🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

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Man let me tell you, it warms my frozen heart to see this thread getting replies and more people understanding exactly what's so hilarious about Jon Sweet. :)

For content, I have been debating about whether or not to reach out to other people on forums other than the USA Patriot boards where Sweetness has been spotted, to see if they got any hilarious stories or posts to share. I don't want to ween (lolcows are like wildlife: best observed and not touched) but at the same time there may be some humorous anecdotes out there that we know nothing about that could shed some more light on this guy's brain patterns.

I'm currently studying for finals right now, so I haven't had an extraordinary amount of time to write the article but I have to say, it's coming along nicely, and I thank everyone here for both dredging up new content and for keeping Sweetness alive in your hearts for 2015. While I don't think my article is going to be as exhaustive and comprehensive as Vades (I don't really want to spoil it but trust me on this one, it's incredible and @Jaimas has busted his ass on it like you wouldn't believe) I feel like it serves just as informative a purpose, since I don't really think ED should be a primary source for any cow just because of how often it seems to crash into a mountain.
 
Jon Sweet said:
He'd be, nearly forgotten... a total joke and a drain on already-strained-to-breaking social programs. That is what I mean by saying sometimes, death is better.

You mean sit around and scream and gibber and hate everything? Well, at least this guy has admitted they're a bunch of stupid apes over there. That's a start.
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Make sure you get a daily serving of irony in your diet.

So I'm reading the latest posts at the CWCiki forums,
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Because ...?

and it's obvious these people are severely out of touch with reality. Sure, I'm to believe if someone they loved were being attacked, they'd go all Batman on them, and shame on me for not doing the same for my mother 22 years ago.
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People have died defending their families from attackers. Jon was (and seems to continue to be) a coward.

"Duhh! Hims is hate himses mommy! Himses mommy is hates hims! I's hates hims and himses mommy! Hate! Hate! Blah blah blah durr hatehatehatehate!!"
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So one poster mentions that s/he hates you - and for good reason, abandoning your mother to a beating - and suddenly it's hatehatehatehate!? And when did anyone mention us hating your mother? Nah, you're just reaching now.
 
He Sets Me On Fire said:
Nah, you're just reaching now.
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He's been reaching since half past 1997 :alog:

As an aside, Mr. Sweet is pretty much the only person I have ever seen that transcribes their mocking tone into the strawman they then try to beat up. I've heard that tone in speeches on a semi-regular basis, but I've never seen it in posts, and even then, I've never seen such a strong transcription either, since his strawmen utterly fail to really misrepresent the person he hates, and really only makes him look even more pathetic.

I also just had a thought, you think he's one of the few people that regularly promotes stuff like Walkmans and FAX machines? I can so easily see him getting pissed at things like file transferring sites and smart phones for very arbitrary reasons. I can also see him crying about how FAX machines are too expensive and he gets pissy that he can't use the college FAX machine or something. Actually, I would be quite interested to see what other things he is against due to his quasi-amish nature when it comes to technology.
 
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His preference for old technology seems to be tied to his parochialism, his desire to construct a small environment of familiar things and ignore the world outside.

He complains that energy-efficient bulbs produce "next to no heat", ignorant or dismissive of the fact that old-style light bulbs wasted 60% of the energy they received a heat. It's far cheaper in the long run to buy an efficient light bulb and a cheap electric heater. Sweet Bro seems to prefer a wasteful method he knows rather than expend a small amount of effort to find a better alternative.

There's a metaphor in there, somewhere...
 
He Sets Me On Fire said:
So one poster mentions that s/he hates you - and for good reason, abandoning your mother to a beating - and suddenly it's hatehatehatehate!? And when did anyone mention us hating your mother? Nah, you're just reaching now.
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Well to be fair I do hate him for that one event, just because I have a very high standard for families I suppose. I certainly don't hate her though...in lieu of actual evidence about his family life that isn't warped and distorted like we're watching in a funhouse mirror, I choose to believe she's a good person with a shitty son.

Adamska said:
I also just had a thought, you think he's one of the few people that regularly promotes stuff like Walkmans and FAX machines? I can so easily see him getting pissed at things like file transferring sites and smart phones for very arbitrary reasons. I can also see him crying about how FAX machines are too expensive and he gets pissy that he can't use the college FAX machine or something. Actually, I would be quite interested to see what other things he is against due to his quasi-amish nature when it comes to technology.
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One of the (many) reasons he wants to go back to ASU is because he wants access to the computer lab so he can use a CD-RW drive for some undoubtedly nefarious purpose.

