Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[Iceland Heavy]

So Disney brought back Jizz? Hilarious. I find it somewhat funny how Disney fans gave old fans smack for liking stuff from the old EU (video games, comics, books, RPGs, etc) back when Disney decanonized it, yet Disney has pretty much gone around and recanonized all the things people like HelloGreedo and even EU fans hated (the Ewoks cartoon/movies, I Jedi, shit from Jedi Prince, the Holiday Special and even the infamous Skippy...)

Was I, Jedi really hated that much? I just finished it and it wasn't a great novel by any means, the first person perspective was a bit jarring and Corran Horn comes off as a hilariously stereotypical Mary Sue (author OC self-insert into a story that wasn't his, awesome badass backstory, Corellian super special secret jedi lineage to name a few) but I didn't get the impression that is was hated quite as much as well, the Jedi Academy trilogy that it basically partially retcons.

 

[Creep3r]

Was I, Jedi really hated that much? I just finished it and it wasn't a great novel by any means, the first person perspective was a bit jarring and Corran Horn comes off as a hilariously stereotypical Mary Sue (author OC self-insert into a story that wasn't his, awesome badass backstory, Corellian super special secret jedi lineage to name a few) but I didn't get the impression that is was hated quite as much as well, the Jedi Academy trilogy that it basically partially retcons.

My bad, you're right. I meant Jedi Search. I, Jedi was the one that actually retconned the stupider shit from Jedi Search and the Academy Trilogy.

 

[Iceland Heavy]

My bad, you're right. I meant Jedi Search. I, Jedi was the one that actually retconned the stupider shit from Jedi Search and the Academy Trilogy.

One of my very first forays into the EU was the Jedi Academy trilogy and Young Jedi Knights when I was in elementary school, I didn't think much of them then and they didn't instill in me much desire to continue delving into it. Now that I'm doing a very abridged read-through of it I decided to just skip rereading them in favor of just reading I, Jedi instead. Despite all that Corran Horn still came off as less of a Mary Sue than Rey and Luke managed to be less of a retard dealing with Kyp Durron in similar if not worse circumstances than nuLuke did dealing with Kylo Ren.

 

[Creep3r]

One of my very first forays into the EU was the Jedi Academy trilogy and Young Jedi Knights when I was in elementary school, I didn't think much of them then and they didn't instill in me much desire to continue delving into it. Now that I'm doing a very abridged read-through of it I decided to just skip rereading them in favor of just reading I, Jedi instead. Despite all that Corran Horn still came off as less of a Mary Sue than Rey and Luke managed to be less of an exceptional individual dealing with Kyp Durron in similar if not worse circumstances than nuLuke did dealing with Kylo Ren.

My first material as a kid after the films were the Droids cartoon, the SNES games, the Tales of the Jedi comics and the Jedi Prince novels for kids. The Droids cartoon and Tales of the Jedi has aged very well, especially Tales of the Jedi since it was aimed at a wider audience. But Jedi Prince? Not so much. I mean Jedi Prince is obviously written for kids but that shit is like "so stupid its funny" which gives it a bit of charm, like Plan 9 From Outer Space or Robot Monster. Funny thing is the Disney films and the majority of the Disney EU remind me a lot of Jedi Prince and the Jedi Academy trilogy, but without the "so stupid its funny" element of JP and even come off as worse. For example, the Jedi Prince books had the infamous "space whales" which was part of a corny moral message in the book about the environment and thus resulted in them becoming sort of a joke, however the whales themselves are just the local fauna of some water planet, while under Disney, Rebels introduces literal "space whales" as in "whales that actually fly through space and have hyperdrives up their tentacled asses" and in the end these magic purple space whales help Space Aladdin (after he tamed the space whale king) defeat Grand Admiral Thrawn...

Behold their hyperdrive assholes.

Edit: Okay, so space whales are everywhere under Disney now as ships too...
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Whale-ship

This is a man who needs to be watched closely when he visits the zoo....

Quite possibly. I recall reading somewhere (but take it with a spoon of salt) that Filoni intended the space whales to be space wolves but someone at Lucasfilm told him to dial it back on the wolf shit. So instead there's wolf constellations.

