💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Tiresome]

Dear god, give me strength to choke out my own son

View attachment 8956123

God actually obliges, annihilates Jack down to a little stub with a lightning bolt and then replaces him with an entirely different human being named Jack Scalfani. That's literally the only way even the Creator can manage this.

 

[Hateocracy]

Without veering off topic, what are some distinctly Appalachian foods?

Leather britches, kilt (wilt) greens, bleached apples, toughed fruit (apples), soup beans and chow chow, sawmill gravy, dandelion jelly, bread heels fried in bacon grease, and a Native American acorn-ash cake whose name currently escapes me (sorry Gramma).

But fr leather britches are awesome. They take on this almost smokey, kind of beef-y flavor after about 2-3 months on the string. Would even be an easy video for Jack to do, it's very low effort....does require two hands though.

 

[Tiresome]

But fr leather britches are awesome. They take on this almost smokey, kind of beef-y flavor after about 2-3 months on the string. Would even be an easy video for Jack to do, it's very low effort....does require two hands though.

He would hate them just because they're vegetables. The wendigo would also rage that it's got the name of animal skin yet isn't.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

I want to tell everyone a story. Earlier today I was in Walmart. A morbidly obese couple were in the soda aisle bitching and whining. They were complaining near a case of 12 packs about how they wanted to try a flavor of Mountain Dew they never had before but they didn't know if they would like it or not. They kept going on and on about how there should be a way to try it out first without having to buy it.

Would you believe that the first thought in my head was "This is something Jack Scalfani would say and do?"

When the biggest issue in your life is whether or not you'll like this flavor of Mt. Dew you know you have issues.

Was there no 2L bottle available? What about at the local 7-11 or Circle-K? But even then how much extreme HFCS water does anybody really need to drink?

And yes this sounds exactly like what Fatty would do so good call.

I think he's talking about his fellow fat lolcow Donald Trump

Of course he is. Problem is none of what he wrote was actually true.

Mountain Dew isn't available where I live. Is it only sold as 12-packs, or are these people so ontologically fat that they can't perceive or conceptualize human-sized portions?

Typically sold in packs of 24. And yes that is way too much for an average person to drink in a month meanwhile you know these people probably drink it in a week.

The concept of "human-sized portions" doesn't exist in some parts of this country.

Dear god, give me strength to choke out my own son

View attachment 8956123

He says this after being a complete asshole to people online.

 

[Tiresome]

Typically sold in packs of 24. And yes that is way too much for an average person to drink in a month meanwhile you know these people probably drink it in a week.

Let's not forget CWC, who was always a lardo if not quite to the extent of a deathfat, was recorded to have downed almost 2 liters worth of Coca-Cola every day for two and a half years, and that's only one brand of pop. fanta

 

[Spasticus Autisticus]

Jack is angy about reaction videos. And no it definitely doesn't have anything to do with people making reaction videos of him! He just hates them in the abstract. Total coincidence that Chef James Makinson happened to release another reaction video to Jack a couple of days ago:

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Let's not forget CWC, who was always a lardo if not quite to the extent of a deathfat, was recorded to have downed almost 2 liters worth of Coca-Cola every day for two and a half years, and that's only one brand of pop. fanta

As I said, "average", Neither Chris-chan or Fatty Scalfatty are anywhere near "average".

https://youtube.com/watch?v=D1SB--IiS2E
Jack is angy about reaction videos. And no it definitely doesn't have anything to do with people making reaction videos of him! He just hates them in the abstract. Total coincidence that Chef James Makinson happened to release another reaction video to Jack a couple of days ago:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=y2pAJC0RGf0

I'll be the first to admit that 99% of reaction videos out there are pure garbage. But some, like the professional chefs reacting to Fatty, are gold because you KNOW he's watching them and seething impotently at them.

 

[Tiresome]

As I said, "average", Neither Chris-chan or Fatty Scalfatty are anywhere near "average".


