💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

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When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 17 1.1%

  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.2%

  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.4%

  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 2.8%

  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 16.6%

  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 252 16.2%

  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 902 58.0%
  • Total voters
    1,556
790205


Inb4 GoFundMe: Medical costs for Jack Scalfani's 3rd stroke that left him paralyzed.
 
captkrisma said:
Next stop on the Strokin' With Jack Burger Wars: a random Whattaburger in Alabama. Apparently Tammy never had one (which is understandable since they're a 'TexArkanna' thing). She will probably order a basic cheeseburger, not knowing that you can top the burgers with damn near anything they have in the restaurant.
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i wonder how jack and his friend came up with their stops for this trip

the first two places he went to have great ratings on yelp while the 3rd place (shaggy's) has an average rating. i'm assuming he just googled "best burger in ________" since shaggy's is the first result if you search best burger in huntsville, AL

EDIT: jack is doing a live stream at whataburger
 
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Aaway said:
EDIT: jack is doing a live stream at whataburger
https://youtube.com/watch?v=RO9NXcs9PoA
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As predicted, Tammy orders a plain jane cheeseburger with ketchup. She doesn't like jalapenos, and says she prefers In-and-Out over Whattaburger because of the thousand island dressing (which makes sense since they drown their food in it). Also, someone convinced the people eating with Jack to dip their burger in their chocolate shake. Tammy cusses on stream, and they're all going to hell for ordering fries instead of onion rings.
 
Aaway said:
EDIT: jack is doing a live stream at whataburger
https://youtube.com/watch?v=RO9NXcs9PoA
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"Yummers" - 300lb 50 year old man.
"It took us a month to eat BBQ after the BBQ Wars Tour!" Sorry for virtue signaling, but I don't think I've ever had BBQ more than once a month to begin with.
I find it obnoxious that it's Jack's show, but he holds the camera so the camera is on his friend 95% of the time.
790249

Dunks the burger into Thousand Island Dressing.
790254

Fucking destroys it, cot dam Tammy, making love to that burger.

Tammy: Just so they know, we really don't eat everything.
Jack: We're probably going to leave the shake, we're not eating that much. You guys were concerned about us overindulging.

Their friends, a little overweight but normal enough to not be too self-conscious, are silent and give a little eyebrow shake to say "yeah sure".
You go to 3 burger places in a day and you want me to believe you only have 1 bite of hamburger each? So you only eat 3 bites of hamburger in a day? Your friends finished off their burger, while you, who regularly consumes twice as many daily calories as they do, only eat a bite of a burger before you're done? Yeah ok.

Edit: "Will you hit the X up there?" at the end of the stream made me laugh
 
Ok, so if he's ordering a ton of food, taking a couple bites and then leaving the rest, how is that better? That's wasteful as fuck.
 
captkrisma said:
As predicted, Tammy orders a plain jane cheeseburger with ketchup. She doesn't like jalapenos, and says she prefers In-and-Out over Whattaburger because of the thousand island dressing (which makes sense since they drown their food in it). Also, someone convinced the people eating with Jack to dip their burger in their chocolate shake. Tammy cusses on stream, and they're all going to hell for ordering fries instead of onion rings.
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What the hell is the whole point of these stupid "burger wars" that Jack likes to put on? Especially when you're visiting fast food restaurants of all places.
 
The windego isn't sated, so Jack makes another fucking stop for burgers. This time at Hamburger Heaven in Birmingham. For those not keeping score, Jack ate at Whattaburger approximately less than two hours before this stop. Jack's order looks to be double cheeseburger with extra mayo.

This is before Jack's scheduled stop at Baha Burgers in about one more hour.
 
Jesus...I actually believe that Jack might just be taking a bite or two of the burgers and leaving. Next stop is in a few hours in Atlanta. Grindhouse is a chain in Atlanta (there's one in the airport as well), so it makes me kind of bummed that they're not hitting up Vortex for the 'Fat Elvis' burger. Double cheeseburger with fried banana, bacon, and peanut butter...right up Jack's alley.

Edit: Jack's path of burger destruction is likely taking him towards Charlotte, NC before they loop around and take highway 40 back to Nashville.
 

