🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

[He Sets Me On Fire]

#IsupportTheHottentot

 

[Adamska]

The Murderous Barber.
The Several Syncopations (with farts).
The Hottentot
The Bearded Snidley

The Mutton Chop Mauler
Burnside's Folly
The Dingleberry
Tanglepubes
The Hick Hussar
The Tom Thumb

 

[He Sets Me On Fire]

Why does he think writer for a college newspaper is his big ticket to fame and fortune? I don't know about ASU but at my university the paper's staff don't receive a compensation for their work other than class credit and resume padding.

ASU campus and The Herald in particular are Knuckle Neck's Manchester High, the Eden he's been kicked out of to which he desperately longs to return. In the hilariously demeaning reality of this life, his powerlessness and insignificance are made brutally clear to him. His mother controls his money; he can't be expected to handle either a credit card or a bank account. His brother - his younger brother, by ten years, mind - can easily slap him around like a thumb-shaped bop bag made out of hair and flesh. He can't drive, is alone, broke, roundly ignored, and without a snowball's chance in Texas when it comes to dating.

ASU represents a time in his life where he was more carefree, surrounded by loving fans and some of the most beautiful, upper-class Southern girls ever born. In other words, he was either completely oblivious to reality, or he looks back on those years with 3-inch thick delusion goggles in order to convince himself that somewhere far away, life can better for him, if only someone would fix his life (other than himself, of course).

Dr. Belch: Someone has to act as a mediator for this dispute. I concede the possibility that the sketch exists; they realize that two people can independently have the same idea, and then we try to find terms we can agree to settle on. Everybody gets something. Jan 11, 2015 at 4:32pm

Sweet said this on the patriot shoutbox. Is there any way at all to see what was said beforehand? I'd love to see what gave him the idea that ASU has anything to "settle on". Here are the terms: He's fired. The end. Easy enough.

 

[Holdek]

Sweet said this on the patriot shoutbox. Is there any way at all to see what was said beforehand? I'd love to see what gave him the idea that ASU has anything to "settle on". Here are the terms: He's fired. The end. Easy enough.

It was me asking him why he doesn't just watch the sketch, at least to note the differences between it and his column so as to better make a case that he didn't plagiarize it. But he's still attached to the delusion that he's going to get an appeal hearing all these years later.

 

[The I Scream Man]

I'd love to see what gave him the idea that ASU has anything to "settle on".

Firstly, did you just call a nigga Knuckle Neck? I shot beer out my noise (spoiler: not much fun). Secondly, and on topic, Sweetie seems to be laboring under the belief that plagiarism like the kind he committed was an honest mistake that anyone could make, even though he basically refuses to acknowledge that he committed it in the first place. This wouldn't be so crazy an idea (mistakes are made, after all) but that's not really the reason that bann happened again, is it?

He said himself he was difficult and ornery, impossible to deal with, and he probably took that mindset in with him to whatever disciplinary hearings he was forced to go to. I'm not trying to imply, implicitly or otherwise, that plagiarism isn't a big deal, either: it's huge, especially in journalism, but if he'd been contrite and humble he could probably have salvaged something out of it. If he was sufficiently remorseful, he may even have been allowed to remain on the Herald staff, although personally I doubt it. But either way, plagiarism in a college paper isn't the worst thing in the entire world, and Sweetness blew it way out of proportion by refusing to admit he was wrong at all ever in his life, a trend he proudly continues today. This of course ties into this belief:

It was me asking him why he doesn't just watch the sketch, at least to note the differences between it and his column so as to better make a case that he didn't plagiarize it. But he's still attached to the delusion that he's going to get an appeal hearing all these years later.

Emphasis mine of course. The problem here, as I'm sure we all can agree on, is that Sweetlips probably exhausted all rights to any more appeals ages ago. The problem here is that the school would gain nothing by having him return or be allowed to be readmitted: as far as I know (please correct me if I'm wrong here) he graduated and has his degree, in which case any obligation the school had is complete. Legally that's the core bond between school and student: complete your work to the satisfaction of faculty and administration and you get your degree, that's it, end of story.

So like a couple of us have been asking (I know I have), what is his endgame here? What does he really hope to accomplish? He says he wants to go back to Eden but it never was as he pictures it today, so what does that leave him? The opportunity to earn a new degree? I just really don't see the school giving him a second chance because there's no reason to, he was a nuisance who graduated and thus he should fuck off forever in their eyes.

