UN Venezuela Megathread - Mercenaries 2 references galore! Cubanodun is MVP

With the news of an attempted army uprising ending in many arrests happening in the troubled nation, I think now is the time to just say 'Post all Venezuela related news here'

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-latin-america-40843494

The civil war is upon us.

 

[RodgerDodger]

They are used to LARP top gun over cities, when Chavez was alive he bought a tons of Sukhois so he would look good but most of them are inoperative for lack of parts, Maduro has a contract with the russians to maintain some but now our best buddies are the Iranians, is been months since any mention of Russian or Chinese cooperation

Yeah funny thing about Putin. He likes being paid for goods and services. Love or hate the man he does seem to have upended the old Soviet model of throwing cash and weapons at any corrupt dictator that claimed to have read Karl Marx. Vlad's gonna run your credit score first to make sure you're good for it.

 

[Cubanodun]

I honestly want to know what percentage of the Maduro regime has played Mercenaries II.

The game was the excuse to make the Law against games that depict war here in venezuela, a law that everyone forgot it even exist

Yeah funny thing about Putin. He likes being paid for goods and services. Love or hate the man he does seem to have upended the old Soviet model of throwing cash and weapons at any corrupt dictator that claimed to have read Karl Marx. Vlad's gonna run your credit score first to make sure you're good for it.

One of the things that is still a mystery is why Putin don't want to receive Gold as payment, i have some friends in the nearby airport that is receiving the Iranian parts and apparently they were very strict about 1 thing, no delays on payment, the parts are delivered with the plane has to come back with Gold or they can go fuck themselves, wonder what happened with Turkey, did the EU actually slapped them with something?

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

The game was the excuse to make the Law against games that depict war here in venezuela, a law that everyone forgot it even exist

That's absolutely amazing.

wonder what happened with Turkey

Without derailing the thread, Erdogan thought that because he was new friends with Russia he could tell the US to fuck off, so we slapped them out of the F-35 deal. But then he pissed off Russia over Syria so Russia bitch-slapped them. Then he cried for Europe to help him against Russia, they didn't, so he unleashed a hoard of Austere Scholarly refugees into Europe which definitely pissed them off.

Now with no more friends he's crawling back to the US begging Senpai Trump to notice him by sending us PPE or something.

 

[Cubanodun]

Now with no more friends he's crawling back to the US begging Senpai Trump to notice him by sending us PPE or something.

That would explain the reason the food that is being sold in the streets is not coming for Turkey anymore and Maduro has not mentioned them in a while, Turkey was the only excuse he had to pretend the EU was with him

 

[CDWLTY]

That would explain the reason the food that is being sold in the streets is not coming for Turkey anymore and Maduro has not mentioned them in a while, Turkey was the only excuse he had to pretend the EU was with him

Good luck there, friend. I like hearing your reporting, it really helps out in making sense of what's going on there from a real point of view. Thanks for the updates!

 

[Ghostse]

One of the things that is still a mystery is why Putin don't want to receive Gold as payment,

The US/UN has told Maduro he's not allowed to burn the country's gold reserves to keep himself propped up. Gold can be spectrographically analyzed to figure out where it came from even if its melted & remolded. That means that if shit ever settles down, all the countries that accepted gold since the order was put in place will be expected by the UN to return it.

Iran is willing to take the gold because they don't give any fucks about the international community, and the people they're giving the gold to are also unlikely to give two shits about the origin. So when the EU says "Hey, you better give that gold back", the Islamic peoples republic will tell them to go fuck themselves, its our gold now, we have to have some way pay the terrorists we sent to kill your people.
The EU will then pout and show Iran that they mean business by only giving Iran $999 million dollars in aid, instead of the $1 billion dollars promised.

Russia relies on a lot of trade with faggy countries that follow lame shit like "UN regulations" so there is a good chance that if they took payment in gold, they would be expected to return it. And they could get tariffed/taxed enough to actually have to return a portion of it.

(Also since Maduro's government is under sanctions and banned from the international finance network, the US can leverage cascading sanctions if anyone does business with them.
For example, if Russia's central bank accepted a deposting including Venezeulan gold, the US could lock the Russian Central Bank out of the international finance network until auditors could be assured that the bank has cut all ties with Maduro. Which means letting US auditors go through the records of Russia's Central Bank.)

 

[Cubanodun]

Operation Gedeon to the surprise of no one was a monumental failure, im going to pretend im shocked and shill my patreon

 

[AnOminous]

Iran is willing to take the gold because they don't give any fucks about the international community, and the people they're giving the gold to are also unlikely to give two shits about the origin.

Gold is valuable because it's fungible, though. If you can't spend it where you'd want to, it's useless.

 

[Ghostse]

Gold is valuable because it's fungible, though. If you can't spend it where you'd want to, it's useless.

There's a difference between preppers trading 1oz Gold Eagles and payoffs in literal pallets of bars. Which is another thing going for Iran, where Iran has good opportunity to launder the gold by dispersing it to small entities funding terror cells.

The UN's take is that Maduro has stolen the gold from the rightful government of Venezuela, and they've issued a ruling/letter as such, so no one who is a UN member can feign ignorance. That means any entity that accepts gold is knowing taking stolen goods, and if the next recognized government of Venezuela can prove someone accepted it in trade, they might be able to do something about it.

That said, we're talking nationstate level transactions in pounds & tons, not ounces. The UN is not going to send blue helmet storm troopers to shake down the local Cash4Gold if Maduro goes there to unload his collection of antique pesos.

 

[Cubanodun]

Official statement of Bonald blumpf government: "try harder"

Love the use of words there "former regime", "Melodrama"

 

[Cubanodun]

Just went believed this could not go crazy, Maduro decide to no, we have to go further, we have to go beyond

So you guys remember the Gang war he wanted to hide with his hilarious tacticool commando assault? well just today he decide to surprise us with a video of some of the "captured" telling that the gang war was actually a distraction to let the mercenaries of Operation Gedeon, mind you the video is fake as fuck, they are know for using torture even to the point that is encouraged by the government on he is calling the head of the colectivos there a DEA asset lmao

Notice how the audio and the video doesn't even match and no Maduro showed this on TV without any hint of shame a fast translation he is saying that the Gang war is supported by DEA agents

Fast forward we got our Hero of the hour (martyr in some days) the head of the colectivos himself Wilexis Acevedo, he affirm that the gang war doesn't have ANYTHING to do with the DEA or Operation Geneon, some days ago some people arrived to the barrio and decided to take by force houses with no reason at all, the people of the barrio asked him to get rid of them and he went with his army to fuck those punks in a gang war that is been going for 5 days

There is supposedly another audio where he claim that he is not pleased with Maduro threatening him and he is capable to going to Miraflores and get him for the bounty

 

[CDWLTY]

I'm about 95% sure it's not a U.S. gov op in any way, but then I think of the vast size and countless idiots in all levels of beaureaucracy and it seems less impossible there's a tiny, forgotten government office that consists of two guys reading tom clancy novels who wanted to end up in the history books. Not likely, but I've met people working at the distal ends of certain orgs and they really ain't all winners. Sometimes the paperwork is approved sight unseen.

 

[Ghostse]

I'm about 95% sure it's not a U.S. gov op in any way, but then I think of the vast size and countless idiots in all levels of beaureaucracy and it seems less impossible there's a tiny, forgotten government office that consists of two guys reading tom clancy novels who wanted to end up in the history books. Not likely, but I've met people working at the distal ends of certain orgs and they really ain't all winners. Sometimes the paperwork is approved sight unseen.

the fact the operation did not end with Maduro executing Guydudelo after a failed military take over that only left the Chavezismo ruling party more securely in control of country is surest sign the CIA was not involved.

 

[Snekposter]

IDK, personally its the fact you didn't have things explode and cause mass civilian casualties. For a CIA coup attempt it was hilariously bloodless.

 

[Cubanodun]

I'm about 95% sure it's not a U.S. gov op in any way, but then I think of the vast size and countless idiots in all levels of beaureaucracy and it seems less impossible there's a tiny, forgotten government office that consists of two guys reading tom clancy novels who wanted to end up in the history books. Not likely, but I've met people working at the distal ends of certain orgs and they really ain't all winners. Sometimes the paperwork is approved sight unseen.

In words of Pompeo "if we were involved it would have gone differently”

And in the words of the new USA ambassador on Venezuela "we were the nation that captured Bin Laden"

Edit: Trump take about it, he really like to stir the pot

And apparently the mastermind of all this mess is a lolcow in its own right the website of his company is the most fake shit ever created

 

[Cubanodun]

in a little worthless news because not much is happening, Directv has decided to fuck off of this place

The reason is that to keep the license here they need to broadcast PDVSA TV and Globovision two commie channels that are sanctioned so between pissing off Maduro or pissing of Orange man they decided to piss off the poor one, the most hilarious part is that Chavez was one of the best promoters of Directv, his speeches were so annoyingly long and all the tv stations were forced to broadcasted it that people refused to watch him, so everyone and their grandmother paid a subscription just to have something to see when he was talking

 

[Cubanodun]

The official response of the government about DIRECTV leaving the country because of them: "lmao go outside and read a book you fucking morons"

Also they decided to sue them on the USA (lol) and here (more lol) for "denying the right of people to be informed and entertained" even when they had to leave because they refused the removal of 2 garbage channels that no one watch

Edit: possible happening in progress i really did not give a shit about it because im pretty sure Maduro and the Iranians are going to get away with it, Iran has send 5 boats full of fuel to Venezuela because we failed spectacularly in restarting the production, the chaviztas are saying that the boats come with "hopes, dreams and dignity" forgetting that they were the ones that destroyed the industry, the rest dont want the fuel to come to fuck with Maduro

The unverified rumours claim that USA is considering seizing the boats but the pessimist in me know that they are going to arrive without any problem and Maduro is going to catch a breath again, he is the DSP of Dictators

 

[Ghostse]

the DSP of Dictators

An apt and accurate moniker

 

[Cubanodun]

Update about the DIRECTV situation, they took a page of the old book and decide to take by force all the assets of DIRECTV to restablish the service

They forgot that the only thing they had here is administrative offices, even if they take all their equipment they dont have access to the satellite but let them dream a little

 

[Adamska]

Update about the DIRECTV situation, they took a page of the old book and decide to take by force all the assets of DIRECTV to restablish the service

View attachment 1311994

They forgot that the only thing they had here is administrative offices, even if they take all their equipment they dont have access to the satellite but let them dream a little

The only way it'd be funnier is if DirectV decided to destroy or take anything of value before they left, meaning all they got was the building shell itself.