🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

[Konstantinos]

"Iconoclast"

Why did he have to pick that handle? Iconoclast is such a cool-sounding word and he has to go shit all over it with his idiocy. I almost find the fact that he ruined a cool Greek word more upsetting than anything else about his man child behavior.

 

[DrChristianTroy]

If I were to, I' fear I'd lose my "magic". All I have to do is get back into shape, buy a hairpiece, and see a doctor about my laryngitis, then I could rent an apartment near campus and pass myself off as a University student tomorrow. Women would approach me freely just as they did back then. All things remaining equal, I could live just as well, if not better, than I was before. I refuse to accept my happiness was just some random anomoly. "Ashleigh"" might not have worked out , sure, (I think her real;relationship with her dad was a little too unhealthy anyway), but who's to say the next girl won't be the one? "Susan" left me because the long-distance thing was too much of a strain on the relationship, though I also believe par of it was because she didn't like being the other woman. And I never liked putting her in that position. But that's what happens with change--stupid new rules get in and wreck everything.

Lets ignore the fact that you don't make enough money to get a wig let alone all the other shit. You'd still be a dude in his late 30's going after chicks much younger than you. You don't even drive. You provide nothing that would interest them. They wouldn't hit on you. Period.

Also are you seriously trying to look at Family Guy for a solid political message? It's a show with a baby that wants to rule the world. Do you really think people take the show that seriously? Good comedy can provide a political statement. Family Guy is awful. Let me guess you think people take current day Simpsons seriously too.

 

[A-Stump]

Try going on campus. You're a creep and will probably be arrested.

 

[Holdek]

....All I have to do is get back into shape, buy a hairpiece, and see a doctor about my laryngitis, then I could rent an apartment near campus....I refuse to accept my happiness was just some random anomoly. "Ashleigh"" might not have worked out , sure, (I think her real;relationship with her dad was a little too unhealthy anyway), but who's to say the next girl won't be the one?...

Sounds like change. You probably shouldn't do any of that, right? I mean, why take the chance?

 

[atomik fyre]

All I have to do is get back into shape, buy a hairpiece, and see a doctor about my laryngitis, then I could rent an apartment near campus and pass myself off as a University student tomorrow. Women would approach me freely just as they did back then. All things remaining equal, I could live just as well, if not better, than I was before.

Well, why aren't you on your way to ANY of this yet? Get back into shape. It will be good for you no matter what! Just doing that alone will work wonders. Also, you should've seen a doctor a long time ago about your laryngitis and have a treatment plan worked out for it. Get healthy, man! Now for some bad news. Forget the hairpiece or even hair treatments, you don't have the cash to get anything convincing. Also, with your credit you'd be lucky enough to find a place to rent in the ghetto, let alone near campus.

I refuse to accept my happiness was just some random anomoly. "Ashleigh"" might not have worked out , sure, (I think her real;relationship with her dad was a little too unhealthy anyway), but who's to say the next girl won't be the one? "Susan" left me because the long-distance thing was too much of a strain on the relationship, though I also believe par of it was because she didn't like being the other woman. And I never liked putting her in that position. But that's what happens with change--stupid new rules get in and wreck everything.

Happiness is not a random anomaly, but holding on to your past and refusing change means that future happiness cannot infiltrate your bubble of stasis. "Ashleigh" was a fake and a fraud. Fake girls don't have unhealthy relationships with their fake dads, can't happen, due to it not being real. "Susan" may've been real, but you never seemed to have met her either. So... you've never dated anyone in real life but you think you've figured out the rules to do so?

 

[Picklechu]

You're even more illogical than Chris, and that's saying something. You are a sad, sad lolcow who really needs some help.

 

[Stuff and Things]

Miserable and wrecked, thanks to the cancer of change. If it gets any worse, I may actually have to take my own bad joke seriously and move down to Mexico. I just hope I don't get shot for taking a leak on a public building. The laws are pretty strict down there. (And yes, I know the Alamo is in Texas, but the principle is the same.)

