UN Venezuela Megathread - Mercenaries 2 references galore! Cubanodun is MVP

With the news of an attempted army uprising ending in many arrests happening in the troubled nation, I think now is the time to just say 'Post all Venezuela related news here'

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-latin-america-40843494

The civil war is upon us.

 

[CWCissey]

Does Maduro the moron want a war with Colombia? If he went to war with them, he would get buttfucked really really hard. Colombia fought against drugs cartels and rebels groups for decades so they have military experience. It would only end in failure for them.

Especially if the Colombians authorise the veteran FARC members to do their thing in Venezuela. It would be hilarious, but brutal.

 

[RodgerDodger]

nice falseflag. Now he can chimp out about the CIA for a few more months before he has to address the economic crisis again.

He’s mostly steering clear of CIA accusations for this one. I think even he knows how stupid that would sound. If the CIA wanted to drone strike his ass, everyone would know it.

Yeah, the CIA wouldn't be this blatant. They'd get him in a much more remote location if they wanted to. Or just poison him and/or give him cancer.

If the CIA wanted him dead they’d drop a Predator on his ass as a warning to others. It’s not like Trump gives a crap about anyone that would be outraged by Maduro turning to a fine red mist. And Maduro has no friends anywhere at this point. Even the new folks in Cuba view him as more trouble than he is worth. Heck Trump could undermine Maduro’s last line of international support and solve the Cuba problem in a day, just by agreeing to ship US LNG the 90 Miles to Cuba at a reasonable price. The best way to defeat enemies is to make them your customers.

Does Maduro the moron want a war with Colombia? If he went to war with them, he would get buttfucked really really hard. Colombia fought against drugs cartels and rebels groups for decades so they have military experience. It would only end in failure for them.

Actually yes, yes he does. It is the traditional arc of the incompetant dictator as their grip on power weakens. Start a border war to focus national attention behind them. Saddam attacking Iran, then Kuwait. Khadafy attacking Chad. The Falklands War. Milosevic’s predations. Etc. a war with Columbia would keep Maduro in power, regardless of the costs in lives or treasure. It’s dictator 101.

The problem with Maduro attacking Columbia or picking a fight there is Columbia has long standing defense pacts with the US. Trump would not be prone to get dragged into a messy Latin American conflict, and would likely choose to solve the problem swiftly and directly, then negotiate with whoever comes next.

 

[Cubanodun]

Does Maduro the moron want a war with Colombia? If he went to war with them, he would get buttfucked really really hard. Colombia fought against drugs cartels and rebels groups for decades so they have military experience. It would only end in failure for them.

Yes, he need something, ANYTHING to try to distract people if he get a full all out war he believe he is going to die like a martyr for the cause, Chavez always tried to provoke Colombia by putting tanks and AA in the borders but Colombians never took the bait and with good measure, is has been proved time and time again that if someone tried to invade us it will only take the time they take from the border to Caracas to destroy us

He’s mostly steering clear of CIA accusations for this one. I think even he knows how stupid that would sound. If the CIA wanted to drone strike his ass, everyone would know it.

Wrong, he has downgraded that stupidity because the sanctions for some reason are hurting him badly, he now says "some elements that planned this thing from Miami" then he backtracked to accuse Santos because he know he is going to be ignored

If the CIA wanted him dead they’d drop a Predator on his ass as a warning to others. It’s not like Trump gives a crap about anyone that would be outraged by Maduro turning to a fine red mist. And Maduro has no friends anywhere at this point. Even the new folks in Cuba view him as more trouble than he is worth. Heck Trump could undermine Maduro’s last line of international support and solve the Cuba problem in a day, just by agreeing to ship US LNG the 90 Miles to Cuba at a reasonable price. The best way to defeat enemies is to make them your customers.

Pretty much, Maduro is not Chavez and practically anyone that associate with us get fucked in the ass badly, all his allies are being jailed or impeached, and he has to do some really desperate measures to try to show that someone actually cares about him, he was bragging some months ago about how Iran was our new best friend, India was helping us until Maduro wanted to forcethem to accept Petros as payment, India told him to fuck off

 

[ICametoLurk]

Stumbled upon this but even if you are a Leftie there is no reason to support Maduro
http://archive.is/gYFKY

Basically a Leftist dealing with a Communist and that there is no reason to support Maduro.