I jest of course but that was seriously a legitimate reason in his head to go back there, his Eye of Judgement cards, if you will.

A lot of his more colorful opinions seem to be influenced by his living situation, and from all that I've read it's not very good, because he's poor and so is his mother, with his brother in "rehab" for the foreseeable future... I presume his mom isn't very capable of working, and his idea of employment is picking up cans off the side of the road, which he claimed was more than he's ever made at a job, so he's not exactly swimming in cash like he thinks he should be (deserves to be!). I presume a big part of his opinions and theories also comes from personality defects and character flaws, rather than any true mental illness. He's probably actually quite neurotypical, just with stupid theories about the world that resist enlightenment in favor of ignorance that makes him feel better, that it's not all his fault and that one day things will be different and he'll somehow magically regain what he believes he ever had. The problem, of course, is you can't get time back. *sigh*
 
He's going to be on his deathbed one day, rationalizing the decades of precious heartbeats he wasted on his lunatic fixation on an invented past and vast conspiracy theories he fell back on to avoid ever looking inward.
That would be really sad if he wasn't such a racist turd and wasn't as unjustifiably arrogant as he is. But since he is who he is and treats others the way he does, it's actually just pretty funny.
 
24isthehighestnumber said:
He's going to be on his deathbed one day, rationalizing the decades of precious heartbeats he wasted on his lunatic fixation on an invented past and vast conspiracy theories he fell back on to avoid ever looking inward.
That would be really sad if he wasn't such a racist turd and wasn't as unjustifiably arrogant as he is. But since he is who he is and treats others the way he does, it's actually just pretty funny.
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Thats the crux of why we're here, right? I really, honestly believe he's >thisclose< to understanding what the fuck the problem is, even if he does understand it about two decades too late... I mean he's almost 40, what a damn tragedy, to just stagnate. Spinning your wheels for two decades sounds like hell, honestly.

And then I come back to the real world, and here in reality (watch as Sweetness accuses me of distorting reality again) we understand that he won't, because we're all trolls and naysayers, heretics in his world, that refuse to acknowledge the supremacy of whatever the hell he believes today.
 
Adamska said:
As an aside, Mr. Sweet is pretty much the only person I have ever seen that transcribes their mocking tone into the strawman they then try to beat up. I've heard that tone in speeches on a semi-regular basis, but I've never seen it in posts, and even then, I've never seen such a strong transcription either, since his strawmen utterly fail to really misrepresent the person he hates, and really only makes him look even more pathetic.
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With the "Hims is" and "I's"? Yeah, even the posters here who speak English as a foreign language hold it together quite well for the most part. It's possible, I suppose, that the "hims" crap is his misrepresentation of African American Vernacular English, aka "Ebonics," but AAVE doesn't add auxiliary verbs ("Hims is hates") -- it drops verb markers, so you get sentences like "He hate his mother." And cognitively disabled people manage sentences just fine: "What team do you like? I like the Eagles!" -- so I have no idea what effect he's going for, but if he's trying to represent forum posters, it's just one more crushing failure in his life.
 
Known far and wide for his success in the dating world, @The_Iconoclast offers his adoring fandase advice on the laydeez:
Oh, yes, I've thought of another tip--that thing about women going for sensitive men is a huge pile of horseflop. Women want a strong man who takes charge and doesn't blubber or show weakness. Remember, any man who walks away from a weeping woman is looked on as a cad, but a woman who leaves a crying man is hailed as a feminist hero.
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Aside from being bog-standard "why do all those girls keep dating JERKS instead of me?" Nice Guy whining, this is also probably residual butthurt from the time he boo-hoo'ed to Ashleigh about his dad dying - which, by his own confession, was a bid for pity sex - and she bailed on him. So much for his resolution to let go of old grudges, I was so sure he was going to keep to that one!

He also notes that his favorite brand of deodorant is Melaleuca, which I think he said he was trying to convince his stepdad(?) to sell in The Shop. Deodorant seems like a weird thing to try to sell in a repair shop - maybe Chuckles has some kind of insane brand loyalty going on like another lolcow we all know?
 
NobleGreyHorse said:
With the "Hims is" and "I's"? Yeah, even the posters here who speak English as a foreign language hold it together quite well for the most part. It's possible, I suppose, that the "hims" crap is his misrepresentation of African American Vernacular English, aka "Ebonics," but AAVE doesn't add auxiliary verbs ("Hims is hates") -- it drops verb markers, so you get sentences like "He hate his mother." And cognitively disabled people manage sentences just fine: "What team do you like? I like the Eagles!" -- so I have no idea what effect he's going for, but if he's trying to represent forum posters, it's just one more crushing failure in his life.
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Yeah, I was interested in that part as well. On the one hand, Sweet Bro is a bad writer - on the other hand he's a bigot, and bigots tend to be pretty good at making their stereotypes recognisable.

