💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

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When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 17 1.1%

  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.2%

  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.4%

  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 2.8%

  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 16.6%

  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 252 16.2%

  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 902 58.0%
  • Total voters
    1,556
P-38 autist said:
Dear lord how horrifying. Also yeah if he ever tries to make proper appalachian food, I'm pretty sure he'll get disappeared by a mountain cryptid for insulting the appalachians
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Or worse, he’d have to visit Appalachia.
 
Lou's Sentient Backfat said:
Funny you should say that, there is now a Pepperoni Roll trail in Marion County WV. Can we convince Jack to go and do the whole thing? The amount of salt he would consume would make even his most heinous Sodium Chernobyl pale in comparison.
WV Pepperoni Roll Trail
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Jack can't climb halfway up a mole hill without having to stop and set up camp for the day. You expect him to go hike a trail?

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"Tammy, pack my bags! Time for a new Jack on the Go!"
 
It's actually depressing to know the only affection he shows anyone is to get back into their caretaker graces.

Jack is a spiteful guy and you can see him thinking it's hilarious to make Tammy wash him by pretending (well larping) a toddler TAM I MADE BOOM BOOM ! while actually thinking that's funny behavior.

I probably put chili flakes in her coffee mate so he can just guzzle that hazelnut sugar milk.
 
BOLDYSPICY! said:
Oh, boy. Wonder how badly he pissed her off this time.

I also totally misread "angel on earth" as "angel of death." A harbinger of things to come? I hope so. Die Jack.
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She had to tard wrangle him at least twice that we saw in the crunch wrap video. I strongly suspect she had had enough of his shit in that video and told him to shut the fuck up, the section he "mysteriously" didn't upload.
The Wan Piss popeye's promo video was just depressing. She wanted nothing to do with that vid.
The crab ragu video. She's slicing bread, saying nothing, face out of frame.

I suspect she's starting to have enough of his shit and even his caved in skull is starting to soak it in.

That or Mother's day coming up idk
 
the khat quaffer said:
That or Mother's day coming up idk
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God that's a depressing thought, Tammy seeing her failure to thrive award his brain dead wife with a new hole punched in the wall.
Tammy spends that day cleaning up after Jack and kratos or what ever 3rds gay name is.

At least Qorale can be with her man alone despite her giving all her money to Indian crypto scams so they eat cup of noodles.
 
Which would you rather watch?

1.) A film where Jack and Tammy are seated in their living room, and the UPS man (played by a young Yaphet Kotto) walks in with a delivery. Jack and Tammy both immediately become sexually obsessed with him. They loudly argue as they try to win his affection. They lose their composure, pull out guns, and shoot each other dead (like the ending of Reservoir Dogs (1992)). The UPS man, not having moved since walking in, goes “Nobody’s gonna sign for this package? All right then…” He then turns and walks back out of the house. Runtime: exactly 11 minutes

2.) A film where the entire Scalfatty clan moves to southern Iraq, where Jack opens a ukulele factory (GiveMe Ukeleles). They piss off the locals with their presence, who grow to despise them. Jack sells a ukulele to a sheik, which proves to be defective. It plays so poorly, that the enraged sheik orders the entire family executed outside of town beneath a fig tree. Runtime: 1 hour 47 minutes
 
Pig Cups said:
Which would you rather watch?

1.) A film where Jack and Tammy are seated in their living room, and the UPS man (played by a young Yaphet Kotto) walks in with a delivery. Jack and Tammy both immediately become sexually obsessed with him. They loudly argue as they try to win his affection. They lose their composure, pull out guns, and shoot each other dead (like the ending of Reservoir Dogs (1992)). The UPS man, not having moved since walking in, goes “Nobody’s gonna sign for this package? All right then…” He then turns and walks back out of the house. Runtime: exactly 11 minutes

2.) A film where the entire Scalfatty clan moves to southern Iraq, where Jack opens a ukulele factory (GiveMe Ukeleles). They piss off the locals with their presence, who grow to despise them. Jack sells a ukulele to a sheik, which proves to be defective. It plays so poorly, that the enraged sheik orders the entire family executed outside of town beneath a fig tree. Runtime: 1 hour 47 minutes
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I'd watch both tbh
 
Pig Cups said:
Which would you rather watch?

1.) A film where Jack and Tammy are seated in their living room, and the UPS man (played by a young Yaphet Kotto) walks in with a delivery. Jack and Tammy both immediately become sexually obsessed with him. They loudly argue as they try to win his affection. They lose their composure, pull out guns, and shoot each other dead (like the ending of Reservoir Dogs (1992)). The UPS man, not having moved since walking in, goes “Nobody’s gonna sign for this package? All right then…” He then turns and walks back out of the house. Runtime: exactly 11 minutes

2.) A film where the entire Scalfatty clan moves to southern Iraq, where Jack opens a ukulele factory (GiveMe Ukeleles). They piss off the locals with their presence, who grow to despise them. Jack sells a ukulele to a sheik, which proves to be defective. It plays so poorly, that the enraged sheik orders the entire family executed outside of town beneath a fig tree. Runtime: 1 hour 47 minutes
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always a pleasure to see you back in this thread.
Also option 2
 
Bassomatic said:
It's actually depressing to know the only affection he shows anyone is to get back into their caretaker graces.

Jack is a spiteful guy and you can see him thinking it's hilarious to make Tammy wash him by pretending (well larping) a toddler TAM I MADE BOOM BOOM ! while actually thinking that's funny behavior.

I probably put chili flakes in her coffee mate so he can just guzzle that hazelnut sugar milk.
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It is always important to remember that relationships are nothing more than commodities for Jack. He only forms relationships because they have to serve some beneficial purpose for him. You see it with all of his professional and social relationships. The only reason he befriended Charles years ago was because he was trying to use him to reignite his own dwindling YouTube career. One of the reasons why the famous church chili is as famous as it is is due to the fact that it provided a lot of insight into how Jack behaves around people when he thinks they can serve a purpose for him and how he treats them when they can't.

I think what is most mind-boggling is his relationship with his family. He literally needs his family members to take care of him just in order to survive and you see how he still decides to treat them like shit. He'll make social media posts like the one above to give the impression he is a happy man with a great life when in reality he is a miserable human being who constantly mistreats those who he is supposed to care about.

The day everyone in his life decides to say fuck you to his face and push him the curb is going to be the day Jack cries like a toddler.
 
LordofCringe7206 Vol. 2 said:
I think what is most mind-boggling is his relationship with his family. He literally needs his family members to take care of him just in order to survive and you see how he still decides to treat them like shit. He'll make social media posts like the one above to give the impression he is a happy man with a great life when in reality he is a miserable human being who constantly mistreats those who he is supposed to care about.
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The most amazing and recent example of this was the popeye's chicken anime meal video, where he basically berated Tammy for being a retard who spent too much money on food. But remember, this shit goes both ways between him and Tammy. She'll occasionally snap back on camera and shut Fatty up so you know full well that she does the shit off camera and likely far more often. They key takeaway from this is that they're both pieces of shit that deserve eachother. It's just that Fatty is much more public with his shit and has the mindset of a fucking toddler.
 
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