Really I just have this suspicion that he wants to go back and live in the dorms and yadda yadda, all those stupid delusions that aren't at all based in reality, without having to take classes or anything, and of course the school won't allow that, because that's dumb as hell. I don't know guys, I'm just really confused here.

Edit for bonus content: I just remembered I thought I had before I made this delicious sandwich, and that was that it's not about readmission or anything like that, is it? I really don't think he's even that committed to living in the dorms again, as I think he realizes how unrealistic that is. I base this reasoning on the fact that if he really wanted to live in the dorms again, any dorms, he could just apply to a different school and they probably wouldn't give a shit one way or the other. So why ASU?

Best educated guess? I think it's because he is so adamant that he was right and they were wrong that he will do everything in his (extremely limited) power to see justice done. Basically, he wants to send in detectives, police, and everything in his power () because a grave injustice was done to the innocent virginal now-39-years-old manchild.

Like so many petulant, self-righteous manchildren before him (Gabe Navarro, St. Christine, peace be upon him, and many, many more) he just refuses to acknowledge that the world has moved on. In fact I just said Gaben and Chris but really I draw huge Moleman comparisons here, mentally, because if you squint hard enough, you can see Jon Thumb frantically typing about how "It is a CRIME to kick me out of the school paper for "plagiarism"!"

 

[Adamska]

Emphasis mine of course. The problem here, as I'm sure we all can agree on, is that Sweetlips probably exhausted all rights to any more appeals ages ago. The problem here is that the school would gain nothing by having him return or be allowed to be readmitted: as far as I know (please correct me if I'm wrong here) he graduated and has his degree, in which case any obligation the school had is complete. Legally that's the core bond between school and student: complete your work to the satisfaction of faculty and administration and you get your degree, that's it, end of story.

Honestly, with that degree, he should've applied and tried to intern at other papers during that time period right when he graduated, especially since there is no reason whatsoever to go back to the Herald. He recieved no pay during that time, would not recieve pay, and it would actually drain resources if he magically got a spot again. He's already got what he needs; he just is too damn stubborn to actually realize and use those resources. Hell, he STILL can work freelance for quite a few news sites of all sorts; they like to recruit people that reinforce the echo chamber after all. Most of them pay for articles too. So he is really just being lazy IMO.

So like a couple of us have been asking (I know I have), what is his endgame here? What does he really hope to accomplish? He says he wants to go back to Eden but it never was as he pictures it today, so what does that leave him? The opportunity to earn a new degree? I just really don't see the school giving him a second chance because there's no reason to, he was a nuisance who graduated and thus he should fuck off forever in their eyes.

If he was less of a slug, he might have been able to try and get a new degree. People do that somewhat regularly. However, his attitude makes them not likely to take him back. Also the debt he'd accumulate would destroy him totally.

Really I just have this suspicion that he wants to go back and live in the dorms and yadda yadda, all those stupid delusions that aren't at all based in reality, without having to take classes or anything, and of course the school won't allow that, because that's dumb as hell. I don't know guys, I'm just really confused here.

Honestly, that's my hypothesis too. He probably thought the dorms and the food were rights that he deserved to have at all times. He probably also took loans or something like that to hold off paying for that stuff, or his mom did it for him, thus making it look free to him. Either way, his expectations hilariously makes him more like the stereotypical liberal welfare leech he hates than many of his detractors; many of whom can do things like support themselves, be productive, and try to make something of themselves with the tools they have.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Earlier in this thread, I asked Iconoclast why he doesn't just move out of his mom's place. In response, he said something about wanting to move to apartments near Arkansas State University, IIRC. So as the man of ice cream said, he doesn't expect to live on the dorms again, but he still wants access to the university he was banned from.

 

[Holdek]

It seems a lot of bad things happened around the same time in his life: his father died, he got kicked off the paper for plagiarism, and he got trolled by a girl he was in love with. So he just more or less gave up on life, using that time splice as an excuse not to reengage.

As others here have noted, he could have moved on from it. A more mentally healthy person could have even gone on to have a career in journalism, while still trying to get that plagiarism accusation recanted. The two aren't mutually exclusive. But it's easier to just hide away from real life than to get back up on the horse.