Filoni please... We get it already. You want to ride a wolf...

 

[Iceland Heavy]

My first material as a kid after the films were the Droids cartoon, the SNES games, the Tales of the Jedi comics and the Jedi Prince novels for kids. The Droids cartoon and Tales of the Jedi has aged very well, especially Tales of the Jedi since it was aimed at a wider audience. But Jedi Prince? Not so much. I mean Jedi Prince is obviously written for kids but that shit is like "so stupid its funny" which gives it a bit of charm, like Plan 9 From Outer Space or Robot Monster. Funny thing is the Disney films and the majority of the Disney EU remind me a lot of Jedi Prince and the Jedi Academy trilogy, but without the "so stupid its funny" element of JP and even come off as worse. For example, the Jedi Prince books had the infamous "space whales" which was part of a corny moral message in the book about the environment, however the whales themselves are just the local fauna of some water planet, while under Disney, Rebels introduces literal "space whales" as in "whales that actually fly through space and have hyperdrives up their tentacled asses" and in the end these magic purple space whales help Space Aladdin (after he tamed the space whale king) defeat Grand Admiral Thrawn...


Quite possibly. I recall reading somewhere (but take it with a spoon of salt) that Filoni intended the space whales to be space wolves but someone at Lucasfilm told him to dial it back on the wolf shit. So instead there's wolf constellations.

I only know of Jedi Prince through some pretty niche memes but I'd agree with you there. Meanwhile the kid-oriented material for nu-Wars now consists of the authors' autistic fart and wolf fetishes, seriously I was willing to put up with Filoni's 'creative liberties' in TCW but it became too much in Rebels. At least he also managed to bring back Pellaeon.... only to get him presumably killed by said space whales.

 

[Creep3r]

I only know of Jedi Prince through some pretty niche memes but I'd agree with you there. Meanwhile the kid-oriented material for nu-Wars now consists of the authors' autistic fart and wolf fetishes, seriously I was willing to put up with Filoni's 'creative liberties' in TCW but it became too much in Rebels. At least he also managed to bring back Pellaeon.... only to get him presumably killed by said space whales.

I remember after Thrawn's defeat people kept making up theory videos about his glorious comeback and how he would become a savage wild man on some jungle planet which would lead up to the Thrawn trilogy novels becoming canon, despite that said trilogy can't fit anywhere under new Disney since Chuck Wendig's novels are the replacement for said series, and the most Thrawn can ever amount to again is as a side-antagonist against Ahsoka and Ezra. Most of this seems to come from the more diehard fans (who aren't strictly Disney) but have a such a ridiculous and delusional brand loyalty they'll stick around no matter what even if they were EU fans or OT purists, like the Wookieepedia weirdos (there's actually people who have been editing on there since 2005 if you can believe it) and gladly take anything up the ass as long as it has SW written on it. And yeah bringing back a memorable character only to be defeated at the hands tentacles of space whales makes me think he was better off not being brought into Disney canon. Just hope Zahn is keeping a close eye on him and making sure no one turns him into a farting demisexual who takes it up the ass from Grand Admiral Sloane.

 

[Iceland Heavy]

I remember after Thrawn's defeat people kept making up theory videos about his glorious comeback and how he would become a savage wild man on some jungle planet which would lead up to the Thrawn trilogy novels becoming canon, despite that said trilogy can't fit anywhere under new Disney since Chuck Wendig's novels are the replacement for said series, and the most Thrawn can ever amount to again is as a side-antagonist against Ahsoka and Ezra. Most of this seems to come from the more diehard fans (who aren't strictly Disney) but have a such a ridiculous and delusional brand loyalty they'll stick around no matter what even if they were EU fans or OT purists, like the Wookieepedia weirdos (there's actually people who have been editing on there since 2005 if you can believe it) and gladly take anything up the ass as long as it has SW written on it. And yeah bringing back a memorable character only to be defeated at the hands tentacles of space whales makes me think he was better off not being brought into Disney canon. Just hope Zahn is keeping a close eye on him and making sure no one turns him into a farting demisexual who takes it up the ass from Grand Admiral Sloane.

