🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

[atomik fyre]

He shows a high degree of commitment. He's been making monthly issues of his comic for years, as well as updating his website with detailed plot summaries and references for pretty much all of his puns.

I'm not to sure he's actually drawn out all those comics. I'm sure that he's written them, but I'm positive that he is several months behind getting them drawn. I can't remember where I read it, but in a blog post he was talking about working on 3 issues simultaneously, issues that if you looked else where on his site had supposedly come out months prior. He was also talking once about getting behind and how 2 to 3 issues needed to come out in a certain month to stay on track. I think there's a reason we only see 3 - 5 pages of the comic from recent years, yet we can see completed issues for the first 2 years of the comics "publication." I'm pretty sure that what we can see is all that he has finished.

His biggest problem is that he has no sense of timing in comic form. I don't think he's read enough comics to develop and internalize it into his drawings. I find "Sonichu" easier to read than Sweet's comic work. He could really benefit from reading a few more comics as well as "Understanding Comics" but I think he refused someone's offer to get him a copy of it earlier in the thread. None of his jokes ever land because he doesn't know how to tell them. It's a simple failure of story telling that he can't grasp and will refuse to entertain. His line work, while scratchy, sometimes can reach acceptable levels, but it cannot overcome his inability to tell a comic story and get across what he wants. This is because he'll never study how to truly make a comic page work.

The second problem in his comics is that it doesn't draw the eye from panel to panel so that you have figure out what order to read the speech bubbles in. More than the scratchy and cluttered art and horrid coloring, this is what makes his comics unreadable for me. If from panel to panel I need to do a guessing game, I'm just going to get frustrated and give up. (Note: this isn't just a problem with Sweet, this ran rampant in early '90s comics from Image. They got by on their art, and art alone in the early days.)

In the end, I really think that Sweet would rather be an animator, or rather, one that makes a few rough story boards to go with an overly detailed story he has written and then tells his team to make it work. He makes comics, but still sees them as a low form of art, so he never saw why we were telling him that there is a wrong way to draw them.

 

[Le Bateleur]

Mixed Sweets time!

The CWC similarities continue piling up. Like Chris, Sweet has be known to:

EDIT: sometimes the similarities are just plain spooky...

[singing badly] I like the night life...I like to boogie....

Spoiler

Wear a bathrobe round the house when out of clean pants

Anyway, two sneezes over the past couple of days. I think it's from walking about in my bathrobe all weekend in this chill weather. All my pants are in the wash.

Take inspiration in their Love Quest from their dreams

Speaking of dreams, I once had a vision of a gorgeous girl with rainbow-colored hair inside a magical window...this was some ten years before the brony movement, but perhaps it was a sign....

Exaggerate when talking to girls on the internet (Sweet was 36 at the time of writing)

So you once mentioned you remembered the Q-Bert cartoon...that was 1984, so if you meant you saw them first run, that'd put you close to my age, say, around 29 or 30. Do you ever get grief for being an adult who enjoys cartoons? And do you have any favorites besides (obviously) MLP:FIM?

Want to sexualise cartoons aimed at children

See, this is why I would never do well writing for MLP: FIM. I'd have Applejack swearing like a sailor (ever heard a Southern girl get really riled up? You can hear her bellow clean across the neighborhood), Fluttershy secretly into some real kinky stuff, and Twilight Sparkle slacking off on her lessons.

Speaking of, any of you ever wonder if some of the MLP voice actresses have husbands or boyfriends who like it when they use the Pony voice in bed or when getting a little kinky on the phone? I bet it'd be kind of cute to be talked dirty to in the Fluttershy voice.

Cosplay

So for the last five years I've worn the same costume: plastic Sting mask, fedora, an old jacket and pants, and a work glove I rigged with a rusty metal thresher blade, to look like claws. I answer the door, scare the pee out of little kids (and a couple of mothers), and pass out a plethora of candy and cheap novelty Halloween candles. Great fun.

Spoiler: Yes there's a picture

Also, another entry in the "Sweet and Technology" file. Once again, technological process has confused Sweet, so his response is to demand that he be accommodated with special treatment.

