:
You really think that furniture is able to hold 650lbs? You're quite an optimist, huh?

Tbh, I think the pizzas are ok with their topping, but I'm eating like a human not like a Cat 6015B called Jack.
Jack, you're a cheap disgusting piece of shit!

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Or maybe she just feeds him slowly to death by all that fat crap he shoves down his throat and later (after the check from Jacks life insurance cleared) laughs all the way to the bank.
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I think at this point Jack's dick is non-existent, and has retreated into the folds of his fat for protection- lest the wendigo emerge from his gullet and mistake it for a cocktail weenie.
 
The Wizard said:
I don't think that there is much to comprehend about Jack. His guiding philosophy of life seems to be little more than "fuck the future; live for the moment."
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Which isn't necessarily a bad way to live your life. If he wants to die slowly. Gradually losing losing the motor functions of his body with stinging nerve pain until the inevitable massive heart attack or stroke more power to him.

desu91 said:
Jack "Tech Time" Scalfani being the ultimate consoomer as usual -planning on rushing out to buy* a new Macbook Pro with an Intel chip just because Apple is discontinuing it. His main reason was for "My life is editing videos". The fat man doesn't need a new Macbook Pro - all of his videos look compressed as shit anyways; always using the same template for transitions and about 10 minutes each video. Heck, even a shit PC with Windows 7 running a pirated copy of Vegas can get his job done, much less needing "a new MBP with an intel chip".

*with Tammy's money.

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Maybe we will finally get cooking videos that are at least 1080p for a change. /sneed
 
Also earlier, The Scalfanis tuck into some tumours. Reminds me of the Cystypig "cysts" from The Outer Worlds.

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A Duck Selling Lemonade said:
I still can't believe how Jack literally wasted the opportunity his previous stroke gave him.

Yesterday I was watching a video that seemed to have been recorded in California where he talks about his stroke and how it was due to coffee, energy drinks and excess of work. He hadn't lost control of his arm. He was SO lucky. A lot of people aren't that lucky. He had a second chance! FOR WHAT?

He kept the same habits and had a worse stroke a few years later.... and he CONTINUES unchanged by all of that.

I literally do not comprehend this.
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Yeah, the stroke was caused by "coffee" and "working".
I think we all know the real culprit was Aunt Myrna's party cheese salad.
 
Dave Meltzer said:
They look like one of his kidney stones.
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he blamed the kidney stones on the quality of his tapwater at home (not kidding)

stroke #1 wasn't jack's cue to change his lifestyle. ok fair enough, he gets a second chance after being hospitalized with kidney stones. he's gonna change his lifestyle and diet after that right?

3 years and a stroke later.....
 
Jack could be moments from dying of acute respiratory failure caused by COVID-19, and with his last ounce of energy post to Facebook that it’s “probably from all those years of breathing in smoke from the smokers.”
 
Aaway said:
he blamed the kidney stones on the quality of his tapwater at home (not kidding)
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It's amazing the tortured excuses this bloated idiot will invent to avoid facing the fact that his problems are almost entirely just due to his shitty diet.
 
AnOminous said:
It's amazing the tortured excuses this bloated idiot will invent to avoid facing the fact that his problems are almost entirely just due to his shitty diet.
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He's such a fat bitch he almost belongs on the Deathfats board. He thinks exactly the way they do with the added bonus of terminal boomeritis.
 
Aaway said:
he blamed the kidney stones on the quality of his tapwater at home (not kidding)
https://youtube.com/watch?v=hFuIUvBdoE4
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According to my quick Google search, no studies have link hard water consumption with kidney stones. They can, however, be caused by high red meat consumption, which is Jack's case.

Also, the chemist or whatever the guy is that he brought over to his house seems like an snake oil's salesman.
 
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