I mentioned earlier that Bloodlines established that the New Republic had basically been at peace for decades by the time the sequels so there really is no room for a Thrawn Crisis in between the trilogies, Zahn's entries in nucanon are basically just setting him up to eventually appear on Rebels and get dabbed on by space whales. The only way he's going to be relevant now are in shadow wars in the Unknown Regions that have no real effect on the main story or more clone shenanigans where a second Thrawn ends up leading the Second Order to destroy the New nu-Republic after the great Jedi Master Rey has disappeared. It's either that or playing second fiddle to Sloane.

 

[Kiwi Lime Pie]

Can we talk about the old EU for a while, I need to wash the taste of Woke Wars out

After previously mentioning Splinter of the Mind's Eye, I decided to order a copy of it off Amazon to reread it when time permits and see what aspects my younger self missed when reading it the first time. If it wasn't too fftopic: to do so, I've even be willing to share what I liked or disliked about it here once I finished it.

For example, the Jedi Prince books had the infamous "space whales" which was part of a corny moral message in the book about the environment and thus resulted in them becoming sort of a joke, however the whales themselves are just the local fauna of some water planet, while under Disney, Rebels introduces literal "space whales" as in "whales that actually fly through space and have hyperdrives up their tentacled asses" and in the end these magic purple space whales help Space Aladdin (after he tamed the space whale king) defeat Grand Admiral Thrawn...

Silly me, I thought the purrgils were one of Dave's crazy brainstorms. It wouldn't be too surprising if he based them on these more benign space whales and tweaked them to suit his fancy. Of course, I can't fathom how any living creature can fly through space at lightspeed without oxygen/air to breathe in what should be the vacuum of space and having its molecules go flying in all directions. But we can't have facts and logic get in the way of nuWars fans' precious purrgils, can we?

I remember after Thrawn's defeat people kept making up theory videos about his glorious comeback and how he would become a savage wild man on some jungle planet which would lead up to the Thrawn trilogy novels becoming canon, despite that said trilogy can't fit anywhere under new Disney since Chuck Wendig's novels are the replacement for said series, and the most Thrawn can ever amount to again is as a side-antagonist against Ahsoka and Ezra.

Most of this seems to come from the more diehard fans (who aren't strictly Disney) but have a such a ridiculous and delusional brand loyalty they'll stick around no matter what even if they were EU fans or OT purists, like the Wookieepedia weirdos (there's actually people who have been editing on there since 2005 if you can believe it) and gladly take anything up the ass as long as it has SW written on it. And yeah bringing back a memorable character only to be defeated at the hands tentacles of space whales makes me think he was better off not being brought into Disney canon.

I remember when Rebels season 1 (or was it season 2) ended and there was a targeted Twitter campaign to have Thrawn be included as a character. I forget if the hashtag was #LetThrawnIn, #GetThrawnIn, or what, but the hard lobbying apparently paid off once Thrawn's inclusion was introduced. At the time, I told myself, Be careful what you ask for fans - Disney may use him in ways you don't like.This was initially exhibited by fans not like the way Thrawn's eyes were animated, but that dislike faded fast simply because Thrawn was now recanonized in Rebels.

Not knowing much about the EU, what little I read about Thrawn gave me the impression he was quite the badass antagonist character. To see him have such a campy, anticlimactic death in Rebels seems like an insult to his character for those that liked the EU version. Why squander such an interesting, powerful character in such a fashion?

Worse yet was seeing Disney nuWars fans gushing over Thrawn's (apparent?) death scene like it was the greatest scene in franchise history. I agree with @GeneralFriendliness so much so that I'm convinced Disney could claim a new Star Wars show was being released and still get rave revues even if the show turned out to be nothing but 20-30 continuous minutes of a test pattern with the SW logo superimposed.

 

[Iceland Heavy]

Not knowing much about the EU, what little I read about Thrawn gave me the impression he was quite the badass antagonist character. To see him have such a campy, anticlimactic death in Rebels seems like an insult to his character for those that liked the EU version. Why squander such an interesting, powerful character in such a fashion?