You mean these facts? And these? And these are the selfsame people who routinely ignore my call for a DTV retroconversion box or an adaptor that will allow an Explorer 6 computer to read Explorer 7 disks. Why haven't they hired some private sector company--ideally an American one--to build these things yet? The need obviously exists, at least until the new technology has all the kinks worked out of it. (The software you recommended doesn't work. Something about 32-bit and 64-bit, I can't make heads or tails of it.)

 

[DrChristianTroy]

Anyway, two sneezes over the past couple of days. I think it's from walking about in my bathrobe all weekend in this chill weather. All my pants are in the wash.

Seriously? All you have to do is put your pants in the drier, crank the time and press the start button. That's is literally all you have to do. What a lazy fuck.

Not surprised he's creepy about cartoon ponies though. He fapped to Kim Possible which came out when he was in his 20's, of course he's a creeper.

Edit-

So for the last five years I've worn the same costume: plastic Sting mask, fedora, an old jacket and pants, and a work glove I rigged with a rusty \M/ETAL thresher blade, to look like claws. I answer the door, scare the pee out of little kids (and a couple of mothers), and pass out a plethora of candy and cheap novelty Halloween candles. Great fun.

So he's an Asylum version of Freddy but with an old ass WCW mask. What a mark.

 

[Ruin]

He doesn't know the difference between a 32 bit and a 64 bit OS, what a shock.

 

[Le Bateleur]

He doesn't know the difference between a 32 bit and a 64 bit OS, what a shock.

He also uses Windows and Explorer interchangeably.

Incidentally, I found the answer to why Sweet doesn't just go to another college since he's bann from ASU.

I am very self-conscious about my scratchy, breaking voice, so the bar scene is out. And how exactly do I "look around" for a college with the perks I ask? They don't exactly put them in the full-color brochure, and I would come off like a perverted heel if I asked a resident advisor, "So where are the best rooms to get a little---" followed by assorted lecherous sound effects.

He really seems to think that each ASU men's dorm has a magical Chinaphone, a hotline which young Alicia Silverstone lookalikes ring every night seeking phone sex, not caring how old the man who answers might be, or how raspy his voice.

ASU is the only place he can complete his Love Quest. It is his Attraction Location, and he has been banished by an evil Associate Dean.

EDIT:

He also really believes that the government has set up some "State bluescreen list" of blocked TV channels, rather than a combination of technical incompetence and living in the armpit of nowhere messing up his reception.

Also, it doesn't add up. If the DTV bill was signed in 2005, why was it sat on for four years, then Obama elected, and then a dealy bill followed by a mad four-month scramble to make secret preperations? What were ol' Barry's czars building into the plan? What do qubo and Fox, two channels with radically different programsming ethics, have in common to get most of its daily broadcast schedule put on a State bluescreen list? Why is NBC forbidden completely? What did they do wrong? I do recall hearing they refused to use the updated TV ratings systems (D,S,L,V)--maybe that's it.

 

[DrChristianTroy]

Also, it doesn't add up. If the DTV bill was signed in 2005, why was it sat on for four years, then Obama elected, and then a dealy bill followed by a mad four-month scramble to make secret preperations? What were ol' Barry's czars building into the plan? What do qubo and Fox, two channels with radically different programsming ethics, have in common to get most of its daily broadcast schedule put on a State bluescreen list? Why is NBC forbidden completely? What did they do wrong? I do recall hearing they refused to use the updated TV ratings systems (D,S,L,V)--maybe that's it.

There is so much comedy gold here but to just address his bit about the TV...
1- Qubo and Fox do have different ethics which is why both are featured. Now there's a channel for different demographics.
2- NBC isn't forbidden. That's just stupid.
3- " I do recall hearing they refused to use the updated TV ratings systems (D,S,L,V)--maybe that's it." which is why every NBC show, and every show for that matter, has a TV rating.

 

[Le Bateleur]

Sweet also has Chris-like levels of obliviousness.

