The Cole Smithey Thread

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Tragi-Chan said:
If Cole was good at his craft, he wouldn't be reduced to e-begging. I won't deny that he's knowledgeable about obscure arty films (I guess - for all I know, he could be making it all up), but he's really bad at making his work appealing to a wider audience.
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Part of it is that most people don't give a fuck about obscure arty films.

Obscure arty film fans are like a lot of wrestling smarks that think people want to watch in-ring work (aka "workrate") and should watch obscure shitty indies, when in reality, most people want to just be entertained
 
PickleMan92 said:
I find it hilarious that someone like Cole, who is so dedicated to his craft of film analysis, is making less Patreon money than Chris, who is so terrible at his craft.
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Coles problem is that he is not unique, there are thousands of film critics on the internet so why is he any different? On the other hand there is only one Sonichu drawing, fanta swigging Chris.
 
Hollywood Hulk Hogan said:
Part of it is that most people don't give a fuck about obscure arty films.

Obscure arty film fans are like a lot of wrestling smarks that think people want to watch in-ring work (aka "workrate") and should watch obscure shitty indies, when in reality, most people want to just be entertained
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I don't get why he doesn't try doing a bit more mainstream stuff. There are plenty of people on YouTube doing intellectual analysis of mainstream films and shows, or doing accessible analysis of more obscure stuff, and doing pretty well at it, because they know how to make it entertaining as well as intelligent. All Cole has to do is compromise a little and put out a few more watchable reviews, and then he can spend the rest of the time blathering about Croatian coming-of-age dramas or beautiful documentaries about Sami reindeer herders or whatever.
 
Tragi-Chan said:
I don't get why he doesn't try doing a bit more mainstream stuff. There are plenty of people on YouTube doing intellectual analysis of mainstream films and shows, or doing accessible analysis of more obscure stuff, and doing pretty well at it, because they know how to make it entertaining as well as intelligent. All Cole has to do is compromise a little and put out a few more watchable reviews, and then he can spend the rest of the time blathering about Croatian coming-of-age dramas or beautiful documentaries about Sami reindeer herders or whatever.
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But then he wouldn't be an insufferable hipster
 
Slowinthemind said:
Coles problem is that he is not unique, there are thousands of film critics on the internet so why is he any different? On the other hand there is only one Sonichu drawing, fanta swigging Chris.
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He's dumb enough to call himself The Smartest Film Critic in the World unironically and delusionally. Even if he is ironic about it, nobody has been able to tell. You should generally give a tipoff if you're being ironic.

It's also terrible because every other single obscure hipster film critic at least secretly considers themselves that. They're just not stupid enough to advertise that fact.

In its own way, Cole's film criticism is Sonichu.
 
Tragi-Chan said:
I don't get why he doesn't try doing a bit more mainstream stuff. There are plenty of people on YouTube doing intellectual analysis of mainstream films and shows, or doing accessible analysis of more obscure stuff, and doing pretty well at it, because they know how to make it entertaining as well as intelligent. All Cole has to do is compromise a little and put out a few more watchable reviews, and then he can spend the rest of the time blathering about Croatian coming-of-age dramas or beautiful documentaries about Sami reindeer herders or whatever.
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Cole isn't anywhere as smart or even film-saavy as you think he is. Try to read his review of Star Wars: The Force Awakens. There's very little actual criticism under a lot of fluff and name dropping. Cole doesn't break down characters, scenes or themes of the movie and explain why they work or not beyond a superficial level, that mostly reflects his own bias as a pretentious, old and out of touch liberal (REEEE pro-war propaganda).

Cole isn't Wisecrack or Red Letter media. He can't do a review that is either moderately deep or entertaining.
 
Sperglord Dante said:
Cole isn't anywhere as smart or even film-saavy as you think he is. Try to read his review of Star Wars: The Force Awakens. There's very little actual criticism under a lot of fluff and name dropping. Cole doesn't break down characters, scenes or themes of the movie and explain why they work or not beyond a superficial level, that mostly reflects his own bias as a pretentious, old and out of touch liberal (REEEE pro-war propaganda).
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He's not completely incompetent. He's not even bad enough to stand out, in the way that Chris does. He just never gets any better (or even any worse) and that's why his thread is nearly dead. Nobody cares about him. Even we only care about him because of his connection with Chris. He is vastly more famous for his tard half-brother than he is for anything he's done himself.

I've probably been meaner about Cole and his hipster douchebaggery than most people in this thread, and even for me, the main thing I hate about him is he's friends with Ted Rall, someone who should probably have his own thread actually.
 
Sperglord Dante said:
Cole isn't anywhere as smart or even film-saavy as you think he is. Try to read his review of Star Wars: The Force Awakens. There's very little actual criticism under a lot of fluff and name dropping. Cole doesn't break down characters, scenes or themes of the movie and explain why they work or not beyond a superficial level, that mostly reflects his own bias as a pretentious, old and out of touch liberal (REEEE pro-war propaganda).