No, please, no. Mexico has enough problems already, we don't want you here.

 

[The Joker]

Detroit will give you a warm welcome. «insert eye roll and gag here»
You sound like Chris Chan using big boy words get some help before it's too late

 

[Holdek]

Also are you seriously trying to look at Family Guy for a solid political message? It's a show with a baby that wants to rule the world. Do you really think people take the show that seriously?...

Chris does.

 

[Pine Tar]

Come to Kansas City where the grass is smoked and the girls are hippies.

 

[The_Iconoclast]

"Iconoclast". Why did he have to pick that handle?

A reference to one of my favorite Pinky and the Brain shorts, "Puppet Rulers". Back when you could find something decent to watch on TV, before the E/I regulations came along.

@ShadowFox -- Perceptive causes me a little trouble at times, so I see where you're coming from there in the third panel on the second page. I was trying for an angle coming from slightly behind the booth seat. The picture in the A&F store is a "Baby Lance". It's sort of a recurring joke in the series, popping up in random backgrounds. Ben sneezed himself backwards into a cardboard standee of Felatio Calzone and got his head stuck. The Po' Bunny Taxes office makes its first appearance in that panel. It becomes important later--don't worry about it. In the last panel, our hero make the box float with low-grade telekinesis. Um...yeah, that's it.

@Holdek -- I'm willing to accept change if I can control it. Too often I don't get to keep the change I want and discard the rest.

. You provide nothing that would interest them.

I have just as much as any college student. These rich, beautiful townie girls fall all over themselves for those guys, who own nothing, not even the bed they sleep in, and aren't particularly interesting, smart, good-looking, or even that nice for the most part. What is their secret?

[A]re you seriously trying to look at Family Guy for a solid political message? ... Do you really think people take the show that seriously?

I didn't say it was the smart thing to do, but there is an unapologetically political undertone to the show. I recall one episode was about Peter trying to save a park from getting bulldozed. People actually called city hall asking if they were really shutting down the park and plowing it under. I imagine some also think Miley Cyrus really is a robot.

Well, why aren't you on your way to ANY of this yet? Get back into shape. It will be good for you no matter what! Just doing that alone will work wonders. Also, you should've seen a doctor a long time ago about your laryngitis and have a treatment plan worked out for it.

They tell me I need an "insurance card". I don't even know what that means, to be honest. They won't so much as take a look at my throat without one because of fear of a lawsuit. It could be anything from a sour tooth to tonsillitis to not drinking enough water while outdoors a few summers ago.

So... you've never dated anyone in real life but you think you've figured out the rules to do so?

In my day we didn't take girls out on formal dates. If we liked her and she liked us, we slipped off into a broom closet or a bathroom stall somewhere and fooled around. It was the nineties; things were simpler then.

 

[atomik fyre]

They tell me I need an "insurance card". I don't even know what that means, to be honest.

Get a real job, they'll tell you all about it. Hell, they may even give you one!

In my day we didn't take girls out on formal dates. If we liked her and she liked us, we slipped off into a broom closet or a bathroom stall somewhere and fooled around. It was the nineties; things were simpler then.

Hey, @The_Iconoclast , none of this "in my day" bullshit with me. I'm only 2 years younger than you and also dated in the '90s. I know exactly what it was like. You sir, are full of shit.

 

[DrChristianTroy]

1- They have youth. They are working towards a future. They have common interests. You have a family that hates you and a fucked up throat.

2- Nobody dated in the 90's. Gotcha.

3- You watch a shitty show despite disliking it nor being paid to do so.

4- I don't think you know this but there are non-educational shows you can watch. You're an old ass man watch what you want.

Boy you sure got your life together.

 

[Holdek]

@Holdek -- I'm willing to accept change if I can control it....

So what are you doing to achieve the change you want, that you can control?

...These rich, beautiful townie girls fall all over themselves for those guys, who own nothing, not even the bed they sleep in, and aren't particularly interesting, smart, good-looking, or even that nice for the most part. What is their secret?

They are attractive, fun, around their age, and not mentally unstable.

They tell me I need an "insurance card". I don't even know what that means, to be honest.

Go to a free clinic. You don't need an insurance card for that. Or, get an insurance card. You can buy insurance from an insurance company, or apply for Medicaid. All of this is pretty easy to find out about, particularly if you call a state agency, homeless outreach, ask at church, etc. They'll help you. Or instead of arguing with people online, you could try to look it up and understand it yourself.

 

[The I Scream Man]

They why are the punishments so severe? You turn in a bad column, you get fired, kicked out of school, and none of your former coworkers are allowed to talk to you, ever again, in perpetuity. You talk about your feelings with a System girl, she drops out of your life for a month--a week, maybe ten days would be more than sufficient, I think. You make one mistake handling a customer, the boss freaks out and skips town, leaving the business to fall apart. I would consider these behaviors excessive. Yet no one says one bad word about the people who act like this.

These punishments aren't that severe, though. You lack perspective, because you haven't lived enough to understand that these inconveniences are relatively minor in the grand scheme. These would be severe punishments if that school was the last one on Earth (its not).

I won't comment on the girl, because I don't know the full story. Your boss skipping town and leaving the business to fall apart does seem sort of excessive, I guess, but it shouldn't have affected you as deeply as it did. Again, you lack perspective and life experience. In short, you are naive.

I have just as much as any college student. These rich, beautiful townie girls fall all over themselves for those guys, who own nothing, not even the bed they sleep in, and aren't particularly interesting, smart, good-looking, or even that nice for the most part. What is their secret?

I want to hear exactly how you know that they aren't particularly interesting, smart, good-looking, or even nice. I want to hear what justification you have for saying that all of them are like this. I also want you to explain what in particular makes you a better catch than them. Finally, I want you to explain why they're getting laid and having excellent relationships and presumably living life, even when they aren't particularly interesting, smart, good-looking, or even nice.

If you don't answer all of my points, I will have won the debate, and you will have lost.

 

[John Titor]

Since you skipped over me:

I think we found one of the roots of the problem in his art.

You still don't get it, whatever problems I have with your art has nothing to do with your opinions. How many times do I have to mention that?

Here are some of the reasons your comic is ass: Composition.

You can't just slap colors and speech bubbles onto a page because you feel like it; are you going to tell me the link up there is another ploy by the New Obama Order?

Are you, for once in your life, going to concede you made a mistake or are you going to continue to insist it's liberals trying to pull you down again?


This one remains unaddressed too:

Since someone mentioned Bush, I wonder what Icon's opinion of him is because theoretically, his life under Bush's administration should be better. Theoretically.

 

[The_Iconoclast]

I'm not responding to the New Obama Order thing because it's just idiotic. I will say that if all comics looked the same with "perfect" composition, it would be boring. The eccentric speech bubbles are part of what lends my work its charm. And stick-figure bodies are no different than black clothes against dark backgrounds; I just have to use sharper contrast to get them to stand out. They do wear clothes if the plot calls for it, e.g. disguise work.

I felt far more secure and happy under Reagan and both Bushes. I notice I lose out a lot more with Democrats in power. I weathered one Clinton term all right, but literally his first act of his new term was to sign the TV ratings bill into law, and that was the beginning of the end for me. I can never forgive him for that.

 

[Major Josef Ecker]

Icky's comic is better than all those c****y, blocky, low-resolution comics with their "useful speech bubbles" and "good composition." They just don't have the same hand-drawn charm.

 

[DrChristianTroy]

I felt far more secure and happy under Reagan and both Bushes. I notice I lose out a lot more with Democrats in power. I weathered one Clinton term all right, but literally his first act of his new term was to sign the TV ratings bill into law, and that was the beginning of the end for me. I can never forgive him for that.

And this effected you how?

 

[The_Iconoclast]

Uh... hello?