When I said I had Explorer 8, you told me it was still in beta testing. So I correxed myself. Either way, my best solution is to invest in online file backup. With it I could access my desktop from any computer. The trouble is, it's expensive, and I've already sunk every nickel I have into upgrading my equipment. So I have to sell more books and comics to earn the money--which is difficult because I can't get the newspaper interviews I need for publicity, owing to my long-standing feud with my old bosses. It's a long ghost that has overshadowed and pretty much ruined the last decade of my life.

Clearly it's the lack of publicity that holds him back, and not that he's pushing a low-quality, racist product in a supersaturated market.

Spoiler: Well at least it's not black people again

Oh, and the newspapers need to make the first move. He's the newsmaker! They should come to him!

Wait, isn't it a newspaper's job to find me? I'm the newsmaker. I don't have the time and money to send out press kits to every little podunk rag in the tri-state area. As an alumnus of that University and onetime staffer of that paper I feel--to borrow a favorite word of the left--entitled to an interview with them. And most "conservative" newspapers either don't have the resources because they're too small and understaffed or are flat-out too scared to speak to me.

(backup)

 

[Locksnap]

Goddamn Jon, its been almost a century since the Chinese wore the queue. Thats a fucking racial stereotype from over one hundred years ago.

Also, that fucking quote about newspapers.

Wait, isn't it a newspaper's job to find me? I'm the newsmaker. I don't have the time and money to send out press kits to every little podunk rag in the tri-state area. As an alumnus of that University and onetime staffer of that paper I feel--to borrow a favorite word of the left--entitled to an interview with them. And most "conservative" newspapers either don't have the resources because they're too small and understaffed or are flat-out too scared to speak to me.

I get that hes delusional; we wouldn't be talking about him otherwise. But this is just so incredibly

 

[Shadow Fox]

So, Sweets wants to sell moar books and bring all those ugly secrets about the School Newspaper Illuminati to light, but when told to talk to local papers about it, balks because PRESS KITS ARE EXPENSIVE. What a baby.

And he keeps mentioning how his falling-out with the college paper ruined his standing in the journalism community FOREVERS, as though the school rag he worked on for ~6 months in 1997 is still haunting him years later. I would not be at all surprised if the staff there would have completely forgotten about him if he didn't keep whining at them to take him back, like a scorned lover.

Also note how he characterizes conservative newspapers as the underdog, "small and understaffed" compared to the juggernauts that are the LIBRUHL papers. Go, scrappy li'l conservatives, you can do it!

 

[MarineTrainedTard]

And he keeps mentioning how his falling-out with the college paper ruined his standing in the journalism community FOREVERS, as though the school rag he worked on for ~6 months in 1997 is still haunting him years later.

It's so bizarre that he seems to think that his college newspaper has some level of influence in the world of journalism on par with the Wall Street Journal or the BBC or something; had he been allowed to stay on the college paper, he'd be a chief reporter for The Washington Times or something, but now that same college paper is actively blocking his career at storied institutions of journalism; such is the power wielded by the college paper at Arkansas State University.

 

[Le Bateleur]

Hey, shopping carts can be dolled out. When I was a kid I totally had a tricked-out Hays cart with license plates wired to the front and sides, and some red paint splashed on the gate and the bumpers to look like blood. I used to collect and haul all sorts of neat stuff around with that baby....

(Source, backup)

 

[MrsFrizzle]

"Why is NBC forbidden" from what, exactly? What the hell is he even talking about? The cable provider in Blytheville has an NBC station on its lineup, plus CNBC, MSNBC, and NBC Sports.

 

[MarineTrainedTard]

Yeah, but Sweets doesn't have even the most basic, fundamental understanding of how televisions work, so there's probably a technical problem with his television equipment that causes problems when trying to watch certain channels.

So naturally, it's because the Communist Muslim American Emperor Obama I of Kenya has banned NBC by imperial decree.

 

[He Sets Me On Fire]

What an impressively stupid individual.

