🐮 Lolcow Timothy "TJ" Church / Cowlick - Failed Literotica Writer &/or Null's Best Friend

[Hawker Hurricane]

I just realized that the dashed words are when there's a specific word or two he could use to convey the idea but all he really knows is the simple definition.

 

[Pikonic]

What do you expect from somebody that has probably never actually had sex in his life.

That sounds familiar

Spoiler

Writes erotica
-Is a virgin
Thinks he's a big deal
-Isn't
Brags about how he's better than someone else or others in general
-Isn't

 

[Total Dingus]

Is Pinerun your daddy's new mistress, TJ?

That's what I got from the interaction I read.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

That sounds familiar

Spoiler

View attachment 6417
Writes erotica
-Is a virgin
Thinks he's a big deal
-Isn't
Brags about how he's better than someone else or others in general
-Isn't

Yeah well, as much as I hate to admit it I'd rather read about A-log's enormous six inch foxdick and his formulaic sex scenes than read anything that Churchie wrote.

That's not to say that A-log is a good writer. Far from it but he at least uses things like English, dialogue that doesn't necessarily sound a monologue and actual descriptions. Okay, maybe I'm being a little too generous here but given the choice of having to read erotic fiction I'd choose A-log over Churchie.

Damn I feel dirty after having said that. I think I need a drink.

 

[Have a Pepsi]

Heheh - hey, guys, remember that whole episode from when I signed up? Remember how I appealed to the community instead of cursing them? Remember how the whole thing ended in a few days? You know how I get along with pretty much everyone now and even made a couple friends?

You should look into that situation-handling model, Alfalfa. "The internet is not real life" has more than one meaning, brother.

 

[Idling]

What do you expect from somebody that has probably never actually had sex in his life. There's a reason why I always tell budding writers is to write what you know or at least base it on personal experience.

Write what you know... but...

Then what's our poor Timothy supposed to write about, considering he struggles with the most basic communication.

 

[Night Terror]

Right. Mate. As people have said earlier, this thread was dead and buried until you bumped it. Now look. It's exploded with popularity and you've made yourself a target. But it's alright, you've still got time. Despite the digging, people haven't found much on you. This thread is, relatively speaking, still in its infancy. Look at the big threads, like Nick Bate, or the subforums for Parkourdude91. This is still a relatively minor thread.
You want this thread nuked from orbit. That's fine, but considering how you've been acting, and the fact you haven't provided Null with adequate reasoning, it probably won't be. You dug your own grave, but you can still scrabble out of it and flee.
Stop coming here. Stop antagonising the community. Stop making threats. People only find you interesting because you keep providing content by posting. Whenever you're not here, this thread slows down significantly. If you disappeared for a week or so, you'd probably notice the thread only gained an extra page or two since your last visit. You need to get out while you still can, or mellow out and start respecting the community, who will likely accept you as a member if you stopped shitting on them.
I don't expect you to even read this, but don't say you weren't warned.

 

[RequiredName]

Because the subject will not stoop to answering questions posed to him himself, that leaves it to our simple research to speak for him.

TJ what's your magnum opus in your opinion? Link? Daddy needs to get his rocks off.

Timmy learns the other way to get out is to destroy the person known as lilguy, who has control of the between-dream area.

Walks out of the hospital, & down to the area's tallest tower.

Makes his way to the top, where he confronts lilguy face-to-face.

"I assume you are the one in charge," he says.

"I am," the pathetic-looking lilguy responds.

Timmy says, "Then I am the man here to destroy you."

Lilguy stands up tall, attempting to look unbeatable & strong. "I'd like to see you try," he says.

"Fine," Timmy says. "But first,..."

He holds up a copy of TJChurch's story, which he picked up on the way to the building. He hands it to lilguy, who reads the first two sentences, & stops. "This is just too good," he says. "I submit to the power of you, & the immense power & greatness of what you have shown me."

Story over. With luck, for the sake of everyone involved, also the end of lilguy's thread-writing career.

Source.

Here's this cowboys question: What are your interests?

When I'm not writing erotica I like to watch a screen: Computer, TV, DVD, etc.
When I'm not reading erotica I like to read the latest fictions, or anything I wrote myself previously that hasn't gotten to the publisher yet

Source.

Would you please share with us what it is that makes you so smart? We don't understand.

I’m a 3-time school-spelling-bee Champion who has also been in contact with a few publishing companies spread across the contiguous United States. I’ve also been printed in the newspaper a few times. That said, it’s not ego but honesty that requires me to admit I haven’t taken an actual class at an actual school in over a dozen years.

Source.

Have you ever been diagnosed with any sort of mental health issues? Particularly schizophrenia.

Anyway, put “back to basics”, I’ve had hydrocephalus, & been shunted. (I believed one set of facts for 20 years, but Google & WebMD “pulled a Pluto” on those some half-dozen years ago.) About 3 years ago, I started having seizures. My neuro- guy of the time (I’ve seen a mix of “neurologists” & “neurosurgeons”, & I believe he’s solely the latter) literally sent me to his brother. (They are genetically brothers, I believe literally using the exact-same rooms at varying times in the same office.) I went through a few supposed anti-seizure meds (felt a bit like free samples I used to get at the grocery store), but have been taking the same one regularly for quite some time now, & went most of that with little-to-no seizure-like activity.

Source.

Does TJ stand for Timecube Junior?

Since my “alternative schooling” left me with plenty of open time, I spent a lot of the next few years writing fictional stories. [If you have the time, & feel like it, you can find my online history all over, much of it written under the name “TJChurch”. This was/is my original self-given pseudonym, simply combining my first 2 initials (with one period after the grouping) with my real last name.]

Source.