Earlier in this thread, I asked Iconoclast why he doesn't just move out of his mom's place. In response, he said something about wanting to move to apartments near Arkansas State University, IIRC. So as the man of ice cream said, he doesn't expect to live on the dorms again, but he still wants access to the university he was banned from.

Yeah but he did write a long, angry blog entry when his old dorm building was demolished, and said that he would have liked to live in the exact same dorm room once he triumphantly returned to ASU.

 

[Le Bateleur]

I think Sweet's desire to go back to campus is because he wants to complete his lovequest.

Although he knows deep down that Ashlaay was a troll, he's managed to convince himself that all college dorms have a selection of upper-class Catholic girls calling up the landline wanting "phone fun".

Sweet really seems to believe that if he goes back to campus, young girls will throw themselves at him.

It's pretty sad, really.

 

[He Sets Me On Fire]

Firstly, did you just call a nigga Knuckle Neck? I shot beer out my noise (spoiler: not much fun).

Glad you liked it!

He said himself he was difficult and ornery, impossible to deal with, and he probably took that mindset in with him to whatever disciplinary hearings he was forced to go to. [...] But either way, plagiarism in a college paper isn't the worst thing in the entire world, and Sweetness blew it way out of proportion by refusing to admit he was wrong at all ever in his life, a trend he proudly continues today.

What's more, not only does he not show any remorse, but he also doesn't defend himself. "I stared at her scarred-up neck 'cuz she was hot." That's it. That's all. No "But I wasn't staring at her!!" or "She should've worn a scarf!", just a straight-up declaration of his lousy behavior. It's as if we're supposed to accept that he did wrong, and ... that's it.

So like a couple of us have been asking (I know I have), what is his endgame here? What does he really hope to accomplish?

If I may:

Because it wasn't my fault. I wasn't perfect, sure, but there comes a point when they have to say, "You know, we've punished him enough. Let's let him come back for a visit, have a nice meal, talk to a few nice girls."

So, here we see Jon in his natural state: His hand out, begging for free stuff that he's done nothing to deserve, and determining that he's been "punished enough", despite the fact that the terms of his "punishment" was never up to him to begin with. As I stated above, whatever he has done, he sees no wrongdoing in his wrongdoing.

However, this is only the fantasy aspect of Sweet's desires, the whipped frosting on the trip to Free-Food-and-Blowjobs-Disneyland that he makes ASU, and college life in general, out to be. But it's only surface. Things get darker:

So what have I learned? I learned trying to stand up for myself didn't work, andafter all that nothing has really changed.

Spoiler: Sad, unfortunate, and utterly side-splitting abuse listed here.

I realized then I couldn't go on this way. I just can't deal with him or this twisted, moronic little status quo anymore. I want out. I'm tired of his unrelenting mental and physical abuse. I'm tired of him bullying, stealing, and tormenting me. I'm tired watching him flip out over the tiniest thing, bellowing and punching holes in the walls and breaking windows. I'm tired of him constantly hocking phlegm and spitting on the floor, making anobnoxious, persistent ratcheting noise that crawls up my skin and sounds like he's about to lose a lung. I'm tired of sitting around trapped in this house starving like a dog for days because he gobbles up all the food in thehouseand then takes the family car out for days at a time so we can't go shopping for more groceries. Above all, I'm tired of his cavalier attitude towards his thievery. Every time he's confronted about paying me back, he rolls his eyes innocently and says, "Duh, I is not steal ya's mo-neys." I don't think that burned-out moron even knows right from wrong anymore, or even remembers what he does five minutes after it's over.

Something needs to change. And since he won't do the decent thing and just die, I have no choice but to move out of the house. I need to run back to AS(S)U and just hide there until he finally screws up enough to get locked away for good. Then and only then can I truly be safe, happy, and free.

So, Sweet wants escape as well as elation, and he has completely given up on his ability to secure either on his own. He's chosen to quite literally hide at a state university until his brother goes down for the third time. Shaggy from Scooby Doo would spit in this guy's face.

That is where you guys come in. Visit my site. Buy more books, buy some comics, spend, spend, spend. I will save up every penny towards finally living my dream. I will move into a dorm, or maybe an off-campus apartment, which will allow me full access to the AS(S)U perks package. I will have the life I want. I will be free. No one will ever hurt me, insult and ridicule me daily, or steal my money or my Hot Pockets and Ramens behind my back ever again.