Cole isn't Wisecrack or Red Letter media. He can't do a review that is either moderately deep or entertaining.
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I just had a look at that review, and yeah, it's like he refuses to engage with the film that exists, but rather the film he wants it to be. I found his point about Finn lacking integrity particularly boneheaded, like he'd chosen to interpret this character his way and he was pissed off that the film didn't fit that.
 
AnOminous said:
He just never gets any better (or even any worse) and that's why his thread is nearly dead.
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That's another interesting similarity to CWC, in that CWC's work on Sonichu hasn't improved (or even changed) a bit in all that years that he has been scribbling it out.

We all know that CWC's artistic stagnation is due to a combination of his arrogance and his parents' long-standing tradition of praising to the high heavens every single thing he ever did as sheer perfection. However, since Cole isn't exactly lacking in the arrogance category himself, I have to wonder if Cole also believes that he is at the apex of his craft and, as such, sees no need to change or better himself?

I've probably been meaner about Cole and ... the main thing I hate about him is he's friends with Ted Rall, someone who should probably have his own thread actually.
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All I know about Rall is that he is some kind of political cartoonist and that he has some *very* radical liberal ideas.

Why not start a thread about Rall? I'd love to learn more about the guy...
 
Hollywood Hulk Hogan said:
Part of it is that most people don't give a fuck about obscure arty films.

Obscure arty film fans are like a lot of wrestling smarks that think people want to watch in-ring work (aka "workrate") and should watch obscure shitty indies, when in reality, most people want to just be entertained
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You need both,because you need to be very famous (or have a famous IP) to attract people if you go to dimiss whatever is 'in' in the indie niche.
For example if cena or hogan make a promotion and do this people will see it but of Jimmy Dolores do that no one will care because they have WWE . Also ,Vince russo is a booker of a colorado promotion and he is less famous than CWF and other ring work companies.
The same with cole, tell me a reason to see an Star War VII review if I can watch more famous channel doing that,at least with an old turkish film he will attract retard.
The problem with cole is he fail to attract all the niche ,he isn't bad, only not good enought
 
It sort of goes without saying that Cole is an insufferable hipster douchebag whose only claims to fame are being Chris's half-brother and giving Toy Story 3 a bad review. Other than that, there isn't really much to say about him that hasn't already been said at one point or another.

But I'm curious as to why we still have a thread on him. I mean, he hasn't had any contact with Chris in years and actively goes out of his way to avoid being associated with Chris at all.

I'm not opposed to this thread, just mildly confused by it.
 
Sperglord Dante said:
Cole isn't anywhere as smart or even film-saavy as you think he is. Try to read his review of Star Wars: The Force Awakens. There's very little actual criticism under a lot of fluff and name dropping. Cole doesn't break down characters, scenes or themes of the movie and explain why they work or not beyond a superficial level, that mostly reflects his own bias as a pretentious, old and out of touch liberal (REEEE pro-war propaganda).

Cole isn't Wisecrack or Red Letter media. He can't do a review that is either moderately deep or entertaining.
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Cole is very much like RLM. Known for one shitty idea, who's time has come and gone like a fart in a windstorm. Both are fucking awful people and both struggle to stay relevant despite having shades of autism about them.
 
Sperglord Dante said:
Cole isn't anywhere as smart or even film-saavy as you think he is. Try to read his review of Star Wars: The Force Awakens. There's very little actual criticism under a lot of fluff and name dropping. Cole doesn't break down characters, scenes or themes of the movie and explain why they work or not beyond a superficial level, that mostly reflects his own bias as a pretentious, old and out of touch liberal (REEEE pro-war propaganda).

Cole isn't Wisecrack or Red Letter media. He can't do a review that is either moderately deep or entertaining.
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This The Force Awakens review is gold.
Screenshot_20170907-205310.jpg

Whoever says Cole is a normal, well adjusted member of society is wrong.
 
Sorry to power level here... I took film courses in college and I sent a few of his reviews to one of the professors there. They weren't impressed. They didn't feel his reviews were written at a professional level, and they felt he added unnecessary fluff to seem smarter than he actually was. They'd seen better papers in Intro to Film.
 
anephric said:
Cole is very much like RLM. Known for one shitty idea, who's time has come and gone like a fart in a windstorm. Both are fucking awful people and both struggle to stay relevant despite having shades of autism about them.
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Except one makes almost $20k a month in Patreon and has fans
 
Cole doesnt need this money. He has a wife that owns a bar and makes decent cash. If anything he wants spending money like Chris.

AnOminous said:
He's not completely incompetent. He's not even bad enough to stand out, in the way that Chris does. He just never gets any better (or even any worse) and that's why his thread is nearly dead. Nobody cares about him. Even we only care about him because of his connection with Chris. He is vastly more famous for his tard half-brother than he is for anything he's done himself.

I've probably been meaner about Cole and his hipster douchebaggery than most people in this thread, and even for me, the main thing I hate about him is he's friends with Ted Rall, someone who should probably have his own thread actually.
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Do it. If it makes Ted Rall REEEEE then we may show up on Coles radar.
 
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