Captain Marvel - Literally, from "her" to "hero"

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Are you actually going to watch this flick?

  • No

    Votes: 74 17.0%
  • Fuck, no

    Votes: 177 40.7%
  • Not in cinemas

    Votes: 81 18.6%
  • Yes

    Votes: 40 9.2%
  • (((Yes)))

    Votes: 20 4.6%
  • Twitter told me I must, I can't say no, you white-cis-sexist-oppresive scum!

    Votes: 43 9.9%

  • Total voters
    435
I don't want to live in a post Salt Mine world where people don't remember @CatParty posting "pissbabies be salty".
 
“hauling in $358 million in North America alone and $645 million internationally.”

Yeah that’s about what I expected. Most Marvel seem to break a billion when over half of the profits are from China money.

This doesn't just apply to Marvel movies, but in general the reported China box office take should always be taken with a big grain of salt. There's two reasons for this:

A) Showing agreements in China work differently than those in the US. While it's a somewhat complicated topic to compare them because US and European theaters use a sliding scale based on how long the movie has been playing to determine the portion of each ticket sale the studio gets, the long story short version is every $1 of gross ticket sales in China is a significantly lower contributor to net profits for a film than $1 of gross ticket sales in other markets (the standard in China seems to be that the studio gets - at most - a fixed 25% of each ticket sold).

B) China is widely understood to heavily falsify ticket sales numbers to "save face" because ownership of theaters showing a movie and investment in the western movie production company that made it frequently come from the same individuals. All of the crazy conspiracy theories about empty theaters and fake ticket sales for Captain Marvel are things that we know are regularly done by Chinese theaters. Last year it was estimated that up to 40% of ticket sales reported in China might be fraudulent.
 
Nothing to do with the hype for Infinity War/Endgame though, not at all.
719502
 
Finally saw this in the movie theater at the request of my husband, who wanted to see this for completion's sake before Endgame. I agreed to buckle down and see it.

All of my issues with the spoilers and how they affect the MCU's continuity still stand ten fold. This movie is a clusterfuck, and I hate it. This is the only MCU movie that I consider to be a BAD movie. Yes, that includes movies like Thor: The Dark World and Ant-Man & The Wasp-- This movie is far worse than those two.

My favorite performances were Samuel L. Jackson (despite the decisions made about Fury's character that I HATE), and Ben Mendelsohn (despite the decisions made about the Skrulls that I HATE). Their chemistry was very good, albeit very brief. And yes, what everyone has said about the de-aging CGI for Samuel L. Jackson is true: It's incredible. Definitely the most impressive feat of the entire movie.

If I had to compare this movie to anything ... It would 100% be Man of Steel and a little bit of Suicide Squad. Like MOS, Captain Marvel is guilty of distracting non-linear storytelling that KILLS the pacing, and action sequences that are so dull that you are completely desensitized by them at the end. And like Suicide Squad, Captain Marvel tried to be a "hip" and "cool" movie with all of the woefully forced 90's references (that Hot Topic kids like so much) and the cringey song selections to distract people from the godawful story. When DC does it, it's shit. When Captain Brie does it, though ... It's amazing and empowering! Yeah, fuck the critics. DC fanboys, while I don't agree with them on much about the DCEU, have every single right to raise a stink about the critics now. And DC fanboys should be pissed that the media has erased Wonder Woman's history in a mere two years because of Disney.

Right now, I'm pretty pissed that we didn't get a Fury and Coulson throwback buddy cop 90s movie instead. It could have easily been about the search for the "missing pilot" that is Carol Danvers, and it could have lead to them discovering that aliens exist. The movie would end with them finding/rescuing Carol from the Kree (with Talos' help-- a Skrull who is a refugee from both the Kree and the Skrulls-- see what I did there to not piss off fans of the comics?), only to discover before the credits that she has powers now. Then bim bam boom, that would have led to a PROPER Captain Marvel (or Ms. Marvel) origin movie. Wouldn't have been perfect, and things in the MCU's continuity would still be messy, but this would have made things a lot better. And most importantly, at least we would have gotten a much more enjoyable standalone movie (messing up the continuity or not).
 
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Finally saw this in the movie theater at the request of my husband, who wanted to see this for completion's sake before Endgame. I agreed to buckle down and see it.

In my case, I just said, "Fuck that" and that was it. I've skipped 3 or 4 MCU movies this way and they were all absolutely inconsequential to the grand scheme of things.
 
In my case, I just said, "Fuck that" and that was it. I've skipped 3 or 4 MCU movies this way and they were all absolutely inconsequential to the grand scheme of things.

Even though some MCU movies have been "skippable" in the scheme of the overarching story (The Incredible Hulk and Ant-Man & The Wasp come to mind, for starters), I've found something to like/enjoy about every MCU movie (flaws and all) ... Until Captain Marvel, that is.

Like, I'm one of those fans/morons who will defend Thor: The Dark World because I like it just enough ... So for ME to say that I hated Captain Marvel should scare some people about the movie's quality (or lack thereof). lol.
 
I said it earlier, but Cap Marvel's flattest point is Marvel herself, which is what sucked the fun out of it. I wanted to know what everyone else was up to. By comparison, Thor can carry a movie with Hemsworth's enthusiasm alone.

This, incidentally, is why I'm one of the three people who enjoyed Batman and Robin. Arnold was clearly having the time of his life playing Mister Freeze, and it was catching.
 
I said it earlier, but Cap Marvel's flattest point is Marvel herself, which is what sucked the fun out of it. I wanted to know what everyone else was up to. By comparison, Thor can carry a movie with Hemsworth's enthusiasm alone.

This, incidentally, is why I'm one of the three people who enjoyed Batman and Robin. Arnold was clearly having the time of his life playing Mister Freeze, and it was catching.
Funny you moaned at me refusing to watch it so people can't accuse me of being a hypocrite when the MCU inevitably declines. But to be fair you are 100% right.
Batman and Robin is far more entertaining because of Arnold, and the film isn't as depressingly mediocre, but so bad it's hilarious/entertaining.
 
At this point, I've probably seen more MCU movies on dvd than in theaters. And I regret seeing most the ones I did see in theaters (IM2, GotG2, Dark World, Ant-Man, AoU).

Like, I'm one of those fans/morons who will defend Thor: The Dark World because I like it just enough

That 'just enough' better be Kat Dennings' amazing rack, because I can't think of any other redeeming qualities in The Dark World.
 
At this point, I've probably seen more MCU movies on dvd than in theaters. And I regret seeing most the ones I did see in theaters (IM2, GotG2, Dark World, Ant-Man, AoU).



That 'just enough' better be Kat Dennings' amazing rack, because I can't think of any other redeeming qualities in The Dark World.

I need more fat tittied Dennings in my MCU. Smirking bitch is a delight.
 
I need more fat tittied Dennings in my MCU. Smirking bitch is a delight.

Only problem with that was Kat Dennings herself. The moment she walked on-screen and started generally shitting up the place was when all hope and enthusiasm for the movie died for me.

The intro with the Dark Elves was exactly the sort of treatment Thor needed imo - as was everything between him and his comrades prior to Earth-related activities - but then she comes in with her "lolstoopid" routine and it was over. It was fine when she was some super off-hand third wheel in the original, but her role in the second felt more obnoxious than anything else.

Would also have to say that the guy dropping the car keys through a spatial distortion was the dumbest thing that had ever happened in the MCU for a while, because nobody with half a brain would drop an item of value into something they may never retrieve it from again: Common Sense 101.
 
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