🐮 Lolcow Timothy "TJ" Church / Cowlick - Failed Literotica Writer &/or Null's Best Friend

  • 🏰 The Fediverse is up. If you know, you know.
  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account
Kitlen said:
...

You will have a willing female to participate if you do.
Click to expand...
Zeorus said:
I volunteer for narrator! I have dramatic bass-baritone voice ;w;
Click to expand...
I would do it in the same style that Tiberis Rising was done, the participants would each get a part to read, I think there's currently 9, but I'd put you guys on the list.
Hopefully I'll get permission from Saney.

Surtur said:
I would moderate that.
Click to expand...
I'd like to nominate @Judge Holden as one of the CWCki champions.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
KingofManga420 said:
I already left a note on his profile I bit ago about the idea.

If we want to be a bit more formal then let's brain storm. He responds to me pretty often, but if anyone else wants to do it then I guess go for it.
Click to expand...
it would be advantageous to start a conversation outside of this forum where he is less likely to ignore it. maybe leaving a transparent, honest comment on his blog (/email but I dont know the address) that also compliments him/his writing and empathizes with his illnesses. seems like someone posted earlier that he is more responsive to those kind of comments, and he might be more open. I don't want to condone any outright trolling though.
 
RequiredName said:
The bigger problem is that Mr. Church would need someone to write the start of his story.
Click to expand...

If he realy has a problem with starting a story, the contest could be about finishing a story fragment. Just take some short story from a famous author - maybe something from Jay or the first chapter of "Tiberius Rising", delete large parts of it, and have all contestants write their own ending in any way it'd please them.

That way TJ can write in the only way he seems to be comfortable with, while also being unable to just recycle some old material.
 
cityofcaterpillar said:
aside from the likelihood of tj's writing being painfully obvious to recognize, he also will probably try to choose the subjects himself so he could be lazy and use an older essay he already wrote or plagiarize someone else.
I'm sure a solution could be devised to prevent this. but judging from his past negotiations with LE, reasoning with him will be a monumental task, not to mention making sure he follows the rules if &/or when an agreement is reached.
Click to expand...
he seems to get really defensive about being called out on rule breaking, and he would probably make sock puppets during the voting process which null would be able to verify via IP and basically what I'm saying is this plan has the potential to get very, very entertaining. I think we should say if he doesn't show up to work on this then we win by default.
 
cityofcaterpillar said:
alternatively, he may not even agree to take part because there's no way any of us could possibly reach his level of writing and therefore it'd be a waste of time for him.
Click to expand...

Well, "the carrot" is, the TJ Church thread gets removed... Hopefully that's a big enough incentive for him. I don't know what the stick is... The thread itself?

cityofcaterpillar said:
I think someone should draft a very formal &/or verbose proposition that would get his attention (outside of this thread) instead of 30 people at once trying to pressure him.
Click to expand...

That sounds good. And I'm guessing we'll get better results if we try to involve him in the rules-making process. Let's come at him with an open-ended proposal (as opposed to a take it or leave it proposition), and ask for his input and suggestions in the rules-making process.
 
I'm dumb enough. I'll write it. I'll write anything, even if you guys want something gross and stupid.
 
I have read some creepypasta in my little-girl voice. I can make his "erotica" creepier than it already is. Just find me one of his more messed up stories.
 
Mr. Church has posted unusually early tonight. Could anyone decipher this message? I think it has something to do with translating the Emigre Manuscript or something:
TJChurch as rippitydoo said:
...Oh; Did you mean Ellery?! How is that possible when it is a repeatedly-proven fact she posts facts, but rarely (as though by mistake), & surrounding them with/using them to support her stated opinions, which she incorrectly states as though they are facts &/or as though they are her opinions, even though they are constantly self-contradictory?!
Click to expand...
Source.

In case anybody is wondering, it is incredibly easy to track TJChurch's activity online. His blog and other writings are linked to in the topic post, and knowing when he posts on Literotica is as simple as visiting his profile page there, or popping the URL into URLreload. He would claim this is obsessive, but it's as easy as setting it and forgetting it. Just like following someone on Twitter.