 

[Forever Train Engineer]

Welp this looks like a good time to establish a good ol' anti-communist military junta

"Woo! Bumper cars!"

 

[millais]

Stumbled upon this but even if you are a Leftie there is no reason to support Maduro
http://archive.is/gYFKY

Basically a Leftist dealing with a Communist and that there is no reason to support Maduro.

Leave it to tankies to like chinese cartoons.

 

[CWCissey]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-latin-america-45237368

Ecuador is telling Venezuelans to get fucked.

 

[CWCissey]

Sorry for double posting, but Brazil are sending troops to the border.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-latin-america-45242786

FIIIIIIIIIIGHT!

 

[Cubanodun]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-latin-america-45237368

Ecuador is telling Venezuelans to get fucked.

And fucking finally, Peru and other countries have to deal with the fact that they are letting the scum of this shithole to enter without any trouble and now have to deal with rampant crime, at least they should ask for criminal records

Sorry for double posting, but Brazil are sending troops to the border.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-latin-america-45242786

FIIIIIIIIIIGHT!

Its because apparently some our "best" were doing stupid shit i hope they put a bullet on their heads and save us the trouble

In more BIG NEWS, Maduro decide to fuck with everything by pegging our worthless currency to our worthless crypto, using that excuse he ramped the minimum wage to a super awesome 3500% (it was 5 millions of old now is fucking 180 millions) the thing was so fucking retarded that everyone screamed in terror because every time there is a raise the prices got sky high, his "plan" consist in the state taking the hit for the industries by paying them the difference, that sounds all right? hell no, you want to pay your employees? fuck you, kiss the ring first they we are going to see, the opposition called a national strike but considering how fucking stupid they are and their record of ruining everything i expect they are only going to do it for a day or so before going back to the status quo

Also his new brilliant idea was controlling the price of things.... again... using the crypto as a "base", every single day he is going more autistic, the rage for the gasoline was "delayed" for "technical difficulties" i expect this to be delayed too probably in two days because he is a big coward

 

[Ahriman]

So Reuters LATAM has recently put a photo album on Facebook where they showcase the prices of basic food and items, next to their value in cash, to perfectly illustrate the point of how fucked up things are in Venezuela.

A chicken = $14,6 million Bolivares.

1kg (2.20lbs) of pasta = $2,5 million Bolivares.

A bar of soap = $3,5 million Bolivares.

1kg (2.20lbs) of cheese = 7,5 million Bolivares.

A bag of rice (looks like 1kg) = 2,5 million Bolivares.

Corn flour (looks like 1kg) = $2,5 million Bolivares.

1kg (2.20lbs) of carrots = $3 million Bolivares.

A pack of 7 baby diapers = $8 million Bolivares.

1kg (2.20lbs) of beef = 9,5 million Bolivares.

A pack of maxi pads = $3,5 million Bolivares.

500g (1.1lbs) of margarine = $3,5 million Bolivares.

1 roll of toilet paper = $2,6 million Bolivares.

1Kg (2.20lbs) of tomatoes = $5 million Bolivares.

The stacks of cash next to the item really puts things in perspective.

EDIT: not sure why some images are not loading up, here is the entire Imgur gallery anyways.

https://imgur.com/a/qu2bDPa

 

[TowinKarz]

It's not all bad, at least the toilet paper is still the cheapest item. [/cringing]

 

[CWCissey]

It's not all bad, at least the toilet paper is still the cheapest item. [/cringing]

May as well wipe your arse with the Bolivars.

 

[Nobunaga]

It's not all bad, at least the toilet paper is still the cheapest item. [/cringing]

Well atleast you could buy your own palace for 200 dollars and some food

 

[mindlessobserver]

I am not an economist, but it seems to me the value of the paper for those Bolivar has to be worth more then a packet of spaghetti.

Also, grand Colombia when? At this point if the Colombians took the bait and invaded they may actually be able to pull off an annexation and get that sweet sweet oil. Especially if they give zero fucks and put all the commies on a one way helicopter trip to the Caribbean.