"This is the yucky part; cleaning your grill. And it has to be done! Don't think you can burn it off and just walk away."

What is Jack's obsession with cleaning his grills? If he didn't leave such big chunks of meat in his cookers, he literally could just burn and brush the remaining debris off the grates.
 
Aaway said:
i think he did mention that he was going to give away his leftovers to the homeless
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Why does he even bother with that lie? Are we really supposed to believe he's walking up to some homeless dude with a cheeseburger with Jack drool and spittle on this mangled fucking thing that he ate like a filthy pig? If I were homeless I'd stab anyone doing that.
 
If they want to be believable about not eating all of the food, and they're just doing a taste test, they should just split one instead of being wasteful pigs.
 
Birthday Dickpunch said:
If they want to be believable about not eating all of the food, and they're just doing a taste test, they should just split one instead of being wasteful pigs.
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They bought 2 burgers and 2 fries for 4 people. The other normal-ish couple ate their burger and fries while Jack/Tammy took 1 bite of the burger on camera, barely touched fries and sipped a milkshake on screen. Then assured us they weren't eating it all. Fucking self-conscious liars.
 
Zaryiu said:
Jack found a way
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So my joke of him just having a warehouse filled with unsold product is true... fucking hell Jack that's a sign you need to revamp the formula. Hell, most products do that anyway... oh wait. Too Hard.

captkrisma said:
The windego isn't sated, so Jack makes another fucking stop for burgers. This time at Hamburger Heaven in Birmingham. For those not keeping score, Jack ate at Whattaburger approximately less than two hours before this stop. Jack's order looks to be double cheeseburger with extra mayo.

This is before Jack's scheduled stop at Baha Burgers in about one more hour.
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Four goddamn burgers in the span of not even a couple hours apart... and of course he gets a meal slathered in mayo; Gobbling Jack needs to maximize his artery clogging potential to meet his yearly stroke quota. And then this comes in:
captkrisma said:
Jesus...I actually believe that Jack might just be taking a bite or two of the burgers and leaving. Next stop is in a few hours in Atlanta. Grindhouse is a chain in Atlanta (there's one in the airport as well), so it makes me kind of bummed that they're not hitting up Vortex for the 'Fat Elvis' burger. Double cheeseburger with fried banana, bacon, and peanut butter...right up Jack's alley.

Edit: Jack's path of burger destruction is likely taking him towards Charlotte, NC before they loop around and take highway 40 back to Nashville.
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I'm actually gaining weight and feeling chest pain just from reading about Jack's Horkathon.
 
AnOminous said:
Why does he even bother with that lie? Are we really supposed to believe he's walking up to some homeless dude with a cheeseburger with Jack drool and spittle on this mangled fucking thing that he ate like a filthy pig? If I were homeless I'd stab anyone doing that.
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Seriously, just get a to-go box. Eat it later. Viewers are already second guessing your only eating one or two bites of hamburger at 5 places each in a day; nobody's buying that youre gonna give it to the homeless, and if they are, theyre cringing and hoping you wont.

Dude just take it home in a to-go box and say youre gonna eat it later or let Jr have some (Jack didnt think of this because he would choke Jr out if Jr even reached a hand out to take a fry off of Jack's plate--he would never let that happen). It saves face for you, and you dont have to lie and look like an idiot. Every other food reviewer Ive seen that tastes multiple items does this. Chow's Supertaster god rest his soul, did that.
 
Deadwaste said:
why does she keep doing that with her tongue?
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She watched one too many nature documentaries.
Aunt Myrna said:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=fUrzGLW3mL4
"This is the yucky part; cleaning your grill. And it has to be done! Don't think you can burn it off and just walk away."

What is Jack's obsession with cleaning his grills? If he didn't leave such big chunks of meat in his cookers, he literally could just burn and brush the remaining debris off the grates.
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He is obsessed with cleaning his grills because he can't keep feasting on human flesh if the feds find the evidence. Why do you think he has two dozen working grills setup in his backyard? It's so he can process an entire human carcass in one fell swoop.
 
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