"Win a Date With Russell Greer"
In an Amtrak train rolling down the track / In a hand-me-down suit, sitting in the back
In his hand, some gas station flowers / He'll be in Reno in a couple of hours
Russell Greer is the man of this story / Headed to the brothels to do some whoring
The Girlfriend Treatment and then get laid / He never scored unless he paid
Chorus:
Oh, winning a date with Russell Greer / That's a prize every woman fears
He'll tell you all about his legal fights / And won't shut up until you've heard his plights
Yeah, be prepared to recognize his genius / then get on your knees to suck him his penis
If you win a date with Russell Greer (Win a date with Russell Greer) / Girl, if you win a date with Russell Greer (Win a date with Russell Greer
The train rolls up to the station / His knob-knees knock with anticipation
Drool on his chin and he's breathing heavy / Came in his pants six times already
In the Cat House girls show off their goods / And Greer struggles to hide his wood
The girls look at him like some kind of curse / because how could their day get any worse
(Chorus)
And the rap verse goes a little somethin' like this (Kick it!)
Baby sorry if this song is cheesy, but I gotta tell ya Russell Greer is sleazy / goin' to Insta, begging models to "Please me!"
His face is saggin', his lyrics be draggin' / Ev'ryday parents and bosses be naggin'
To get wit da program and get of tha Instagram / But Russ would rather cuss and fuss until he crumbles to dust and rust and when he finally goes bust / Them Kiwis be smilin' and Taylor be stylin' and friv'lous lolsuits Russ'll still be filin'
And now it is time for me to complete my rhyme / But winning a date with Greer is truly a crime
(Chorus)
And Russ is leaving earlier than planned / 'Cos he didn't have much cash on hand
He kicked, he screamed, he tried to shout / Until the bouncer had to toss him out
He stands alone in the driving rain / Waits for a cab to bring him to the train
And deep inside him builds a burning rage / And he posts his lies on his Facebook page
He's pointing finger and trying to shame / Insisting he's not the one to blame
He rants and raves, but at the end of the day / No one believes the shit he has to say
(Chorus)
(Chrous)
Yeah, stay away from Russell Greer
Just stay away from Russell Greer
Girl, stay away from Russell Greer
Stay away from Russel Greer.