TJChurch as rippitydoo on government said:
Government may be in fact out of control in size & value.

But when it comes to ineffective use & kicking the crap out of people, let's find the right person for the job & tell them to start with you.
Click to expand...
Source.
 
Last edited:
Why is he such a fucking dick to random people? I get why he'd be mad at the mods who are constantly banning him, but he seems vitriolic toward any passerby who happens to catch his eye.
 
MrsFrizzle said:
Why is he such a fucking dick to random people? I get why he'd be mad at the mods who are constantly banning him, but he seems vitriolic toward any passerby who happens to catch his eye.
Click to expand...
Actually, Mr. Church has shown himself to be quite forgiving of forum moderators for their philistine ignorance of his overt superiority.
TJChurch said:
Connecting to you as I now see you active on the (fake) Forums for the (wannabe) site that calls itself "CHYOA".
People keep denying my threads on "CHYOO", telling me to submit them on the new site. I repeatedly respond by telling them I would if I could. However, due to no actually-existent honest reasons, the staff of the "new" site & Forums have seen fit to ban me from the Forums, & allow me to Login in the site, but not submit, rate, or even edit my own (approved) threads I submitted & got approved months ago.
Perhaps use your account on the site to mention some of this to staff &/or other members, & work on correcting these miscarriages of justice!!
Click to expand...
Source.
Their moderator even mentions our "mob" "stalking" him in an amusing bit of sly, grain-of-salt encouragement (basically doing exactly the same amount of research we did in the process, funnily enough), so perhaps their curious will pop in sometime to circumvent our half-assed Google searches.
 
Last edited:
A Random said:
I'm dumb enough. I'll write it. I'll write anything, even if you guys want something gross and stupid.
Click to expand...

I'll write anything ESPECIALLY if it's gross and dirty. Nothing dries up the creative juices like a bland story.

MrsFrizzle said:
Why is he such a fucking dick to random people? I get why he'd be mad at the mods who are constantly banning him, but he seems vitriolic toward any passerby who happens to catch his eye.
Click to expand...

Wounded animals tend to lash out at anything close to them. He's plagued by medical troubles, unemployed, not terribly bright, and shunned by active communities. As far as animal instinct goes, when you're trapped in a corner and already bleeding out, the only thing left to do it try to tear at whatever's attacking you. He's mean because he's hurt.
Normal people override that instinct, because we're a pack animal and willing to accept help from others.
But, Church is intelligent enough to ignore his animal instinct. It's a very human flaw. He's afraid, and maybe in more pain than a normal person should be, but he's juuuuuuust bright enough to tell everyone around him off and act like he's okay.

TJ. Seriously. If you read this. You've stumbled on a community of misfits, outcasts, and mish moshes. None of us have that much in common with each other. I really bet this is the most diverse corner of the internet. But we're all really civil towards each other, maybe in part because we've seen what happens when that falls apart. I can't speak for anyone but myself, but I'm fairly certain we'll welcome you with open arms if you acknowledge your flaws and act like a decent person when you're here.

We're not your enemies. Not unless you demand we are.
 
Taily Puff said:
We're not your enemies. Not unless you demand we are.
Click to expand...
This. This is the reason why some members who used to have that nifty little baby blue banner you strut don't anymore, TJ. They rose above the label. Believe it or not this really is a community where almost anyone can feel welcome if they wanted to, the only thing is that some don't want to, or don't think they can, but that, much like our pro tips, is BS. A while back you made an allusion to somebody peeing in our popcorn, and the thing is, ham-handed as the comeback was, a lot of us are here because somebody peed in our popcorn in one way or another. From what we can gather, people have peed in your popcorn quite a few times, but if you can put that all behind you, I think you'll be pleased to find that this is a place where that yellow tint on each kernel really is that weird stuff at movie theaters that they call butter but they have to put it in quotes.
xyPpYFb.jpg
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom