🐮 Lolcow Timothy "TJ" Church / Cowlick - Failed Literotica Writer &/or Null's Best Friend

  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account
Considering he tends to repeat himself a lot, he might disappear for another day just to "prove" that the thread won't be deleted if he listens to us and leaves.

Because 24 hours is such a long time. I can't even remember his name, it's been so long since he was last here...
 
I've got one.

TJ, what's the deal with your freaky incest/rape interests?
 
A Random said:
I've got one.

TJ, what's the deal with your freaky incest/rape interests?
Click to expand...
I think that may explain why he seems to be kept away from his relatives.

No one even said that the thread would be deleted if he went away, just that we'd eventually run out of things to say about him and the thread would be forgotten.

I wonder why he doesn't make a YouTube video about his conflict with us to get people on his side. That might work. :ween:
 
Tetsu Deinonychus said:
I think that may explain why he seems to be kept away from his relatives.

No one even said that the thread would be deleted if he went away, just that we'd eventually run out of things to say about him and the thread would be forgotten.

I wonder why he doesn't make a YouTube video about his conflict with us to get people on his side. That might work. :ween:
Click to expand...
If he made a video he would scare most of us away.
 
ToroidalBoat said:
Maybe he thinks he can sue for libel?

I'm not a lawyer, but a thread is a collection of separate posts by different people, so even if a person committed it, it would be that person who would be liable. Also, assuming CWCkiforums is based in the USA, they're protected by a little thing called "freedom of speech."
(there's some limits to it like obscenity or copyright infringement, but trying to get a thread taken down only because people are saying stuff about you that you don't like isn't going to work out in court.)
Click to expand...

He will likely lose. As far as I can tell, there have been no false statements of fact about him that could be construed as libel. I'm not a lawyer, tho. Either way, if he sends a C&D letter with a bunch of vague threats but no specifics, it's probably full of shit.
 
SteelPlatedHeart said:
Considering he tends to repeat himself a lot, he might disappear for another day just to "prove" that the thread won't be deleted if he listens to us and leaves.
Click to expand...
Funny thing is I don't think we ever said the thread would be deleted if he left, just forgotten forever in the dark place I call "Page 5+ of Lolcow", but he totally misinterpreted what we said so his brain could be like "yeah bro, there's totally a way we can nuke this thread."
 
@Cowlick Just a few questions for you buddy. I'd appreciate honest answers.

1. Have you ever had an IQ test?
2. Were you hit in the mouth with a brick or other blunt instrument when you were younger?
3. Why didn't your parents love you enough to take you to the dentist or orthodontist?
4. Are you still a virgin?
5. Were your parents related BEFORE they got married, like first cousins or brother and sister?
6. Did your mother use drugs while pregnant with you? Like huffing paint thinner or drinking Sterno?
7. Did your parents have any children who survived?
8. Who would you vote for in the next Presidential election?
9. Should mentally deficient people and people on welfare or disability be allowed to vote?
10. Did you know that paint chips are NOT actually candy?
 
Since this thread is going down for sure, I'm setting up a new forum that's exclusively for TJChurch threads. It'll be on a safe server in an undisclosed location and protected even from EMP blasts. It's going to have extremely high bandwidth, a backup power source(solar), and a satellite uplink as yet another backup. Even if the world ends, it'll be the only website left. I already have the hardware, but I'm still working on the code, so it's not quite up yet. I only hope this thread stays around long enough for me to get it up and running.

I'm putting up the link in case this site goes down. DO NOT click it yet. The code is incomplete, and accessing it at this early stage will cause a severe server crash. As in wiping of all disks, releasing the magic smoke, etc. I've invested 6 figures into this thing, and I'm not rebuilding that shit from scratch if someone fucks it up.
www.lemonparty.org

I'll let you know when I'm done and it's safe to click. If the CWCki is gone before then, just assume it'll be a week from now. I should have it done by then.
 
StallChaser said:
Since this thread is going down for sure, I'm setting up a new forum that's exclusively for TJChurch threads. It'll be on a safe server in an undisclosed location and protected even from EMP blasts. It's going to have extremely high bandwidth, a backup power source(solar), and a satellite uplink as yet another backup. Even if the world ends, it'll be the only website left. I already have the hardware, but I'm still working on the code, so it's not quite up yet. I only hope this thread stays around long enough for me to get it up and running.

