Lovequest Leaked Catie Texts

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drmccoy said:
As for rest? All I have to say is "Ew". Chris has serious issues that will prevent him from having a meaningful relationship. Part troll, mostly Chris right here. I honestly don't know if he'll ever be able to find a women who will put up with this weird stuff.
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Heh, you don't know? Well, I can tell you: no, no Chris won't ever be able to find a woman who will put up with his weird stuff.
 
Marvin said:
Heh, you don't know? Well, I can tell you: no, no Chris won't ever be able to find a woman who will put up with his weird stuff.
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The thing about people like Chris is even they wouldn't put up with someone similar. There's literally no one out there for him.
 
There's a lot to say about this, but I think my favorite part is his heart melting like the burning Lego pieces.
 
Marvin said:
Heh, you don't know? Well, I can tell you: no, no Chris won't ever be able to find a woman who will put up with his weird stuff.
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And god help Chris if he ever does, because any woman willing to tolerate Chris is bound to be even worse herself. Think Barb v2.0 on steroids with added crazy.
 
Thetan said:
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I don't really care about Chris putting sex toys up his ass, but a washcloth? To "clean the crap out?" I know there's been speculation about the box of enemas in the "modeling" selfie and how they might be a treatment for Chris's encopresis, but even if he has a decent medical reason to be concerned about his rectal hygiene (and not just a desire to be "ready" for all the porn-star sex he'll never have), it's legitimately concerning that he thinks he can or should just scrub down internal surfaces with a washcloth. Sometimes it's the little details that remind you how confused Chris can be about very basic things and how amazing it is that he's somehow skated through to this point.
 
timtommy said:
Ann Boleyn lived 500 years ago. Assuming that the gap between generations is about 25 years, that is 20 generations ago. The number of direct ancestors you have doubles each generation (you have 2 parents, 4 grandparents, 8 grandparents etc.). That means you have over 1 million direct ancestors 20 generations ago. Since the population of England was under 3 million in Ann Boleyn's days, if you have largely English ancestry it is almost a certainty you are related to someone important in English history if you look back that far.
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I don't doubt that he might, in some way, be related to someone related to Ann Boleyn. It just doesn't matter, because EVERYBODY has at least some tiny smidgen of relation to some "celebrity" in the past....probably multiple different famous people in the past. It's just that it is a 100% chance that you carry .0001% of the genes of that famous person.

Case in point:

http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/gnxp/2010/08/1-in-200-men-direct-descendants-of-genghis-khan/

Sure. That's cool and all, but I didn't get enough of Timujin's martial genius to make joining the army a clever move.
 
CompyRex said:
"near sever incher damn cock"

Hmm, let's see.
ruler.png

Bent_duck.jpg

Guess it is near seven incher!
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I think Chris has centimeters confused for inches.
 
Thetan said:
So, I'm not trying to "up the creepy" here, I just thought you'd like to see an example of some of the texts Chris was sending to Catherine when he had barely known her a month. These were all unsolicited. Chris, as usual, couldn't wait to start with the sexy talk.
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Ok, I am re-reading this, god knows why, and I don't think people are TRULY understanding what is happening here.

Chris is not just trying to clean out his butt with a washcloth. He tried to shove the washcloth up there with the dildo part of his strap on. That means he wrapped a washcloth (hope to god it was wet, for Chris's sake) around a dildo the size of a well-endowed man, and tried to force it up his rectum dry... multiple times. So first, water should never be used instead of lube, water (despite what people may think) makes a terrible lubricant... and second, a washcloth ON the dildo? Like not just on his finger... but on the dildo as he put it in. What the fuck...

And another thing I'm noticing as I re-read it... wtf does Chris think is going to happen during this 'tribbing'? He is tucking his dick and balls INSIDE his body, what does he think it's going to do for him? With the covering he has, he is going to get no stimulation what-so-ever.

I get that Chris doesn't understand anything biologically (see: navy recycling) but seriously? What the fuck is his logic behind all of this? And why was he cleaning his butthole with a washcloth attached to a dildo when he clearly has the proper tools at the house?
 
"It was without a doubt more painful than anything pleasurable to me."

However...

"My impulse conned me into shoving it up there four times in different ways."

What a trooper. An absolute inspiration.
 
Seven Inch Cock said:
I hope he disposes that washcloth. Besides, isn't covering a dildo with a washcloth a bit rough for the rectal area? A washcloth may feel good on the skin but not in the ass.
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Why would he? Barb'll just make him dig it out of the trash so it can be added to the hoard.
 
Seven Inch Cock said:
Eeew! What's Barb going to do with used shit-stained dildos in her hoard? Chris threw away his anal beads after it got "covered in poo". Oh god... No no no! I'm visualizing a hoard of random objects that was up in Chris's asshole! I really hope no one has evidence that Barb kept the broken pieces of the first Sonichu medallion in her hoard since Bluespike convinced Chris to shove the broken pieces up his ass.
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The hoard has evidence of all things. I just pray it never becomes sentient.
 
Seven Inch Cock said:
Nah. Sentience is what Barb and Chris are losing.
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No, we have achieved the worst case scenario.

Charb has assimilated into the hoard. Their minds have bled into everything, allowing it to become sentient as they lose sapience.

And I thought the shit going on with Alad V over in Warframe basically doing exactly this was bad...
 
Optimus Prime said:
No, we have achieved the worst case scenario.

Charb has assimilated into the hoard. Their minds have bled into everything, allowing it to become sentient as they lose sapience.

And I thought the shit going on with Alad V over in Warframe basically doing exactly this was bad...
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Did you just post the Origin story of the Garbage monster?

Back on topic, is the tip of the pestulant boil on the info dump to come, or are you doing like a Film trailer giving us the gold an the rest is just filler?
 
4Macie said:
And another thing I'm noticing as I re-read it... wtf does Chris think is going to happen during this 'tribbing'? He is tucking his dick and balls INSIDE his body, what does he think it's going to do for him? With the covering he has, he is going to get no stimulation what-so-ever.

I get that Chris doesn't understand anything biologically (see: navy recycling) but seriously? What the fuck is his logic behind all of this? And why was he cleaning his butthole with a washcloth attached to a dildo when he clearly has the proper tools at the house?
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He has already admitted to "diddling" his un-clit. I don't understand it either, but he has clearly shifted his sexual attention away from his penis and towards his soul-vagina. Obviously there is no physical sensation you get from rubbing your taint, but for Chris this is something he's really looking forward to doing with another lesbian. Two things that might be related: 1. He's always had a low sex drive, masturbating only twice a week, if that; and 2. He's said to Catherine and previous heart-sweets (Kacey, at least) that mass debating doesn't really do much for him because it doesn't involve another person. Maybe what he really wants is the emotional and physical attention of another person. It seems like the symbolic weight of participating in a lesbian sex act is more important than sexual pleasure. I also surmise that the nausea he feels about his duck is now so profound that it overrides his urge to have an orgasm. Given that Chris doesn't understand love, sex, gender, intimacy, relationships, or other human beings, nothing seems too far-fetched.

As to your second point, I think it might be a matter of chronology: he bought the enemas after the failed experiment with the washcloth. We need dates for all this leaked material.
 
Optimus Prime said:
No, we have achieved the worst case scenario.

Charb has assimilated into the hoard. Their minds have bled into everything, allowing it to become sentient as they lose sapience.

And I thought the shit going on with Alad V over in Warframe basically doing exactly this was bad...
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Are we approaching the stage where they are literally an amorphous blob hovering in low orbit?
 
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