Jokes aside, South America needs to deal with this shit. I get the feeling Brazil in particular secretly hopes the USA will swoop in and deal with it so the problem goes away and they get to virtue signal about evil imperialist Yankees. Well, that's not going to happen. It's far past time Venezuela was dealt with, but the US won't do shit unless Brazil and Colombia agree to put their troops over the border first.

 

[Sperglord Dante]

So Reuters LATAM has recently put a photo album on Facebook where they showcase the prices of basic food and items, next to their value in cash, to perfectly illustrate the point of how fucked up things are in Venezuela.

A chicken = $14,6 million Bolivares.

1kg (2.20lbs) of pasta = $2,5 million Bolivares.

A bar of soap = $3,5 million Bolivares.

1kg (2.20lbs) of cheese = 7,5 million Bolivares.

A bag of rice (looks like 1kg) = 2,5 million Bolivares.

Corn flour (looks like 1kg) = $2,5 million Bolivares.

1kg (2.20lbs) of carrots = $3 million Bolivares.

A pack of 7 baby diapers = $8 million Bolivares.

1kg (2.20lbs) of beef = 9,5 million Bolivares.

A pack of maxi pads = $3,5 million Bolivares.

500g (1.1lbs) of margarine = $3,5 million Bolivares.

1 roll of toilet paper = $2,6 million Bolivares.

1Kg (2.20lbs) of tomatoes = $5 million Bolivares.

The stacks of cash next to the item really puts things in perspective.

EDIT: not sure why some images are not loading up, here is the entire Imgur gallery anyways.

https://imgur.com/a/qu2bDPa

The saddest thing about this pictures is that they're probably outdated.

Inflation isn't linear but exponential, so if this pictures are more than a couple of days old the stacks necessary to buy their matching item have gone higher.

 

[Capsaicin Addict]

So Reuters LATAM has recently put a photo album on Facebook where they showcase the prices of basic food and items, next to their value in cash, to perfectly illustrate the point of how fucked up things are in Venezuela.

(images snipped -- Cappy)

https://imgur.com/a/qu2bDPa

God, I wish I had access to the Horrifying tag. This is how shit starts to really go downhill. It's Weimar Republic all over again.

 

[Maxliam]

The sad thing is there are idiots in America who want this system because it'll be different when they try it. So are there some hot Venezuelan girls (Karla Spice hot) willing to be mail order brides yet or is it not soviet union collapse time yet for Venezuela?

 

[Cubanodun]

So Reuters LATAM has recently put a photo album on Facebook where they showcase the prices of basic food and items, next to their value in cash, to perfectly illustrate the point of how fucked up things are in Venezuela.

A chicken = $14,6 million Bolivares.

1kg (2.20lbs) of pasta = $2,5 million Bolivares.

A bar of soap = $3,5 million Bolivares.

1kg (2.20lbs) of cheese = 7,5 million Bolivares.

A bag of rice (looks like 1kg) = 2,5 million Bolivares.

Corn flour (looks like 1kg) = $2,5 million Bolivares.

1kg (2.20lbs) of carrots = $3 million Bolivares.

A pack of 7 baby diapers = $8 million Bolivares.

1kg (2.20lbs) of beef = 9,5 million Bolivares.

A pack of maxi pads = $3,5 million Bolivares.

500g (1.1lbs) of margarine = $3,5 million Bolivares.

1 roll of toilet paper = $2,6 million Bolivares.

1Kg (2.20lbs) of tomatoes = $5 million Bolivares.

The stacks of cash next to the item really puts things in perspective.

EDIT: not sure why some images are not loading up, here is the entire Imgur gallery anyways.

https://imgur.com/a/qu2bDPa

And those are the prices DEFINED BY THE STATE, no one is going to sell you anything at those ridiculous low prices that Maduro wants

It's not all bad, at least the toilet paper is still the cheapest item. [/cringing]

IF you find any that is

 

[kcbbq]

And those are the prices DEFINED BY THE STATE, no one is going to sell you anything at those ridiculous low prices that Maduro wants



IF you find any that is

Just be happy that everyone is a multimillionaire.

 

[Cubanodun]

Just be happy that everyone is a multimillionaire.

millions of nothing is still nothing