I'm putting up the link in case this site goes down. DO NOT click it yet. The code is incomplete, and accessing it at this early stage will cause a severe server crash. As in wiping of all disks, releasing the magic smoke, etc. I've invested 6 figures into this thing, and I'm not rebuilding that shit from scratch if someone fucks it up.
www.lemonparty.org

I'll let you know when I'm done and it's safe to click. If the CWCki is gone before then, just assume it'll be a week from now. I should have it done by then.
Click to expand...
Oh, no! I hope no one clicks on that too early!

Edit: to/too Derp!
 
Mr. Church.
  1. If you could even be any kind of furry, what kind would you even be?
  2. On the subject of politics, how do you feel about the policies of twenty-fifth president William McKinley, particularly in regards to his Gold Standard Act?
  3. Will I die if I have two small meals early in the day, and then something of a slightly larger supper?
  4. How many kinds of fish can you name?
 
Last edited:
TJ, maybe if you milked this lolcow thing, you could start ebegging and eventually get enough money for a decent dentist? It worked for CWC, but he spent that money on lego instead of his moms teeth.
 
RequiredName said:
Chyoo allowed people to collaborate on Choose Your Own Adventure-styled erotic fiction. One person starts a story, and others can write branching threads which continue the narrative. The owner of the story, or his or her appointed editors, would approve any submitted threads, or else reject them with suggestions for improvement if they're not up to their standards. Participants could also vote on a scale of 1 to 5 (five being best) what they thought of a particular chapter. Then what you could do is create numerous sock puppet accounts to vote down anybody who rejects or votes down your threads or leaves disparaging comments in regards to your feeble grammatical errors, such as the ones I've made here. You can even find every single one of the story creator's own threads and vote each and every single one of them at 1 with your various socks, and it would really hurt your ego to see low average scores everywhere until you lose sleep at night and start drinking again.

Perhaps if Mr. Church would deign to demonstrate some creativity for us, there would be merit for an entire subforum whose congregation could dedicate themselves to the wacky, whimsical ways of collaborative storytelling as witnessed elsewhere on these forums. The only issue is the subject has not been known to start any stories himself; only add to others.

My primary concern is derailing this thread, however. Many people have raised alarming new thought-provoking questions for Mr. Church that I feel certain any fans would consider for the likes of Stephen King, Daniel Handler, J. K. Rowling, and the like.
Click to expand...

The garden-of-forking-threads structure sounds rather involved - certainly, it would be difficult to approximate among other active discussion. Our buddy TJ is a busy fellow when he shows up here; despite that, his responses have been very stereotyped in form and limited in content. It seems like he is more motivated by ritual than by any particular topic of conversation.

That said, he is a unique character about whom we'd like to learn more. Creating a context in which he'd be keen to reveal himself is a nice little writer's challenge. If TJChurch turns out to warrant his own subforum - and imagine his joy at learning he'd become the subject of many threads and not just one! - interactive storytelling might be a fun way to engage.
 
I went down the rabbit hole of reading his blog. If he weren't so consistently an asshole to other people, I'd feel bad for him, because he has serious health problems that must be hard to deal with. But every time I had a little flame of sympathy going, he snuffed it right out with his assholery.
 
Can we talk about the fact that he has Type 1 Diabetes and doesn't believe he does? He still takes his medication for it, which is fortunate because if he doesn't he'll die, but I'm curious as to why he takes his medicine if he swears he doesn't have it, or rather, why he still swears he doesn't have it, all the while taking his medicine for it? Isn't that tantamount to admitting you do have it? Injections are a little extreme for a disease you don't believe you have.
 
Last edited:
HawkerHurricane said:
Can we talk about the fact that he has Type 1 Diabetes and doesn't believe he does? He still takes his medication for it, which is fortunate because if he doesn't he'll die, but I'm curious as to why he takes his medicine if he swears he doesn't have it, or rather, why he still swears he doesn't have it, all the while taking his medicine for it? Isn't that tantamount to admitting you do have it? Injections are a little extreme for a disease you don't believe you have.
Click to expand...

he doesn't believe anything he says. and that's the base of his problems; he doesn't value himself enough to take his own word. if that makes sense.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom