The Cole Smithey Thread

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Shiversblood said:
There should be a way for people to have figured out by now that Cole smithy is not real and shouldn’t be allowed to be a critic on rotten tomatoes. He is only doing it to get attention and fame, the fact that he is called a asshole don’t bother him because of the fame, but someone needs to stand up against him and take away his rotten tomatoes access. Having him giving out negative ratings just for the hell of it is destroying the integrity of rotten tomatoes itself.
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Who cares? Rotten Tomatoes is a joke anyway where recent blockbusters with huge marketing budgets get close to perfect scores, just like on IMDB.
 
I really don't get why Cole wants to do this. Why give a movie a bad review just for the sake of giving it a bad review? If you really are serious about this and this is your true passion in life, why not actually review movies like a normal reviewer would? Actually watch, evaluate and analysis the film. Give it praise where it deserves it and criticism where it's needed. That's how you become a well-known and respected critic, not just by being one of the few people to give a film a bad review.

Maybe the :autism: is solely on Barb's side of the family.
 
The Westons are all low-hanging fruit.
Anyway, a bit off-topic and possibly spergy, but can it be interjected that Cole does not live at Carnegie Hall? The last of the tenants in the studio apartments above the Hall were evicted by the Carnegie Corp. in 2008. (Most of the tenants were ancients in their 80s and 90s who'd lived there 50-60 years.)

Cole lives in the Carnegie Towers nearby.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ay60j1S5Io
Carry on bashing.
 
Muscle Bra said:
The review literally gives you no idea what the movie is about, except that it is an extended commercial designed to sell merchandise.

:stress:
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In Cole's defense he covered all the bases. The MCU is all about expanding marketshare and selling merchandise. The creative process is secondary. You pick the costume you like and get the same movie.
 
Datiko said:
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In Cole's defense he covered all the bases. The MCU is all about expanding marketshare and selling merchandise. The creative process is secondary. You pick the costume you like and get the same movie.
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The funny thing is that this observation still doesn't make Cole a good critic in any way. Just about ever member of this website has made the same critique of the MCU. He's still not adding anything unique to the mix.
 
LordofCringe7206 said:
The funny thing is that this observation still doesn't make Cole a good critic in any way. Just about ever member of this website has made the same critique of the MCU. He's still not adding anything unique to the mix.
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Either way, the fact he didn't give it a perfect review because of the mostly black cast and crew like literally every other critic is commendable.
 
TaterBot said:
... can it be interjected that Cole does not live at Carnegie Hall?
...
Cole lives in the Carnegie Towers nearby.
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Like Chris would be able to make that fine a distinction. :left:

At least now we know how Chris's trip to NYC (the one that was encouraged by Idea Guy) was going to play out. Chris was going to fly to NYC, take a taxi to Carnegie Hall, and then stand outside it hoping to see Cole walk by. Bonus points if he asked passersby if they knew Cole Smithey.
 
Muscle Bra said:
Like Chris would be able to make that fine a distinction. :left:

At least now we know how Chris's trip to NYC (the one that was encouraged by Idea Guy) was going to play out. Chris was going to fly to NYC, take a taxi to Carnegie Hall, and then stand outside it hoping to see Cole walk by. Bonus points if he asked passersby if they knew Cole Smithey.
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"Cole Smithey? Da smartest film critic inna world? Whaddya mean ya don't know him?"
 
Muscle Bra said:
Like Chris would be able to make that fine a distinction. :left:

At least now we know how Chris's trip to NYC (the one that was encouraged by Idea Guy) was going to play out. Chris was going to fly to NYC, take a taxi to Carnegie Hall, and then stand outside it hoping to see Cole walk by. Bonus points if he asked passersby if they knew Cole Smithey.
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So really, the Alamo in Pee-Wee's Big Adventure!
 
I know I'm all kinds of :late: but it kills me how similar Cole and Chris really are. Their content consists of ridiculously verbose word vomit being spewed onto an imaginary online audience, they're unemployed but skate through life claiming what they do is a job, consuming media is a huge part of their identities, ignoring trolls/weens is second nature, and they're both autists with horrific fashion sense.

The main difference (other than location on the :autism: spectrum, naturally) is the extent of Barb's influence. Chris is more easily influenced because he's slow, and Barb basically wanted a slave/constant source of affection, so Chris is the favorite by default. If anything I'm shocked how relatively normal Cole is. The narcissism and :autism: started to seep into him but he got out just in time.
 
vanilla_pepsi_head said:
I know I'm all kinds of :late: but it kills me how similar Cole and Chris really are. Their content consists of ridiculously verbose word vomit being spewed onto an imaginary online audience, they're unemployed but skate through life claiming what they do is a job, consuming media is a huge part of their identities, ignoring trolls/weens is second nature, and they're both autists with horrific fashion sense.

The main difference (other than location on the :autism: spectrum, naturally) is the extent of Barb's influence. Chris is more easily influenced because he's slow, and Barb basically wanted a slave/constant source of affection, so Chris is the favorite by default. If anything I'm shocked how relatively normal Cole is. The narcissism and :autism: started to seep into him but he got out just in time.
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Ignoring trolls and weens is second nature to Chris? Are you having a laugh? Chris learned to ignore weens in the same way one might learn how to speed-solve a Rubix cube or something. It took him ages and a ridiculous amount of trial and error.
 
Sega Saturn said:
So would it be a good idea to contact him and tell him all the shit Chris is doing to his stuff?
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A better idea would be to make the winning bid for the chance to buy him craft beers. Then, when he's not looking, slip a quick acting poison into his brew. As he vomits blood uncontrollably, slumps over the table, and makes a few last futile gasps for oxygen, lean over and whisper in his ear, "You should have helped patch your mother's holey buttocks, you son of a bitch"
 
Flowers For Sonichu said:
A better idea would be to make the winning bid for the chance to buy him craft beers. Then, when he's not looking, slip a quick acting poison into his brew. As he vomits blood uncontrollably, slumps over the table, and makes a few last futile gasps for oxygen, lean over and whisper in his ear, "You should have helped patch your mother's holey buttocks, you son of a bitch"
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you're on to something. i bet if more people contributed to cole we'd wear him down and maybe get him in contact with chris thus starting a new saga
 
Xanax said:
Ignoring trolls and weens is second nature to Chris? Are you having a laugh? Chris learned to ignore weens in the same way one might learn how to speed-solve a Rubix cube or something. It took him ages and a ridiculous amount of trial and error.
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I read the post you're quoting to mean that the vacuum that is Chris's self-awareness & intellect insulates him from the ability to discern benevolence from malice? Could be wrong, but that was how I took it.

Slowinthemind said:
I doubt he gives a shit, he was not in any rush to collect his old homework and shitty comics.
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Man, I dunno.. I watched like 5m of one of the selling Cole's shit videos & had to turn it off & threadban myself from CWC for a few days. When Chris busts out the KISS Army file folder & shows you everything... put me in my feels, man.

That folder represents a troubled teenage boy with a fuckshit home life & worthless parents, who obviously found an escape in his music. It was painstakingly created with passion & love & adoration. I feel like of course he would motherfucking rather have that back. It's probably priceless to Cole. It might not be worth it to him to have to deal with those two, but that just makes it worse.

That was bad enough, but to see Chris pimping it out for $20 with reckless fucking abandon & negative fucks given about what that folder really meant... that was too much for me.

Those kinds of things should have been mailed to Cole, without any fucking discussion. Period.

And it's not because Chris is autistic, it's because Chris is an ass hole. And so is Barb.
 
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