Interests Twitter 1/30 - Chris's D&D sheet

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This D&D saga is the closest we’ve come to classic Chris antics in a long time. He’s even getting kicked out of business and stuff.
 
Naamaleipuri said:
Oh damn. I completely forgot. I was too fixated on his Cleric 1 and forgot that he dual classed.
But still.. He made sure to write that he has dual shortswords, they are finesse weapons still, aren't they? So he'd either.. Oh. OH! I just got it while I was typing. It's either STR or DEX roll for attack and damage. I was too fixated on actual working stat builds and completely forgot his DnD character can seemingly do anything.
Still.. Cleric 15/Ranger 9? He just picked the skills he wanted and when the game rules wouldn't conform to him, he decided that he's too good for that.

I'll relish the day when we get an actual DnD session with Chris. It's going to be glorious no matter what the DM does!
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Well, Weapon Finesse isn't a distinct ability in 5E. If it's a Finesse weapon, you can elect to use DEX for it, no feat required.
 
I've never played D&D, but I've watched my ex-housemates do it, and surely one of the most crucial elements is having other people to play it with you?

Personally I want to see Chris become a DM. The hilarity that would ensue from real people trying to play one of Chris's Dimensional Merge sparkly pony hedgehog fantasies would be too much to handle. It would be like a classic Sonichu issue played out in dice-rolls and narration.
 
I can't imagine making a character like this and imagining having fun playing it. The best part of making DnD characters is their personalities and flaws. Playing a self insert Mary Sue would be extremely boring to anyone other than Chris.
 
You can play a perfectly legal stupid-fast furry by going Tabaxi Monk. But that would require reading the books and thinking a bit to figure out the synergy, which I don't think Chris is capable of doing.
 
fenny said:
You can play a perfectly legal stupid-fast furry by going Tabaxi Monk. But that would require reading the books and thinking a bit to figure out the synergy, which I don't think Chris is capable of doing.
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No, it has to be at the speed of sound. Like Sonic!

Someone is going to try to run a game for him, it's inevitable at this point. I'd bet 20 bucks he's already got offers in his email of people wanting to live stream games and shit with him. Best case scenario is that everyone is going to end up with a boring live stream where Chris gets his dick sucked.
 
Mr. Manchester said:
No, it has to be at the speed of sound. Like Sonic!

Someone is going to try to run a game for him, it's inevitable at this point. I'd bet 20 bucks he's already got offers in his email of people wanting to live stream games and shit with him. Best case scenario is that everyone is going to end up with a boring live stream where Chris gets his dick sucked.
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No fucking way someone can deal with "muh goddess powers" even ironically. The worst case scenario involves magic stones and revolves around Chris getting in the Hedgehog defensive position during stream.
 
While its unlikely anyone will ever sit down with Chris and let him seriously play that character, Chris's True and Honest Sonichu is going to become a meme in campaigns forever now.

I can already see the Dragon Articles being written now.

As a DND sperg, my only confusion stems from the fact that I thought Druids were the ones that transformed, not Rangers. But I don't expect CWC to know or care.
 
TrunksFromDragonballGT said:
how can a fighter archer do what a cleric can? Cleric‘s use healing magic and have the power of their patron god behind them. A fighter archer is a character that’s good with short and long range attacks.
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I meant a fighter archer can do what a ranger can. Rangers are only really good against an enemy of their choice, whereas fighter archers do a lot of damage against pretty much anything.
 
Dr W said:
So the question is how do we homebrew a "reasonable" Sonichu creature?




Just kidding.
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you really wanna know?

Just make it speed 30 feet, low light vision and some traits or subraces that let you mimic different pokemon types, sonichu lore or pikachu knockoffs. Just keep it short, simple and stupid to avoid going full on mary sue, right from the start like Chris did
 
andr0id psycho sho(ker said:
you really wanna know?

Just make it speed 30 feet, low light vision and some traits or subraces that let you mimic different pokemon types, sonichu lore or pikachu knockoffs. Just keep it short, simple and stupid to avoid going full on mary sue, right from the start like Chris did
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I thought about going full autism and homebrewing a Sonichu as a literal monster suitable for a party of around 10th-15th level to face in 3.5 or Pathfinder. Special Sonichus such as Magi-Chan, Punchy, and Chris-Chan would be far more dangerous than the bog standard Sonichu.


And Rosechus are CL5 unless in the presence of pickles, wherein they gain a +10 to their STR but -5 to their WIS, and may Rage like a Barbarian until either slain or the pickle is destroyed.
 
Dr W said:
So the question is how do we homebrew a "reasonable" Sonichu creature?
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Monster class only, save the sonichu as minor bosses or something. Sonichu would be a good villain for a mid level campaign, and I bet a generic Sonichu template could be toned down a tiny bit to make for the most annoying low-level boss in history. It would be really frustrating though, because until you kill one, they'd just keep Mary Sue-ing an unsatisfying resolution where they escape. Just RP'ing any monster as Chris might is a good way to get a table to hate them, I imagine.

But fuck homebrewing them into a PC class. There's books of copy-pasta on what you do with someone who'd unironically play that.
 
I’d love to see him play in L5R with something like this. A culturally rigid environment based on Medieval East Asia where non human characters had better stay the fuck out of the city or risk being murdered by every single person around them and the ever looming threat of the Taint is present all over the places which makes you mutate and go insane. Then again he’d very likely try to say his character was a sibling of one of the Kamis or something and immune to the Taint and any DM Worth his salt would make it so every NPC in the entire game was trying to murder Chris for being a sacreligious abomination disrespecting ancestors and tradition. If he got good enough rolls and managed to hold out he would eventually cause the Emperor to call all the Great Clans together to fight him, and Chris effectively causes world peace as everyone in the game tries to kill him.
 
MilkMage said:
I know nothing about DnD, so I don't know how he fucked up, but considering the fact that Chris is a fuckup, I definitely know he fucked something up. So would anyone mind explaining exactly what he fucked up and how badly he fucked it up?
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Imagine someone handed you their CV and it said they were 6' 8" 250lbs, had an 8 inch long dick, wrote "yes" under sex, and it was all scribbled in crayon
 
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