Something Awful and Friends - The roller-coaster train-wreck embarrassing downfall of a Web 1.0 giant and its tick offspring like from Cloverfield

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Reddit's format is dreadful, Twitter's arbitrary character limit relegates it to meaningless noiseposting, both of them have problems with inconsistently-applied rules designed to punish anyone from outside The Flock. The chans are a million austists screaming to see who can be the loudest. There's nothing wrong with the flat-thread format, and if you desperately want to have a really fast-moving section for ephemeral conversation then add a chat box.

Lowtax should do away with the $10 and survive on microtransactions like paying to give props or downvote users and posts. Goons would lap that shit up, and if he had like a $20/mo subscription that let you write shit on people's public profiles or something goons would cum in their drawers. I know it's been said a thousand times already so please feel free to :late: me up like a motherfucker but it's mind-boggling how lazy and incompetent Dear Richard really is.

He could start selling loot crates. He could call them "surprise" boxes and they'd be an empty box, and when goons complain he can be all "Aren't you suprised! HYUK HYUK HYUK LMFAO!"

Or he just sell all the random garbage he has laying around, like empty wine bottles and his baby's soiled diapers. Call it AwfulCrate, and charge $50 a month.

Or he can take a cue from Chris and start selling his "relics". I'm sure someone would give him $1000 for his thousand dollar chair. Hell, I'd give him $300 for his AR-15, assuming he hasn't pawned it already.
 
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Lowtax must be pretty pissed that Maddox didn't sue him. He pounded on that hornet nest and not a single one came out to sting him.
 
He could start selling loot crates. He could call them "surprise" boxes and they'd be an empty box, and when goons complain he can be all "Aren't you suprised! HYUK HYUK HYUK LMFAO!"

Or he just sell all the random garbage he has laying around, like empty wine bottles and his baby's soiled diapers. Call it AwfulCrate, and charge $50 a month.

Or he can take a cue from Chris and start selling his "relics". I'm sure someone would give him $1000 for his thousand dollar chair. Hell, I'd give him $300 for his AR-15, assuming he hasn't pawned it already.

I'll give @Lowtax five dollars for the Gladys poster from Steal of the Century.


(I know he still has it because it appears in his Cry of Fear let's play.)
 
Lmfao fatty fat @Lowtax needs a CPAP machine because he's unhealthy and his fat is crushing his windpipe while he sleeps.

Screenshot_20171119-145655.png
 
Maybe Lowtax should get a real job then he'd have insurance to cover his fat person machine.
 
Maybe Lowtax should get a real job then he'd have insurance to cover his fat person machine.
Honestly any option that he could have chosen would have been cheaper than buying a CPAP machine. I dunno about you but if a doctor told me that I wasn't getting enough oxygen to my brain because my windpipe was being crushed while I slept, I'd probably stop sitting at the computer all day playing shitty video games and go for a walk or something. But this is Lowtax we're talking about. He will do ANYTHING to avoid having to do anything.
 
Playing devil's advocate here but perhaps the CPAP isn't needed because he's fat, perhaps its because he's just so weak-willed and lazy that he can't be bothered to expand his lungs fully?
 
Playing devil's advocate here but perhaps the CPAP isn't needed because he's fat, perhaps its because he's just so weak-willed and lazy that he can't be bothered to expand his lungs fully?

Lowtax doesn't seem visibly fat or overweight in any of his recent pictures or videos. He probably just developed sleep apnea or something and needs a CPAP machine to breathe regularly at night.
 
He's probably right that the number of people who directly left as a result of moderation is statistically insignificant, even counting people who opted not to re-register after catching a ban. And he's probably right that the 'real' issue is the level of competition from alternative platforms today as compared to SA's early days. The real problem is how many people would never consider joining SA today because it's not worth the outlay of cash.

Fact of the matter is today's SA just doesn't justify the cost unless you're an institutionalized oldfag, so the question he ought to be asking himself is what he (and the forums) can do to make SA the kind of place that's worth spending $10.00+ to post in. I guarantee shit like his coddling of SJW mods and insane partisan admins isn't helping to find an answer to that question.
 
Lowtax doesn't seem visibly fat or overweight in any of his recent pictures or videos. He probably just developed sleep apnea or something and needs a CPAP machine to breathe regularly at night.

You can see some chubbiness starting to form in his cheeks, neck and upper body in his latest livestream. He's no Boogie (yet), but I think the booze n' pillz lifestyle is finally catching up with him. And it really caught up fast, considering he was relatively slim even as recent as a couple years ago.

Maybe Ashlillilli's got a feeding fetish, or she's fattening him up with poutine so he'll croak and she'll get his insurance money.
 