I mean, really, between this new information above, "What's an insurance card?", and being unable to find his way out of a hospital for eight hours, one begins to realize that Sweet is simply an unintelligent person. Being unfamiliar with new technology or how insurance works isn't the problem; it's that he's so intellectually incurious that he apparently couldn't look up information about this stuff on his own.

The disgustingly racist depiction of the Chinese fellah is, in my opinion, worse than his depiction of black people, and that's coming from an African American. For all of his bigotry, Sweet at least claims being victimized by black people, no matter how unlikely or one-sided the claim may seem. What the hell did the Chinese do to him?

Sweets is a living illustration of the old "crabs in a barrel" parable. Anyone who has a dollar more than he does needs to be attacked, and anyone who has a dollar less than he does needs to be shat upon.

Spot on. I couldn't agree more. Sweet is a small, small man, and he knows this. He has to put everybody else down to make himself feel bigger.

And how exactly do I "look around" for a college with the perks I ask? They don't exactly put them in the full-color brochure, and I would come off like a perverted heel if I asked a resident advisor, "So where are the best rooms to get a little---" followed by assorted lecherous sound effects.

Kee-ripes, what a cretin.
Hey, wait, hang on, hold the phone sex - Didn't Sweet say that the women would come to him? Why would he have to find the "best rooms"?

Finally - Alright, I'm stumped. Could somebody enlighten me about the whole 'sneeze' thing? I've read the description, but I don't get it.

 

[Shadow Fox]

Hey, shopping carts can be dolled out. When I was a kid I totally had a tricked-out Hays cart with license plates wired to the front and sides, and some red paint splashed on the gate and the bumpers to look like blood. I used to collect and haul all sorts of neat stuff around with that baby....

Like Matchbox cars?

 

[ToroidalBoat]

That kissing scene sort of looks like they're holding disembodied heads or something to me, because the bodies are stick figures on a dark background, or the stick bodies are barely visible in the frame, or both. I'm curious if what he draws looks clear and not jumbled to himself, even if many others have a hard time viewing it. I recall him saying that the difficult to read style is what gives the comics their "charm" and that others really like them.

Also, going in a "what if" direction, but I wonder how things would've turned out had Iconoclast not been kicked off the school paper during his career at ASU?

 

[BriarHeart]

Also, going in a "what if" direction, but I wonder how things would've turned out had Iconoclast not been kicked off the school paper during his career at ASU?

My money's on "pretty much the same, except that Sweetums would have a different scapegoat upon which to pin all of his shortcomings and inadequacies."

 

[WWWWolf]

Either way, my best solution is to invest in online file backup. With it I could access my desktop from any computer. The trouble is, it's expensive, and I've already sunk every nickel I have into upgrading my equipment.

"Let's see, the popular choices of personal cloud storage these days are Dropbox, Google Drive and OneDrive. All of which work pretty much everywhere, at least through web, and have reasonably sized free usage plans. Never mind that bullshit, though, I'm dead set on using this one particular cloud storage service aimed at small businesses that I heard about long ago. There are no other options for me but to use this one."

True newspaperman. True skills of investigation. Knows everything. Covers all major viewpoints.

 

[Henry Bemis]

Spent a good part of yesterday going through this whole thread, and I only have one thing to add.

When Ic made fun of Chris for piercing his taint, you have to remember that Chris got off his ass and got it done.

 

[He Sets Me On Fire]

"Let's see, the popular choices of personal cloud storage these days are Dropbox, Google Drive and OneDrive. All of which work pretty much everywhere, at least through web, and have reasonably sized free usage plans. Never mind that bullshit, though, I'm dead set on using this one particular cloud storage service aimed at small businesses that I heard about long ago. There are no other options for me but to use this one."

True newspaperman. True skills of investigation. Knows everything. Covers all major viewpoints.

See, this is what I mean by 'ignorant'. All Sweet would have to do is sit down at his computer for a few minutes and look this stuff up on a search engine. It's as if his intellectual capacity stops at "I want something", and cannot fathom the details associated with it. That he confused Windows 8 for "Explorer 8" really demonstrates his inability to do anything more with his mind than to make up ridiculous conspiracy theories in order to explain his massive failures in life.