Funny stories about your period

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Solzhenitsyn said:
Luckiest lady in the world here--my periods are a breeze to deal with. I get cramps on the first day and then nothing. Not a heavy flow either. If I become moody or anything I haven't noticed.
It's all the more bizarre because my mother and my sister have extremely heavy periods that cause them immense pain. My sister in particular has to take serious drugs to reduce pain and bleeding or else she literally can't function. They've both been put onto the new IUDs which help some but I still feel so guilty.
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I'm one of those ladies too. I hardly ever get cramps and when I do they're very mild, only lasting the first day. Oddly, I find wearing tampons sometimes seems to increase my cramps. When I hear about the women like your mum and sisters and feel pretty lucky, but not at all unsympathetic.
 
Once when I was in the military the guys started pestering me about what the women talked about in our barracks. Now we mostly got along by completely ignoring each other. 99% of the time our interactions consisted of watching a movie together. Apparently the guys gossiped. A fucking lot.

So they were pestering and pestering me and I finally answered “The last conversation that had more than two or three people in it was when we were all bitching about our periods...” and got cut off there as all the guys begged me to stop.
 
neverendingmidi said:
Once when I was in the military the guys started pestering me about what the women talked about in our barracks. Now we mostly got along by completely ignoring each other. 99% of the time our interactions consisted of watching a movie together. Apparently the guys gossiped. A fucking lot.

So they were pestering and pestering me and I finally answered “The last conversation that had more than two or three people in it was when we were all bitching about our periods...” and got cut off there as all the guys begged me to stop.
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isn't that cute! the neighborhood boys letting you play soldiers with them!

too bad you'll never join the REAL army!
 
meh, i'll share.

this happened in the year of my first period.

my mom gave me a red towel to use on my period, seeing that i'm new to pads and tampons, leaking mistakes will occur often. so after a shower i used a tampon, sitting on my red towel at my desk, no panties thinking i'm double-y protected from leaks... i sneezed and the tampon flew out and hit the wall under the desk leaving a long red river on the carpet.

my vagina is an evil and haunted place. :evil:
 
If you don't think periods are funny read "are you there god? It's me Margaret", you'll laugh.


There was a mormon girl I knew, half her family was Mormon, half wasn't. She started her period at her aunts house with other female family members, none of them were Mormon. She asked for a pad. The aunt only had tampons, Super absorbency. The neice had never used one because young women's classes at church had made her nervous that tampon usage was a gateway drug to masturbation. Everyone laughed at her, told her it would be fine. She didn't have much choice so she nervously went off to the bathroom to figure out how to put the massive wad of cotton up her snatch without making Jesus angry. The aunt and friends heard a loud thump from the bathroom a few minutes later. She passed out with her pants down because she was so worked up. Mormonism is a helluva drug. After that I understood why Elizabeth smart didn't run, she thought she was ruined.
 
I got my period a few days after my 12th birthday. I wanted it so bad to feel grown up like my friends and then wanted to die once I really got it.

One time in high school my panties were too big and the pad flopped around during gym and I made a red paint splatter all over everything.

My period was late when I first started dating my boyfriend and I thought I could've been pregnant, turns out I stressed us both out and delayed the inevitable and passed off my damn cramps as something else cause I was scared. I'm sure I scared us both apathetic at this point lmao

Luckily I got an IUD and while my periods haven't stopped yet I'm gonna hope they really fucking go away. Period sex depending on the time in your cycle can still be awesome but god damn that smell. Be careful. Hope you have a boy who dgaf about you bleeding from your vagina.

TL;dr: fuck periods
 
I've always thought the commercials telling me to "have a happy little period" we're pretty funny. And by "funny" I mean they leave me shaking my head, mumbling, "A guy had to have come up with this crap..."
 
Neither my mother or sister were at home the week I had my first period, so my dad was the one helping me out.
On one hand, he wasn´t invasive and gave me some tips he caught from my mom over the years, on the other hand, he did leave me alone in the car during my first cramps because we went out to do errands.
I don´t remember being in a bad mood tho, probably because whenever my mother and sis were out we would just survive on candy and snacks.
 
Though this story isn't about myself, it's about the most popular girl in my class when I was in 6th grade at my school. (I'll call her Leah or her parents will find my post and get pissed if I wrote this her real name)

One of her periods started just a couple of weeks after she developed a huuuuge crush on Edward Cullen from Twilight. (I can tell when she was having her period because every day, I'd secretly look in her backpack whenever it was in the hallway and nobody was looking, and pads were in there whenever she was having her period)

Back to the story of that one particular period, Leah acted stranger than normal.
  • During Math class, she fell asleep and I assumed she was daydreaming about Edward, because I'd fall asleep in class whenever I became aroused by some characters I'd end up attracted to.
  • Whenever she went to the bathroom, she'd be in there for very long, let alone twice as long as most of my other female classmates on their periods.
  • When she saw someone in the hallway wearing a Twilight shirt with Edward on it that day, she acted more awkwardly than if she wasn't on her period when she saw the shirt.
  • During Lunch I eavesdropped on her and her friends' table and I heard her "secretly" tell her friends about her daydreams. At that point I realized my assumption was true.
  • During Recess, she wasn't doing much, she was just looking at pictures of Edward on her iPod, and she had a weird expression on her face, seemingly aroused.
One day later, I put on my "fedora ninja" (which was my superhero-esque alter-ego) costume (hence my username), snuck to Leah's house, and I saw her freak the fuck out when her brother saw one of her posters fall down, revealing an Edward poster she had been hiding under it. XD
 
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i remember when i first got my period, i was really afraid and i thought i was dying or something ruptured, and i hid it from my mom for a while until she explained it to me.

The only other stories i got is how my period comes when im not prepared and i suffer, but thats not really funny tbh..
 
I once came on while a guy was down there... he went on to marry a dude.
 
I remembered a story my mom told me about a girl she knew back in high school- for some reason this girl never would shower or bathe when she was on her period. I have no idea why, that sounds like greaseball city to me. Her hair would get really gross looking so she'd wear a bandana to hide it. Thing was, that pattern was pretty predictable. If that girl was wearing that bandana, my mom and her friends knew that girl was on her period and more importantly, that she potentially hadn't showered in a week. The staaaaaank, man!
 
MerriedxReldnahc said:
I remembered a story my mom told me about a girl she knew back in high school- for some reason this girl never would shower or bathe when she was on her period. I have no idea why, that sounds like greaseball city to me. Her hair would get really gross looking so she'd wear a bandana to hide it. Thing was, that pattern was pretty predictable. If that girl was wearing that bandana, my mom and her friends knew that girl was on her period and more importantly, that she potentially hadn't showered in a week. The staaaaaank, man!
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A lot of older people back in the day used to scare girls into thinking you couldn't shower or take baths or swim on your period, because it was unsafe. I hate stupid people.
 
redline said:
A lot of older people back in the day used to scare girls into thinking you couldn't shower or take baths or swim on your period, because it was unsafe. I hate stupid people.
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I used to know a girl who was the exact opposite. She managed to tell me it was OK to go swimming while menstruating without using a tampon because "gravity just keeps it all inside". Needless to say, I never went swimming when she was there.
 
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