Like a lot of things in nucanon, it's because the constraints imposed by the new trilogy restrict what you can actually do to begin with. But then you have the people tasked with making the most of what you can with it actively fucking things up even worse.

Filoni sounds more and more like a hack faux fan with every stupid piece of trivia I hear about his waifu saving space anus.

That being said Filoni still does come off to me as a 'true fan' of the 'will consume anything Star Wars-related' variety that's been placed in a position where his unbridled autism has a lot of influence. A hack faux fan being in charge of things is when you get the turds Rian Johnson and Chuck Wendig have shat out.

 

[Creep3r]

After previously mentioning Splinter of the Mind's Eye, I decided to order a copy of it off Amazon to reread it when time permits and see what aspects my younger self missed when reading it the first time. If it wasn't too fftopic: to do so, I've even be willing to share what I liked or disliked about it here once I finished it.

Please do. I re-read it recently and its okay. The only thing is there's some Luke x Leia fluff that never amounts to anything but its one of those things that one expects because this was before ESB but it still comes off as odd. I will give the book some credit in that it expands on the galaxy quite a bit, and Luke's monologue at the start is probably my favorite part of the book, but in the ends it an okay story that's no different than I remember. However I've been told that reading it before watching ESB is more appealing, but that's impossible to do in this day and age. One thing that does make me do a double take in the book is that Luke can apparently swim yet Leia cannot, despite that he grew up on a sand ball.

Silly me, I thought the purrgils were one of Dave's crazy brainstorms. It wouldn't be too surprising if he based them on these more benign space whales and tweaked them to suit his fancy. Of course, I can't fathom how any living creature can fly through space at lightspeed without oxygen/air to breathe in what should be the vacuum of space and having its molecules go flying in all directions. But we can't have facts and logic get in the way of nuWars fans' precious purrgils, can we?

I think the purrgils are entirely Dave's own creation since the whales in the Jedi Prince series are just regular whales who live on a water planet rather than fly through space, and there were more space whales in the new Disney Marvel comics. And like I said, there was a chance they were originally gonna be space wolves somehow. However I have to slightly defend the choice of having a creature that can survive in the vacuum, since in Empire Strikes Back we saw the existence of the Exogorth (the space slug) and Mynoks who can survive in the Vacuum subsisting only on minerals of the asteroid field of Hoth and energy. The "getting around at lightspeed" was entirely Dave's idea though, and according to him, the Purrgills were the origin of hyperspace technology because ancient aliens were inspired by them apparently.

Worse yet was seeing Disney nuWars fans gushing over Thrawn's (apparent?) death scene like it was the greatest scene in franchise history. I agree with @GeneralFriendliness so much so that I'm convinced Disney could claim a new Star Wars show was being released and still get rave revues even if the show turned out to be nothing but 20-30 continuous minutes of a test pattern with the SW logo superimposed.

They'll gush over anything really. Even new-Skippy doesn't make them bat an eye despite how much they hated old-Skippy (who unlike new-Skippy wasn't even canon). The Disney brand seems to have this kind of weird influence on people these days.

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

Filoni please... We get it already. You want to ride a wolf...

Dunno about the riding part, but there would be a lot of mounting going on.

 

[Creep3r]

Dunno about the riding part, but there would be a lot of mounting going on.

I initially joked about it, but the more I look into Filoni's activity and ideas, I start getting some creepy deviantART wolfaboo vibes. I really hope it's nothing and it's all just coincidentally weird, but damn... all those fucking wolves...

 

[Elwood P. Dowd]

It took over 30 years for the old EU to get the amount of media it has now, yet in less than 4 years Disney has produced more content than Lucasfilm did in its first 16 years.

My sense is nobody knew there was such pent up demand for SW content post-RotJ through the publication of Heir of the Empire in 1991. The success of that first Thrawn book shocked everyone, and basically kickstarted the whole old EU/now Legends. Unfortunately you can't sort that chart by publication date, but it sure looks like there's not much content from 1984 to 1991. And even after that it looks like it took them a year or two to turn the whole thing into a cottage industry.