Bobvids' twitter is hilarious because he's just retweeting people who are saying "yeah fuck cinemasins and anyone who watches it!"
I feel like Bob has manifested into the epitome of that one image of that kid screaming "Stop liking what I don't like!" Does he think he won? He kept trying to further a blue yeti nontroversy (where the other guy ended up sending the person who had the original vid money he made off the video) and keeps trying to either be relevant or get views (His Pokemon GO fest vid was a straight up copycat of Crowbcat's style, after the nontroversy of the blue yeti video) and honestly, I don't know why he keeps trying. Or at least, what it seems to me, attempting and failing. To be honest his editing skills are fucking amazing, but his way of talking and shit? It's straight up condescending, it's always negative, and it sounds like he intends to stir a hornet's nest. Is he mad someone is more popular than him? What is his end goal? Why would he say this shit about a channel that isn't even professional?

To further my old post, where I said that he doesn't understand humor despite using a quote that was saying "You're not supposed to get or understand comedy, it's just funny in ways to different people", I'd like to present someone who would help this Cinemasins case.
Nostalgia_Critic.jpg

If you don't know this guy or his glasses, this is Nostalgia Critic. If you don't know who Nostalgia Critic is I'm gonna assume that you don't know what many things are on the internet. We've gone past Web 2.0, lads! Anyways, I'm sure you know what he does even if you don't watch him just by looking at his name, and if you don't, I'd suggest getting a check up. Nostalgia Critic, or Doug Walker as that's his real name, has a mostly character but also own self person as a critic of things we either grew up with or that people say they grew up with (While he grew up with some old cartoons and movies from the 70s-early 80s, he's done stuff from the 90s, including Pokemon The First Movie which he had no idea about what to say since he never got into the series.) The problem here is that, while he does give valid criticism, some people wont be swayed by what he says, thinks or judges on movies. Want to know one of his most disliked videos that was from before the reboot? Hercules. So why is it not liked?

He said it didn't feel like a real Disney film, and "that it feels like it wasn't at all together." But do people still hate the movie despite him not liking it? This is where I'd post my wall of Hercules items and my soon hopefully please oh god Diamond Collection Bluray if I had a good camera shot of this vault that is my walk in closet of Herc items (I'm not kidding.) Did people not like Doug's opinion? Of course! But people know that sometimes people have this thing called opinions. You can hate something but still understand people like it, and vice versa. Someone who is in power and in charge can say "Baseball is a dumb sport, I hate it." but that doesn't mean you HAVE to dislike it too. Some people who say things that they disagree with shouldn't automatically be on a hitlist.

What I'm trying to say here is, you can have opinions and be extremely popular. Whether you're proclaiming yourself as a critic of nostalgia, or a nerd who is outraged, or a guy named Juan but would rather be called Johnny who loves Sonic and can say "There are bad games in the franchise" and not sperg out in a discussion, you should be able to make content without it being a problem to others if there's no harm or foul. Calling for someone to be raped or killed in a video should be concemned. Saying a movie has too many logos at the beginning of the movie shouldn't be.
 
I'll give @Lowtax five dollars for the Gladys poster from Steal of the Century.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=QC7NrzVX188
(I know he still has it because it appears in his Cry of Fear let's play.)

I liked Steal of a Century better when all you could see were their hands. And I like Fragmaster, I really do, but with that mustache and soul patch he looks like someone who should be driving a candy apple red Camaro and trying to pick up High School chicks who work at Taco Bell.

As if Lowtax has a life insurance policy, because thats what everyone who lives only for today wants to put their money into.
I'm sure chinkwife pressured him in to buying one back when he was successful. Though that would mean if he croaked now that money would go to her and not canuckwife. But at least she'd be free, and a American citizen, and would be able to find another successful Internet businessman to hop on.
 
He's probably right that the number of people who directly left as a result of moderation is statistically insignificant, even counting people who opted not to re-register after catching a ban. And he's probably right that the 'real' issue is the level of competition from alternative platforms today as compared to SA's early days. The real problem is how many people would never consider joining SA today because it's not worth the outlay of cash.

Fact of the matter is today's SA just doesn't justify the cost unless you're an institutionalized oldfag, so the question he ought to be asking himself is what he (and the forums) can do to make SA the kind of place that's worth spending $10.00+ to post in. I guarantee shit like his coddling of SJW mods and insane partisan admins isn't helping to find an answer to that question.

He's partially right about competing platforms, that definitely took a bite out of them. But reputations develop, and less and less people are going to register when the people that do get banned for trivial reasons and they're out $10 talk about it. When you are faced between something like Digg where you can post for free and SA where you spend $10 to be out whenever an admin disagreed with your opinion, it's obvious what would happen.

Lowtax has never, ever cared about being a halfway decent businessperson, and has never viewed himself as such. Instead, he wanted to be the big man that everyone loved (especially his inner circle) and if you didn't like something he said then DONT FUCKING BUY IT DONT FUCKING DRINK IT DONT FUCKING CLICK MY LINKS. He won't adapt because he never does anything wrong, and if he's been doing it, that must be the right way. If you're complaining because you didn't get what you paid for (like complaining about archives not working despite being charged to view them) then they just banned you under some Lowtax's bullshit guise of being a toughguy that don't take no shit.\

It also didn't help that the funniest and most amusing users, especially those funnier than Lowtax, which was many of them, would get banned because "banning users is funny!"
 
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