I'll be the first to admit that 99% of reaction videos out there are pure garbage. But some, like the professional chefs reacting to Fatty, are gold because you KNOW he's watching them and seething impotently at them.

The best thing is, Jack has a lot more respect for these supposed "professionals" than I do, otherwise he wouldn't rage. Someone who's making a genuine living at the kind of job they're supposedly doing does not have a lot of free time or impetus to react to shit cooking online, but everyone wants to be the next Gordon Ramsay (who's not all that great a culinary mind either but a great showman).

 

[Falcon Sebben]

everyone wants to be the next Gordon Ramsay (who's not all that great a culinary mind either but a great showman).

Now he's a showman and all that because it's what made him famous. But back in the day when he opened his first restaurant that got him his first Michelin star he was a superstar. He earned two Michelin star for the same place in under three years which is an accomplishment.

Spoiler: Michelin Star sperging

Having just one of these things is an accomplishment. It means the restaurant has something special.

One star means, "hey if you're in the neighborhood try this out but don't go too far out of your way".
Two stars means, "this place is really good and it's worth a bit of a detour on your way."
Three stars means, "this is your destination and plan your vacation or time there around it".

Also the whole Michelin star thing is not just about the food. It's everything. It's from the moment they walk in to the moment they walk out. It's the decor, staff, attentiveness to detail, service and the food. Sure after a while and after he made his name he could sit back and rest on his laurels because he earned it and people would come in to eat because he's Gordon fucking Ramsay. But you don't get awarded 17 of the damn things by only being "okay". It takes obsessive attention to detail. If you want to see a fictionalized example of this, see the movie, "Burnt" with Bradley Cooper. The things they go through to earn those stars is nothing short of exhausting.

 

[rubytintedchix]

Some FUD News:

Rodney Scott's BBQ of Table 11 infamy is now closed. It seems the owners had some legal trouble with their meat supplier.

Article: https://www.live5news.com/2026/05/03/rodney-scotts-bbq-officially-close/
Archive: https://archive.ph/yxX7p

Spoiler: Carolina BBQ Wars Video

Jack apparently is mentioned in the iPhone AI class action lawsuit. He appears on page 70.

Complaint: https://clarksonlawfirm.com/wp-cont...EkZzAkdDE3NzgwNTU5OTEkajYwJGwwJGg5MzEyNjU3ODQ.
Archive: https://archive.ph/mKcsk

Spoiler: Screenshot

Edited for clarification

 

[Shartavius]

professional chefs reacting to Fatty, are gold because you KNOW he's watching them and seething impotently at them.

It's also a helpful reminder that Jack is a flaggot whose hubris prevents him from acknowledging that his content can only have value as comedy (something demonstrated by reactions to his content inherently earning more views than his content by itself).

Rob, for example, can plainly see the role Jack's failings play in his own views and engagement, even a step removed from overt reaction content.

 

[Super Hans v2]

Some FUD News:

Rodney Scott's BBQ of Table 11 infamy is now closed. It seems the owners had some legal trouble with their meat supplier.

Article: https://www.live5news.com/2026/05/03/rodney-scotts-bbq-officially-close/
Archive: https://archive.ph/yxX7p

Spoiler: Carolina BBQ Wars Video

https://youtube.com/watch?v=rY-aTqwtUjw

Jack apparently is mentioned in the iPhone AI class action lawsuit. He appears on page 70.

Complaint: https://clarksonlawfirm.com/wp-cont...EkZzAkdDE3NzgwNTU5OTEkajYwJGwwJGg5MzEyNjU3ODQ.
Archive: https://archive.ph/mKcsk

Spoiler: Screenshot

View attachment 8965136

Edited for clarification

What kind of dumb nigger buys a full set of top-tier phones for their whole family while not having a job? Anyway, the case should be dismissed because Jack has often and openly said in the past he can't see beyond vague colors, like a kaleidoscope; he couldn't see the ads he supposedly got hoodwinked by.

 

[rubytintedchix]

Update....there's a settlement agreement.