And on the comic book front, given how poorly by historical standards current day comics sell across the board I'd bet the Legends stuff blows the current EU out of the water on a units sold basis. Admittedly this is a gut feeling; I'm way too lazy to try and fart through Comichron looking.

 

[Zaryiu]

Sonew rumor is Hux will get kidnapped by two new characters (one of them being Lando's daughter) and get interrogate by the unknown new character and he betrays the First Order (not difficult to see him turning against Kylo)

 

[Zbk3VmLfujjzjxBd43tL]

Sonew rumor is Hux will get kidnapped by two new characters (one of them being Lando's daughter) and get interrogate by the unknown new character and he betrays the First Order (not difficult to see him turning against Kylo)

Hard to imagine the guy who gave the blatantly Hitlerian speech in TFA join the Resistance. Maybe this Hux is the joke Hux in TLJ instead and not the Tarkin-wannabe in TFA?

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

Hard to imagine the guy who gave the blatantly Hitlerian speech in TFA join the Resistance. Maybe this Hux is the joke Hux in TLJ instead and not the Tarkin-wannabe in TFA?

"Geez, it's called a character arc, don't you know anything?"
This is what SW-drones will actually believe.

I'm going to shit myself laughing if Hux gets the redemption arc and turns into one of the good guys after ratting out the FO. Cause, y'know, there's this tiny issue with him blowing up several billion, if not trillions, of people in TFA.

 

[Zbk3VmLfujjzjxBd43tL]

"Geez, it's called a character arc, don't you know anything?"
This is what SW-drones will actually believe.

I'm going to shit myself laughing if Hux gets the redemption arc and turns into one of the good guys after ratting out the FO. Cause, y'know, there's this tiny issue with him blowing up several billion, if not trillions, of people in TFA.

What treatment did Hux get in the Disney EU? Is there anything to support that theory, or even explain why the TLJ Hux is like a parody of the TFA Hux? Because I'm sure they'd try and point to how it was all foreshadowed, if only people would bother to read the EU. Just like every other moment in the ST people call plotholes or stupid.

 

[Elwood P. Dowd]

Sonew rumor is Hux will get kidnapped by two new characters (one of them being Lando's daughter) and get interrogate by the unknown new character and he betrays the First Order (not difficult to see him turning against Kylo)

Armitage Hux was the one who literally pushed the six planet genocide button in TFA. Why on earth should he get anything except a Nuremberg necktie?

Beyond that, I'm a tad skeptical of this for the simple reason that this is also pretty much the plot of the otherwise tedious and confusing Phasma novel. The one where Phasma barely appears in the text except as part of a story within a story. In that one the Mary Sue protag is captured tortured (but not really, because she a WAMEN) and not only escapes she "flips" her captor Cardinal and brings him back to the Resistance.

 

[Stab You in the Back]

Armitage Hux was the one who literally pushed the six planet genocide button in TFA. Why on earth should he get anything except a Nuremberg necktie?

Look at it from the ignorant perspective of the Resistance: Hux is a monster, but still merely human. Meanwhile, Kylo Ren is a Sith Lord who worships at the alter of his dead granddaddy. If your Resistance is in tatters and you needed to turn someone from the First Order to help you overthrow it, you would obviously choose the guy who can't blow out your anus with a flick of the wrist.

That said, the reality of the situation is that Kylo is a big softie and Hux is the true believer. Rey should know this because she was mind melded with Kylo for weeks(?), but Rey is only as smart as the people who write her, so I wouldn't hold my breath on her figuring shit out until after Hux's inevitable betrayal.

 

[Antipathy]

Hard to imagine the guy who gave the blatantly Hitlerian speech in TFA join the Resistance. Maybe this Hux is the joke Hux in TLJ instead and not the Tarkin-wannabe in TFA?

It wasn't even a good Hitler-esque speech. Say what you want about Hitler, he could actually rile up a crowd.

Hux can't.

But just imagine if Disney actually, you know, studied the Nazis to make better Space Nazis.