In the end it comes off sounding a little like Gollum.
 
Melaleuca is a multi-level marketing thing like Amway or Shaklee. Mr. Sweet is a "distributor" for them and shills their products on the copyright pages of his publications, etc. Obviously, his mum's boyfriend didn't want him selling that stuff in his hardware store or whatever it was.

I feel bad for Mr. Sweet's mum.

Mr. Sweet writes his brother's dialogue in the same garbled argot that he uses for us and imaginary liberals, so I don't even know what he's trying to represent. It seems more like baby talk than anything. Strawmanglish.
 
NobleGreyHorse said:
It's possible, I suppose, that the "hims" crap is his misrepresentation of African American Vernacular English, aka "Ebonics," but AAVE doesn't add auxiliary verbs ("Hims is hates") -- it drops verb markers, so you get sentences like "He hate his mother."
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This bullshit is straight-up minstrel dialect comedy, shades of Moran and Mack. It's unsurprising that Iconoclast's idea of black people seems wholly mediated by old racist white people in blackface, or that this is his idea of an insult.

Absinthe said:
Yeah, I was interested in that part as well. On the one hand, Sweet Bro is a bad writer - on the other hand he's a bigot, and bigots tend to be pretty good at making their stereotypes recognisable.

In the end it comes off sounding a little like Gollum.
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Aw, I'd suggest that his stereotype would be perfectly recognizable if only it weren't like a century past its freshness date.
 
Sorry if I'm late, but here's a pic of him I had not seen yet:

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Looks like he could be in his 50s, easily.

Why doesn't he post here anymore? Did he get banned?
 
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Mr Sweet said:
The Christmas light display was great...the evening marred only by a small mishap at Santa's Village. See, I misjudged the height of the entryway when entering and bumped my head on the top of the door frame...which wouldn't have been so bad if not for one of the buttons in my cap. The needle went straight through the button-backing, putting a nasty cut on top of my scalp. It bled a lot and caused some embarrassment, but thankfully it wasn't serious.
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Source: http://usaspatriot.proboards.com/thread/530/interview-author?page=46
 
Adamska said:
the old incandescent light bulb is somehow better than the far more efficient and cost effective LED bulbs
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Incandescent bulbs are better in light quality (for now), with a CRI (color rendering index) of 100, and have an advantage in initial cost, and they also have applications where the use of LEDs and CFLs aren't possible (like some appliance bulbs).

However, LEDs have the advantage in longevity (if built well - I've had an LED bulb start to go bad on me in about 2-3 years or so), far less energy consumption, and operating costs in the long run (again, if built well).

But, even if the CRI and functionality of LEDs are improved, I doubt Iconoclast would like them. I also wonder if he calls CFLs (those "twisty bulbs") "Obama Bulbs"? I know some conservative people who call them that.

Also, I'm curious - does Iconoclast prefer CRT over LCD?
 
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Absinthe said:
If only that were the bottom of the rabbit-hole.

Search "Ashleigh Bainks" in quotes, and the only results are Sweet-related. Most notably, this - which looks very much like it was posted by Sweets under a pseudonym:

http://m.topix.com/forum/city/killeen-tx/TNFAB10J3HKLR6JLM

It's a rambling mess. The girl gave one name, then several, and maybe lied about her father's job...?

I'm calling it: the girl never existed. Contrast how nebulous this all is with the other targets of Sweet's obsessions - newspaper guy and shop guy. He FB stalks them, names them, makes wanted posters of them.

This girl just doesn't add up.
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I think she existed, and was as a fellow ASU student. Knowing he was a campus weirdo, she probably trolled him with phone sex (think Julie), and, maybe on a dare, eventually met up with him in person. After she'd had enough she broke off contact, but Iconoclast, oblivious as to what had happened, continued to stalk her, demanding she treat him like the True and Honest heartsweet he thought he was to her. (And this is one reason you don't dox yourself when trolling, especially mentally unstable people.)
 
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autism420 said:
Sorry if I'm late, but here's a pic of him I had not seen yet:

Ic1.jpg


Looks like he could be in his 50s, easily.

Why doesn't he post here anymore? Did he get banned?
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I don't care if I have seen this pic before... it still makes me want to vomit. No one should ever grow their beard like that - even if just IMHO, too.
 
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