Are you a believer in Time Cube?

Lastly, I went to Lunch with Dad about 6 weeks ago (think you & Ma were singing at Covenant or something), & told him I am considering sub-titling my autobio, “God’s Guinea Pig”. I’ve narrowed it down to 2 options: Either there’s nobody up there, or there is one, & he just semi-regularly decides to see what/how-much I can survive.

Source.

What kind of job are you looking to get into?

This “Project” is not anything the government need be worried about (like those involving Edward Snowden, who I watched last night on NBC News & read about previously in Rolling Stone), nor is it my autobiography (currently sitting un-updated due to aforementioned computer issues). Even so, it is close to the latter, in that the main character (it is a largely-fictional thing) is a writer (as I’ve long aimed to be), & the “Project” will cover a few of his efforts to write.

Source.

Why do you dislike opinions?

Around the time of this particular game, it hit me that I have a problem with people exercising this right & others like it. I remain a staunch defender of people’s right to their individual opinions (a quote I read from Voltaire in Freshman Year of high school comes to mind offhand); On that day, I recall myself saying that “People don’t exercise that right enough.” (Here, I wish I could repeat the examples I listed that week. While my stances don’t often change, my memory comes-&-goes like soda cans.)

Source.
Sadly, ASoulMan's and KingofManga420's questions regarding Shrek are as of yet unanswered.

Also TJ do you like to smoke a fat one? Lately I'm more of the Jenkem type myself, I find it really helps my creativity.

’ve tried hard to keep my age out of these blogs, but suffice it to say I wasn’t alive in the ’60s. That said, I’ve told people many times I couldn’t have lived back then. That has nothing to do with the drugs, JFK, or any of that; I read in a book a while back that “The Monkees” aired at the same exact time as “Gilligan’s Island”.

Source.
Regrettably, ASoulMan's question on lifting has yet to be answered.

I want you inside of me TJ (ha, my phone changed that to TH omg rofl) Church. And I haven't even read your erotica yet. Tell me you will do audio books?!?!

MSN: rolandsatler[AT]hotmail[DOT]com Source. (At last check, MSN is connected to the Skype network.)
Unfortunately, more information is needed to answer Foulmouth's query regarding where TJChurch learned debating skills. Ziltoid's question about TJChurch's idiosyncratic written communication has perhaps been answered in a previous post.

2) Are you an advocate of Creationism or Evolution?
3) What are your thoughts on global climate change?
4) Do you plan on writing for the porn industry?
5) What is your favorite sport/pastime?
6) Have you saved money on car insurance by switching to Geico?

4, and perhaps 5:

Interests:
Monkees, Lakers, & words that are fun to say
Favorite Wrestling Promotion:
Smackdown
Favorite Wrestler(s)?:
Bourne, Cena, Mysterio, Punk, Sabin,
Favorite Sports Team(s):
Lakers, Braves
Favorite Athlete(s)?:
Chipper Jones, Ben Roethlisberger
Favorite Musician(s)?:
Monkees & Aerosmith

Source.
It would be easier and "more accurate" for Mr. Church to answer all questions about himself by himself, but despite our fanaticism and appreciation of his writing, it seems we are left to speculate in this manner.

 

[Hawker Hurricane]

TJ Church broke 1,000 Negative Ratings

I'll link this in commemoration of TJ's Diabeetus.

 

[Null]

Truly the dumbest person on the forum.

 

[Hawker Hurricane]

There are some who call me... Tim?
I can summon/conjure/invoke fire/flame(s) without need of flint &/or tinder.

 

[Danger]

Truly the dumbest person on the forum.

He should be here any minute to tell you that can't be proven

 

[The Joker]

Truly the dumbest person on the forum.

The only thing going for him is that he has a better concept of the English language than Tyce.

 

[Tetsu Deinonychus]

Because the subject will not stoop to answering questions posed to him himself, that leaves it to our simple research to speak for him.

Source.

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Sadly, ASoulMan's and KingofManga420's questions regarding Shrek are as of yet unanswered.
Source.
Regrettably, ASoulMan's question on lifting has yet to be answered.
MSN: rolandsatler[AT]hotmail[DOT]com Source. (At last check, MSN is connected to the Skype network.)
Unfortunately, more information is needed to answer Foulmouth's query regarding where TJChurch learned debating skills. Ziltoid's question about TJChurch's idiosyncratic written communication has perhaps been answered in a previous post.

4, and perhaps 5:Source.
It would be easier and "more accurate" for Mr. Church to answer all questions about himself by himself, but despite our fanaticism and appreciation of his writing, it seems we are left to speculate in this manner.

Really, the only question I want answered from him is how he intends to shut down our thread. But, sadly I don't think even Churchy-boy himself has any sort of answer to that one.

 

[Hawker Hurricane]

Spoiler: THE WALL'S BEEN BREACHED!

 

[A Random]

Do one with the Assface!

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Really, the only question I want answered from him is how he intends to shut down our thread.

Maybe he thinks he can sue for libel?

I'm not a lawyer, but a thread is a collection of separate posts by different people, so even if a person committed it, it would be that person who would be liable. Also, assuming CWCkiforums is based in the USA, they're protected by a little thing called "freedom of speech."

Spoiler

(there's some limits to it like obscenity or copyright infringement, but trying to get a thread taken down only because people are saying stuff about you that you don't like isn't going to work out in court.)

 

[Danger]

He would have to prove we have intent to ruin him. Discussing his internet anticts isn't quite libel. Especially since he's in here posting with us.

 

[Hawker Hurricane]

Do one with the Assface!

I'm totally drawing a blank on what to do for that...

 

[A Random]

It could be the same thing, only it's an assface attacking the humans.