Settlement: https://clarksonlawfirm.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/05-05-2026-Exhibit-1-Settlement-Agreement.pdf
Archive: https://archive.ph/HkXjU

On page 17 (which is actually page 18 in the PDF w/ the cover page), it says that Jack's damages are not to exceed $2000.

 

[the khat quaffer]

I mean sure, but I wouldn't call that a "job". He also got 2nd place in some local Macy's(I think?) cooking contest but the winner couldn't go to the finals so he went instead and failed there too.

But yeah, this is a man that has never worked a 40 20 hour workweek

Umm excuse you. Jack is a patriotic red-blooded entrepreneur and AMERICAN. He eats steak by the barrel, says his prayers, and repeatedly engages in free market capitalism with his expanse of sauces and merchandise. He also poisoned bunch of churchgoers

Dear god, give me strength to choke out my own son

View attachment 8956123

God would put Jack in the boy's club

Let's not forget CWC, who was always a lardo if not quite to the extent of a deathfat, was recorded to have downed almost 2 liters worth of Coca-Cola every day for two and a half years, and that's only one brand of pop. fanta

Wasn't he jacking off in his fanta

 

[Orkeosaurus]

What kind of dumb nigger buys a full set of top-tier phones for their whole family while not having a job? Anyway, the case should be dismissed because Jack has often and openly said in the past he can't see beyond vague colors, like a kaleidoscope; he couldn't see the ads he supposedly got hoodwinked by.

Its embarrassing that daddy jack is still buying Jr's phones for him. What is he at this point, 27???

I assume the fourth phone was for Tammy jr.

 

[p1138]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=D1SB--IiS2E
Jack is angy about reaction videos. And no it definitely doesn't have anything to do with people making reaction videos of him! He just hates them in the abstract. Total coincidence that Chef James Makinson happened to release another reaction video to Jack a couple of days ago:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=y2pAJC0RGf0

Says he's not saying it because someone reacted to one of his videos? LOL. "Go make your own video" the guy does make his own videos.

Its embarrassing that daddy jack is still buying Jr's phones for him. What is he at this point, 27???

I assume the fourth phone was for Tammy jr.

It's Fatty trying to prop himself up as the patriarch of the scalfani clan, spending Tammy's money on phones for everyone because it's the only thing he can do to try and get any appreciation out of everyone else. He probably takes credit for Jr's house too when we all know it was Tammy's parents that bought the whole property.

 

[the khat quaffer]

Fatty trying to prop himself up as the patriarch of the scalfani clan,

Vito Porkeroni, the Blobfather

 

[p1138]

Vito Porkeroni, the Blobfather

You jest, but if you've seen enough Fatty over the years he seriously believes that.

 

[the khat quaffer]

It's also a helpful reminder that Jack is a flaggot whose hubris prevents him from acknowledging that his content can only have value as comedy (something demonstrated by reactions to his content inherently earning more views than his content by itself).

Rob, for example, can plainly see the role Jack's failings play in his own views and engagement, even a step removed from overt reaction content.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=D1SB--IiS2E
Jack is angy about reaction videos. And no it definitely doesn't have anything to do with people making reaction videos of him! He just hates them in the abstract. Total coincidence that Chef James Makinson happened to release another reaction video to Jack a couple of days ago:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=y2pAJC0RGf0

Fun fact, I tried watching James' video on a work computer (no I dont' browse KF on my work computer) and apparently the computer is set to force youtube's Restricted Mode to on. James's video does not show up publicly on his channel and searching for the video title leads you to a message saying something like "This video cannot be watched in Restricted Mode." Did Jackie flag the video? IF so, lmao, lol even. The video is so tame. James never even insults/attacks Jack directly, just his cooking ability. He's been very upfront about this in at least two other videos: that he's criticizing the food, not the person.

Comments are also hidden in Restricted Mode. I guess that's youtube sneakily admitting their commenters are shitheads.