"Fix it all for me! Gimme gimme gimme! Stand up for me so I don't have to stand up for myself! Buy my comics so I can live my dream of endless perks perks peeerrrrrrrrks!!! "

My critics insist I will be nothing but a leech bumming around the campus, doing nothing, contributing nothing. Untrue. I plan to take a few courses and get a job working in the school library, or perhaps the bookstore, to earn enough money to finally move on. However, my real mission there will be as a conservative community organizer.

And, as if he realized at long last that people might want something in return for their investment, other than his drawn-with-his-anus comic, he adds that he can indeed contribute something to society. As a community organizer.

Sheesh.

 

[John Titor]

I'm just trying to show my fellow conservatives who the enemy is. Their sneering elitism, their blatant hypocrisy, their sociopathic tendencies-- this is what we fight against, the "progressive" ideology we have worked for years to expose and crush. Forcing people to move forward in their thinking when they aren't ready for it is wrong. They'll either vapor-lock emotionally and totally shut down, or go too far embracing change and end up ruining their lives through their excess. Trust me, I know. Most pf my problems in college came about because I listened to well-meaning but horrible advice to "look outside [m]y narrow little definition of normal" from a man I once considered a mentor figure. No one warned me not to get too greedy.

"I can't figure things on my own! Someone do it for me!

I lost everything. So, never again. Not only have I committed myself to dragging my feet on progress, but I will take as many people with me back to the cave as I can while the rest of the idiots run screaming and gibbering off the cliff. The left's tiny, backwards minds can't grasp that change doesn't have to always go forward-- it's a two-way street. Things can be changed back.

Everyone, gather 'round the circle!

Nothing

I have said compares to condoning attempted murder over a minor disturbance or defecating into someone's mouth because you don't agree with them

(link unavailable because the site is conveniently "down for maintenance" now). There is something deeply, stupidly wrong with these people.

Read more: http://usaspatriot.proboards.com/user/49/recent#ixzz3OhQKWKKt

Except perhaps the part where you said certain dead black people, especially Tupac, makes you happy.

EDIT: The quoting got messed up and I can't fix it for some reason.

 

[Holdek]

He's crazy in the head but there's only so much sympathy you can extend to a man who refuses to get mental help. Kind of like...oh, you know who I'm about to mention already

 

[Le Bateleur]

Nothing we have said compares to threatening to taze your enemies, drive them to an abandoned warehouse, and set them on fire. Or claiming the V-Tech shooter was partially justified. Or suggesting that a 12 year old rape victim was a sexual predator and her rapist was the true victim.

Which are all things that Jonathan M Sweet has done.

 

[He Sets Me On Fire]

I have a strategy for debating: wear down my opponent with every conceivable counter-argument so they tire and lose focus, get them screaming and red-faced, and then record their angry responses for use later. Thus, people get a change to see what gibbering buffoons my enemies are, and they become that much easier to take down.

Uhh .... no, not really. Here, let me ...

I have a strategy for debating: delude myself into thinking I'm wearing down my opponent with every conceivable half-truth, pathetic power fantasy, and hilarious sob story, so they break down and give me free things. When this inevitably fails, I'll retreat like I'm being chased down by my little brother, blim blim gibbering and complaining about the meanie liberals the whole way.

 

[24isthehighestnumber]

This wiener has never won a debate in his miserable life. In his own head I'm sure he's a force of nature, but in the real world his record is evident.

 

[MrsFrizzle]

There are other universities in the world. Hell, there are other universities in the state of Arkansas.

 

[Bound2]

Dr. Belch

: Only with a lawyer and the 1997 editorial staff present. Besides, how do I know that clip is real? It could be an elaborate fake. If my former bosses had contacted SNL directly for a tape of the show, I'd at least be certain of its authenticity. Jan 10, 2015 at 2:51am *

Marty McFly: Have you tried contacting NBC? Jan 10, 2015 at 3:24am

Newsman Jo Hatte: Wouldn't it be a good idea to check the clip was real before you round up a lawyer and the 1997 Herald people? Might avoid a potential "Treasure of Al Capone's Vault" moment. Jan 10, 2015 at 7:59am

Holdek: LOL why do you need a lawyer present to watch it? And it's real; it's on SNL's section of the website. Jan 11, 2015 at 12:27am