Now he's a showman and all that because it's what made him famous. But back in the day when he opened his first restaurant that got him his first Michelin star he was a superstar. He earned two Michelin star for the same place in under three years which is an accomplishment.

Spoiler: Michelin Star sperging

Having just one of these things is an accomplishment. It means the restaurant has something special.

One star means, "hey if you're in the neighborhood try this out but don't go too far out of your way".
Two stars means, "this place is really good and it's worth a bit of a detour on your way."
Three stars means, "this is your destination and plan your vacation or time there around it".

Also the whole Michelin star thing is not just about the food. It's everything. It's from the moment they walk in to the moment they walk out. It's the decor, staff, attentiveness to detail, service and the food. Sure after a while and after he made his name he could sit back and rest on his laurels because he earned it and people would come in to eat because he's Gordon fucking Ramsay. But you don't get awarded 17 of the damn things by only being "okay". It takes obsessive attention to detail. If you want to see a fictionalized example of this, see the movie, "Burnt" with Bradley Cooper. The things they go through to earn those stars is nothing short of exhausting.

Anthony Bourdain wrote in his book that the culinary industry is rife with drug use to cope with the stress. cocaine is apparently a necessary tool to have in your belt.
Th michelin star system is no stranger to dirty secrets. There was a chef, Bernard Loiseau, who killed himself because of a rumor (later proving to be false) that h was going to lose a star. There was a restaurant in Japan that got 3 stars...but it got so famous that nobody could get a reservation and waiting list was massive. I think by Michelin's own standards, accessibility is a consideration in awarding a star. So how did he get 1 star, let alone 3? Marco White who is my favorite chef, gave back his three stars because the passion and joy was lost.

Also Michelin apparently is biased towards UK-based restaurants. I wonder why.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Rob, for example, can plainly see the role Jack's failings play in his own views and engagement, even a step removed from overt reaction content.

Rob is awesome in that he's trolling Fatty while walking that fine line between direct trolling and plausible deniability.

Anthony Bourdain wrote in his book that the culinary industry is rife with drug use to cope with the stress. cocaine is apparently a necessary tool to have in your belt.
Th michelin star system is no stranger to dirty secrets. There was a chef, Bernard Loiseau, who killed himself because of a rumor (later proving to be false) that h was going to lose a star. There was a restaurant in Japan that got 3 stars...but it got so famous that nobody could get a reservation and waiting list was massive. I think by Michelin's own standards, accessibility is a consideration in awarding a star. So how did he get 1 star, let alone 3? Marco White who is my favorite chef, gave back his three stars because the passion and joy was lost.

Also Michelin apparently is biased towards UK-based restaurants. I wonder why.

Anthony Bourdain also had a lot of demons which is why he killed himself. But he's mostly talking about the NY and LA scene in the 80's and 90's. He said he and his chefs would be doing lines of coke to be able to get through the night because the rush and the absolute madness in the kitchen made it impossible to work sober.

Can't say how Ramsay got his stars but there was a point that he had something like 30. And yes Marco gave them back because he realized chasing the star was stupid and it took up all his time trying to be perfect. His passion was in cooking and putting out good food, not necessarily recognition. The guy is also a complete asshole. There's a story out there of a guy that came to his restaurant and asked for fries with his meal when they weren't on the menu and there was a "no substitutions" thing going on. He was one of those big shots that thought he could do anything with money so he said he'd pay extra for them.

Marco said, "okay" then proceeded to make the absolute best fries out there. He cut the potatoes carefully by hand. Fried them in duck fat. Salted the hell out of them and finally presented them to the guest who enjoyed them and looked smug. That is until he got the bill and was charged something like $200 for them. Why? The amount of time, cost of the ingredients and everything plus a "fuck you" service charge was added. His mistake? Not asking how much they'd cost because they're fucking fries and who would pay that much for fries?

You don't fuck with the people that make your food.

As for them being biased towards the UK? Funny considering they're French and France is the country with the most Michelin starred restaurants.