Dr. Belch: Someone has to act as a mediator for this dispute. I concede the possibility that the sketch exists; they realize that two people can independently have the same idea, and then we try to find terms we can agree to settle on. Everybody gets something. Jan 11, 2015 at 1:32am

Holdek: No, I mean just watching the sketch on your own at first. Your viewing of it doesn't effect your argument. Believing that your seeing it changes whether or not it exists is engaging in magical thinking. Jan 11, 2015 at 1:56am

Marty McFly: I have never seen the Eiffel Tower before; ergo, it does not exist. That's how much sense your argument makes. Jan 11, 2015 at 3:43am

Ubs: Ehhh............. THAT IS GREAT OMAR!

I am happy for you. Jan 11, 2015 at 3:43am

Dr. Belch: There's a huge chasm of difference between the two, McFly. The Eiffel Tower never destroyed your life and cost you everything you ever loved. My former bosses are sociopaths. I want to honestly go into my new hearing saying I have never seen that sketch. Jan 11, 2015 at 11:58pm

Dr. Belch: I come here to get away from you people at the CWCiki Koala forum. Why are you here making trouble? yesterday at 12:00am

Kolonel Koala: Oh, we're not here to make trouble. We're just a band of fearless newpapermen, pursuing the story wherever it may take us! 10 hours ago

CB: Because they want to stir the pot and cause trouble. 10 hours ago

Ron: Treenbeen's been shamed.... I think she realizes what she did was wrong now. She hasn't shown her face in awhile. Well, people learn... 10 hours ago

Trollis: Well, people learn... except for Dr.Belch.. and yes he has proven that many times over the years and keeps doing it! Belch if you don't do anything about your current life situation you will end up on the street. 8 hours ago *

Treenbeen: I've been shamed, have I? That's cute. Hate to burst your bubble, babe, but I've been busy doing things that normal adults do, like working, having a social life...I still find it fascinating how everyone except Dr. Belch is in the wrong here. 7 hours ago *

Treenbeen: What exactly was I supposed to "learn" from all of this? How exactly have I "shamed" myself? By standing up for what I believe and giving legitimate valid reasons for it? For calling out nonsense when I see it? Sorry if you thought I was hiding. 7 hours ago

Treenbeen: I was just busy being a productive member of society. I'm sorry if you took my posts in the News Thread as an apology. They weren't. I was offering to leave because you seem to value your peace and quiet here rather than have adult discussions. 7 hours ago

Treenbeen: As life would have it, I ended up being too busy to come to the site a lot, and look what happened: nothing changed. So what exactly am I supposed to think I did "wrong"? 7 hours ago

Treenbeen: Talking to other people? My GOD, what HAVE I done?

7 hours ago *

Jackie Chan: Trabble? Nobody's giving you trabble. There's no rule here that we can't ask questions.

What exactly caused this?

 

[Meowthkip]

The Eiffel Tower never destroyed your life and cost you everything you ever loved.

I am picturing a movie about a man being stalked by the Eiffel Tower, who is sentient and involved in a massive conspiracy to ruin his life. He goes in for The Big Interview as a reporter at a Very Important Paper, only to find his potential employer, shaking hands with the Eiffel Tower, who now has a press badge and a little trilby with a "press" label sticking out of the band around it.

It's really, really funny to imagine.

 

[The I Scream Man]

While I don't regret my actions to date or any of the words I've said (that would require me to have feelings ), I do regret causing trouble for that forum and its inhabitants. @Treenbeen and the rest of them seem alright, and they had no idea they had a lunatic in their midst...like I said earlier, I can definitely see it from their point of view. We must seem like the aggressors to people who aren't coming at it with our mindset.

So yeah, sorry Treen. Still glad you came, because lols are like food: best when shared.

 

[DrChristianTroy]

I have a strategy for debating: wear down my opponent with every conceivable counter-argument so they tire and lose focus, get them screaming and red-faced, and then record their angry responses for use later. Thus, people get a change to see what gibbering buffoons my enemies are, and they become that much easier to take down.

Which he STILL lost at. He tried this tactic and we all basically shut this down. Hell I think I used his tactic and outlasted him. I miss those inane debates.

What exactly caused this?

A toxic environment? Admittedly this part of Iconoclast is something I don't know much about but it just see how they react to someone joining another forum is absolutely ridiculous.